{ Chapter 22: Exes and Oohs }

Inside the office of the IMP Headquarters, Moxxie ia holding his signature mug and Loona texting on her phone. Danika is polishing her swords. Moxxie looks around for a moment and softly claps twice.

"You know, I checked the scale today. And it said I lost two pounds this week."

Loona looks at Moxxie, then rolls her eyes back to her phone, much to his annoyance. Danika looks at them.

"I. am not. FAT!" Moxxie sneered.

Suddenly, the front door was kicked open by a furious Millie as she stomps around the office, mumbling angrily.

"Ooh! Such a fucking asshole! That little motherfucker. I just wanna take my finger up and shove it up his fuckin' little thing!"

Upon coming up to the table, Millie slams her coffee cup on the it disturbing Loona and scaring Danika. Millie then passes Loona and hits a button titled "Nut button!!" that summons a cardboard cutout of a human saying, "Hi! I'm a Hooman!" then throws a knife and lunges at said cutout. Moxxie looks at her, disturbed.

"Millie, honey. Is everything okay?" he called, concerned.

"Yeah, what's wrong?" Danika asked.

Millie hisses back at Moxxie in response, disturbing him even more and concerning Danika more, but she manages to calm down.

"Yeah. Just...bumped into an ex." she glanced away bitterly, tail twitching.

"Oh! Oh..." Moxxie said.

"Oh..." Danika glared.

Millie retracts her knife from the cardboard cutout.

"He just kept going on about how he has money now, "a bright future," and "a bigger cock"."

"Wait, what?" Moxxie questioned in shock.

"Yeah, what??" Danika questioned, disgusted.

"Every time I see his stupid face, I can't help it! I just need to—"

Millie punches the filing cabinet beside her in frustration. Blitz enters the room on his phone shortly after.

"What the fuck is all this noise? I got a client!" he shouted.

Moxxie and Danika kneels down to pick up the photos.

"Sorry, sir. We'll get this all cleaned—"

Moxxie holds up a photo of two imps making out in horse suits.

"What is this?"

Blitz snatches the photo from him and lies through his nervous smile.

"Uh, research! For science! Just put it back correctly, okay? Alphabetize them." he said before walking back into his office and talking to the client back on the phone. "Okay, so let me get this straight: you don't want us going to Earth at all for this job?"

Inside of a mansion sat a businessman holding a lit cigar, and his chair facing a green fireplace.

"Correct. That will not be necessary. I'd like to meet you and your whole crew at my estate." he stated.

"Uh, you want us killing someone in Hell. 'Cause I got to tell ya, that ain't exactly our business anymore." Blitz pointed out.

"I'll tell ya all about it when you get here." Client said, smoking his cigar. "It's regarding a business venture I'm sure will be very worth your time."

"Ooh, how ominous." Blitz chuckled before getting serious. "Fine, whatever, what's the address?"

"Transportation has already been taken care of." Client said before hanging up.

Blitz peeks through the office blinds and notices a helicopter in front of his building. He runs to the office Danika, Moxxie, and Millie are in to find the helicopter before the main window.

"What the fuck is that?" Blitz questioned.

The helicopter shoots a grappling hook under the window, breaking the wall. Loona looks on without a word.

"Satan's ass crack! Enough with the wall shit, we have a door!" Blitz shouted in frustration.

With the damaged walls, a wind gusts through the office and distributes all the photos Blitz had been saving across the town.

"My research!"

Two imp children grab one of the photos and are visibly disgusted; one is crying, and the other is vomiting from the result. The helicopter approaches Blitz, creating a bridge for them to walk upon, and the pilot steps out.

"I.M.P? Right this way, please!" Pilot instructed them.

"Uh, sir?"

Moxxie points a gun toward the pilot, while Millie holds her knife out and Danika holds her two swords out.

"What's going on?"

"Now, don't worry! It's just some fancy shmuck from Greed wanting to do business with us." Blitz assured them as he, Danika, Moxxie, and Millie walk toward the helicopter.

"Uh, sir? I don't think this is a good idea." Moxxie said cautiously, looking down.

"It'll be fine. Now, get your asses moving."

Blitz pushes Moxxie and Millie into the helicopter while Danika walks in after them, and as she tries to buckle herself in, Millie notices her seatbelt is broken.

"Is this thing safe?" she asked in concern.

"Don't worry, we are professionals!"

The pilots proceed to take out a huge chunk of a wall as they fly off. Later, the same helicopter is seen flying out of a hanger in the Greed Ring as they fly over Loo Loo Land, which is going under reconstruction, along with other carnage as they fly over a sign reading, "Welcome to Notamafia Town; No mafia here! We're Mafia-free!". Danika cringes at the sight of Greed Ring, remembering reading about it and how this ring is worst compared to other rings.

