ISABELLA

CHAPTER EIGHT - "DIFFERENCES"

OCTOBER 26TH, FRIDAY

Come to a party, she said.

It would be fun, she said.

I stood by the living room wall, glancing away as a pair of drunk couple stumbled next to me, giggling and passionately devouring each other's faces. I shivered, walking away from the pair while still trying to stick to the walls.

Fucking hell.

I sighed, quickly contemplating my existence and how it had come to this.

"Isabella!"

I turned around, facing Ro who was running at me, still in her pastel pink, oversized sweatshirt like always. She came to a halt in front of me, smiling brighter than the neon pink hair tie in her hair.

"Hi." She beamed.

I looked around, confused. "Hi?"

Ro laughed, her eyes shimmering with golden flakes of honey in the sun. She cleared her throat, clapping her hands together, dramatically taking in a deep breath before she spoke. "So there's this party next Friday."

I glanced around again, unsure of what to answer. "Okay?"

"And I want you to go to it!" She exclaimed.

I blinked, taking in the exclamation that she had made, running the sentence in my head over and over again. Ro continued to look at me, the joyous smile still on her face as her eyes stared into mine.

"Uh, mind if I ask why?"

She shrugged. "Well, we've been friends ever since the year began-" Literally two months ago. "-and I haven't seen you go to one party yet," Ro stated, her hands behind her back as she continued to grin. "So I want you to go to one!"

I let in a sharp inhale of breath, staring at the girl in front of me with uncertainty.

"Please?" She begged.

I looked at her, still sceptical.

"Come on, Isabella, you only live once!" She urged, but then suddenly sunk down and let out a noise of distaste, muttering with disgust as she pulled a face. "Oh god, did I really just say that? Ugh."

She cleared her throat again, looking back up at me.

"What I meant to say, it will be super, super fun, and you should definitely come." I raised my brows at her, to which she nodded enthusiastically. She grinned."There's gonna be a pool and a hot tub."

Hm. Interesting choice to say the least.

Ro's eyes suddenly widened, and I could hear the panic in her voice as she spoke, "I mean, it's fine if you don't want to, though!" She gestured with her hands, flailing them over the place as she continued, "If you really don't want to go, I don't want to, like, force you into anything."

I hesitated at her sudden exclamation, glancing around quickly.

"I just wanted to, like, give back to you in some way after yesterday, you know?" She murmured, looking down at the floor and kicking at something with her sneakers. "You helped me sort out my, well, personal stuff, and I think you should come," She paused. "With me."

I looked at her.

She gave me a hopeful smile, pleading, "Please?"

I sighed.

"Fine, but no promises," I crossed my arms. "My mom isn't big on parties."

Mom was, in fact, huge on parties.

I was fucked.

Ro cheered joyfully, wrapping me into a tight hug and letting go quickly, the smile on her face getting brighter and happier by the second.

"I'll expect to see you tonight, then!" She exclaimed, completely ignoring my latter statement and skipping away. She turned around quickly, still smiling.

"I'll pick you up at your house at seven!" She shouted, not stating who was hosting the said party, or where the said party was being hosted.

I shook my head, ignoring the blooming and warm feeling in my chest.

My eardrums were practically blighted by the loud, blasting electronic music. The suffocating scent of liquor and bad decisions caused me to swallow, my throat burning slightly for reasons that I couldn't even be sure of.

I grasped at the red solo cup that had been shoved into my hands the moment I stepped into the house, taking a quick sip of the liquid inside before grimacing at the taste.

Good god, people actually drink this?

I shuffled over to the kitchen, wanting to alcohol the beer into a nearby sink and find some water.

Then, I caught sight of a girl dressed in a pink, oversized sweatshirt, standing next to a boy in a red hoodie. Her cheeks were flushed with red as she laughed at something that I couldn't hear over the music, punching his shoulder in a playful manner.

A taller figure wearing a purple sweater next to them tugged on the arm of a laughing, clearly intoxicated, shorter boy. The taller boy shook his head, saying something that I couldn't make out.

As the shorter boy, still grabbed by the arm, cheered and raised both his arms up into the air, Ro and Nathan beamed at each other, both laughing.

I looked down at the cup in my hands.

I winced at the taste, shutting my eyes as the bitter substance burned the inside of my mouth. I swallowed, and it flowed down my throat, igniting and leaving a blazing trail after it.

Nope, still tastes like shit.

She smiled at him, practically beaming at the boy.

