Ch 10: The Loopty Lipton Situation
(Intro starts, Ready to Play by Club Player)
This is a dream world, we're living in.
Junior is seen sitting on a couch in the IMP break room, polishing his guns.
Every move feels like a beginning.
Junior is then seen sitting in the meeting room with the others, sharpening his scythe with with a sharpening stone.
I can't believe my eyes.
Blitzo is standing before them with his hands behind his back.
I'm feeling so alive.
Blitzo slams an order form and a photo of the target on the table.
All the colors in overdrive.
Everyone looks at the photo and Junior smirks a bit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Game time, game time.
Junior stand up and twirls his scythe in his hands.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Aim high, aim high.
Millie and Moxie stand up, ready for action while Loona lazily gets up and rolls her eyes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Game time, game time.
Loona sends a look to Junior, sending a small smirk at him while Blitzo comes to Junior with a smile on his face.
Power up, here we go.
Junior lifts his scythe before swinging it, opening a portal to the mortal realm.
Are you ready to play?!
The group stands before a castle in London, England.
Are you ready to play?!
The group charges into the castle though a back door, leaving a two dead guards on the floor.
Get ready. The world's at your finger tips. There's nothing like this.
They make it to the master bedroom and see group of guards before them.
Are you ready to play?!
The guards point their weapons to Junior and the others, ready to kill them to defend their king/queen.
The future's today!
IMP gets ready to fight, Moxie pulling out a shot gun, Millie pulling out a mace, Blitzo pulling out a flintlock gun and dagger, and Loona growls and bares her fangs.
Get ready. The world's at your finger tips.
Junior smirks at the guards before pulling out one of his guns.
Are you ready to play?
Junior shoots the bullet at the screen in a flash of light.
(End of Intro)
Location: I.M.P. Headquarters
Time: 8:30 A.M.
Everyone was currently assembled in the meeting room of IMP with a tv across from the the table with a strange looking commercial coming on. It was about small angelic creatures that did the exact opposite of what they do, saving people from unnatural causes of death and not even getting paid for it. Plus their name was an anagram of the business and the name of their species.
"Oh, we. . Are the C.H.E.R.U.B.!" they sang before Blitzo shot the TV with his trusty flintlock pistol.
"Nice one, B!" Millie said as she sat next to Blitzo.
"Why are you shooting TVs again?" Junior asked as he sat next to a sleeping Loona.
"I'm bored and I like shooting at things I hate. Set me up another one, Mox." Blitzø said as Moxxie walked to the flaming tv, knocking it down as he put another one in its place.
He turned on the tv to the 666 News before changing the channel to a strange Betty Boop cartoon with her as a devil with a pitch fork and uncovered breasts except for her nipples as she danced up and down.
"Well this is...certainly amusing." Junior said as he stared at the cartoon's breasts, not expecting this to be a cartoon.
Moxxie changed the channel again to a commercial about an imp named Wally Wackforrd looking for employees in inventing thins and being very desperate.
"Bingo!" Blitzo siad before he shot the second tv.
"Well, that happened. Looks like you're out of TVs, Blitz." Junior said as she shrugged his shoulders. "Nothing else for you to do."
How wrong Junior would be as the group suddenly felt the building shake, causing Loona to wake up from her nap and see her cup of water knock over.
"Uh guys? You feel that?" She asked as she looked around.
"Yeah. What's going on? I thought hell didn't have earthquakes." Junior said as he stood up from the table.
That's because we don't." Moxxie said before Millie rushed to him and shook him by the shoulders.
"REMAIN CALM, MOXXIE! DON'T PANIC!" She shouted, even though she was the one panicking.
"I am calm." he said calmly before Loona shook him.
"STOP GETTING HYSTERICAL, FATTY!" Loona yelled at him before she slapped him into the far right wall.
"Loona!" Junior yelled out her, his girlfriend being hysterical more than anyone else.
Before anything else could be said, the wall Moxxie was slammed against was destroyed by a black sphere of sorts. It soon unraveled as someone came jumping in behind it! Junior had his weapons ready out and ready as he aimed his guns at the mysterious man.
"Ah! Well dressed Terminator!" he shouted as he pointed at Junior.
"A terminator?" Junior said before taking in his stange appearance, lowering his guns a bit.
This man was a fairly tall demon that primarily has a red color scheme, with a lighter red face, along with darker red horns and nose, which is prominently long, and a black handlebar mustache. He wears a black tophat with a neon green band on his head and a pair of acid green goggle with dark green swirls in the lenses and a black strap on his face. His outfit consists of a black jumpsuit with a bright green neck piece, along with a bright green curve shape on his chest and stomach that reaches the groin. He also wears red gloves on his hands, bright green boots, and a blood red cape. He can also be seen having black mechanical tentacles with red outlines extending out of his back, akin to Doctor Octopus.
