Chapter Twenty-Two: Beginning of the End (Delrand’s PoV)

            Not really wanting to believe that last night had ever happened, I leant against her balcony banister and looked out across the moonlit sky. The stars twinkled in the heavens as I gazed upwards and they reminded me of how her eyes sparkled in the twilight of the previous night. As I held her there in the water, I could remember how her heartbeat shallowed almost to a pause as she pressed close to my chest. The only pain inside me was the fact that I could still not let go of the tension that we weren’t alone and that I had to mask it from her by all means possible; yes, I hated doing it but I could not afford to make her agitated on such a wonderful night. Nothing could have made it more special, apart from the way we both ended up inside each other’s mind, how that came to be I was unsure but I did not wish to invade her in the way that I eventually had.

            It was the most sensual experience of my life, to really feel what she felt for me was something nothing else ever to exist could compare to. Though at first I was unsure exactly what it was I was feeling, eventually it engaged in my head that this is what she felt inside every time our lips met in such a passionate way. No longer could I have let her go for even a split second’s moment. My arms just magnetically locked about her and in a way I felt like I had finally made her mine; heart, mind, body and soul. In my head it sounded rather malicious to say but it was unmistakeable that that was how it seemed to me; there was no other way of putting it. I had her and no one on this godforsaken earth was going to rip her from my affectionate grasp.

            As I stood there I could feel her gentle breath on my neck, she was standing right next to me though her arms were tight around me waist yet I did not move to return the favour. There was too much going on in my head and what had happened that night did not help the anxiety and stress already put onto my troubled mind. Feeling her shuffle her weight as she stood there told me she was either nervous or frantic about something or other; and I had a pretty good idea exactly what was troubling her - the same thing that was troubling myself.

            Giving up on avoiding the obvious question or solution or technique to steady my mind, I slowly erected myself and wrapped my arms about her middle. I didn’t feel like talking tonight but I knew I would have too if she kept on consistently shuffling and nuzzling me; maybe she did not mean to do it intentionally and trying to catch my attention but it was definitely a subconscious thing.

            ‘Elara, what’s bothering you?’ I whispered down to her; after I had asked though I abruptly regretted it. Her hands gripped tighter onto my shirt and she buried her face to my chest; her sobs cried up to me and I could feel her tears soak through the cotton onto my skin. Holding her tighter was all I could do; I dared not invade her mind at such a fragile time for her. In the only way I knew how, I tried reassuring her that I won’t let it get any worse or delicate than what our relationship had become. I knew deep down that it was mostly my fault that what occurred did but there was no way now that I could ever take it back; this was something that could never be fixed and always remain broken. ‘Elara,’ I began but she held me tighter and I just barely grab a lungful of air to persuade her to release her grip about me. She thankfully let go, completely though that was not what I wanted. ‘No, keep ahold of me, dear. I don’t want to see you like this.’ I placed my fingertips under her chin and pushed up to get her to look at me.

            As soon as her eyes made contact with mine I saw how bloodshot they were from her tears. Wiping the residue of them away, I leant down and softly but quickly touched my lips to hers; they were salty from her crying but at least I knew I could make it all better for her, in time.

            ‘Please do not cry, we can make it all work out. We just need some time alone I think. We both have a lot of pressure on our schedule. But that time is not now, you must understand; we are needed here no matter how awkward and pressuring it gets. Just hold on, for me. I can’t bear the thought of you so upset from my mistake on top of everything everyone else expects from you,’ I tried to make my voice as fluid and unhindering as possible but even I could hear the tension buried deep within my words.

            On taking a deep breath in, she coughed then began to speak to me for the first time since about an hour or so ago. ‘I’m so upset, my head keeps hurting, I’ve been getting these random strange dreams and they’ve been playing on my mind, then there’s the fact that I have to force myself to hurt one of my closer friends, the sorcery is becoming more of a burden everyday and then on top of all that I have to keep pleasing you and to live with any little mistakes that I commit including last night.’ She paused to get her breath back; on saying all that was going on in her head she had not allowed herself to take any breaths or pauses. When her mouth began to open again for her to continue I pressed my fingers firmly to her salt encrusted lips and put a strong, firm set upon my face.

