Chapter 18: Rush (Tristan's POV)

"And why did you call it quits?" I questioned, glancing at her every few seconds. 

"Because he doesn't trust me or you. And my heart isn't in the relationship anyway." 

"So... basically because of me?" 

"I didn't say that." 

"Yeah, but I did." 

She turned to look at me. "It's not because of you." 

"It's obviously because of me. He doesn't like that I'm in your life again. He doesn't want you to see me outside of work, right? I don't think he has any right to ask you to quit and he knows that. So he probably didn't ask you that. But I'm right, aren't I?" 

She didn't answer and kept her eyes glued to the window. 

I reached her apartment building and parked the car, turning it off. But neither of us stepped out. "Are you okay?" I asked, grabbed her hand, and placed her keys in her palm. 

"I'm confused," she frowned, turning to me. 

"I didn't love him, I barely liked him. Then why am I so upset? What am I even upset about?" She waved her hand. "Forget it. I'm leaving. Bye." 

I grabbed her hand, pulling her back and keeping her in the car. "Can I come with you?" 

"Come with me, where?" Her nose scrunched up. 

"To your apartment." 

She looked at me for a few beats and then sighed, turning her body to face mine. "I don't understand you. At all. You're very sweet and nice one day and then the next day, you act like a total dick. Not just the next day, actually. Even after a few hours." 

I opened my mouth to argue but stopped at the challenging look that she was giving me. "Okay, I'm sorry about that. I was... pissed off." 

"At me?" 

I nodded sheepishly. 

"Why? What did I do?" 

I scoffed, "For starters, you didn't kiss me." 

"I didn't want to," she argued, leaning forward. 

"You're such a liar." 

"I know I'm not lying and I don't have to prove it to you. I'm heading up." 

"Then I'm coming with you." 

She gave me a blank look. "Shouldn't you head to your place?" 

"I'm not in a rush. I have all the time in the world when it comes to you," I mumbled the last bit, climbing out of the car. 

She followed, locking the car behind her. "Well, I am. In a rush." 

"To?" 

"To get away from you. Bye, Tristan. Goodnight." She started walking inside, mumbling a 'hi' to the security guard, and then walked to the elevators, pressing the button. She got lucky and didn't have to wait. 

The doors were closing but I made it just in time, sticking my arm through and then squeezing in. 

She huffed, staring at me as I stood beside her. 

"Jesus, you walk fast in heels." 

"I kick with them too, want to see?" 

"No." 

She leaned against the wall, looking at me. "What do you want? Why are you here?" 

I shrugged, leaning on the wall right beside her. "I wasn't in a rush to leave but I am in a rush to be with you." 

I think she swallowed down her words and just stared at me. "You'll get hurt all over again." She straightened up, staring at the doors instead of me. 

"Why would I get hurt?" I asked, glancing at the elevator count. 

Why are we going so slow? 

I grabbed her arm, turning her to look at me. "Why would you hurt me again?" 

"It's not like I want to! But I always end up in circumstances where I have to choose. It's not just with you. When I was in college, I had to choose between friends and my classes, then I had to choose between more friends, classes, and my job. And eventually, I ended up with no friends and just my job, okay? I only have Alyssa and that was while I was at Bloomfield. I'm lucky that she hasn't stopped talking to me since I left like all the other people from there. But in a little while, I'm probably going to have to choose between Boston and New York. Again!" she rambled, throwing my hand off her arm. 

The elevator shook a little and then went completely dark, the lights dimming out. 

"Fantastic," she said sarcastically, pulling out her phone. She quickly dialed the security. "Anthony, the elevator is stuck. Did the power go out?" She frowned in confusion. "Some kids? Okay, okay. How long will it be?" She rolled her eyes, pinching her nose bridge. "Okay, thanks." She hung up. 

"What's wrong?" 

"Some kids cut the power supply while messing around. It'll take a while but he said the emergency lights should flick on any minute." 

A few seconds later, the edges of the ceiling lit up red. I looked back at her. 

"What?" she questioned. 

"What do you mean in a while you'll have to choose between Boston and New York?" 

She sighed and sat down on the floor, her legs splayed out straight in front of her. "My parents are back there. I don't like being so far from them." 

"But... you wanted to stay in Boston. You've always wanted to be in Boston." I sat beside her, stretching my legs out. 