"Well...you do give off the air of a cold hearted killer or protector and Schwarzenegger won Mr. Universe twice." Loona said, having known about the Terminator franchise and it's characters from some copied movies that were stolen from Earth and mass produced in copies. "Plus you are MY Mr. Universe."
"Wow...thanks." Junior said as he put his guns.
"Moment aside, you better have insurance, man." Blitzø said to the strange.
"Who are you and what do you want?!" Millie asked as she pulled out a black axe with a pentagram on it.
"My name is Loopty Goopty!" The demon said as he rushed over to them in a loopty loop. "Inventor of the loopty and goofy variety!"
"So Crazy rich guy in life?" Junior guess as he looked over Loopty again. "I've known a lot of people who were crazy rich in life and you just give off that same vibe."
"Yes, my dear boy! And as such, I must do eccentric SHIT!" Loopty said as he began waving his body around with a mix of...weird twerking.
And if that wasn't weird enough, Blitzø suddenly began smelling him near his ass and reeled back.
"Urgh! You reek!" Blitzø said as he plugged his nose!
"Well, you did just smell his ass." Junior said as Loona laughed at the true comment.
"Not that, he reeks of the human world! He must've just died." Blitzø said about Loopty!
"YEEESSS! Moments ago in fact." he said with a wide smile.
"And that's what brought you us?" Loona asked as she pulled out her phone. "Did you really have to blow up a wall to get in?"
"Yes, I did. Now shut up, my dear furry!" Loopty said as he put a hand in Loona's face, making her growl before Junior slapped it away.
"Hands off, buddy." Junior told him with a glare.
Loopty backed away from Junior, at least knowing when to back off from an angry and strong man.
"Anyway, I have come because I need to you kill this man!" Loopty said as he pulled out a picture to Blitzo, it was an old man with no hair, pudgy, and wearing small swirly glasses.
"Already have a target? Damn, I respect that! Such passion!" Blitzo said as he took the photo before walking to Loopty, shaking his hand. "Name's Blitz, Loopty. The "O" is silent."
"What "O?"" Loopty asked in confusion.
"Thanks." he said, so happy that he didn't screw up his name. "So why are we killing this dude?"
"What? You need a reason?" Loopty asked in surprise.
"Well, yes. If we were just mindless killers our ad would've said so." Junior said with his arms crossed.
"H-Help me." Moxxie groaned out from under the wall rubble.
"Oh, shit! Moxxie!" Junior said as he went over to help him.
He moved him out of the rocks and placed him in a chair, right next to Millie.
"Th-Thank you." Moxxie groaned out as Millie comforted him.
"No problem, sorry for not getting to you earlier." Junior said as he gave a gentle pat to Moxxie's back.
"Anyway, what I mean is what is the reason you want him dead? What did he do to make you hate him?" Blitzo clarified.
"He was...my business partner!" Loopty said with a dramatic pause.
"Business partner?" Junior asked with a raised, non-brow.
"Yes! It all began like this. I was originally a young man, My partner Lyle and I ran a technological empire called "Lyle-Loopty Robotics!" Earlier today, we were testing a new machine intended to stop or reverse the aging process!" Loopty said as he stared at the ceiling.
"Wait, wait, wait! You actually made something to STOP aging?! Do you have any idea of the ramifications that machine could cause?!" Junior asked as he glared at Loopty for his insult to the laws of life and death! "Something like this will never be allowed to remain when Clockwork hears of this!"
"I don't know who this "Clockwork" is-" Loopty said with a shrug!
"He's father time, damnit!" Junior shouted at him as I.M.P. looked at him in shock.
'Junior knows father time?!' they thought, not remembering that death and time have worked side by side since the beginning of existence.
"But back to the story! It could've saved all three of the world's trillionaires, but unfortunately we neglected to test the machine on a test subject instead of ourselves! Not a poor soul in sight! We were so sure of our own genius that we didn't notice we left the machine on forward into elderliness instead of backwards to youth! By the time we were rescued, it was too late for me," Loopty said as he gestured to himself, turning to I.M.P. "The process sent my heart into a state of hyper shock and I died from a heart attack while my associate lived! Now with the credit of the machine all his, that evil son of a bitch is going to take the empire we built together and make enough goddamn money to become the world's next trillionaire!"
Everyone stared at him for a moment as Loopty looked dramatically at the ceiling.
"So...you're an idiot." Junior said blandly.
At the comment, Loona suddenly laughed as she held her stomach while everyone else turned to Junior.
"Holy fuck! I thought I was gonna have to say it!" Loona said as she kept laughing.
"Excuse me?! I am not an idiot good sir! It was a simple mistake made out of arrogance, anyone could've made it!" Loopty said as he gestured to himself.
"Yeah but it's not exactly evil." Blitzo said as he tapped his chin and looked at Loopty.