            ‘Do not say anymore. I know how hard it is for you, I’ve been inside your mind. It’s very complex and deep and left me with a headache for near enough half a day’s worth of hours. I have in no way meant for it to be so challenging for you. And I also know that I have now made it even more incomprehensible for you to carry on with your duties because you now have much more to consider when it comes to spending time around me.’ I did not wish for so much truth to come out of my mouth but it had and now I could not take back what had now been said.

            She would have to live with the truth of it and the truth that I also had much on my mind. I admit that I do not have more than she did but it still all added up to a fair amount of problem solving and finding yourself more confused than you were before you started trying to figure something out. I wanted to say more to her but on seeing her eyes dry up and her smile start to spread across her face I thought back on the idea and kept my mouth shut and simply smiled back at her. After wiping her sleeves across her cheeks, she took my hand and led me inside. Letting go, I turned around to close the doors and curtains while she continued over to the bed.

            I watched patiently as she undressed in front of my eyes; after the other night there was no need for the screen in the corner. Pulling on her nightgown, I undressed myself and slowly walked up to her side. Climbing onto the covers, I laid down on my back and signalled her to either lie next to me or on top of me.

            The slight but sudden change in her eyes caught my attention and I promptly sat up. ‘I’m not trying to pressure you into anything, Elara. Both of us are tired enough and it is best that we do just fall asleep for tonight. Come, lie next to me and we can talk for awhile.’ That seemed to do the trick. She clambered on wearily and lay on her side; her arms were bent at the elbow so they lay as a sort of barrier between our chests. Putting my hand on hers, I entwined my fingers between her clamped ones as a small reassurance nothing would progress this night. Opening my mind up to her, I allowed her to feel the calmness inside me and she shuffled her hand onto my shoulder and softly stroked the skin of my neck with her thumb. My breathing shallowed and slowed to a mere whisper and my eyes gradually closed. The last I remembered seeing was her sparkling eyes in the dimming candlelight.

            Sometimes it is hard to tell what is reality and what is imaginary; yet walking through this forest had an eeriness about it, it definitely felt real but there was still that uncertainty that it was still a dream.

            My feet kept to my usual walking pace, I had no fear inside me that I may stumble on a stone or protruding root. I kept walking and walking, where my destination was I did not know, I just let my feet carry me off deeper into the forest. Trusting my instincts far more than usual, I allowed my feet to step along the dirt path without me thinking about where to place each one; this left my mind to wonder off on its own trails and my senses to enhance and adjust to my gloomy surroundings. Due to the slight enhancement however every little disturbance in the air currents about me put my mind on alert. The slightest nose or movement or wisp of a breeze and my ears would point towards the disruption. Only then did I realise what form I was taking in this world - whether it real or not.

            Following my ears, I trod ever carefully along the trail; dropping my head and sniffing the ground I picked up an unfamiliar scent; fortunately for me it followed to same trail as the noise in the air. I kept walking and sniffing, pausing every now and then to make sure I hadn’t lost the scent. When the rustling became louder enough that I was sure the maker could soon either be able to hear or see me, I slunk my body down and crawled onwards. Slipping behind a tree as I saw the clearing ahead of me, I closed my eyes then reopened them as to make them adjust quicker. Scanning the scene I could vaguely make out a slumped figure against a tree indirectly in front of me yet across the open grassy patch. A sudden crunching resounded to my right, looking across from the figure I had spotted I saw another; it was cloaked in black though I could too easily recognise the face of the person whose body it was. Mordred.

            Her sobbing and whispers eventually reached my tensed ears and then I realised who he was threatening and advancing upon. Elara. Suddenly my hairs stood on end and I raised my haunches ready to pounce onto him if he dared got any closer to her.

