Airin took a deep breath, mentally preparing herself for something she knew had to be said, had to be put out there for Xander to know. Maybe this would deter him.

"I have had ... relations ... with men. I have thrown myself at their feet, begging to be loved, doing all that they wanted to me to do just to pick up bits and pieces of signs that they loved me back. I was trying to find out what love was. Four, five, six times. I do not know anymore. They were all bad. I failed everytime." She was shocked at how calm she sounded. "I had grown up in a home where my parents had the most bitter marriage you could ever imagine could happen to two people. Listen, Xander. I do not even know if I can trust my feeling about love anymore. I do not know. I only know one thing ..." she took another deep breath. "I know I do not want to hurt you."

"And ... there was this man ... Sean ..." what followed was a thorough story of her one night with Sean. It was weird to tell the story of such a shameful night for her without even batting an eyelid for it. She realized she had taken the plunge and told Xander all. She wanted to deter him, right?

When she was done, she searched Xander's eyes for signs that she had deterred him with her revelations.

He was not deterred.

His gaze was as serene as ever to her. "You told me not to let my heart forget my hope. Hope is for something that is still to come, isn't it? And we do not know what is still to come."

Airin nodded weakly.

"The future is unwritten for you and for me, Airin. I have my past, my dark past, the wounds have stayed with me and you have helped me start healing. You have your past ..." Xander paused, breathed slower, and continued,"Who to say two wounded people cannot have one future of happiness together, a future still unwritten?"

The question was so strange for Airin because it had an answer that her heart agreed to: Yes, Xander, yes, the future is unwritten, and we can have a future of happiness together. We can.

But she could not will her mind to also agree to it. She had become a master at secondguessing herself, at sabotaging her own possibility at happiness because she was so scared of being disappointed again. To temper her hope, to stay still, to not wish for happiness was better than to actually pursue a chance at happiness, because then she did not get hurt if it failed.

The sky had turned to orange, purple, reddish hues. The sun had almost set. The orbs of lights that swam underwater seemed so much brighter now. For a moment, Airin just stared at the orbs and the waterfall. They were beautiful, so beautiful.

"I guess ... I need time, Xander, to answer your question, to answer if it is possible for us to happen, for you to be in my life."

Xander nodded, looked at Airin, and smiled. "Then have all the time you need, Airin."

"I will go back to my universe. I will put my life back on track there, and I will think of the answer."

Xander nodded again. "I will come to you to find out the answer."

This time Airin lit up. "That would be very nice. Yes."

"When is your birthday, Airin?"

"The beginning of summer. 21 June."

"I will ask Elisthia to use her sorcery and knowledge of the stars to count the time difference between Halgard and your universe. I will come to you then. Is that alright?"

Airin smiled and nodded. She struggled not to go ahead and hug the guy in front of her whose smile was always so shy, so sheepish. Why does he have to look so handsome? she sighed to herself.

They were quiet as the night fell. Stars twinkled on the dark sky like little diamonds that had been spread haphazardly on a black velvet cloth.

"Among the stars above I breathe your name, Airin. So eternity may have it, and time will not lose it ..." Xander whispered loud enough for her to hear. His eyes fixed on the sky.

"That is a beautiful poem, Xander," she looked up to the majestic stars too, and continues, "It is the first time ever in my life someone dedicated a poem for me."

Xander turned, and his eyes widened with such soft gaze at her. "It will not be the last time, I hope."

Then they were quiet again.

"I would like to leave Halgard tomorrow at sunrise, Xander," she finally nodded her head and spoke clear and loud. Her heart and mind were one solid team and that felt good.

Xander sighed and nodded. "As you wish, Airin."

She smiled, but her smile faded away when her eyes caught the black bandage on Xander's palm again.

<<<>>>

It was Elisthia who was on the verge of hysterical sadness when that night after Xander took her back to her room, Airin decided to go and see her friend to tell her personally of her plan to leave Halgard tomorrow.

"You cannot leave Halgard! Airin! Please!" Elisthia started sobbing while grabbing Airin's arm and shaking it.

Airin was taken aback with the intensity of Elisthia's sadness. Yes they had grown close these days, but this was just surprising. It was not like Elisthia did not know that she was from another universe? That she was just a temporary guest here?