"Well, it's evil to me!" Loopty said as he turned to Blitzo and pointed at him. "Now, if you want to be paid for your service, you will get you assassin asses up top and end that surviving son of a bitch to hell!"
"But Mr. Poopty-"
"LOOOOPTY." Loopty corrected as he glared at Blitzo for getting hs name wrong.
"Mr. Loopty, you do know that when we kill him, then you'll be stuck with him here in hell." Blitzo explained as he pointed to the floor.
"For all eternity." Junior added, thinking her was more mad than scientist.
"Oh I know and trust me." Loopty said as he her put his hands together evilly, summoning his tentacles with a rifle, a sawblade, a cannon, and a glock pistol pointed at them. "I am counting on it."
"Whoa, that's a lot of heat!" Moxxie said in shock while learning towards his wife, whispering to her. "And...it's kind of hot."
After wishing Loopty goodbye and preparing themselves for this new mission, the group used their grimoire to portal up to Earth. While Junior didn't change his clothes and used his human form, the rest of the group decided to finally use some form of disguise this time. That run in with Verosika and Loona yelling at them finally knocked some sense into their heads as the group was now on a double decker, tour bus in front of a mansion. Blitzo wore a pink clown wig, a gray overcoat, and pink body paint with hearts outlining his eyes, heart shapped sunglasses, and a sock puppet on his tail; all in all, he looked like a clown. Moxxie wore a top hat that had his horns sticking out, a fake mustache, an overcoat, and boots; he looked kinda like an old timey villain. And finally, Millie wore a long blonde wig with a straw hat, a long pink shirt, and gray pants; she looked like a southern hillbilly girl.
"I have to say, decent looks guys." Junior mumbled them as they sat on top of the tour bus.
"Thanks, Junior. Good to know we blend in now." Blitzo said as everyone on the bus looked towards their next stop on a tour, a large mansion surrounded by a gate.
"I'm sure." Junior said as the tour guide spoke.
"And if you will all look to your right, you will see we're are in front of the home of famous inventor, Lyle Lipton." The tour guide said with a smile as everyone looked to the mansion, including IMP.
The mansion looked normal enough but it didn't have many defenses or even security guards if Lipton was a famous inventor. It would be almost too easy to break in and kill him, literally and figuratively.
"This. . Seems too easy." Junior said with some caution.
"Who the fuck cares? Let's do it!" Blitzo said as he threw his sunglasses off, smirking at the mansion.
From there, Blitzo pulled out a his flintlock pistol, Moxxie pulled out a sniper rifle, and Millie pulled out two black machete before the 3 of them jumped off the bus and over the mansion gates!
"Let's kill this prick!" Millie said with a dark smile as they began moving towards the mansion while Junior was still on the tour bus.
'Are they seriously doing this now? And why is no one reacting to this?!' Junior thought in surprise.
"And as you can see, a group of stalkers are now about to attempt to murder Mr. Lipton. Such attempts are to be expected when your such a famous millionaire." the tour guide said with a smile as the other tourist "oooh" and took pictures.
'...Humanity really is getting dumber.' Junior thought with a blank face before he made himself invisible, jumping off the bus and catching up to his co-workers.
Looking through a window, the group of four saw the same old man from the photo, with no hair, pudgy, and wearing small swirly glasses, laying in bed on life support with a picture frame in his hands.
"Hmm." Junior said, getting a certain feeling about Lyle before he pulled out a special key, one with an hourglass as teeth.
"Junior, what The fuck is that for?" Blitzo asked as he stared at the key in confusion.
"A very special key to a one of a kind place." Junior said as he put the key into air and turned it, like an invisible door was there and opened it. "I'll be back, I gotta pay a visit to the hall of hourglasses."
(To know what I am refeering to, look up the episode "The Halls of Time" from The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy.)
Before the imps could ask what that was, he went inside and closed the door behind him. Junior then stood of a white corridor full of hourglasses with name tags in front of them. This was the realm of time, a special realm that Clockwork reserved only for himself and Grim Reapers to enter. Junior was the next in line for the mantle, so he was allowed entrance as well.
'Now to find, Lyle Lipton.' Junior thought as he looked to the side of the corridor, seeing an electric keypad on the wall. 'The directory should help.'
Typing in the name, 'Lyle Lipton,' Junior saw the screen loading the information before it ejected an electronic wristband for Junior with directions to Lyle's hourglass on it. Following the direction and grabbing a transport craft, Junior found the old man's hourglass in a matter of minutes before he took a close look inside it. Most of the sand was already at the bottom with the rest draining at a faster pace than the others around it.
'So he's already on dad's door. Looks like he has about 2 days left.' Junior thought as he looked over the hourglass. 'Guess it doesn't matter if we kill him or not, he's going to die and go to hell anyway.'