            He did. On taking that one more step I pushed down with my rear legs and launched myself in front of him. Landing heavily on my paws, I turned to face him, growling, baring my teeth and one paw stamping on the ground in front of me as a warning. As I knew he might, he chuckled at me while she paused her sobs and tried to stand herself off the ground (I could hear rustling behind me and I could only assume it was her). His chuckling deepened and I growled louder and started to advance on him as he had done to her. As I knew my form was threatening, the desired effect was achieved when he stopped all he was doing and slowly took a step backwards. Advancing more, I barked as loud as I could and jumped forward until I could almost bite into his flesh. Shocking him as I did, he turned and departed the scene. On the off-hand to make sure he had truly gone and wasn’t just tricking me, I howled from the furthest depths of my lungs and raised my head so it carried to the very edges of the forest.

            Jolting up and jumping out of bed with a start, I planted myself against the nearest wall. My lungs were sucking in all the air about me and releasing it in the quickest pulses I could remember taking since I last used to properly run anywhere. Sweat trickled down my temples and cheeks and my body shook from coldness. I raised my arm and wiped the drops away and closed my eyes to concentrate on settling my gasping chest.

            Opening my eyes, I looked over to the bed and saw her lying on her side. Focusing on her face, her eyes were wide open with shock and fear; I tried to put on a brave face but after my behaviour just now I knew it wouldn’t settle her worry. I dropped my head and looked over to the curtains. After thinking that I couldn’t keep my explanation inside my head anymore, I walked over and clambered under the covers while wrapping my arms tight about her in an affectionate, protective blanket that the ones we were both under could not provide. Lying on my back, I stared up to the ceiling when she pressed her palm to my cheek and turned my head so our eyes looked into the other’s across the miniscule gap.

            ‘What is it?’ she whispered to me; her voice was a softness I was glad to hear and my mind settled slightly knowing she was safe as long as I was with her, beside her, about her. Looking into her innocent eyes, I knew deep down I couldn’t keep it from her or even twist it in the slightest way, so I owned up to myself that I had to tell her the truth, and all of it.

            ‘Nightmare,’ I simply replied at first, hoping that she wouldn’t ask anymore but, as I knew, her curiosity got the better of her and she went ahead and asked.

            ‘What? But you never get nightmares, or scared for that matter. What happened?’ Her voice held an edge of doubt and subtle nervousness that she couldn’t mask even if she tried.

            Sighing heavily, I dropped my head; lifting up to answer her, I looked over to the curtains. ‘Similar to your nightmares. Me, you, Mordred.’ I didn’t mean for my voice to sound so off-handed but it came out that way, I had little control over what my voice sounded like, nor did I really care about that right now. Unwillingly, my arms tightened about her waist and the complete length of our bodies touched under the duvet. She rested her head on my shoulder and I rested mine upon hers. Closing my eyes, I tried to calm my mind and, surprisingly, my breathing; my chest was still racing and pounding since I jolted out of bed. I knew it would do no good no matter how hard I tried to get myself to sleep again; so kissing her forehead, I pulled the covers from over me and swung my legs over the edge and sat up. Placing my elbows on my knees and leaning forward, I buried my face into my palms and sighed heavily. Her hand reached over and up onto my shoulder; then, feeling her shuffle across the bed to me, she wrapped her arms round my waist from behind and I felt her kneel behind me and her head gently rested across my spine.

            My thoughts trailed back to the dream I’d just had and my body shuddered uncontrollably for a second or two. I had never been so troubled before by anything; I mean, I rarely ever had dreams and when I did they were either bizarre or mildly interesting, but this was beyond any I had had before. There was too much linking everything together and how close it came to the ones Elara had been having. It made me wonder how close things were linked, truly linked in a way we didn’t realise. Could it be things were as darkened and terrifying as the dream?

            I then felt her hands slowly run up my back and onto my shoulders and she wrapped them loosely round my neck so her hands crossed but hung at the same time in front of my chest. She moved her head up too and pressed her right cheek to my left. Her gentle breathing settled my mind more than I could by myself.

            ‘As long as we are together, everything will turn out as planned,’ she spoke, the certainty in her voice and words also calmed my mind more and clamped it down in place to stop it wondering off some strange, confused path.

            ‘Maybe you’re right, my love. I just need time to think, but I won’t go anywhere. I’m not leaving you alone at night, or any night.’ At that, I reached around my left side and softly pulled her around to sit her on my lap. ‘It should get easier once you realise there is more to you than you think or appears.’ I brushed my fingers across her face to brush her hair out of her eyes, then smiled widely when I knew she could clearly see my face once more. ‘But now,’ I continued. ‘We should get back to sleep. It’s still night and I want you to be well rested.’

