"Ya' sure ya' want to?" he asked rubbing his thumb over my knuckles. "We can always wait."

I was worried if we waited too long it wouldn't happen. It would never be the right time, or something would come up and postpone it further. One of us would change our minds. I wanted to be absolutely certain I was ready. We talked it over for hours. Angus said he was ready, but perfectly okay with whatever I decided. 

I knew deep down, this was something Angus really wanted. And I didn't want to disappoint him. 

I had disappointed him enough.

**********

My brother left with his wife to go spend the weekend with some "friends". 

None of them get along.

Their dog Sapphire came to spend three days with us. Twenty eight kilograms of pure dog. Lightning speed. Unmatched strength. Two kittens, one point eight kilograms each. 

Scared to death.

Two baby gates hung in the doorways. Nothing between the beast and the prey but cheap, plastic bars. 

My parents. 

Me. The animal hater.

Ivy braving the massive dog by creeping her way across the floor. Magnolia trembling under the couch, refusing to come out. A total of eighteen lives between them. Half of them gone. 

Sapphire at hurricane speed, crushing everything in her path. The kittens scramble. They scatter. Mum and Dad argue. They fight.

The gates swing shut. Sapphire whines and paces. The kittens peer around the corner. Sapphire barks and the kittens lose two more lives. Dad in a fit of rage takes it out on the dog. Yells. Screams. Calls her stupid. Sapphire trots toward Mum with her tail between her legs. Mum comforts her while Dad shakes his fist. 

I'm taken back to childhood, cowering in fear behind the couch as my father loses his temper for the fifth time that day. None of them remember. They think I'm lying.

I comfort the kittens. Ivy balances on the rim of the litter box. It tips. She falls over, everything crashing. Litter, food, and water consume the bottom of the cage. Mum is going crazy. Sapphire wants nothing to do with Dad and paces while Mum and I clean up. I stay silent.

Am I still the animal hater?

Mum locks Sapphire away. Ivy paces and cries for her mother. I am but a poor substitute. Magnolia is nowhere to be seen. 

Day One.

Ivy covered in eggshells. Mum rubbing her tired eyes. Suggests my brother get a second dog to occupy the first. 

My grandmother comes over for a visit. Frail, unsteady. Tomato soup gone awry. Magnolia stays locked in her cage, fearing ending up as food. Ivy nearly meeting that fate. Sapphire's barks loud enough to wake the dead, fur on end. Another life lost.

Day Two.

Sapphire's sharp teeth digging into my skin. She doesn't let up and I turn away from her, folding my body in on itself. She gives up. I'm hurt.

The plane is late. My brother is exhausted. The kittens locked away in a spare room, meowing to be released. Sapphire chases them back in. 

Finally she goes home.

Day Three

**********

I choked back my emotions and gently squeezed Angus' hand. I could see him looking at me but I stared at the footpath under us. My thoughts kept repeating over and over and over. 

Angus is nothing like your father. He's nothing like any of them.

I loved that man.

We stood at the entrance to the building, staring at the white canine cutout in the window surrounded by white cutout hearts. Visiting was hard enough. But to actually go through with it was even harder. Plenty of beautiful dogs inside hoping so badly to be chosen. Putting on their best smiles, tongues hanging out, tails wagging. Looking their best for you so you'll pick them. And either you do, or you don't. And they lay down in their cages waiting for the next human. Days going by without getting picked. Without going home. Slowly losing hope.

I had to stop thinking before I burst out crying. Today we were going to pick out our dog. Our family was expanding. We'd pick them out, and in a few days we'd come by to pick them up. Angus had been talking about dogs the past few days and I knew we'd have to sit down and have a long talk.

Angus was the perfect father for a dog. I knew they'd be okay with us. 

"Ready?" Angus asked. I took a deep breath.

"Yeah."

We went inside expecting to see tons of various dogs. Instead we found pet supplies. "Hi, come on in!" a woman with silver hair said waving at us. "You here for supplies or do you want to see the dogs?"

I couldn't speak. Something was blocking my throat. Angus spoke up. "We were kinda hopin' to see the dogs, we might get one." The woman's eyes lit up. 

"Oh, good! Follow me, I'll show you who's available."

In the back room were several cages. Plenty of them were empty but a decent amount of them weren't. Just as I suspected, there were plenty of hopeful faces and wagging tails. A few of them were puppies and most of them were adult dogs. My eyes were drawn to the older dogs. 

"These dogs against this wall are all available," the woman said. "And against this wall are some dogs that have been adopted already." She pointed at the orange cards that were tagged on the bars of the cages. "Feel free to look around and if you've decided you can come get me or another employee." We thanked her and she left us to observe them. 