"I have but... I don't know what I thought. I thought they could come here too, you know. If not when I moved then maybe a few years later. But it has been a few years. And they don't want to move. They like New York, they like the way they are there. So, if they don't come, I guess I have to go. Right?" 

I frowned, "Not really. If you want to stay, you should stay. You might want to, but you shouldn't give up your life for theirs. I'm sure all they want is for you to be happy and New York didn't make you happy. It's... it's never made you happy." 

"But I miss them," she sighed, staring at her heels. 

"Then make a plan. Around the same time every year, go see them. No exceptions. No matter what happens, go see them at that time. And have them do the same." 

She turned to look at me, frowning a little. "You seem awfully invested in my life problems." 

"First of all, this isn't a problem, it's just how you feel. And I'm invested because I don't—" I cut myself short. 

"You don't?" She scooted a little closer. 

"I don't want to lose you. Again." I looked ahead at the doors. "And that won't change, even if you aren't with me. Even if you're just my assistant or just my friend, I don't care. I just want you to stay." I turned to face her. "Don't you think it's weird that we've both been here the whole time but we never saw each other? We worked only ten minutes away from each other and still, we never ran into each other. I've met Mr. Kit so many times but I never ran into you." 

"You could have. At the conference in California," she replied. 

"You were there?" I asked, surprised. 

She nodded. 

"I didn't see you." 

She bit down on her bottom lip. "I did," she whispered. 

I stared at her, waiting for her to explain. 

"I thought I did. I didn't get close enough to figure it out. I just saw you from afar at the office building there. We were in a different room and I walked right past you. I thought it looked like you but I didn't know for sure so I just ignored it. I didn't think about it." She chuckled dryly, leaning her head back. 

"Do you think you should have?" I inquired, watching her. 

"I don't know. I don't know what I would have done if I ran into you or spoke to you. I really don't know." She lowered her head, covering her face with her hands and groaning into her palms. 

I pulled her hands down and put my hand on her forehead, pushing it back and lifting her head till it rested against the wall. 

She scooted even closer to me and hugged my arm, putting her head on my shoulder. 

"Emma." 

"Hmm?" 

"When you got drunk that night," I cleared my throat. "You told me you missed me. Did you really?" 

She didn't answer and kept her head still. 

"Did you really miss me or were you too busy with your life?" I turned to look at her. 

She lifted her head, pouting a little. "Why would I be too busy? I missed you. I missed you all the time. I missed you when I was studying in class, I missed you when I was sitting with my friends, I missed you when I was writing an exam, I missed you when I was in my dorm room, I missed you when I was running around looking for an internship and spilling coffee on myself—" 

I let out a chuckle, watching her. 

"I missed you," she nodded softly. "I meant it." 

"You missed me, but you didn't kiss me. You want me, but you don't even stay close to me for too long." 

"I'm close to you right now." 

"Because we're literally stuck in an elevator. You always end up close to me in elevators, whether it be because the power cut out or because of frat boys," I smirked. 

"Shut up." She scoffed, pushing at my arm. 

"That was fun," I snickered.

"Why was that fun? I was being pushed everywhere." 

"No, you were pushed into me. Of course, it was fun." 

"You need to stop talking," she scoffed, starting to stand up. 

I grabbed her arm and pulled her back down but she stumbled, her heels slipping and fell into my lap, sitting sideways. 

She huffed, "Tristan!" She pushed off of me but I grabbed her waist, holding her down. 

"Don't move around so much, you'll regret it. Just sit still." 

Or I'm likely to get a boner.

"Like this?" she deadpanned. 

I nodded. "Exactly like this. It feels nice. Like old times, doesn't it?" 

She stared at me. "You're losing it." 

"I'm finding you though, so it works," I smiled. 

She rolled her eyes, resting her elbow on my shoulder. "I'm gone already. Let bygones be bygones, my friend. Find another girl." 

I looked at her in shock. "Never! I'd die before I do that," I scoffed. 

She chuckled softly, looking at me. "You really like me, don't you?" 

I love her, but I know saying that might just push her further away and make this even harder. "Hmm," I nodded, tilting my head back and looking at her. "A lot. I like you a lot."

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Chapter 18

I want them to kiss really bad. should I or should we wait??

next chapter: losing