"I hate this place." Moxxie let out a disdained groan.

"Oh, yeah. This is your old stomping ground, isn't it, Mox?" Blitz asked.

"Yeah, unfortunately. I grew up just over there," Moxxie pointed through glass. "...swore I'd never come back, and— uh uh— what— what, where are we going?"

The helicopter starts changing direction, as Moxxie grows more and more anxious.

"What— Blitz, who did you say this meeting was with?"

"I'm not sure, just some rich somebody or other who wants to do biz at his place." Blitz answered.

Danika gets a feeling that this meeting won't be great as the helicopter finally lands, and Moxxie grows heavily worried after realizing where he's landed.

"Oh, no, no! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!"

The place in question is revealed to be a huge mansion, dark smoke fuming through both chimneys. Moxxie shivers in fear of the place, as Blitz shoves him to move forward.

"There he is!"

The client moves out the doorway, being visible to reveal a quite tall imp demon, standing closer in height to Blitz, with white hair, black and white striped horns, and yellow sclera. Around his eyes are white markings, with the right being larger than the left. He possesses a crooked and bent tail with white accents near the base and on the middle of his tail fork.

His appearance is similar to Moxxie, with similar hair and shape of his horns, however larger and slightly more jagged. His skin is a darker shade of red and his legs appear to be plantigrade, rather than digitigrade. One of his fangs has been replaced with a golden fang.

His attire consists of a red high-collar shirt that grips his neck, topped by a navy blue coat with light blue accents, thin red stripes, red buttons, and red lining. His pants are dark blue which also have thin red stripes, and his shoes are black and red-heeled dress shoes. He also wears a black fedora with a red and white band.

"There's my boy! Get over here and give your daddy a hug!" Client continued, holding out his arms.

""Daddy"?" Blitz, Danika, and Millie repeated in shock.

Client glares at them.

"I only let Moxxie call me that. Unless you pay me!" he said before laughing.

Moxxie clears his throat nervously as he starts the introduction.

"Guys, um, this is my father, Crimson. Sir, this is my boss, Blitz. My coworker, Danika. And my—"

"—Millie! I'm his wife!"

Millie takes her hand to greet Crimson as he accepts.

"And what a beautiful wife you are." he said, kissing Millie's hand. "Mox, where have you been hiding this pretty little thang?"

"Oh, I'm sure he would've introduced us.. eventually." Millie said.

Crimson rolls his eyes a bit and faces Blitz.

"Oh, I'm sure. You got to be Blitz, with the silent "o", right? I've heard a lot of good things about you and your work." he said, shaking his hand.

"Really?" Blitz asked, turning to Moxxie. "What kind of shit has Moxxie been spreading about me? I'll fucking kill you Moxxie, don't you fucking test me!"

"No, no! From all over. Looks like you're building a bit of a name for yourself here, kid." Crimson said.

"Really?" Blitz chuckled. "Well, I guess it's about time folks recognized my talent."

This made Crimson laugh and playfully punched Blitz's shoulder.

"I like your attitude."

He then turns to Danika and approaches her.

"And you must be Danika. The Deadly Night Shade and a daughter of the Ars Goetia." Crimson said, looking at her up and down.

Danika was surprised that he knew her and got a little tensed.

"Uh, yeah. That's me. How'd you know?" she said, holding out her hand to shake his.

"Like I said, from all over. You've got quite the good amount of reputation for your assassination." Crimson said, taking her hand and kissing it. "Well, I hope you're all hungry. We put together a fabulous dinner for you."

Crimson then pulls Danika over to the mansion while leading the others inside. Danika gets more tensed seeing that he's not letting go of her hand before they're in front of the door as he lead her inside first before Blit came inside. While doing that, Millie gets concerned and turns to Moxxie for an explanation.

"Hey, baby. Why haven't I met your Pa before?" she asked.

Moxxie becomes nervous, feeling uncomfortable to talk about his father.

"Well uh, y'know, i-it's just, never been a—"

"Hey! You two, move it before it gets cold." Crimson called out.

"Look, look, Millie, we can talk about it later." Moxxie assured her.

Millie takes Moxxie's hand and both enter the house with Danika and Blitz. Crimson's smile fades then he snaps his fingers and enters the house. The two men standing at the door follow him inside, closing the door behind them. Inside, Crimson prepares a drink for Blitz.

"So, Blitz, ya always been a hitman?"

"No, no, not always. Yeah, I was in the circus for a long time." Blitz said, taking the drink from Crimson.

Crimson finger guns at him, impressed to hear about the circus before sitting down.

"Show business! Good money in that."

