Angus stared at me, unsure if he heard me correctly. "Wh-what?" he asked.

"It's late," I said as calmly as I could. It should have been here and over with by now and it wasn't. It just never showed up. I was sick and miserable all day every day with no relief. And this had never happened before. I waited for him to say something. 

"Uh...okay," he said staring at the foot of the bed. I could almost see his mind racing. "Okay, how long?"

"Two weeks," I admitted. "This is the start of the third." Angus merely nodded and went back to staring at nothing. "I think that's why I've been so sick lately."

"Wh-what do ya' mean, if they're late ya' feel....sick?" 

"Well, it's prolonged PMS," I explained. "My body is acting like it should come any day but it's not showing up. So I'm going through my usual symptoms like...I've been sick, and I've been crying a lot, and I ate a good amount of Scottish chocolate." I tried to smile but Angus wasn't in the right state of mind to smile. "And a few days makes no difference here or there but...it's never been two weeks late before."

I thought Angus was in some kind of trance. He just stared in front of him like something was going to happen and he didn't want to miss it. He started counting on his fingers. "How long ago was our holiday?"

I started counting myself when I realised what he was asking. "I'm not pregnant," I said hugging him. 

"An' how do you know that?" he asked. I brushed away some hair that had fallen in his face. 

"I just...do somehow," I said. I wasn't a doctor by any means. Some women could easily tell when they were pregnant before symptoms even started. Aside from a late cycle I hadn't had any odd or out of place symptoms, just my normal ones going on longer than usual. And I had this gut feeling that it was something else. 

Angus gently squeezed my hand. "I think..." He swallowed. "I think I'd feel a lot better if you took a test or somethin'..." he said. "Jus'...makin' sure, ya' know?"

I smiled. "Alright."

**********

The next morning I hauled myself out of bed and went to the store. There were hardly any people there and for that I was grateful. I grabbed a small box and looked it over. 

Two hours?

Another box said one hour. What I wouldn't give for a test to take three minutes. The two hour test was a bit cheaper so I bought that one, hoping "cheaper" didn't mean "shitty". But it was a popular brand so they must be doing something right.

When I got home Angus was waiting on the couch and stood up as soon as he saw me. "Find one?" he asked. I held the little box up. He put his hands in his pockets and shifted his weight from foot to foot. "You uh...I...I can stay here," he said. "You can...if ya' want..."

His skin looked a bit whiter than normal. He smiled anyway. His fidgeting started making me nervous so after a quick kiss on the cheek I headed for the bathroom.

**********

We sat there on the couch together holding hands. If, after two hours the colour changed, it was positive. If it stayed the same, negative. Angus had gotten up to check a few times. "It hasn't been two hours yet," I reminded him. 

"I know, I know...." he said coming back. "But it's gotta be close, right?" With steaming cups of tea we waited in silence. Angus would wring his hands together and stare at the floor before taking my hand again and squeezing it. I knew I couldn't be pregnant. I just couldn't be. Not with all these PMS symptoms, it had to be late for a different reason. Still, a part of me began to worry. 

What do I do if I am? I don't want to be a mother. And what does Angus want? He likes children, he'd want to have them, wouldn't he? And what if I said no? What if...I didn't want to think that far ahead yet. The test wasn't conclusive yet, the two hours weren't up. I didn't want to think about making a drastic decision I wouldn't wish on any woman. I didn't want to think about Angus being upset with me and leaving. I didn't want to think about Wanda Popplewell giving me a sour look and telling me how she told me so. 

The tea I had been drinking started to take effect. I gently released my hand from Angus' and stood up. "Has it been two hours?" Angus asked

"No, I just have to take a piss," I said and he relaxed. 

**********

Well. That was it then. 

I opened the bathroom door and closed it after me. Angus sat there expectantly on the couch, his hands clasped together. I stood in front of him and he finally looked at me. "What is it?"

I sighed. "I'm not pregnant." He stared up at me, the statement registering. 

"What?" I sat on the couch next to him and leaned against him, holding on to his arm. "You...checked it? An' it didn't change colour?"

"Actually...my cycle just started," I said. While I was in there I got a long anticipated surprise. Two weeks late, only to finally show up. The test hadn't changed colour at all either and I suspected it never would. After cleaning up I went to tell Angus the news. And now that I had, I waited for his reaction. He was awfully quiet.

"Oh," was all he said. I laced my fingers with his and rested my head on his shoulder. He stared at the empty space in front of him. "So...that's it then..."

"I guess so," I said. We looked at each other. I leaned in to give him a small kiss. He finally smiled. "Are you disappointed?"

"Me? No, no..." he said and looked at the floor. "No, I'm fine. What about you?"

I shrugged. "I'm fine too."

We sat there a few minutes. The clock ticked and the wind blew. "So....business as usual?"

"Yeah," I smiled. "Guess it was just...really late." It was difficult to read his expression. "What...what would we have done if I had been?" He looked deep into my eyes.

"We'd have a lot of talkin' to do," he said. "Maybe we still do."

It was quiet again. 

"What would you have hoped for?" I asked. Angus looked at me a minute before thinking. 

"Well...ya' know..." He shrugged. "A daughter would have been nice," he said. I squeezed his hand. "With little bows an' eyes like her mother's...." I smiled shyly. "Someone I can teach to play guitar, or..." He shrugged again. "I dunno. Doesn't matter, I guess."

"Yes it does," I said. "Of course it matters." I took a deep, shaky breath. "Maybe I don't want kids. But maybe you do. Wouldn't you want someone who wants what you want?"

Angus pulled me up to sit on his lap. "I really wouldn't mind havin' kids, ya' know," he said. "I like 'em, ya' know, they keep you on your feet. But the truth is you an' I are already basically kids ourselves." He patted my knee. "I mean, we hosted a pretend weddin' in the front yard, me best man was a stuffed animal, you had your little wings...an' you an' I tell each other stories an' we draw pictures for each other...an' remember last year when you jumped out at me from the laundry hamper?" I started laughing when he tickled my ribs. "Scared me half to death. You an' I could have kids anytime you wanted but if you don't, we'll jus' be kids instead."

I stared down at him. "You really don't mind?" He kissed my nose.

"No. Not at all." 

I really really loved this man.

"An' what I really want is my little lover," he said pulling me in for a long kiss. And I mean long. I didn't know either of us could hold a breath that long. When he finally pulled away his eyes glanced down at my lips before looking back at me. Right as I was about to kiss him again, the phone rang. "Who could this be...." Angus reached toward the table and picked it up. "Hello?"

"Ang?" I could just hear a tiny voice on the other end of the line. 

"Yeah, hi, Mal," Angus said shrugging at me. "What is it?"

"You're not busy?"

We looked at each other. "Uh...no, I guess not," Angus said as I snickered. "Why?"

"Mum jus' called, she wants us home," Malcolm said. "Both of us."

Angus furrowed his brow. "Why?"

There was a slight pause on the other end. "Dad's jus' died."