Scanning the hourglasses with the wristband, digitizing it and storing it, Junior left the hall of hourglasses and left through the same doorway he came in. Coming out of the doorway, Junior walked back to the mansion to see that his team was now inside with the 3 creatures from the commercial earlier. One was an anthropomorphic sheep with periwinkle skin and eyes, a white halo that hovers over his head and has wings on his back while wearing a white bow tie around his neck, a white shirt, and double buttoned pants. The second was an anthropomorphic sheep with yellow fur, along with a yellow halo and wings, purple pupils with red irises eyes, and wearing a yellow dress with a red bowtie. The last one was the most human though, not having fur or hooves for feet. He had light ginger hair permeant circle blush on his cheeks with large light purple eyes as his halo floated overhead. He wore overalls that were an orange with a mix of pinkish red with two silver buttons and a light baby yellow shirt with a white collar underneath. His eyebrows are a darker purple, but still light.
'C.H.E.R.U.B.? From that commercial?' Junior thought as he walked into the room.
After sensing a new person enter the room, the cherubs saw Junior and panicked as they recognized his magical presence through his disguise!
"L-L-L-Lord Reaper?!" they screamed in a panic.
"Correction, the next Lord Reaper." Junior said as he looked towards Lyle Lipton. "And I assumed they've been telling you that your life is worth living?"
"Yes, they did." Lyle said with a nod.
"And my associates were telling you to kill yourself as well." Junior said as he crossed his arms.
"Also yes." Lipton said with another nod before asking, "Is it true what they said, are you really the reaper? Are you death?"
"Once again, I am the next death, his son. But regardless, I am not going to take your life." Junior said as I.M.P. looked shocked while C.H.E.R.U.B. happy!
"What?!/Really?!" they said at the same time.
"But Junior, this is your job!" Blitzo said as he threw his hands at Junior.
"I know but some new information has come to light about Liption. Information that has convinced me to let him decide." Junior said as he looked to Lyle. "Lyle Lipton is going to listen to the both of you on how he should spend the remainder of his days and come to a decision then."
"What?! But that's basically what they were doing anyway!" Millie said as she pointed to C.H.E.R.U.B.
"Well yes that is but..." Junior said before sighing and showing his electronic wristband. "Look, no mortal needs to know when their time is but Lyle doesn't have much left anyway."
"I don't?" Lypton said in surprise.
"He's doesn't!?" everyone said in surprise.
"Yes, so after you all make your points, he will decide how he will spend the remainder of his days if he wishes to live." Junior said with a nod as he crossed his arms.
This does sound vaguely familiar to what the cherubs were suggesting but with the news that he had a finite amount of days left, what choice to Lyle have except to see what these two groups of creatures had to show him about the world he didn't already know.
"Hmm. I suppose we could do that." He said as he rubbed his chin, everyone looked at him.
"YAY!" The cherubs cheered in joy.
"NOOOO!" The imps cried in frustration.
The Cherubs flew to Junior and gave him a hug or a handshake to thank him for this chance.
"Thank you very much, Lord Reaper! From all of C.H.E.R.U.B., we'll make sure to show you and Lyle that our jobs is an important one. My name is Cletus." the human cherub said as he saluted to Junior.
"I'm Keenie." the yellow deer cherub said.
"And I-I'm Collin." the blue sheep said.
"No problem and just call me Junior." he said with a nod to them.
Before long, everyone had moved to a new location to show the old millionaire that life was or wasn't worth living. Now overseeing a forest and a lake on a hill, C.H.E.R.U.B. was showing Lyle the beauty of nature as Junior watched from the side.
"Take a gander, Mr. Lipton. The gift of nature is a beauty that all ages can enjoy." Cletus, said as he gestured to nature.
"If you took your life now, you'd miss all of this awe and wonder." Collin said to from his other side.
"They've got a point, I remember the first time I saw the human world's nature. It was breathtaking." Junior said with a reminiscent smile.
A throat clearing gained their attention as they turned to see the source. Junior grunted a bit as he saw his friends dressed in cat suits from that old musical, "Cats." Blitzo was dressed like Rum TumTugger, Millie was dressed like Victoria, and Moxxie was dressed as Mr. Mistoffelees.
"You really gonna listen to that little baby and the sheep he likes to fuck?" Blitzo asked with snide.
As the cherubs galled at Blitzo, Junior turned to the most rational of the group with one question
"Why?" he asked while shaking his head.
"We still need disguises, even if it's in a forest." Moxxie quickly said.
"That's not wha-" Junior wanted to say before Keenie cut him off.
"How dare you say something so vulgar?!" Keenie asked as Collin and Cletus looked mad.
"Kiss our asses, you prudes!" Millie said as she flipped them off with both hands!
