UNEDITED

I will miss you when you go much more than you'll ever know
But I'll have a memory to keep you near
In my heart you will remain, but it just won't be the same

-"I Will Miss You"
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"It hurts baby, it hurts so bad
But what's the point in keeping the pain of something that you had?"

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I WAS AFRAID to face the entire school. The thing is, I absolutely hate pity hugs and pity smiles and the kind of sympathy you get when something goes wrong in your so-called perfect life. I have always been a private person, not wanting to parade my life in front of the entire school population. But, this was different.

Jake was leaving and I hadn't spoken to him since we got back. It was stupid, I know. I had successfully avoided him for the rest of my stay at the trip, and didn't bother to answer his numerous calls or reply to his texts. I just didn't want to talk to him, because I didn't want to say anything that I would regret later.

I needed time to cool off.

We returned on Monday afternoon and as soon as we arrived, I hitched a ride with Arthur. He wanted to leave soon and I was more than happy to comply, not bothering to even say 'goodbye' to anyone. Arthur didn't question me at all throughout our ride, he just kept silent and I was glad that he respected my privacy. After I got home, I was completely unproductive for the rest of the day. It was only later at night that I got out of my bed for food, not bothering to even shower the entire day.

My mum was suspicious, but she shrugged it off as fatigue from the trip. Little did she know about the whirlwind of thoughts that kept me occupied. I wasn't one to cry that easily, I had done enough of that when I was young. But, Jake leaving and not telling stung. And it hurt.

It hurts really bad.

I know I can't be mad at him forever, because I might not even see him after this. The fact that he knew and yet, he kept pursuing me is what pissed me off, I had started developing feelings. Actual feelings. It just pains me to know that after all the years that I tried to open up, it's come to this.

But you never actually loved him, he was just a safe bet.

Shut up!

I may not have loved him, but I surely fell for his charms. Partly. Jake was more like the support I never had, it felt nice to have him, spend time with him. Well, at least till it lasted. I glanced towards my clock, it was 7:10 a.m. I sighed and got out of my bed, breaking the stream of my thoughts and forcing myself to finally face the world.

*..................*

"Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?"

I sighed, resting my head on my locker and glancing at the person standing next to me. His eyes were soft, and his expression grim. I knew what he was going to say and I didn't want to hear any of it, simply because he would've been the 3rd person since morning to console me.

Consoling that I didn't need. At all.

"I know what you're going to say. So, please don't."

Braydon looked confused, and then scratching the back of his head gave me an unsure smile. "You do?" He asked.

"Yeah, it's hard not to know when I've had half the people walking in the school hallway say the same stuff."

"Really? You must be getting a lot of sorry's then."

"What?" I spluttered out, gaining a perplexed look from Braydon.

"Uh, yeah. I well-it's, uh- I came to apologize?" He stammered, unsure of what to say.

He looks cute.

Shut up!

"Apologize? Am I hearing that right?" I couldn't help but smirk at his flustered self, when was it that you had the school's moody boy apologize?

"Shut up. I came to apologize for being uncooperative, and also for uh- not telling you, uh- sooner about... You know.... Stuff."

I looked at Braydon with a raised eyebrow. Sure, he was cocky and a bit demanding, but I also knew that he had a pure heart. A smile formed its way onto my lips, and I proceeded to do something that I never knew I possessed the courage for.

I hugged Braydon.

It was a simple hug, one that screamed uncomfortable from his side, since he literally froze. He relaxed after a couple of seconds, resting his hand just under my back. I pulled away, looking at him with a warm smile. His expression was soft, but he held no serious emotion on his face.

"Apology accepted. But you don't have to be sorry for Jake leaving, trust me when I say this I would've wanted him    telling me about it than anyone else."

Braydon nodded in understanding. I proceeded to walk towards our home room, along with him, we had exactly two and a half weeks left for our competition to end, and I didn't want to slack. Braydon and I sat beside one another for the entire duration, and once we were dismissed, we parted after agreeing to see one another during lunch, to talk about the 'Fleur Cup'.

The first three periods went by at a rather fast pace, and once the bell for the fourth period rang, my body refused to move from its place. I sighed, willing myself to go and face my fear by attending the next class. As I began to gather my belongings from the desk, I could feel another presence behind me.

"You ready for World History?"

I looked over my shoulder to see Nina standing there with an unreadable expression, I knew what she meant by that question. I was glad that she decided to enter class with me, I don't know what I would've done otherwise. I was dreading this moment right from the start of this day, I was not ready yet and I honestly didn't know when I would be.