I had another cup.

He smiled back.

And another.

Quietly wondering why I had agreed to this, I refilled my cup again and opened the sliding white door that led to the back yard, stepping out and relishing in the smell of something that didn't smell like teenage mistakes.

"Oh come on, don't be this way!" I heard a drunk girl whine, her high-pitched voice piercing through my eardrums. She continued, words still shrill as she slurred, "Come on, come on, come on!"

Okay, well, won't you look at the time? I think it's time to go.

I made a move to step back into the house. But then, a familiar voice caught my attention, causing me to turn back.

"Fucking hell," Myles cursed under his breath, glancing away from the girl. In the dim light from the floor lights, I could see her light, blue eyes delirious with alcohol. The girl tugged on his arm, her straight, blonde hair thrown over her shoulder as she pulled harder.

After another moment of silence, the girl huffed and walked back into the house, murmuring about something about how the boy dressed in black was an asshole and that it wasn't anything like in the movies.

She smiled drunkenly at me and mumbled something along the lines of, "Oh my god, I am like, in love with your hair," before pushing past and stumbling into the house.

I heard Myles sigh, sinking down onto the single step that separated the platform deck from the grassy backyard.

For some reason, instead of doing the sensible thing of just walking away from him, calling an uber and leaving the party entirely, I sat down next to him.

Myles raised his head and turned towards me, raising one of his brows in surprise.

I shrugged and he turned away, ignoring my existence.

He reached into the pocket of his jacket, and I expected him to pull out a box of cigarettes but instead, he pulled out a strip of gum. I watched in confusion as he unwrapped the gum, taking off the silver wrapping and putting it in his mouth, wondering why he just had sticks of chewing gum lying around.

I mean, I thought teenage nicotine obsession was part of the package deal with it came to high school bad boy stereotypes, but apparently, I stand corrected.

I guess Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum is just the new hip, cool and life-crippling addiction to have now.

Myles turned towards me, catching my gaze. "What?"

I blinked, realising that I had been completely staring and gawking at the boy in front of me. I shuffled around in my sitting spot, suddenly not knowing what to do with my arms as I glanced down on the floor.

"Uh, I didn't expect you to pull out gum?"

He had a small but teasing smirk on his lips, "What did you expect, then?"

"Uh- I don't know, hell, cigarettes?" I questioned, gesturing with my hands as I spoke. "Doesn't that, like, go with the whole thing you have going on?" I motioned at his black outfit, my hand moving up and down.

I continued, "You know, the 'bad boy' of the school or something?"

Myles raised one of his brows at me. He sighed, putting his hands back into his pockets.

"Yes, because I also just so happen to own a black motorcycle and five pairs of black leather jackets," He mocked, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He glanced over at me, chewing on his gum as I looked at him for the answer to my question. "Used to. Gotta keep my mouth busy somehow now."

I raised my brows at him, trying to decipher if there was indeed an intentional sexual innuendo in his words, or if I was just being stupid.

He let out an airy laugh, looking away again. "I've got to say, you're not as boring as I thought you were."

"And you're not as much of an asshole as I thought you were," I said, not even processing the words before they flew out.

Suddenly, the door opened behind us, causing both our heads to whip backwards and stare directly at it.

A large group of loud, laughing students stumbled out. I watched a small group of girls giggle at something a boy had said about the pool as they walked out, followed by many more as they all gathered into the backyard.

I heard Myles curse under his breath, quietly complaining about the newfound noise and ruckus that the group of students had bought into the back yard.

"So, uh, rough night?" I asked over the noise and chattering, letting all remaining sense of logic floating over my head and fuzzing out into oblivion. I pointed to the white door, causing Myles to roll his eyes in annoyance before letting out an irritated, sharp noise from under his breath.

The annoyance was replaced by a noise of agreement.

I stared at him, remembering the scene that had played out with the brunette, followed by one with the blonde only moments ago, and quietly wondered for the reasons as to why the boy that sat next to me was so incredibly appealing to girls.

"You've got like, a specific type of girl or something?" I questioned, wondering what the differences between the blonde and the brunette were, as they were both quite beautiful in their own separate ways.

I vomited a little into my mouth at my own thoughts.

Myles stayed quiet.

He ran his fingers through his dark hair, slightly tugging at the locks in distress and hesitation as he remained silent, not answering the question that I had thought was just a casual one.

He looked up, his eyes drifting from my face to the red solo cup that stood next to him on the floor, as if debating to himself about something.