As Junior saw Blitzo move towards Lyle, Junior felt a chill up his spine as he felt something that would result in a large amount of deaths about to happen.
"Well, looks like nature will involve me a lot in the future." Junior said before a lantern appeared by his side, dark black metal and eerie blue glow as chains surrounded it while floating in the air.
"What's that for?" Moxxie asked as Blitzo talked to Lyle.
"A soul lantern, it's used to store multiple souls when multiple death occur. My dad told me to always have one teleport to me when a string of natural deaths will occur." Junior said as he turned to the grassy field. "And it's already begun."
A group of fluffy squirrels and rabbits were minding their business before a pair of wolves sudden attacked to devour them!
"Oh my word!" Lyle said as he watched through binoculars, given to him by Blitzo!
"No no, stop watching!" Collin said as he tried to pull them away from Lyle.
"I can't! It's too horrifying!" Lyle said as a bear suddenly came and attacked the wolves, planning to kill them!
The sky grew dark with storm clouds as a large lumberjack came and cut down an oak tree, crushing the bear in a pool of blood! He laughed to the sky before a honey bee nest fell on his head and the bees began stinging him furiously, making him throw his chainsaw up in a panic as he tried to get the hive off of his head! Then, as a turn for the worse, his chainsaw came falling down and sliced his arms off! The man screamed in greater pain before a large antlered deer impaled the lumberjack from behind as the sky thundered! Once nature had ran it's course, several blue light came from all the animals and lumberjack before they flew into the soul lantern.
"And so, the beauty of nature is only matched by its horror." Junior said as he put the soul lantern away as Blitzo smirked to Lyle, who was in a state of shock and horror.
The Cherubs would need to refurbish their strategy if they hoped to save Lyle from suicide, as the first point had gone to I.M.P. as the married imps fist bumped.
The score was now 0 to 1 with I.M.P. in the lead as they took Lyle to another place in the human world, a city mall where children were gathered around a Christmas village set up with "Santa" sitting for kids to tell them what they want for Christmas.
"Oh? Look at those little urchins. Their happiness and innocence are left pure and unrestrained by the thoughts of adulthood or their middle class status. Such joy reminds me of my youth, when my family's celebrated Christmas." Lyle said as he looked to the cherubs. "Thank you for showing me this."
"Yeah, even if it's not the real Santa, he still brings joy to kids." Junior said as he stood next to Lyle's bed.
"Wait, Santa is real?" Lyle asked in shock.
"Yeah, my parents have met him before and I've snuck some glances at him during Christmas Eve." Junior said to him before hearing the children screaming in horror.
Looking up, the old man, reaper, and cherubs saw the children running off in a panic as the mall Santa was revealed to be an overgrown elf with a beard in a "cuties" shirt. On the side, Junior saw his friends dressed as elves and a reindeer. Most likely responsible for it.
"You know, if you hadn't told me Santa was real, I wouldn't be much different." Lyle said as the cherubs sighed in relief, they finally gained some ground with Lyle.
The score was now tied 1 to1 as C.H.E.R.U.B. had another place to show Lyle Lipton the value of life. It was late at night in the woods overseeing a patch of dirt with cars in manmade parking spots made of logs. Next to them was a wooden sign reading "Lover's Lookout, I guess...", telling them that this was a place of young lovers.
"Hmm." He hummed as he looked over the place, seeing it as a romantic setting but...it wouldn't be the place for Loona.
She wasn't that kind of woman.
'Nah. Loona wouldn't like it here...but she would probably like Mom's private nude beach.' Junior thought as Lyle looked around.
"This place REEKS of teenagers!" he said with a frown.
"This is lover's lookout, Mr. Lyle. We're here to remind you of the most pure joy in life." Cletus said as he flew up to Lyle Lipton.
"Money!" Lyle said before Junior slapped his head. "Ow!"
"Sorry, but no. No, it is not money." he said as he shook his head.
"He's right, money isn't the answer. It's love!" Collin said as he held his chest.
"Love? I've...never been in love before. I've always imagined it's quite nice." Lyle said as he leaned on his held together hands.
"Yeah, it is. I have someone I'm in love with and every moment with her is great." Junior said, sighing with a smile as he thought of Loona.
"Yeah but it ain't for everyone!" Blitzo screamed, dragging Junior out of his thoughts.
Turning to the shout, everyone saw that the imps were now dress as women. Well, Millie was just dressed like she was going on a fancy date while Blitzo and Moxxie were in drag.
'Oh my god, really?' Junior thought as he could barely look at Blitzø and Moxxie, never imagining they'd dress like women in his afterlife. 'I thought at least Moxxie would have more self respect than this!'
Blitzo pulled out a bullhorn and shouted at all the lovers in their cars, gesturing to an old and bedridden Lyle.