I wasn't ready to face Jake. Not yet.

"Yeah." I mumbled, finally moving towards our class. Nina held my arm, I knew it was her silent way of telling me that she was there no matter what, and I couldn't be happier. I thought I wouldn't feel the pain, but as I inched closer towards the classroom it felt like the walls were closing and all eyes were trained on me. I couldn't breathe and I guess Nina sensed this because she halted, and looked me in the eye,

"Deep breaths, Bella."

I listened to her advice, calming my senses and with a final exhale nodded. We walked towards our usual seat, and I kept my eyes trained on the floor, avoiding anyone with a functional sensory system. The class started fairly after that, and I soon lost myself in the world of Renaissance and development. Until, the door banged open and in barged in Jake Madison.

It seemed like all eyes in the classroom were trained on me, I couldn't help myself when his eyes met mine. The only consolation I gave myself was that, he looked equally miserable, with bags under his eyes and disheveled hair. I averted my eyes as soon as I could, not wanting to distract myself any further. But who was I kidding? I couldn't focus after this, not even if I tried.

"Alright, Mr. Madison. Please be seated, I'm aware of your situation." Mr. Yuan said.

As if things couldn't get worse, Jake decided to occupy the seat right behind me. Suffice to say, I couldn't concentrate anymore. Nina kept glancing at me time and again, and I smiled at her. I didn't want to disrupt her studies, too. I could feel Jake staring at my back, and by the end of that class I felt a paper being placed on my desk, discreetly.

Meet me at the parking lot after school.
Please, sweetheart.

I read the note and sighed, banging my head against the desk. I knew I had to face him, I knew that it would have to be today. I just wasn't ready. Honestly, I don't think I would've been ready any time soon. But I had to do this, because I didn't want to end things on a bad note. That was just not me.

I looked over my shoulder, as expected, Jake was staring at me and I just nodded my head before proceeding to take down the notes.

*.......................*

I stood in the almost empty parking lot, waiting for Jake to arrive. The bell rang about 15 minutes ago, and for a minute I decided to chicken out. But then I realized that I had to do this. It was inevitable. After my encounter with Jake during History, the rest of my day went by in a blur. Most of the time, I was unaware of what was happening around me and it was really difficult for me to focus on the classes. I think Braydon knew something was up from the way I fidgeted when he spoke about certain photos, I was just glad he didn't say anything. We decided to meet after school on Thursday, and then with an almost inaudible 'take care' he left. It was sweet, really. Unexpected, but sweet. I told Nina and Arthur about Jake's request, and both of them agreed on the fact that I had to meet him.

"Sort it out, Bella. Once and for all." Arthur had said.

I was brought back to the present with someone clearing their throat next to me, I glanced at Jake. He looked visibly nervous, a very handsome kind of nervous. I straightened up, and went on to look at our surroundings. For several seconds, he didn't utter a word and I think it couldn't have been more awkward than this.

"Hey."

I glanced at Jake, with a slightly parted mouth and a cocked eyebrow. He nodded in defeat and went on,"Right. Sorry. Dumb thing to say. Bella, I- I don't what to say. It's just, I was stupid. I fucked up. I'm sorry. I know I've hurt you, but please. You need to know that it was unintentional."

I looked at his sincere eyes, of course I knew that it was unintentional. But that didn't take away the pain, did it now?

"I know that Jake. I'm just- I'm mad because you hid such a thing from me!"

Jake looked guilty, his head hung in shame. It was comical, really, I would've probably laughed had I not been in this situation and its intensity.

"I know. I know. Bella, I was just- I don't know what I was thinking alright? I thought that-"

"Thought what? That we could work out a long distance relationship? A cross continent one?" I shot at him. I was angry, and boy was it all coming out.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I like you a lot, I did something stupid. Please, I- I want to spend my last days here with you." He pleaded.

Last days.

"On one condition." I muttered.

"We need to end whatever we have. Like, right now. No more kisses, no cuddling, no sweet talks. Nothing."

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Hello,
I am sorry, I'm like 6 days late to posh this chapter. Internships kinda suck.

So what you guys think?

I think the storyline is going to progress fairly well from here on. Yayy to that.

Also, it's a short story so I'm going to like pace it up a bit now.

By the way, of you guys haven't already, please check out "THE PAINT AWARDS"

I think they've a few spots left for entries. Hurry up guys!

Love,
Skye.