“Class, dismiss!”

Nagligpit na kami ng gamit habang ang mga kaklase ko ay naglalabasan na ng classroom. Nang maisukbit na ang bag, sabay na kaming lumabas ni Destinee. Nakita ko pa si Trevor na kausap ng professor kaya nagpaalam na rin ako.

“Ingat! Gusto ko sana sumabay kaso may mga gagawin pa ako.”

Ngumiti ako. “Ayos lang. See you.”

Tumango siya bago ibinalik ang atensiyon sa professor. Tuluyan na kaming lumabas ng classroom ni Destinee.

“Can you tell your cousin that I really didn’t know him? Hindi ko talaga siya kilala, swear! Baka naman nagkakamali siya? Baka kamukha ko lang,” she explained.

Hindi na ako sumagot pa. Sumilip na lang ako sa terrace ng building para malaman kung mainit bang maglakad ngayon pero nakita ko sa ibaba ang pinsan kong si Calista na hawak ang cellphone habang nakatapat sa tainga.

Lately, she’s been very distant. Ang hirap na niyang contact-in. Does Fine Arts give her a load of school work? But she liked it! She’s enkoying every work she’s doing, as far as I remember.

I was about to shout for her name when she turned her back and ran away.

She doesn’t look fine. Should I pay her a visit sometime? Kaso, hindi naman kami close ng parents niya. No one’s close with her parents, though. Kahit na kadugo ko pa ang nanay niya, hindi talaga namin siya ka-close.

“Sol . . .”

Napalingon ako sa tumawag sa akin n’on at handa na sanang bigwasan kung sino man siya nang mapaawang ang bibig ko dahil nandoon si Klein.

“Ohh? Bakit ka nandito?” I asked.

He shrugged. “Uh, are you busy?”

Lumingon ako kay Destinee. Umiling siya nang umiling habang nakangiti. “Magko-coffee raw kami—”

“Masakit pala ang tiyan ko! Sige, see you, Sol!”

Umamba akong sasabunutan siya nang tumakbo siya palayo sa amin ni Klein at tuluyan nang umalis ng building. Ibinalik ko na ang atensyon sa taong nasa harap ko.

“So, why are you here?”

He smiled before he showed his hand to me. “Shall we go out? Hindi ka naman busy?”

I chuckled. “Hindi masyado.”

“So . . . let’s go?”

“Saan ba tayo pupunta?”

Nagkibit-balikat siya bago kinuha na ang kamay ko. “Kahit saan.”

Nagpahila na lang ako sa kan’ya. Sabay na kaming umalis ng building at pumunta sa parking lot.

“May plano ka bang puntahan?” I asked.

Umiling siya bago inilagay ang helmet sa ulo ko. “Roadtrip lang.”

I chuckled. “Okay.”

Isinuot na niya ang sariling helmet bago sumakay sa motor. Umangkas na rin ako sa likod bago niya ito ini-start. Ilang sandali pa, nagsimula na siyang mag-drive paalis.

Nang makarating sa highway, napatili ako’t napahawak nang mahigpit sa  kan’ya dahil sa biglaan niyang pagdi-drive ng mabilis! Naramdaman ko ang pagtawa niya kaya naman kinurot ko siya sa tiyan para tumigil.

He kept on driving and driving until the ride was comfortable enough to look at the scenery around us. Ipinatong ko ang ulo sa likod niya habang nakatingin sa mga puno at bundok na nadaraanan namin.

This is what I’m really thankful for not living in a highly urbanized city. Though we’re often called probinsyana kahit na wala namang mali ro’n, still, living here is one of the best decisions my family has ever made kahit na nag-work si Papa sa Manila before.

I’d always stay here . . . kahit gaano pa kaganda ang ibang lugar kaysa dito.

As time went by, the sun was already setting down. The sky turned orange and the wind is cooler than it ever was. I closed my eyes as I held Klein’s waist tighter.

Nothing’s more comfortable than his wide and warm back. I have always been in love with the feeling of leaning on his back. Now . . . I finally felt it once again. Wala pa rin pinagbago sa nararamdaman ko lumipas man ang mga panahon.