"LISTEN UP HORNY LOVERS! WHICH ONE OF YOU WOULD WANT TO LOVE AND FUCK THIS OLD MAN!?" he shouted.
His answer came in the sound of revving cars driving away at high speed as Lyle sulked in despair.
"You know, you shouldn't take this so hard. There's always someone out there for everyone, even someone as old as you." Junior said as he tried to cheer up Lyle whole C.H.E.R.U.B. and I.M.P. butt heads again.
"Oh you imps are such b-b-beasts! Must you be so cruel?" Collin asked as he was face to face with Blitzo.
"We have a job to do. And is it so wrong that we want some selfish, greedy, authoritarian capitalist to kneel over dead?!" Moxxie asked them as he stared down the cherubs.
Meanwhile, Junior looked at the hourglass in his wristband and it turns out, Lyle's hourglass was going faster now. Meaning his death was going to come sooner.
'Looks like this feud is making his time run out faster. If the next makes Lipton more depressed or stressed, he'll die soon.' Junior thought as he saw Blitzo spraying Moxxie with a...spray bottle of piss?
"Why the hell do you have that?" Junior asked as Blitzo turned to him.
"Because reasons!" he screamed at Junior.
After spraying Moxxie with a bit more piss, the last item on the list to help Lyle see the beauty in life was mankind's most classical and purest form of art. Opera! A lady in a valkyrie costume on a unicorn was the performer while a pianist was at the right side of the stage. As Junior and the cherubs were in the crowd with Lyle Lipton, all of them were dressed in formal wear for the evening while Lyle was in a simple bow tie, the imps were up in the rafters watching from above.
"So...how do we make this bad?" Millie asked as she stood up, not in a disguise this time.
"I don't think we can. Opera can reach just about any age and not seem terrible. It's a fact." Moxxie said as he stood up as well.
"Not unless we do something like this." Blitzo said, shaking his as in Moxxie's face before he grabbed the spot light to mess with the opera singer.
He moved it back and forth multiple times, forcing the singer to move back and forth to stay in the spot light as the crowd was confused by it. They thought it was a part of the show as she kept moving faster and faster between the spotlight before she finally stopped but it was unknown to everyone that the spotlight had come loss from all of Blitzo's messing with before it finally gave out and fell. The woman just kept singing until it crushed her and killed her.
Everyone in the crowd were shocked and horrified by this as the pianist kept playing as Junior held his chest.
'Damn, if I wasn't already dead, I would've had a heart attack.' Junior thought as he looked up and saw his friends in the rafters where the light fell, something the cherubs noticed too.
"Those damn imps!" Cletus said, having met his limit with the imps inferring with their job of saving Lyle!
As the cherubs went up to Blitzo and the others, Junior checked how much time Lyle had left and it was down to it's last three drops hanging.
"Oh shit." he said as C.H.E.R.U.B. argued with I.M.P.
That's it! I've had it! You three black sheep have messed with us enough!" Cletus said as he gestured to I.M.P.
"Why are you making this so difficult? He deserves to live!" Collin said, referring to Lyle.
"Well our job is to make sure he dies." Moxxie said as I.M.P. glared at the cherubs.
"Grrr! Enough!" Cletus said he, Collin, and Keenie summon holy arrow crossbows and aimed them at the imps. "We are saving the shitty old man's life, whether he wants it or not!"
"Well whether you like it or not, someone wants Lyle dead! He paid in advance and I already spent on this limited edition horse!" Blitzo said as he pulled out a green horse figure encrusted in jewels, having a marijuana leaf on it's butt cheek, and wearing sunglasses with a cap that said "Mare-ajuanna." "So he's gotta go!"
Growling at Blitzo, Keenie flew into Blitzo's face to give her a piece of his mind.
"You imps are such filthy, loathsome beasts! You are nothing but shit that the dead in hell stomp everyday! And now, you try to meddle in the lives of humans?! I don't know how the next Grim Reaper became associated with you but you do nothing but sully his reputation with you antics!" Keenie screamed at them!
Millie bares her fangs as she pulls Blitzo away from Keenie.
"Who we associate with is our's and Junior's business! Plus you and your group were meddling just the same! Now why don't shut you plushy trap, you judgmental, cotton candy, tick having BITCH?!" Millie screamed at the deer cherub, who reeled from the voice before starring blankly for a moment.
"FILTHY DEMON!" Keenie shouted as the tackled Millie to the rafter floor, starting a fist fight with her as the battle between C.H.E.R.U.B. and I.M.P. began.
The soul lantern appeared by Junior again as he pulled out his phone.
"Well, today has been a busy day for I.M.P. Loona's not gonna want to miss this." he said as he began recording the fight on video.
As Junior recorded the battle between the cherubs and the imps, taking multiple lives in the process, Lyle Lipton finally came to a conclusion as he saw Moxxie and Millie heatedly kissing while dangling from a rope and shooting sub machine guns as they were being chased them while shooting arrows at them.
