I've been working on my essay and my other assignments all evening but it's a struggle. Every minute feels like torture. I didn't go into the woods earlier today and now I wish I did. I'm feeling restless and suffocated by my surroundings- the four walls, the stuffy but chilly air, the general darkness of the house.

I close my laptop and go over to the window where Yokai is sleeping soundly on the window seat. He stretches and goes back to sleep when I sit beside him to look out the window. The moon and the stars are out tonight. The tree branches look bone-white under the pale moonlight. They sway from the wind but thankfully, it doesn't look like it's going to rain.

My eyes are drawn to the Gauthier mansion, far away on top of another hill with their warm glow of lights.

Why am I so fascinated by Elias Gauthier even though he's been nothing but rude to me?

I've never cheated on Dillon, nor will I ever cheat on him. Having this feeling for another man is already making me feel guilty.

Maybe I'm feeling this way because Dillon and I haven't been spending a lot of time together lately. I don't go to parties anymore and I've been making excuses every time he asked me out these last few weeks.

Perhaps Dillon was right. Maybe I should spend more time with him and tonight is as good as any since he won't be home much this weekend.

I get up and take a peek at my phone to look at the time. It's just after ten. It's not too late to go to that party.

A different kind of guilt quickly rises as I think of going to a party when my grandmother isn't well.

I went to see my grandmother earlier. Her condition hasn't improved one bit nor has she gotten any worse.

I try to squish the guilt down as I look through my closet. I need to get out of this house, even just for a little while. It'll be good to clear my head. Maybe I'd go see Dillon and my friends just for a little bit. I won't stay too long.

The night is cold, so in the end, I choose to wear a simple, long-sleeved, black rib-knit dress. It's figure-hugging and ends a few inches above my knees. I pair it with knee-high black boots over long black socks.

The only jewelry I have on me other than my diamond stud earrings is the one that's been in the family for generations- a big, oval, rose gold locket hanging from a long gold chain around my neck. It's engraved with the initials KC in cursive letters. It stands for Katherine Chastain. Chastain is my grandmother's maiden's name and Katherine Chastain was her mother. My grandmother gave the necklace to me when I was thirteen.

I brush my hair, apply a few strokes of mascara to my eyelashes, a layer of crimson red lipstick to my lips, and I'm done.

"Sweet dreams, Yokai. I'll be back soon." I give Yokai a quick stroke before I grab my purse, phone, and keys.

The door creaks when I open the door of my bedroom. All the lights on the third level of the house are off, but thankfully, the chandelier above the landing of the staircase is on. It's dim, but it gives me enough light.

There's that feeling of being watched again as I make my way down the hallway and down the wooden staircase. My heart starts to pound faster in my chest and the hair at the back of my neck stands on end. The sound of my footsteps seems too loud- loud enough to wake up the dead. It echos through the massive stairwell and the open foyer.

Fear coats my body and mind like thick, sticky tar. The feeling lasts all the way until I drive out of the front gate of the Blackwell Estate in the dark of the night.

It's not a long drive. It takes me just over twenty minutes to get to the Hammonds'.

Cars are parked on both sides of the Hammond's driveway all the way to the gated entrance when I get there. I have no choice but to park my car on the street, by the curb.

Even though this is a safe, exclusive neighborhood, I press lock on the keyfob as I leave my car.

My grandmother got me a reliable Mercedes as opposed to a flashy sportscar like some of my friends have. I asked for a convertible but she got me a sun-roof that I rarely use. I asked for a sleek Roadster but she got me a C-Class Sedan like a soccer mom instead. She is crazy like that.

A week later, she asked me if I'd really rather have a convertible. She was worried that I didn't like the car that she got me. I can't believe I had to convince her that I loved the car. She's crafty. I think I fell for that one.

I actually don't mind the car. It's a pleasure to drive and I don't need anything flashy. She told me time and time again that she didn't want me to grow up to be a spoiled brat but she kept giving me everything I asked for. She's such a sucker.

I smile as I think of my grandmother. My smile quickly dims as I think of a different version of her lying on her bed, barely moving.

A shiver runs through me when the cold wind blows as I walk up the driveway to the lit-up mansion. Now I wish I brought a jacket with me.

The driveway is long but I can hear the music even from here.

I text Dillon and Giselle before I step into the house.

The party is in full swing. Kids are everywhere, dancing, talking, drinking. There are a few couples grinding in the corners.

They have a DJ on a raised platform at the far end. Hired servers in uniforms are circulating and serving drinks and taking away empty cups and glasses.

This is just one of the properties that the Hammonds' have but it is gorgeous. It's modern with a lot of glass walls and sleek contemporary art. They also have small sharks swimming around in a tall, enormous aquarium in the middle of the room.

My eyes roam around the crowded dance floor, looking for my friends before they wander up to the mezzanine on the second level.

Even with the selective invitations, there are still certain unspoken rules that everybody seems to abide by at Bradley's party- the upstairs, especially the mezzanine is off-limit. You are free to go anywhere on the main level, the garden, and the basement but you just don't go up there.