Madilim-dilim na nang makarating kami sa Kart City. I-p-in-ark niya ang motor bago namin tinanggal ang helmet saka bumaba ng motor. Kinuha niya ulit ang kamay ko bago kami pumasok sa loob.

I chuckled. “Ang tagal mong nag-drive, dito lang pala tayo pupunta. Feeling ko sobrang layo.”

He looked at me and smiled. “You were comfortably hugging me from behind. How can I ruin your moment?” He grinned.

Hinampas ko siya dahil sa pang-aasar niyang ‘yon. Tinawanan niya lang ako.

We entered the place and he paid for our Go Kart ride. Since medyo madilim na, baka dito na rin kami mag-dinner, tutal, may restaurants naman dito sa loob at may iba rin activities. P’wede nga rin kaming mag-inuman dito pero syempre, dahil ako ang kasama niya, ayaw ko.

May alcoholism siya. I know that he knows when to stop now and he’s drinking moderately pero ayaw ko namang i-risk ‘yon. Isa pa, magdi-drive siya.

After the operator briefed us about the Go Kart, we wore the helmet that was given to us before riding our own kart. Nasa likod ako ni Klein kaya ilang beses pa siyang lumilingon sa akin.

“Are you sure you can?” he asked once again.

I chuckled, nodding. “I can. We always come here, don’t worry.”

Ngumiti siya saka tumango bago ibinalik ang atensyon sa harap. Sinindihan na ng operator ang makina ng kart namin kaya naman ni-ready ko na ang mga paa ko sa tapakan, sa acceleration at sa brake, hanggang sa umandar na ang sinasakyan kong kart.

Napasigaw ako nang maramdaman ang biglaang pagbilis ng sinasakyan ko. Naunahan ko na nga ang kart ni Klein, muntik pa kaming magkabingguan! Mabuti na lang, medyo marunong talaga ako!

Hay. Mukhang need ko na ng sariling sasakyan dahil marunong talaga akong magrive ng kart . . . charot.

Ilang sandali pa, narinig ko sa gilid si Klein. “Don’t rush! Mababangga ka!”

I laughed. “Hindi ’yan! Wag ka mag-alala!”

“Drive safely, Solari!” galitt na sabi niya.

I laughed and ignored his nagging.

Since he availed the ten laps option for us, sobrang nag-enjoy ako sa kart racing naming dalawa kahit na wala siyang ibang ginawa kung hindi ang pagalitan ako sa gitna ng pagkakarera naming dalawa.

Nang matapos, umalis na kami ng kart at ibinalik ang helmet sa operator, then we walked away from the place.

“You’re a reckless driver,” he said.

I looked at him, laughing as I shrugged. “Marunong nga ako, bakit ba ayaw mong maniwala?”

He rolled his eyes at me. “It’s still dangerous, ang dami natin kasabay nagda-drive.”

I smirked. “Kumalma ka na nga, okay naman ako, eh.”

Nagbunga na lang siya ng buntonghininga. “So, let’s eat? Does Tita Luna knows you’re out?”

I nodded. “I texted Mama earlier. Doon na raw siya mag-dinner sa bahay ni Caleb.”

He nodded in response. We entered a restaurant and sat on a vacant table. We ordered a simple dinner meal since we’re really hungry at the moment to choose carefully. Masasarap naman ang pagkain dito.

Nang dumating na ang pagkain, nagsimula na rin kaming kumain. Sa kalagitnaan n’on, narinig namin ang mahinang pagtugtog ng kanta sa malapit na lamesa.

I chuckled. “Uso pa palang ringtone ang isang kanta?”

Lumingon siya at pinakinggan ang tugtog habang ang babae ay hinahalughog ang bag, nagmamadali para masagot na ang tawag.

No other magic
Could ever compare . . .

Ibinalik niya ang atensyon sa akin nang nakangiti.

“I lost myself seventeen . . . then you came, found me. No other magic . . . could ever compare . . .”

He continued singing the song even though the woman already answered the call. I nodded, smiling, before I took a bite of my pork chop.

“Ang ganda nga ng kanta.”

The song sounded a lot more beautiful when he sang it, honestly. It literally gave me goosebumps.

“I usually listened to that song when we broke up.” He chuckled. Muli siyang sumubo ng pagkain at ngumuya bago nagsalita ulit. “It sums up everything about you and me.”

