no introduction needed today im too sleepy for that

so basically

first week of school just finished

grade 11 is death

EVIL INCARNATE

the class im in is actually pretty good, i have most of the lads from last year and a few other friends, so at least its lit

im taking AP English this year, with O level Literature

our teacher, her name is Mrs Issa, is the head for the region for English

everyone says she's super scary but she's actually really good and she's chill

we did our first poem today

it's called "The Clod and The Pebble" by William Blake

^^hit me in the feels like a cannonball to the nether region

(if you read it and know me personally you'll understand why)

im not even joking, the lesson after that, i had math, and i ran to the bathroom because i couldn't hold in my emotions and i cried for a while

i don't know exactly why i just felt so guilty and sad

i hate myself for everything i've done

to everyone

honestly im a jerk

im just a dumbass

i don't treat the people i love the way they deserve

im selfish and i never take into account what the other would want

God, i wish i could change my wrongs

i haven't had that great of a week, to be honest

i spent the first two days depressed

the rest of the week wasn't much better

i just don't know what to do

my future seems so dark and covered with pain

i don't want to feel more pain than i already have

but it's God's will, and if he deems it fit, i will have to abide

im just praying that my life becomes better sooner rather than later

i miss a lot of my friends who've left

especially the ones who were my closest friends

most of them are in Canada or in different schools

we rarely talk, but i miss them so much

anyways

let's talk about recent music

aM I THE ONLY ONE WHO DOESN'T LIKE LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO BY T SWIFT?

it's such a nice song but she flips it on its bum with the chorus

oh, look, another song where Taylor is targeting someone

sky is blue, sun is hot, my grades are shite

everyday things, amirite?

also, i've been playing a load of basketball in school

turns out, i increased my vertical by a large  amount

vertical means how high you can jump, by the way

i've also increased my shooting speed, which means that i can pull up for a shot much, much faster

if i lose some weight, i can increase my chances of getting into the basketball senior team, because now i find out that the grade above us has some crazy people, and they're going all out for the tryouts

can't wait for the NBA season to start, by the way

anyhoo, that's all for this chapter!

the weekend starts, and i've got a good two days to chill out, and sleep peacefully

hope yall do too!

see ya

from ya boi,

Abdullah