I dropped the grocery bags on the kitchen table, almost knocking over the boxes of puzzles. Angus was outside paying for the cab. I was thankful to be so far away from Wanda Popplewell who no doubt would notice Angus paying for everything. I opened the fridge to put the romaine lettuce away when I saw a huge green bottle of champagne. 

Won't do me any good. 

I put away the rest of the food and grabbed the tea bags I packed. The house didn't have any tea but they did have a kettle so I put it on. Angus came back inside and grabbed the box of cornflakes. "We can see more of the city late if ya' want," he said. "Or tomorrow."

"Maybe tomorrow," I said remembering the cab. "Maybe we should stick with one cab lift a day."

"Why?" he asked pouring the milk. 

"Isn't it expensive?" I asked. "We're not made of money."

"No, but we can afford to take a little trip," he said sitting at the table. He picked up one of the boxes and examined it. "I really don't mind, love."

I minded...

Leaving it at that I poured myself a cup of tea and skipped breakfast. Angus had poured the puzzle pieces all over the table and sorted through them. "I'm assumin' all the pieces are in here..."

I sat across from him and rifled through the pile for edge pieces. Every once in a while I'd find one and set it aside. The box claimed there were one thousand pieces. It would end up being a picture of a swan on a pond. One thousand pieces would surely take up the whole surface of the table. Without warning I was taken back to my childhood, staying at my maternal grandmother's house back when my grandfather was still alive. Old hymns playing on the radio, sunlight casting rainbows on the wall from the prism hanging in the window...and a giant puzzle on the kitchen table that my grandfather had started. He loved puzzles. 

And I loved him. 

Things had really changed since then.

I choked back the lump in my throat, hoping Angus didn't notice. Together we managed to complete half of the frame of the puzzle and by then it was already one in the afternoon. "Jesus," Angus said looking at the clock. "Already time for lunch."

I settled on a small banana for lunch while Angus made himself a sandwich. We sat outside on the deck to eat since it was such a nice spring day out, albeit chilly. I snuggled into Ang's jumper that I stole and pulled the collar over my nose. I looked at Angus, waiting for him to notice me.

He snorted, bits of lettuce flying out of his mouth. "Don't do that to me, love," he said with his mouth full. I started laughing and pulled the collar down. After cleaning himself off a bit he chuckled and continued eating. "Tryin' to kill me or somethin'?"

"It's cold out here," I said shivering. The sunshine helped but when a cloud covered it up or when a light breeze brushed past it got super cold. 

"Well," Angus said picking up a tomato that had dropped on his lap. "We can always go for a swim." He nodded towards the hot tub. 

**********

I stared at myself in the cracked mirror wondering when the fuck I got so ugly. Too skinny, obviously. Curves that didn't count and rather bony shoulders. I never realised how much hair was on my arms. Did my mother have this much hair? Or my sister? Some on the tops of my feet too. I shaved my legs the other day but it grows at sonic speed. Was I destined to be the human gorilla? Some kind of carnival freak show? Everybody grew hair on their bodies but was this much normal? Why didn't the women on the telly have hair like this? Or the magazines? Or even on the streets? I covered myself as best I could with my shawl and arms. Just watch. I'd go out there and Angus would call the whole thing off just at the sight of me. 

Not to mention the various moles and freckles dotting my skin. I never saw anything like that either. People always had clear, bare skin. No scars or anything. Not even stretchmarks. I sighed. Might as well get the humiliation over with. I opened the bathroom door and walked into the living room to see Angus McKinnon propping one foot on the couch, arms akimbo, wearing the tiniest cozzie napkin I'd ever seen in my life. He beamed at me.

"An' it still fits," he said proudly. "Course I haven't changed much since I got it..." He shook his long hair so it covered his face and smiled at me. "How's it look?"

I burst out in a fit of giggles. 

Forgetting about how I looked for a second I ran up to hug him, burying my face in his shoulder. "See? Can't keep the ladies off me when I wear it."

I started laughing again.

We opened the backdoor and I pulled my shawl closer around myself. Angus had the hot tub already all set up. He inspected it and grimaced when he scooped out a couple of dead bugs. "Stepped away for a second...eugh..." He looked up at me. "Cold?"

"Y-yeah," I shivered, hoping that was a good enough excuse. I didn't realise how obvious the sunlight would make my imperfections. I started thinking about other things too like if I put on enough deodorant this morning. If my nails were too long. If my rat's nest of a mane was combed enough. I slipped my shawl off and lay it down on the chair, stepping inside. 

It was like slipping into a warm bath. I let the water cover me up to my neck, still holding my arms across my body like a shield. Angus stepped inside after me and sighed. "Ya' know, we need one of these at our house," he said. "The yard should be big enough."