"You cannot leave Xander, Airin. Please do not ... he ..." Elisthia grabbed her shoulder now and shook it. Elisthia visibly bit her lips and speaking in halted manner,"He ... has been ... wounded."

"I know. His palm. From the war. Elisthia, what is it? What do you know?"

"His wound ..." Elisthia struggled to speak like she was fighting forces within her of telling and not telling.

"Elisthia? What is it? Do you know what has happened that he got wounded?" she tilted her head, fully focusing her eyes on Elisthia's tears-stained face.

Elisthia cried and shook for a bit, then slowly she was able to get a grip of herself. She turned quiet, her breath calmed down, and she looked up to Airin. "I know you have to leave. I am sorry if my reaction just now was inappropriate. I just hope you will think about it ... consider it ... again."

A tinge of disappointment tugged Airin's heart because Elisthia did not wish to speak further of what had happened that caused Xander's wound.

"I have to go, Elisthia. My home is not here. I miss my kids, those young students in my class. I miss my life in my own universe."

Elisthia's gaze at her was sad when the sorceress nodded her understanding of her reason why she had to go home to her own universe.

"But Elisthia, please tell me ... do you know what happened to Xander's palm?" Airin could not let go. Elisthia knew something, that much she was sure of.

Elisthia stared at her for a few seconds, before turning around, walking to her room's largest window, and sighed to the stars up in the sky. "What would you not do for the one whom you love? Eternity and glory were just like sand that you let escape from the gaps between your fingers," was all she said as an answer to Airin.

Airin did not understand it. Elisthia turned again to face her and now the sorceress smiled. "Rest, Airin. You will go home tomorrow."

That was all that Airin could do now. She excused herself from Elisthia's room, went back to her own room, and spent the whole night tossing and turning without sleeping even a wink.

<<<>>>

The next morning, when Prissa, whom had become her chambermaid again, came knocking at her door, Airin was ready. She wore the same clothes she wore when she was taken against her will by Leidra from her apartment that night: Her Spongebob Squarepants flannel shirt and pants pyjama set, and socks. She used the wool shoes from Halgard, tied her hair in one bun on top of her head, and looked around her room one more time before leaving with Prissa.

They went first to the dining room where Rovan, Elisthia, and Lyanna had waited. Rovan looked healthier but still pale and had to walk with the help of a cane. He came and nodded his thank you and goodbye to Airin. Then Elisthia gave her a big hug, and whispered,"You are my friend. That will never change."

Airin hugged her back.

"I want to visit you someday and get one of these too," Elisthia smiled as she patted Airin's colourful pyjama shirt.

"Come, we will have fun. We can both wear identical pyjama and have girls pyjama night," Airin chuckled when she saw a tint of confused look on Elisthia's face. "Beer, wine, lots of fastfood, online shopping, talking, and stuffing our face with pints of ice cream till the sun comes up," Airin elaborated. Elisthia laughed and nodded hard. "Not sure what ice cream is, or online shopping, but sounds lovely!" she whispered. "No boys and sorcery allowed," Airin added with a wink.

Then Lyanna came and hugged her and cried a bit. The little girl was back to her happy self after her harrowing experience during Myrana's invasion. She shoved her head closer to Airin's ear and whisper,"Why can't you marry Uncle Xander and stay here, Airin?"

Airin almost choked on the innocent question.

"I think he is very handsome, he is very sweet, and he loves you," Lyanna looked dead serious.

"It is not that simple, sweetie," was all she could muster to say.

"Love is supposed to be simple, isn't it? Why do you have to make it complicated?" Lyanna's brows furrowed and Airin admired the intelligence and honesty of such a young girl. She had always believed that children said the most honest thing, without secondguessing, without the powerful engine of the thinking mind tainted it with worries that it might have been wrong or inappropriate.

For sure Airin did not have an answer to such a good, obvious question. "I will miss you so much, Lyanna," Airin kissed the girl's forehead, and Lyanna hugged her tight. "I will miss you, Airin. Maybe I can go with Elisthia to visit you," she said before letting Airin go, smiling, and running back to her father.

"It is time, Airin," Elisthia came to stand next to her while nodding to the direction of the door.

Airin took a deep breath and turned around.

Xander was at the door.