            ‘But you won’t be able to sleep again, I know you won’t. I’m as rested as I could be, I’ll stay awake with you.’ As kind-hearted as her words and meanings were I knew it was wrong for me to keep her awake because of my troubles. I felt selfish to do such a thing to her.

            ‘No, dear. I want you to sleep. I’ll stay here with you but you are right. I won’t be able to sleep again for tonight. Come, go back to sleep and let me watch over you. After my dream I want to consciously know that you’re safe, in my arms.’

            The worry that dawned in her eyes was a lot to put me off trying to keep my mind set on my decision but I managed and gently leant back pulling her with me. Shuffling our bodies I managed to position us the way we were before I woke up and I curled my arm under her and laid my hand softly on her hip. My other hand stroked smoothly up her arm that lay across me and my fingers traced along her cheek bones until her eyes finally closed and she fell asleep, soundlessly (but for her breathing), in my arms once more. As I couldn’t sleep, I let my eyes wander about the room and they ended up staring, for a long time, at the curtains. I remembered that I had shut and locked the doors that stood behind them and led onto the veranda, but there was something eerie about the way they seemed to slither as they hung there. Knowing I could not get up to go figure the source of the movement (afraid I might wake Elara again), I forced my mind to settle on a little crack or broken glass letting in a whisper of the breeze I could hear outside.

*****

            Though I could only see the night descend from the sky from her balcony, I still stood there in the fresh morning chill and breathing in the sweet dew-filled air. My mind seemed to refresh along with each breath I took and after some time standing alone and feeling chilled under my skin, I turned around and headed inside to wake my sleeping lover.

            Pacing over silently, I sat down on the edge of the bed. I gazed at her face for some time and noticed how relaxed and peaceful she appeared; there was no trace of all the stressing responsibilities and straining expectances that weighed down on her shoulders from the world. Her eyes fluttered for a moment but remained closed and she turned her head sleepily to rest on her other cheek. Leaning across with my hand, I gently wiped aside her hair that had still stuck to her face. Tracing my fingers along her hairline, I whispered to her. ‘Sweetheart, it’s time to wake up.’ A faint smile touched my lips as she turned back over to face me and creaked her eyes open. The deepness and darkness of them drew me in every time I saw them; there seemed to be a lot more to her than I knew she would ever let me know. But for now I just took in how beautiful she looked, even in this early hour of the day.

            ‘Wh-what time is it?’ she yawned as she sat up and stretched; my hand remained steady but dropped to her thigh.

            I chuckled at how her hair also seemed to be more than it was and stuck up at odd angles at the back. ‘Early,’ I simply replied.

            ‘And there you were last night saying you wanted me to get some sleep,’ she pointed out as she swung herself off the bed and went to change into her daywear. I got up and stretched myself then walked up behind her, though leaving a decent enough barrier between the screen and my vision.

            To get us started on conversation again, I began by simply asking, ‘how did you sleep?’

            Her swift and immediate reply was pacing over to me and pecking me soft and sweet on the lips with her own. Knowing she was in such a good mood, it made me wonder what I must have done to keep her from frowning or wondering around in such silence, though I did smile back at her as she smiled at me in the mirror on her dressing table.

            After brushing (more rather taming) her long, sleek hair, she paced back over to me and we wrapped each other in our embrace and I held her tight to my chest. There was nothing more I could wish for than to be holding her right now after the mishaps of the other night. Stroking the tips of her locks absent-mindedly with my fingertips, I bent my head down and meekly kissed her on the forehead. To that, she turned her head upwards so she could stare wonderingly into my eyes; in return, I just stared gently back. I could tell by the sense of wonder in her eyes that she was not consciously responsible for her hands moving up under my shirt and running her fingers up and across my back, as they were doing. Chuckling to myself, I leant down and touched my lips fully onto hers.