"I think I understand now. LIFE is worth it because we only get one. and for that we must cherish it, for if beings such as these can see the value of a life like mine, being far beyond normal human understanding, then that means life really is something to have until the end comes naturally." Lyle said as he looked at his hands, clenching them shut. "Killing myself is not the answer when I have so much more in life to live for, even with an old body like mine."
'Well what do you know? He finally gets it.' Junior thought with a smile as he took a glance at Lyle's hourglass on the electric wristband, seeing the sand go much slower than before. 'Looks like he's gonna live a good bit after all.'
"Plus, I'm still rich. I can just use my money to help me enjoy life!" He said as he pulled out several bills from his underwear.
'But he's still going to hell.' Junior thought as he turned back to the fight.
The fighting continued for a good period of time before something unexpected happened that surprised everyone. The stage catwalk broke in the fight, tying up I.M.P. as it crashed down to the stage and flung the piano but not the pianist as he stepped away before the piano flung upward. It went flying into the audience before it came crashing down...on Lyle.
"Well well well, would you look at that?" Moxxie asked with a smug expression, the same with the rest of I.M.P. "YOU...did our job for us."
The cherubs gasped in horror as Collins was beginning to have a panic attack.
"OH! MY! GOD!" he screamed in shock, holding his hair before Keenie began slapping him.
"Get a hold of yourself! And do NOT USE THE LORD'S NAME IN VEIN!" she screamed in his face.
Turning to the imps, Cletus glared at them as he pointed at them.
"This isn't over, you imps!" he shouted as Keenie opened a portal to heaven, flying in with her dragging Collin before they were all suddenly pushed out of the portal! "What in Heaven?!"
Coming from the portal, 5 more cherubs came came flying out with their "hands" together and smiles on their faces. They were two bees, two sheep, and one deer.
"Oh yeah, sorry guys but I'm afraid you actions have resulted in the death of a human." the deer cherub, Deerie, said as she summoned a clipboard and glasses. "For this great sin, you three can't return to Heaven. No, sorry."
Junior could practically smell the condescending tone from her voice as he stared at the scene.
'Someone's a smug little cunt.' Junior thought as he ended the recording and putting his phone away.
"What?!" the trio said in shock!
"Hehe yeah. sorry." Deerie said with condescension, making a small file for her hooves before she made it vanish. "No no no."
"But there must be something we can do!" Collins said, begging the fellow cherub for an answer!
"Yeah, sorry but...no." Deerie said as she gestured to each of them with her hooves. "No. No. No."
"B-B-But we didn't mean to! We would never! It was them!" Keenie said as she pointed down to I.M.P., only to gasp in shock at them being gone!
'They must've snuck off.' Junior thought, getting up from his seat.
"Yeah, no. Sorry, guys. I really am but those are the rules!" Deerie said, still smiling down at them as she and her group turned to head back to heaven. "Bye!"
"No, wait please!" Cletus called out to her but was too late as the portal closed.
Before long the trio of cherubs began to cry, breaking down in sorrow at the news of being banished from heaving and now being fallen cherubs. Watching as they cried, Junior felt a bit bad for them as he watched them cry.
'It really wasn't their fault, it was just Lyle's time. No matter the consequences, they didn't deserve this.' he thought as Keenie noticed Junior was still there.
"LORD JUNIOR!" she cried as she flew to him, Collin and Cletus following her to tackled him in a surprise embrace. "YOU MUST HELP US, PLEASE! YOU SHOULD KNOW WE DIDN'T DO IT!"
"I know, I know." Junior said softly to them.
Returning the embrace of the cherubs, Junior thought of anything that he could do to help them before it came to him.
'Dad and Clockwork, they could help!' Junior thought as he summoned his scythe and opened a portal, making the cherubs look up to see what he was doing.
"I think I know who can help you guys." Junior said as he walked into the portal, still holding the cherubs.
The cherubs were confused as Junior came out the other side of the portal. Junior had arrived home to Castle Grimskull and released the cherubs from his embrace.
"Follow me and keep calm." Junior said to them as he snapped his fingers, changing into his normal form and attire.
The banished cherubs nodded to Junior as he walked ahead of them, flying behind him in silence while a few sniffles escaped their noses.
They walked through toe corridors of the castle before the group had reached the library of castle and saw Grim was readying a newspaper by the fire place until he noticed Junior's presence.
"Junior? What's with the unexpected visit?" Grim asked as he looked to Junior and noticed the trio of cherubs. "And why do ye have 3 cherbus with you?"
"It's a long story, dad." Junior said as the cherubs stopped behind him.
"Sum it up, son." Grim said as he closed the newspaper and set it aside.
-One Explanation Later-
"Mmm, I see." Grim said with a nod.