"We need a whole pool," I said as Angus fiddled with the buttons. He pressed one and jets started humming, the water around us bubbling. I laughed as they tickled my arms. "One pool and two hot tubs."

"Or two pools an' one hot tub," Angus said. He sat down on the built-in seat and crossed his legs. "Or two pools an' two hot tubs." 

"A water park?"

"Maybe," he said. Slowly my body grew accustomed to the hot water and relaxed. Not too hot, just right. Angus hadn't thrown me out yet so I assumed he hadn't taken notice of my less than ethereal appearance. 

Or maybe he didn't care.

Did people just not care? Your loved ones? Did they see all the faults and imperfections and not care? I know whenever Angus had a patch of drool on his cheek in the mornings or when his hair was a mess I certainly didn't care. But then again, men were allowed to look a little haggard. It was rugged and handsome. 

Body hair, according to my family, didn't belong on a woman.

Then why do we have it??

I snapped out of my thinking when I saw Angus lowering himself in the water so only his eyes were above it. Like a hippopotamus. He came closer to me, a smirk in his eyes. Right as he grabbed me around the middle he stood upright, coughing and water dripping everywhere. "Ah, fuck," he muttered wiping his face. I struggled to get free and he only held me tighter. "Got water up me nose."

"That's what you get, Young," I said attempting to break free. Ignoring the water up his nose for a minute he kissed my cheek from behind and I stopped struggling. 

"An' that's what you get, love," he said letting me go. I crossed my arms in a pout, hoping he'd get the message that he was a sneaky trickster and wasn't getting any kisses back. 

But then he showed me all his teeth and I grudgingly swam over and sat next to him, leaning against him. Giving him one tiny little kiss on the cheek, I nuzzled into his wet hair. 

**********

After showering, drying off, and dinner, I picked out the softest jumper I owned and a pair of trakkies and took my blanket with me out to the living room. Angus was rifling through the cupboard and kept examining covers of VHS tapes. "Find anything?" I asked. 

"Well....nothin' of interest," he said tossing back another one. "I found this, though." He laughed, showing me one of the tapes. There was a woman on the cover in heels and fishnets. Under her spread legs was a giant letter X in crimson. 

"Oh, Angus Young..." I said shaking my head. "That gets a thumbs down." He laughed and put it back. 

"What, ya' don't wanna see a dirty film?" he asked. "Ya' never know, I might be in it."

"I've already seen you in real life," I said. "A measly little film wouldn't cut it."

I could have sworn I saw him turn a little pink under that smile. After rummaging through a few more tapes he finally pulled one out that looked decent. "Now this looks like my kinda film," he said. This cover had another woman on it in heels and a large shirt. 

"Flashdance?" I asked. "What's it about?" Angus flipped the tape over and inspected it for any synopsis and came up short. 

"Dunno..." He shrugged and handed it to me. "We can try it out. If it's shit we can do other things." He grinned at me patted me a little low on the back. 

It was my turn to pink.

I slipped the movie in the VCR and we took to the couch, snuggling up in our blankets. Angus had made some hot tea for us and I took my cup gratefully. 

The plot of the film seemed to be about a young woman who worked as an exotic dancer at night and wanted to train to be a ballerina. A clever plot, I was excited to watch the rest. But as the film dragged on, I narrowed my eyes. 

This was not the movie I was expecting...

Angus had gotten up a few times for a tea refill or a bathroom break. I sat there watching this film, unable to put my finger on exactly why I wasn't enjoying it. I'm no film critic, what merit did my opinion have?

Angus would make a comment every so often and I'd end up laughing which made the experience better. He asked why I never danced like that for him and I said he'd end up having to call an ambulance if I tried. I told him he should dance like that at one of his concerts and he said it wasn't sleazy or silly enough for him. Not to mention the incredulous look he'd get from Malcolm after the show. "Who the fuck taught you that?" he'd ask.

When the movie finally finished after a series of random arguments and tone shifts we sat there on the couch watching the credits roll. "What did you think?" he asked. 

"I think it was a good idea," I said honestly. "But it wasn't executed very well."

Angus nodded, staring at the screen. "It was alright," he said. "Best character in the whole thing was that dog."

"Oh, definitely. That dog is going places." We sat there, not wanting to move from our comfortable position. Angus mindlessly ran his fingers through my hair while I nuzzled his neck. Everyone knows the proper thing to do after watching a VHS tape is to get up and rewind it. But after several cups of tea and you're fat and tired, getting up is the last thing on your mind. I reached my hand toward the VCR and the telly and stretched my fingers as far as they would go and I still couldn't reach them. 

"Nice try," Angus said yawning. He didn't make any attempt. After the credits finished the screen went black, our sleepy faces staring back at us. "We'll get up in a few minutes..."