Then, as he opened his mouth, his eyes drifted to something else behind me.

Rather, someone else.

The sharp stare he had immediately dissolved, replaced by a soft, tender glimmer that danced from the dim light of the floor. His lips that were wrapped in a sly smirk was now raised in an adoring, gentle smile, and I could practically hear his breathing hitch as his eyes continued to trail towards the moving body.

I turned to the mysterious person, confused at who had caused such a different reaction from the boy.

And as soon as I landed my eyes on the figure, I froze.

Oh.

I stared at the person, my eyes widening at the sudden realization of his hesitation and quietness at my question.

Oh.

"I...I guess you could say that, " Myles answered, his voice barely over a whisper as his gaze continued to linger on the figure.

He glanced towards me, a humourless, seeing that my eyes were also taped to the person that he had been staring at. A self-pitying laugh escaped from between his lips.

He sighed, lolling his head down and burying his head into his hands. He murmured, "Fuck."

He didn't look like his usual self  - Well, as usual as I know him as anyway. 

It was sad, really. 

He wasn't giving the cold shoulder to anyone within a kilometre radius. He wasn't making the girls swoon with his sharp features, and he just wasn't upholding his appearance and impression as the untouchable, brooding bad boy.

He just looked like a boy. 

A desperate, lonely boy staring hopelessly at something he know he could never get. 

It was familiar, too familiar, so I kept quiet.

I handed him the red cup.

At first, Myles didn't react, and just stared at me in confusion as to why I had even handed him anything. His fingers hovered above the red plastic, one of his brows raised when he noticed that I didn't pull my hand back.

I looked into his eyes, tilting my head towards one direction.

Myles peered over towards the same direction, and I watched as his lips parted in surprise.

In that exact direction, there stood a girl dressed in a pink, oversized sweatshirt. Her cheeks were flushed with red, but not because of the drinks that everyone else held in their hands, but because of the boy that stood next to her.

The boy in a red hoodie.

They looked good.

Together.

Myles turned back to me.

I nodded.

He spat out his piece of gum into the wrapping paper before grabbing the cup, downing the entire cup in one go without hesitation, not wincing in disgust like I did just moments before. His Adam's apple bobbed with his swallows, finishing the entirety of the contents inside the red cup.

He licked his lips, wiping them with the back of his hand.

Strands of his black dark fell gracefully in front of his deep blue eyes as he tilted his head down, his lips glistening from the dim light. He placed the cup on the steps next to him, his nimble fingers retreated and placed themselves by the sharp edge of his chiselled jaw.

And quietly, to myself, I acknowledged the fact that he was, indeed, gorgeous.

But I didn't find myself wanting to bury my fingers into his dark locks. I didn't find myself longing for my hands to be intertwined with his. I didn't find myself resisting the urge of leaning in and planting feathery kisses on his features.

I didn't find her in him.

And for a moment, even though I had known the fact for years and years, it petrified me.

"Did you hear? She likes girls!"

The feeling of complete and utter helplessness as I stared down at my fingers.

"Don't come close to me!"

The feeling of confusion and uncertainty that ran through my blood.

"Go away!"

The feeling of self-hatred, anger, and realisation all blended into one.

"Stay away from me!"

It all rushed back, engulfing my senses and thoughts as they stabbed and grasped at me. I gasped out for air, swallowing the harsh rock that lodged itself in my throat as the loud music was unable to cover the words that haunted me.

"You're disgusting!"

I hid it, being well-trained for holding up Montone expressions.

I mean, how could I not be?

"Don't touch me!"

I laughed.

Myles looked over, confused at my sudden outburst of hysteria.

I shrugged, and he only stared harder, searching for an explanation.

"This is so pathetic," I said, still smiling. My mind had long refused to process my words before letting them out, and they all streamed out like a broken tap. I laughed again, not fully understanding why.

"Isn't it?" I asked him, watching the most loved person in my life dance happily with someone else in the dim lights.

I watched as her pink sweatshirt harmonized with his red hoodie. I watched as they both laughed and twirled around, bouncing to the music. I watched as they danced from side to side, happy smiles on their faces.

I watched, doing nothing, fear of ruining everything.

Maybe they were right, and maybe, that was the way it was supposed to be. The girl and the boy, singing and dancing with beautiful smiles on both their faces.

Myles stayed quiet, but I knew his answer.

I smiled, listening to the music in the background.

I felt worthless.

I grabbed the cup again.