Everyone sits in the room in an awkward silence. Blitz smiles awkwardly and tries to shake his ice in his drink, only to find it not floating as Blitz realizes what's inside the drink and pretends to take a sip. Danika notices and squints at Crimson suspiciously, who's sitting next to her where she's sitting for some reason.

"What are we doing here... sir?" Moxxie asked his father nervously.

Crimson rolls his eyes and lights his cigar.

"Moxxie, I raised you better than that. Ya know there's no business before dinner. Besides, we're still waitin' on one more."

Suddenly, the last guest kicks his way into the house, making an entrance. It is a tall, shark-like demon, having gray-toned skin with a lighter underside; his fins also sport a similar pattern, but have dark green accents and white spots on their ends. He has 3 gills on each side of his body and his sclera are neon blue with white rings.

"Woo-hoo-hoo, what is up, party people?!" he greeted cheerfully.

"Chaz?!" Millie and Moxxie exclaimed in shock before looking at each other in confusion. "Wait, what??"

"You know him?" Moxxie asked.

Millie groans and slaps her forehead.

"You remember that "ex" I was talking about?"

"Him?" Danika pointed at Chaz in disbelief. "He looks more like a pervert loser."

This made Crimson and Blitz snicker. Ignoring her, Chaz walks over and hugs Moxxie and Millie.

"Looks like I got two big sex reunions today. How lucky am I?" he said in a singsong tone.

"Did you date him too?" Millie asked, surprised.

"Ha, yeah. No big deal, but I usually bone half the people in any room I'm in—" Chaz started.

Blitz cuts him off and gets angry.

"Are you fucking kidding me?! There's someone who's fucked both of you?!" he exclaimed.

"Really, Blitz?" Danika deadpanned in disgust.

Moxxie pushes Chaz's arms off of himself and Millie.

"It was a long time ago." Moxxie mumbled bitterly.

"But, I still remember it like it was yesterday. You, a fledgling mafioso! Me, the dashing and extremely sexy muscle! It was like it was written in the stars." Chaz explained cockily.

"Ha! Moxxie in the mafia, that's fucking rich."

Blitz then notices all of the items in the room to back up Chaz's claim: A photo of Crimson and a mob boss, the many trophies of hellbeasts hanging on the wall, and a framed family painting of Crimson, a younger Moxxie, and Moxxie's mother, as if posing like a mob family, hanging over the fireplace. Danika was a little concerned with the decorations on the wall. Blitz hears a knock on the door and looks just in time for Crimson's goons to enter carrying a body bag.

"Oh... shit."

"You're a mafia..." Danika said to Moxxie in shock.

"You've never told me this before." Millie frowned.

"I-I don't really like to talk about this part of my life." Moxxie said nervously before speaking dramatically. But, I first saw Chaz at my induction."

He starts telling them about his time in the mob and how he met Chaz in the business room and how he felt something about him that was magnetic. Moxxie explained further about his mob turf war he was in and that Chaz helped him and their love story began.

They would meet secretly without letting Crimson know about their relationship. And they would do all the... fun times as a couple.

"It's been 84 years..." Moxxie said.

B"Isn't that from that boat movie?" Blitz asked, confused with the story.

"You mean, Titanic." Danika corrected.

"Did any of that stuff actually happen?" Millie asked skeptically.

"Oh, yeah!" Chaz confirmed and licked his lips. "But, he skipped over the jizz-covered parts."

"Anyway. Things changed when we went on a heist together." Moxxie continued.

He explained that he was on a run with Chaz to head to the exit after stealing a bag of money as the security gate begins to drop. Moxxie throws the money out of the bank and catches the gate with his shoulders to give Chaz time to slide under. Moxxie tries to escape but his leg and tail are caught under the gate when it drops to the floor.

Moxxie further explained how he begged Chaz for help only for him to run off with the money as the police arrested Moxxie. He was betrayed and then he was thrown inside a jail cell where he met Blitz.

"So, what're you in for?"

Moxxie quietly pulls his tail closer to him. His cellmate, Blitz, is lying on the top bunk.

"Okay, not much of a talker, are you?"

Blitz hops down and shakes Moxxie's hand.

"I'm Blitz, the "o" is silent. I'm sure we're going to get along just fine. So, what's your deal? What'd you do? Who'd you diddle? You look like someone good with a gun. You look like someone who could shoot up an office-"

Moxxie attempts to speak, but Blitz continues talking.

"-and I hope you are 'cuz I got a plan to get us out of this dump but I'm going to need some help, you think you can give me a hand? I need to get out to my daughter. The babysitter will kill me if I don't get back soon. Do you like kids? 'Cause lemme tell 'ya. They're a-fucking-dorable."

Moxxie tearfully smiles as Blitz continues talking about his escape plan. The scene returns to the present day.

"Once I got out, I never looked back." Moxxie finished his story before smiling at Blitz.

