Me: So I was thinking about pigs when this group of girls passed by talking about some people getting into a big fight, so I almost thought they said "pig fight" and I imagined France and Britain strangling each other with pig faces! XD

Person: Wait wait wait, why were you thinking of pigs in the first place?

Me: Well, I was thinking of if a pig can lift its leg like a dog scratching itself!

Person: Alfred. You need profesSIONAL HELP.