            Honestly, I had no idea or clue as to what I was really doing at that moment; all I remembered was our lips touching while our hands roamed over each other’s bodies, there was nothing more than that as far as I could recall but I did also remember the tapping at the back of my mind and what felt very closely related to temptation. Pushing it aside, I slowed my movements down and let her wash over me like a soft trickling waterfall in the heat of summer. All my troubles and thoughts seemed to melt away in an instance and I knew I was home. And as sure as time would continue to pass for the rest of the day, this moment was ceased by a rapping on the bedroom door. We suddenly looked over to it, ruining the subtle pleasure we were just sharing, and waited for either the handle to turn or a voice to call through the old pine; neither happened so I let her go to see what the disturbance was about and if it had been really necessary.

            Opening the door and peering through the crack that began to appear, I saw that it was Beth standing there with a look of worry about her. I opened the door wider and stepped aside to let her in.

            ‘Beth, what is it?’ Elara asked with a little bit too much urgency in her voice.

            Beth did not answer straight away but rather looked at me with some sort of questioning look, I simply smiled subtly back.

            ‘It’s alright, Beth, what you can tell me you can say in front of him,’ Elara explained and walked over to shut the door and push me over to my usual chair, I did so reluctantly.

            Taking in a small but deep breath, Beth started her story, or so it seemed at first. ‘Your father has just sent me up to say that some sort of argument has been going on and that he wishes to speak to you immediately.’ She stopped very abruptly and I had to take a few seconds to re-listen to the few seconds she spent talking. Elara just stood in her place, her eyes wide with worry and I could see her hands shake by her sides though only so slightly that I doubted that Beth could tell that she was going through her own argument in her head. Being myself, I stood up and walked over to her and put my hand into hers.

            ‘Thank you, Beth. I’ll see she gets there soon,’ I spoke slowly and very low that I knew she could just hear my words. However, my eyes remained on Elara’s eyes and I saw her eyes blink very rapidly and in succession. Her hand shook more as I held it gently and she turned so she could lean into my chest and cry. Her body shook with her silent sobs and I stood there, unmoving and watched Beth walk out the door and shut it behind her.

            As soon as her footsteps could no longer be heard, Elara stood up straight and wiped her eyes. My eyebrows furrowed as I was confused that she knew what it could be about.

            ‘Elara, what’s been going on?’ I asked, bemused.

            ‘Something that has been going on for a long time here. And I have a feeling it has something to do with you.’ She stared at me with no accusation in her eyes but a look of apology and what I could only describe as fear. ‘I can’t go to him. I’m not willing to go through this. I know it can be seen as cowardice but I am strong enough to decide for myself.’ As she spoke, she walked past me and walked onto the veranda and dropped her head while leaning on the barrier. I watched from where I stood, but my feet had other thoughts of their own.

            Before I knew it, my feet had carried me over to her side and my arms found their way about her middle. Her eyes closed and remained so for the whole time she stood there and fought her way through the troubles on her mind. Closing mine in response, I leant down and rested my forehead upon hers and I slowed my breathing hoping it would help her relax in my arms and let her troubles fade away. But it wasn’t the effect I wished for, instead her sobs increased and her chest began to pound; she threw my arms from around her and transformed in front of my eyes and hopped onto the balcony banister before leaping out into the night sky. There was nothing I could do but to follow her, I took my shape and stance as she had and followed her out into the night, silently.

            Elara, please turn around, this is foolish, I called out into her mind, but there wasn’t much I could sense except anger, confusion, a whirlwind of emotion and nothing more than the blackness that encased us as we flew through the chilling air.

            I can’t take it anymore, Delrand. This is all I feel like doing, never looking or turning back, just keep running or flying as far as I can ‘til I can’t any more. It was clear from the state of her mind and the sudden aggression and sharpness to her words that she almost really did mean it. There was very few things I could do to help change her mind or at least stop her in her tracks and help her think it through before she regretted her decisions (which I guessed would be more spontaneous).

            Elara, please, I’m asking you to stop and please just talk it through with me… Before I could finish what I wanted to say, I was bombarded from the side by a similar looking form. Though it was dark, my eyes had now adjusted to the lack of light and used that of the moon, so I could tell that the black and white feathers that collided into me were definitely not her.