There are no bouncers or guards to stop you from going up but it's understood that you're not supposed to be up there if you're not one of them. "Them", meaning the selected few who come from the richest and most influential families in the city; the crème de la crème or the kings of Paul Bishop High. They're like the Gods up there looking down at us, mere mortals on the first floor.

The Gauthier twins certainly belong up there along with Bradley Hammond and several others.

As my gaze sweeps the mezzanine, my heart suddenly skids to a halt before it thunders. Elias Gauthier already has his eyes trained on me.

He is looking stunning in a pair of black jeans and a steel grey dress shirt under a black v-neck sweater vest. The shirt and the vest hug his shoulders and chest like a glove. The sleeves of his shirt are folded up to just below his elbows. His hair is tamed a bit with some kind of hair product but a few dark locks still fall across his forehead and eyebrows.

He gets up to stand by the railing, to watch me. It takes me a while before I can force my feet to start moving again. Our eyes locked as he tracks my progress across the room.

Our stare is broken when I bump into a girl who's standing next to a snack table with a group of several other girls. "Excuse me," I say.

"Oh," she gasps. Something that looks like a chunk of shrimp and scallion falls on the floor. "Katherine Blackwell," she breathes.

Oh, great. She knows my name and I have no idea who she is. "I'm so sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going," I tell her before I quickly leave.

There are people playing drinking games in the kitchen but I still can't find any of my friends. I still haven't heard from Giselle or Dillon, so decided to text Tilly and Jane, asking where they are.

There are several kids in the hot tub in the backyard and a couple making out by the pool even in the cold weather, but none of them are my friends. None of my friends have answered my text either.

When I walk out of the kitchen, I encounter the same girl that I bumped into earlier. She and her friends are looking up at the mezzanine.

"Really, I don't know what he sees in her," says one of the girls waspishly. "She's not even that pretty."

"Maybe he likes girls dressed in all black and wears dark lipstick and thick black eyeliner," replies another girl.

"Well, she wasn't dressed that way last month," remarks the first girl again. "I would have dressed up as a goth if I knew that would get Elias Gauthier's attention."

My gaze quickly darts up to the second level. He's sitting on one of the chairs, and this time Roxanne is sitting on his lap. She is wearing a small black tank top with black shorts and fishnet stockings. They're talking and he's not even glancing downward anymore.

Those boys only bring girls that they're really serious about up there, which is very rare, except for Bradley Hammond who's been with Carly Johnson since forever. Even Ronan who's been seen with several girls before never brought anyone to the mezzanine with him. Does that mean Elias is serious about her?

It's none of your business, Katherine. It's none of your business. Besides, he's a jerk and you have a boyfriend. Why do I have to keep reminding myself of these things? Now I'm annoyed with Elias and mad at myself.

I tap one of the girls on the shoulder. I think now I remember her from one of my classes. "Excuse me, have you seen Giselle Noble or any of my friends around?"

She starts to shake her head but another girl quickly says, "I think I saw Jane and Giselle earlier down there somewhere." She waves her hand in the direction of the basement door.

"Okay, thanks!" I tell her before I head down.

The basement, thankfully, is not as crowded as upstairs. It is basically a man's wet dream of a man cave with a pool table, an air hockey table, a pinball machine, and a classic arcade game machine that plays Pacman, Space invaders, and Asteroids. A long sectional sofa separated an area with the latest game consoles, along with the VR. The wall in front of it is basically one giant screen.

There is a wet bar near the far wall. A popcorn machine sits by another wall just before a corridor that leads to guest rooms and a theater room with another massive screen complete with a surround sound system.

I continue on my search down the corridor and peek inside the theater room where a movie is playing. Only several people are in there and a couple is busy making out. I walk out again and stare at the darkened corridor.

I don't know what it is but I'm drawn to a guestroom a few doors away from the theater room. The door is slightly ajar. Something about the sounds and the movements inside the room makes me slowly walk up to it and push the door open.

The dim light from the table lamp in a corner is enough for me to see Dillon, half lying on the bed with two girls.

One of the girls has her back to me but I recognize that pin-straight blonde hair anywhere. Jane.

She is straddling him while her hand is gripping his hair, pushing his head backward. She's bouncing on him up and down while he's kissing another girl who's only in her panties.

I watch, hypnotized at the sight of his tongue swiping inside the girl's mouth.

There are moaning and groaning sounds that I don't wish to hear.

Then Jane turns her head to look at me with a smirk on her face as she keeps riding him.

I must have made some kind of sound because Dillon looks up and freezes. "Cat..."

This isn't happening. I shake my head to dispel the image in front of me as I push backward. This isn't right. It's not happening.

Dillon pushes Jane off him to get up. His dirty blond hair is disheveled. It's sticking up everywhere.

"Cat, wait! Please..." he says as he's struggling to pull his pants up. I think he's saying something else to me but I'm not listening anymore.

No, I can't do this. I turn around and run.

************************************

Hey ya!

Thank you for reading, commenting, and the follow. 

I hope this helps ease the lockdown blues for some of you. To be honest, I don't know how long I can keep up with updating every other day, but I'll try for as long as I can.

Thank you so much for sending me the questions for Q&A session. I'll try to answer as many as I can. 

Pls be safe and stay healthy!

Much love, 

Nicole♥