Blitz sits worriedly as Millie glares and growls viciously toward a nervous-looking Chaz. Crimson frowns in his chair while Danika feels symlathy for Moxxie and then glares at Chaz.

"Well, heh, as you said, it was a long time ago." Chaz chuckled nervously, tugging on his turtleneck collar.

Millie foaming at the mouth; shouts furiously.

"I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!"

Millie leaps onto the top of the couch, missing Chaz as her knife pierces through the fabric. Chaz hides behind Crimson's chair.

"Whoa, the fuck- Crazy bitch!"

Millie tries to lunge at Chaz again but is intercepted by Moxxie, Danika, and Blitz. Crimson stands in between I.M.P and Chaz as Millie holds up her knife angrily, pointing it at Chaz.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, HEY! Hold on!" Crimson tried to calm her down.

"You're going to die, bitch!" Millie sneered at Chaz.

The maid enters the room.

"Dinner is served." she announced with a French accent.

Everyone is seated in the dining room. Millie is viciously cutting through her food and glaring at Chaz, but the room is completely silent. Danika is sitting next to Crimson, where he sits at the end of the table with the fireplace behind him, once again as he insisted on getting close to her.

"So, this is aggressively uncomfortable." Blitz commented, breaking the tension.

"I suppose you want to know why you're here." Crimson guessed.

"Yeah, so what gives? You know we kill people on Earth, right? We don't usually do contracts for locals. So, if you want to do business with us, you got to—"

Crimson cuts Blitz off.

"I don't want to do business with I-M-P, I want to do business with Moxxie."

Moxxie stops cutting his food and looks at his father.

"ME?!"

"Yeah, kid. I only summoned I.M.P to be sure you'd show. Because, well, we're bringing Chaz into the family." Crimson announced.

Chaz smirks while raising his eyebrows. Moxxie couldn't believe it.

"What? Since when can just anyone join the family?"

"Come on, Mox. You had responsibilities here that I had to pick up once you left." Crimson said bitterly before calming down. "Now Chaz is going to lighten the load."

"Wait, I thought you always hated his guts." Moxxie said.

Chaz looks confused while Crimson shrugs.

"Well, I didn't exactly 'hated' him."

"You called him a "friendless horse-fucker" and said he lived a "sissy lifestyle"." Moxxie pointed out, remembering it clearly.

"Yeah, well, I was wrong. You've been gone a long time, Mox. A man can change. And so has Chaz." Crimson stated.

"Yeah. I've grown, matured, and, recently, came into millions! But, y'know, mostly the "mature" thing." Chaz said with his shifty eyes.

"Oh, really? You don't appear or smell rich if you claim that you have millions. Where's your proof?" Danika questioned, finding it hard to believe that this pervert could afford that much money.

"Ohoo~~ You wanna find out, hot stuff?" Chaz asked suggestively.

Danika immediately threw her knife utensil towards the wall near Chaz's head, scaring him. She gives him a cold glare with a tiger growl.

"Don't.Even.Try."

Crimson raises his eyebrow, impressed with her move. He quietly places his foot next to hers for him to touch, making her more tensed as she looks at him uncomfortably.

"Oh, okay, okay. So the "horseless friend-fucker" over here gets a little moolah and suddenly, it's worth wasting our time over?" Blitz said.

"Well, I'm the whole "package" if you know what I mean." Chaz said, pointing down to his crotch.

I.M.P is speechless.

"I got a big dick." he said confidently.

"But, what does any of this have to do with Moxxie?" Millie asked, annoyed.

Crimson sets down utensils and wipes his mouth with a napkin.

"There's going to be a ceremony tomorrow. Moxxie here is going to officially release his holdings in the organization. Then you can get back to ignoring your family to your heart's content." he said bitterly before drinking his red wine.

Millie stands up and glared.

"Maybe he wouldn't "ignore his family" if they didn't force him to rub elbows with a no-good, shark-toothed FUCK FACE!"

Chaz grins at Millie. Millie points a knife at his neck, threateningly.

"Ey, look. Everybody, relax. I know tensions have been high tonight. Say, why don't you stay here and get some rest? We'll have the ceremony tomorrow and then you will be free to leave. I have your rooms all prepared." Crimson suggested.

Millie is about to object when Moxxie immediately answered.

"Yes, sir."

"Mox?" Millie looked at him with concern.

I.M.P and Chaz begin to leave the room when Crimson stops Moxxie.

"A moment, Moxxie."

"Just give me a minute, Millie. I'll be there." Moxxie promised.

Millie looks on with worry as Moxxie steps back inside the dining room. Chaz tries to lean into Millie but jumps back when Millie growls and tries to bite him. Alessio closes the door behind them as they leave, leaving Moxxie alone with Crimson.

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