            Screeching and scratching, I pulled away to correct the dive I had been forced into. Once I’d pulled up and started to climb up towards her level, I spotted ahead of me the body of the bird that had purposefully flew into me. As I should have guessed without any thought, it was Mordred; clearly he had been in the nearby vicinity and had taken the chance to grab her, possibly he did not expect me to have followed her out like I had done.

            Spreading my wings wider and flapping harder than before, I quickly caught up to him and overtook him to fly above his head; reaching down with my claws I tried to slice into his back, but he rolled away from my attempt.

            You cannot stop me, Delrand. Give up.

            Never. His response was a screech so high-pitched that it sent a shock into my head and disorientated me for a split second. A split second too long. After shaking my head and looking around me to try and spot him, it was too late. Both of them had disappeared and there was nothing but a torrent of wind gusting into me from the west.

            No longer able to keep the wind off my attempt to fly around, I gave up and landed on the hard earth. Changing back, I looked up into the sky to see if they were anywhere up there, but it was clear; at least of birds or bats or insects. All there was up there now was a thick cloud rolling in and slowly engulfing the moon and its light in its deepness and looming down upon me and where I stood.

            All that kept going through my mind was that I could have been more aware of what was going on around us as we flew into the night; looking back now I realised how I had put all my focus on her rather than also on what was about her. And, now, because of my narrowness, I had lost her to him and there was no way to trace where he had taken her. Not knowing what I could do and knowing I could not do it alone, tears began to stream down my face and for the first time I knew what it felt to feel loss and loneliness. Still staring up at the sky, though the moon had now completely been swallowed by the storm cloud, I listened to my head which I had not done in awhile and tried to think of where he had taken her. Nowhere came to mind and only then did I know there was nowhere he would have taken her that I would check, nowhere obvious.

            ‘Elara.’ Though it was pointless to call out for her, I couldn’t help but say her name hoping, somehow, someway, she could hear me. ‘Elara.’ This time only a whisper, I couldn’t keep the memories from flashing in front of my mind’s eye and causing my eyes to burn with pain and fear and shock.

            Appearing in her room, I sat down on the edge of the bed and bent forwards, holding my head in my hands. My shoulders shuddered with the pain that I may never see her again or at least the girl I knew so well. There was no way of telling what he would do to her without me around to protect her; though she had it in her to at least hold him off, I knew she would be too scared to focus on her power properly. Only now did I wish that I hadn’t fooled around so soon but to keep my feelings hidden away until she was finally and truly ready for any mishaps such as tonight.

            Closing my eyes and settling myself, I tried to tell myself that she is stronger-willed and determined enough to withstand whatever plans he had for her. Suddenly someone placed a hand upon my shoulder and I jumped up and spun around evasively. It turned out to be Oscar; I only assumed he heard or saw what had happened while he was on a night flight about the vicinity.

            ‘Oscar,’ I whispered, while wiping what remained of my weeping.

            ‘We can get her back,’ he replied. ‘And if not, have faith. You know as well as the rest of us what she is capable of.’ Though he tried to comfort me it did little good against my worst fears.

            ‘Yes, but there is very little we know of him and his new expanded power. There could be any number of possible methods he could use to change her…’

            ‘Stop,’ he said abruptly. ‘Even if that were true, I very much doubt she will let you slip her mind. As long as she concentrates, she will do just fine without you there. You’ve seen her concentration at its best; it was enough to cause our unconsciousness. Remember, Delrand, there is still a lot about her you may not know. Keep that in mind. Also, we are all willing to help you track her down.’

            ‘We?’ I asked in a hushed voice.

            ‘We,’ came a voice from behind the door; and in stepped Harrod and Justin and stood each side of Oscar. They each bore a subtle smile of weariness yet hopefulness.

            ‘Oh, we.’ I nodded and looked vaguely around the room. ‘Well, there’s no time like the present. Shall we?’ They each in turn nodded their head once and stepped around to me. Disappearing into thin air, we vanished into the night and so our journey began to find Elara and save her. And, hopefully, in the process, track and hunt down Mordred and finally remove his presence from this world for good.