"Abs!" I rushed out of the property to find him gone. I was late, I should have stopped him the minute I saw him leaving. The crowd inside receded as the hours past midnight. Milla was already half sober by then, chasing me outside the property.

"ZJ, why are you so edgy?" she asked, staggering towards me.

"Milla, I'm sorry to say this," I turned, looking at her astonished face. "I don't think we can be together. I'm not the one for you."

Milla stared blankly for a second before she scoffed. "That's bullshit, of course you are. You and I have that spark, you know that."

"It's not that –"

"Then what is it?" she groaned in frustration. "You're afraid of Nick, is that what it is? To hell with his feelings, what about mine, ZJ? What about mine?! We both wanted each other, isn't that what matters the most?!"

Her voice grew loud and agitated. I looked around for any onlookers but the streets were quiet except for a few people a quarter mile away waiting for their cab ride home, and weren't paying attention to us.

"It's me, Milla. I'm the reason why I'm not the one for you," I clarified.

"What do you mean?"

"I caused this. Abs shouldn't have come. I shouldn't have let him come," I shook profusely. "I was trying to avoid this."

"Avoiding what? He brought this on his own, he crossed the line and it's not your fault."

"No, I mean all this," I cried, waving my hand in circles, gesturing at both of us. "I was avoiding this to happen."

Milla's angry face grew more perplexed and soon became tired.

"Abs' an adult, he'll get over it tomorrow. It's your feelings that you need look after. He was throwing you under the bus and I'm here saving you from it. He's toxic, ZJ. He's using you to get what he wants, can't you see? You just need to fuckin' wake up for once."

"No, that's not what I mean–"

"That's what exactly you mean. It's like you fuckin' worship the ground in which he walks. If you love him so much, why don't you just shag him and get over with it, for Christ sake!"

Then it suddenly dawned on her when she realised something unsettling through her words. She stopped shouting and everything fell silent. She stared at me in bewilderment.

"You're in love with him, aren't you?" she gasped, clasping her opened mouth with her both hands. I nodded slowly.

She lowered herself to the ground and sat by the pavement before holding her head in her hands. "Oh, my god. I'm such a selfish asshole. Why didn't I see this?"

"Milla, come on," I drew near. "I still love you but –"

"Oh shut up," she hissed. "Stop rubbing it in, you jerk!"

I held my tongue, watching her digesting the painful truth as she cried. Remorse swirling in my guts as I sat next to her while she was still had her head in her hands. From this point, I realised that I was the selfish one. Had I told her that I'm straight before she was coming out to me, I guess I could save both her and Abs.

She stood up abruptly half an hour later and went straight inside without even looking at me, leaving me alone in the summer's cold air.