Matters of the Heart

It had been two hours since her conversation with her brother but Naira was still shaken by the intensity of it. She felt breathless. She felt ill equipped to handle such hatred. Maybe her normal mind with all her memories intact could've taken it but her current state was so fragile, she wasn't used to being spoken to with such anger. To make matters worse he seemed to have such venom in his heart for Kartik that it broke her heart.

She kept looking towards her window hoping that Kartik would come & make her feel better like always. But it wasn't dark yet & she supposed it wasn't possible for him to turn up in broad daylight. She needed to know the reason now. When she had told Naksh that she wanted to meet her "husband" she expected him to protest but what she didn't expect was a verbal lashing. He had said such horrible things about Kartik & their relationship that she had been reduced to tears. Seeing her state, the rest of the family had stepped in to stop him from saying anything further.

She heard a knock on the door, it was Keerti. Naira stared at her unsure of what to expect. She simply came and sat with Naira. Naira hoped Keerti had something to say about Kartik,he was her brother after all. Instead Keerti spoke of Naira's brother, Naksh. She was trying to justify his reaction. It confused Naira further. After a while, Naira couldn't hold it in any longer, she needed some answers.
"Kya aap bhi bhai ki tarah Kartik se nafrat karthi hai?"
Keerti looked pained at the question. Then slowly she shook her head. No, she didn't hate Kartik. She had said horrible things to him in her angst but it was impossible for her to hate him.
"Kyun?" Naira prodded.
Keerti seemed to contemplate how much to reveal. Then said "kyun ki isse pehle Kabhi usne shikayat ka mauka nahi diya"
"Toh uski ye pehli galthi thi aur itni badi saza?" asked Naira.
Keerti looked like she had been slapped. She opened her mouth probably to justify her actions then closed it again. She seemed so stricken that Naira realized she had touched a raw nerve with her. The guilt she had been trying to suppress had come to the forefront. Naira watched as Keerti went through an array of emotions eventually deciding to leave.

Kartik was waiting impatiently for the sun to go down so he could go into Naira's room unseen. He was getting tired of the hide and seek he was playing with the family. He was ready to face them and take Naira back with him. He had always been ready but knew Naira was unprepared now though, he felt more confident.  

He found her sitting on her bed staring aimlessly. "Chalo mere saat" he said with a certain firmness that she didn't question instead she simply got ready to go with him to wherever he wanted to take her. They navigated their way down the ladder & into his car parked far away from the gate. She didn't question him as they drove off into the night. Eventually, he parked the car  in front of  a lake with a view so stunning that she was nearly distracted. She briefly wondered if he were going to propose to her but then caught herself realizing they had gone way past that stage.

"Naira, I love you" She would've jumped with joy but here she knew it was a loaded statement that came with a lot of history to it.
" aur ye yaad rakhna ki meine jo bhi kiya tumhareliye kiya" . She believed it to be true.
Then Kartik narrated what had transpired in the hospital. Starting from the accidents & being left alone to manage 3 adults and 2 babies in the hospital. His confusion, distress & heartbreak. His decision that had turned their lives into the mess it was now. He was sobbing unabashedly by the end of it, repeatedly seeking her forgiveness & feeling unworthy of her love.

She felt her own heart go from numb to unimaginable pain as she processed everything he had said yet all she wanted to do was hug him. So she simply hugged him her own emotions making it hard to console him yet giving him the warmth & comfort he deserved.

She understood that what he did wasn't right but how had everybody been so cruel to him when he had suffered so much. If her pain hearing about losing their child was so unbearable despite not remembering anything she couldn't even imagine what he had been going through. Maybe when she remembered everything she'd feel differently but right now she simply wanted to take away his pain.

After a long while when he had calmed down he stared up at her, hopeful & his heart leapt to on finding her staring back at him with compassion and dare he believe it, love.  She may not remember but she was still his Naira. She was still the same person somewhere behind the cobwebs her memories had formed. If he loved her with his everything, she loved him too. He can't be mistaken about her feelings for him.  On an impulse he took her face in his palms and kissed her cheek. She blushed furiously. That felt new. He stared at her, it was his Naira but it wasn't too. He didn't know what to do so he just kept gazing at her making her face flush some more. He wondered how she'd react if he kissed her on her lips instead? That should be interesting to watch, a faint smile appeared on his face at his thoughts.

In exactly two days, Naira informed Naksh and the family that she intended to move in with Kartik, her husband. She had thought about it a lot, even though the idea seemed a little too bold considering her mind was still uncooperative when it came to remembering her past, her heart was sure she wanted to be with Kartik. She found it difficult to imagine, her as a married woman being a part of another family but she just didn't want to stay apart from him. It was almost like her heart refused to listen. So that was that. Naksh tried to tell her what happened but she simply told him, she knew everything and was making this choice. He wasn't happy. But Naira couldn't bring herself to completely empathize with him because it was not he who lost everything. It was Kartik; and her, she thought eventually. Yes, she had lost a lot too even though she still found it hard to reconcile the person who lost everything with her, it was her loss just as much. Nobody seemed to care about their loss as a couple. This forced separation was just as unfair. Whether she had forgiven him then or not, it was between them, nobody else had the right to separate them like they were love birds in a cage not breathing, feeling human beings.

Kartik prepared everybody at home for Naira's arrival. He didn't know what to expect. He felt like he was getting into an arranged marriage with a girl he knew but only just. Not nearly enough. He decided to win her over again with all his heart. He would be the best husband ever so much so that she would never feel uncomfortable. Whenever she remembered everything too, she would know he tried his best. Well, that was easy for him, loving her with all his heart came easy for him. Even if it hurt his heart sometimes when she didn't remember them, he could take it if it meant she would be happy because that's all that mattered to him.

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