Angus nudged me. "See anyone?" I looked around the room, looking for the oldest geezer in the place. This was our chance to give a better life to an old pooch who had given up hope of being taken. My eyes finally landed on a cage near the back with no orange tag. The dog inside was brown with a greying face. It was lying down, head on its paw. Angus went to go look at the other dogs and I knelt down to the cage with the old one. 

No mistake about it. It was a boy.

My heart skipped a beat. I love male dogs. I love the boys. 

He lifted his head to sniff my hand, tail dragging across the bottom of the cage. The dogs surrounding him would yip and bark and I gave them attention too. Long fur to comb my fingers through and short fur to muss up. They were all so beautiful and I wanted them all. But this old man was my old man. 

I looked around for Angus and found him petting what was, quite possibly, the most gorgeous hound dog I'd ever seen in my life. A beagle possibly, another male. It was a young and sprightly thing, licking Angus' fingers and attempting to lick his face through the bars. Angus laughed and I'll never forget that laugh as long as I live. 

My old man, whose information label above his cage called him a mutt, looked at me with sad eyes and lay his head back down. He saw how energetic and cute that beagle was. How much Angus liked him, how he had stolen both of our hearts in seconds. He sighed. Might as well give up now, he wasn't getting picked today. 

I reached my hand through the bars and gently stroked his fur. He looked up at me with sad, watery eyes, not wanting to get his hopes up. For all he knew, this was a parting scratch. Saying goodbye to him one last time before tagging an orange card on the beagle's cage. 

He was such a good boy.

They were both good boys.

I stood up from the floor and walked over to Angus who was still petting the beagle. I knelt down next to him and the beagle's tail wagged even faster. "He likes me," Angus said with the biggest smile on his face. The beagle barked and my heart melted at the sound. I absolutely adored hound dogs. Their barking was sheer music and poetry. I was fortunate to have a neighbour back at my parents' house who owned a beautiful basset hound named Ollie. 

I still miss him. 

"I like him too," I said.

"You do?" Ang's eyes lit up. "Ya' want him?"

I sat quietly for a minute, letting the beagle sniff and bite my fingers. "Can we talk for a minute?" I asked. 

"Y-yeah, sure," Angus said and we both stood up and left the room. The woman with the silver hair wasn't there but she would be soon. And I had to speak my mind first. "What is it?"

"I know it would be a lot of work," I said. "And I know it'd be harder on us and I know my health hasn't been very good lately." Angus stuck his hands in his pockets and listened. "What would you say to getting two dogs?"

His eyes sparkled for a split second before he hid it away. "Well....I certainly wouldn't mind..." he said trying to hold back a smile. "But...what do you think?" He shifted his weight from foot to foot. "I mean...like you said it's a lot of work an' I wanna make sure we're both okay with that."

"Yeah, I know."

"Did you find another dog in there?" I twiddled my hands together and nodded. "Which one?" I grabbed Angus' hand and led him back inside. I escorted him to the cage with the greying mutt and we knelt down to see him. He lifted his head just slightly, his hopes a little higher. Angus stuck his hand through the bars and my old man sniffed him and sneezed. "Oi, cheers, mate," Angus said wiping his hand on his jeans. "Ya' want this one?" I nodded.

"And yours."

"Mine? The beagle?" I nodded again. Angus smiled as we watched the mutt stand up with his arthritic legs and hips and turn around, settling back down again. "I know you like the old ones."

"I love old dogs," I said. "And I know how much you like that puppy." 

"So...we're getting both?" I tackled him in a hug.

**********

"Two?" the woman asked. 

"Yeah, we decided on one for each of us," Angus said. The woman smiled and we followed her back to the room with the dogs. She grabbed a couple orange tags from the pocket on her apron and handed them to us. 

"You can tag the ones you want," she said. "It's our custom here to let the adopters do the honours." Angus and I took them and I walked right over to my old man and wrapped the tie around his cage. He looked up at me, his tail wagging. He stuck his nose through the bars and licked my hand, hope swelling in his heart. I heard the beagle bark from across the room as Angus tagged his cage. The cage rumbled and groaned as the beagle jumped around and pushed his weight against the sides. "Oh, I was hoping someone would take him," the woman said as she saw who I picked. "He's been here for so long and we refuse to euthanise him, hoping someone would adopt him. And he's great too." The beagle barked again. "He was brought in as a stray someone found rummaging in a rubbish bin. He's been checked for fleas and anything else he might have gotten. Everyone here has been vaccinated for parvo and rabies and whatever else. Neutered too."

"Damn, sure makes it easier on us," Angus said. "When do we pick 'em up?"

"Next week," the woman said. "It's best you bring you own leashes and a car you can drive them home in, especially for him." She gestured at my old man. Angus and I looked at each other. 

We weren't exactly what you'd call "drivers". 

"You can come in next Tuesday, if that's alright with you," she said getting together some forms. "I'll just need you to sign a few things..."