"Yeah, so I need to know if you can help them in any way. It wasn't their fault, they were just trying to do their jobs." Junior said as the cherubs were given drinks to help calm them down, sitting on another chair together.
Non-alcoholic drinks, even after telling them that alcohol wasn't a sin since the Bible says Jesus turned water in to wine.
'Drunkness is a sin, he says.' Junior thought, remembering Cletus' reply.
"Hmm. . Well. ..." Grim said as he tapped his skull.
"Well what?" Junior wondered.
"I may be able to do something but it won't be instant. It will take time." Grim said as he put his hands behind his back. "Clockwork can also be of some help but it still might take a while."
Junior sighed at this but he knew this would be the answer.
"Alright. Thanks Dad." Junior said with a nod before turning to the cherubs. "Can you at least let them stay here until you do find a way?"
"We wouldn't m-mind doing tasks for you in exchange, Lord Reaper. It's the least we could do." Collin said as he, Cletus, and Keenie bowed to Grim.
"Hmmm, I suppose that could work, as long as your mother is fine with it." Grim said with a nod to his son.
"As long as they don't interfere with the other castle staff." Mandy said, coming into the room. "I heard everything from the hallway, so you don't need to catch me up."
Turning towards Mandy, the cherubs felt a chill of fear run down their spines as they meet her red eyed gaze! They knew if they disobeyed Mandy, they would be dead or an even worse fate.
"Of course not, ma'am!" They said with a quick bow to her.
"Good." Mandy said with a nod to them.
Nodding to his mother, Junior waved goodbye to his parents and the cherubs as he opened his portal back to I.M.P.
"Well that's a lot of weight off my shoulders." Junior said as he took off the wristband, sending it back to the hourglass dimension.
As Junior exited the portal back to his work, he saw that things were a bit...messier that they were this morning.
"What the fuck?" He said aloud.
I.M.P. had two more large while in the walls, Moxxie was being crushed under one of two strange escalators, Loopty was back and apparently Lyle was here in a new demonic form. A robotic appearance with a round, spherical body with his head on top that includes a bowler hat, and two arms on which his gloves returned. He has mint-green skin, a large bushy light grey mustache, and a pair of red pince-nez goggles with dark red spirals on the lens. With his lower half being a ball and lacking legs, he gets around simply by rolling. His teeth resemble that of piano keys.
"Mr. Junior! So glad of you to join us!" Lyle said as he rolled over to him, shaking his hand. "We were just thanking your associates for reuniting us!"
"Uh. . Alright." Junior said, taking in Lyle's new demon form.
"But now, we face a new problem." Lyle said as he turned back to his friend and the imps, minus a still suffering Moxxie. "What exactly do two tenuous robotic inventors do now that we are in hell?"
Suddenly, another hole was smashed into the I.M.P. meeting room as a new imp landed in the floor.
"Did you say inventors?!" A tall imp asked with crimson skin, curled black and white horns, a pointed tail, white hair, black eyes with yellow sclera and a long curly mustache.
His clothes were a a top hat with a pale lavender gray stripe, a white shirt, gray vest, black bow tie, white pants, and black boots.
"Wally Wackford?!" Junior said in surprise, recognizing him as well from a commercial this morning.
"That I am! And I just so happen to be lookin' for creative new people to exploi-employ for my new company!" Wally said as he twirled his mustache.
"Will you people STOP fucking up my walls?!" Blitzo shouted before gesturing to Moxxie. "Moxxie's gonna have to fix all this shit, you know!"
The imp himself couldn't speak properly as he was still trapped under the rubble and had become a pale pink while frothing from the mouth.
"Uuuhhhh." He gurgled out before Junior quickly went to help him.
"Again with this?! Millie, you should've been the first to help him! He's your husband!" Junior said to her as she quickly came to help too.
"Oh, calm down. He'll be fine but if Mox kisses my ass any harder, he'll go right I up my ass." Blitzo said before returning to the holes in his office! "Satan's balls! First we deal with those mini angel chumps and now this shit?"
"That's your biggest concern?" Junior asked as he groaned.
"Well I guess you could say, this place is now "hole-y" grounds." Wally said before he laughed loudly from his own joke, being the only one to laugh at the joke.
"Get out." Blitzo said as he crossed his arms at him but Wally just kept laughing at his terrible joke.
""Hole-y!" I said "hole-y!" Ahahahaha!" Wally laughed as he rolled on the floor.
"I am serious man, GET THE FUCK OUT!" Blitzo screamed at Wally, finally stopping the laughter.
"You might want to take his advice." Junior said as he and Millie got Moxxie out from under the escalator.
"Right, right! I'll send you money later for the damages!" Wally said as he quickly left the room while grabbing Loopty and Lyle by their hands.
"You better!" Blitzo shouted as the left the building.
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