I smiled a little. I sang the song in my head and my heart started beating wildly when he talked again.

“The chorus sums up everything about how I feel for you.”

I don’t understand. Why is he being just friends with me if he really still feels the same? Kung mahal niya ako, bakit . . . bakit hindi niya ako balikan?

“For as long as I live, and as long as I love, I will never not think about you . . . you . . . hmm . . . I will never not think about you . . .”

I bit my lower lip as I gripped tighter on the spoon and fork that I am holding as I continued listening to his voice, singing that song as he finished his meal.

“From the moment I loved, I knew you were the one. And no matter whatever I do . . . ooh, hmm . . . I will never not think about you.”

This day has been a very beautiful day. I would only ruin it if I asked him about us. Sa ngayon, hahayaan ko na muna siguro na ganito kami.

Tutal . . . pareho naman kaming masaya. Wala naman sigurong mali. Wala naman kaming sinasaktan. Wala rin kaming niloloko.

We can still be happy together without the relationship that we used to have . . . right?

When I finally finished my meal, we left the restaurant and decided to roam around the place. Though it’s a weekday, marami pa rin talagang namamasyal, lalo na ang mga kabataan. Ang iba, naka-uniform pa.

“I just realized, we never really travelled when we were together back then.” He chuckled. “Bukod sa birthday celebration ko sa isang mamahaling restaurant, hindi man lang kita nadala sa labas ng Tarlac.”

I smiled. “That’s because we were young. It’s alright.” I heaved a sigh as we continued walking while the cold wind was hitting us. “There are more opportunities to do that in the future.”

He took a deep breath as he walked and stopped in front of me, making me stop from walking too. I looked at him.

“What?”

He gulped. “Do we really . . . have a chance . . . to do that soon?”

I chuckled. “Oo naman, ’no.”

He smiled. “Do we really . . . deserve another chance?”

My forehead slowly creased as my smile slowly vanished with his question.

“W-What are you trying to say?”

He shrugged, slightly shaking his head. “Wala. I’m just asking.” He smiled a little. “Do you think . . . I deserve that?”

“What?”

He gulped. “You.”

My eyes started to heat. “Why are you asking me that? If you think you don’t, hindi ka na ba gagawa ng paraan to deserve me again?”

He took a deep, deep breath before he smiled. “Maybe this is right.”

“What’s right?” I asked, confused.

“Us, being friends . . . for now.”

I looked away as I felt a pain in my chest. “Why don’t you just get to your point?” I gulped before looking at him once again. “You can just tell me if you’re going to settle with us, being just friends. Wala namang problema. Ano ba yung sinasabi mo pang for now?”

He gulped as he looked down. “Are you okay with being friends with me?”

Of course, not! “Oo naman. Bakit hindi?” natatawang sagot ko. “Ikaw ba?”

He smiled a little. “Okay lang din.” My heart broke a million times once again. “Pero hanggang kailan ’to? Hanggang kailan ako magiging kontento na magkaibigan lang tayo? Pakiramdam ko kasi, ito yung pinakatama ngayon. Pero paano kung . . . sa susunod sa mga araw o buwan . . . hindi na ako kontento?”

I looked down because I finally got his point but it still hurt me.

“This is why I always say that we’re friends for now, because we never know when we will want to be more than that.”

“Ayaw mo ba ngayon?” I asked in a faint voice.

He sighed. “Solari . . .”

Nag-angat ako ng tingin saka pilit na ngumiti. “I understand.”

He gulped, his mouth shut. “Solari . . . I’m still really in love with you. And you know that when I say that, I meant that.”

I nodded as a tear fell from my eyes. He sighed before pulling me into a hug.

“I’m sorry for making you cry.”

I shook my head as I lightly hugged him back. “No. Don’t be. It’s alright. Tama ka naman. We shouldn't rush. We were apart for two years. Back then, our relationship was like rushed. This time, we need to take our time.”

He hugged me tighter as I felt him sigh in relief. I buried my face in his chest as I finally hugged him tight.

I'm still in love with him too . . . and I’m willing to wait until he finally decided to be more than friends with me.

I’m willing to settle for this less just to be with him and be happy once again.
  

The song I used for this chapter was Never Not by Lauv.

:)