She marched straight to the buffet table, grabbing a bottle of Lagavulin and a short glass while Abs rushed for her trying to apologise. But the G-Wagon guy was fast enough to halt him and pushed him aside. Abs was trying to talk his ways into it but failed. He seated by the corner of the hall looking abashed while I reached for Milla who was already inside the bedroom next to the dining hall.

I popped in to see if Milla was okay before closing the door behind me. I could see her silhouette in the dim lit room, sitting on the edge of a bed, with her head lolled downwards, nursing herself to the whiskey in the glass. I slowly approached and wasn't sure if it was safe for me to approach or touch her.

"Hi sweets," I began.

She looked up at me and smiled, as though whatever happened earlier with Abs was an illusion. She patted an empty spot next to her, gesturing for me to sit. I obliged, resting my bum on the covered mattress, asked her if she was okay and she nodded.

"I need to clear my head for a bit." She answered. "Away from retarded people out there that drives me mad."

"Do you need me to –"

"I'm in love with you, ZJ." She turned to me abruptly, fixing her intoxicated eyes at me. I gulped hard. "You make me feel realest and I don't want to lose you."

I couldn't respond to her confession, wasn't sure if she really meant it or the drinks did the talking. She lifted her fingers and stroked my face. I took a deep breath trying to register the entire events in my head. I let her fingers run through my hair as she pulled my head to hers and pressed her lustrous lips against mine. The tingling sensation rose like one of those ASMR effects, prickling but satisfying. The smell of her breath was a mixture of sweetness from the juice and bitter taste of alcohol, reminded me of Abs' once. I wasn't sure to be pleased or to be confused by this. She is beautiful and having her on the bed is a luck no one can describe, only an idiot would refuse. But this opportunity was not meant for me. I admit I fell for her sometimes but that feelings were just temporary bliss.

I tried to push her away to stop because it was not worth it, I don't want to hurt her feelings knowing that I can't love her back the same way. But her strong hands pushed me to the bed and pinned me down while her mouth was still kissing me. She straddled on top of me while moving her mouth down to my neck which I reluctantly obliged. My push subsided to an embrace as I let her do her work. She voraciously groped my chest to unbutton my shirt and move her mouth up to kiss me, pushing her tongue into my throat. My couple of inner chants, 'I am not gay' gradually became 'She wants me. I think I want her.'

Just as my clothes were undone, I noticed the door swung open, allowing light from the dining hall to enter. My sudden lesbian fantasy was cut short when I found Abs by the door leaf with a devastated look on his face.

"What the fuck?!" he roared, slamming his fist against the wall and left.

"Abs!" I called out but Milla was still on top of me, holding me down. She continued to suck me by the neck but I halted her, "Hold on, sweets. I need to... I need to see him."

Milla moaned and let me lose. I rushed out to the living lounge for Abs but to no avail because I was unable to determine where he went from this mass of people in the room. I glanced towards the pool and caught Nick by the patio as he darted a bitter look at me. I immediately turned away from his sight and buttoned back my shirt, cautioning myself to stay away from trouble until Milla came and hugged me from the back.

As I released the embrace and turned to face her, she went closer and kissed me again. I fell backwards against the lounge seat behind me before she climbed on top of me once again, devoured me completely. To this I surrendered. At the back of my mind, I knew Nick was watching this intensely from the patio and I am doomed.

My beef with him no longer revolving around Abs, it became personal.