ISABELLA

CHAPTER SEVEN - "LISTENING AND SMILING"

OCTOBER 24TH, WEDNESDAY

"BANG!"

I sat up, rubbing my eyes and yawning. I glanced around the room, and when nothing unusual appeared in my field of vision, I collapsed back into my bed, thinking that the noise was just my imaginary sleep paralysis demon.

"BANG!"

I jumped up from my bed, frightened by the sudden and loud noise.

That was very much real.

I blinked away the remaining, small amount of sleepiness that I had retained in my body as my eyes frantically searched around the room for the source of the sound, my pulse racing and my fingers trembling. At the while, Bruno screeched like the demon spawn he is.

I turned to the alarm clock that was by my nightstand, reading the bright red numbers and letters displayed on it.

"02:09 A.M."

"BANG!"

Standing up from my bed, I walked towards the window. Catching a glance of the dark figure outside, my eyes immediately widened in shock as I placed both my hands on the bottom ledge, raising the piece of glass up. The cool, evening air hit my skin as I took a deep breath in before confronting the familiar figure.

Holy shit.

I leaned out of the window slightly as Ro smiled brightly and waved at me, causing my heart to skip a beat and my stomach to do flips as it was filled to the brim with butterflies, all of the drowsiness that I had been experiencing previously completely dissolving from my system.

"Bruno, help," I whispered to the white dog still sitting at the foot of my bed. He blinked his big, black eyes at me before yawning and resting his head back onto the mattress, immediately falling asleep.

So much for emotional support, I guess.

She reached out one of her hands and gestured for me to come over, to which I replied by pointing my index finger up and down, and mouthing the words, "Right now?"

Nodding her head, she continued to gesture for me to go to her, in a more drastic, exaggerated fashion.

Okay, well, lovely.

I pointed up one finger, telling her to wait for a few moments before pulling my window shut quietly, careful as to not wake up mom. Trying not to scream at the pure ridiculousness of the situation, I dug my nails into my palm.

Ignoring the warm feeling in my chest, and the increase in the speed in which my heart was beating at, I quickly threw on a green jacket, a pair of converse and sprinted downstairs as quietly as I could manage.

I was greeted by her, with a lovely grin glued to her lips. "Hey."

This girl was absolutely bad shit insane.

"It's two in the morning," I whispered. Ro nodded at the sentence as if there was absolutely nothing wrong with showing up at a friend's house at two in the morning, without notice. "And you were outside my house, throwing pebbles at my window? Not to mention it's a school night!"

She nodded again, the smile still lingering on her lips. I shook my head, a million thoughts running through my head as panic finally struck its blow. "Why are you here? Why didn't you just text me beforehand? What if you broke my window-"

"You're rambling," She interrupted, making my cheeks turn warm as I bit my bottom lip and glanced down at the ground, "I'll answer your questions later, but right now-" She paused, a mischievous smirk replacing her smile. "Let's go."

I looked up, my lips agape and my brows furrowed in confusion, but before I could question about where we were going at two in the morning, her hand was on my wrist, and she was dragging me along the road outside my house.

Staring at her hand, which was firmly grasped around my wrist, all I could hear at that moment was my heartbeat in my ears, roaring as loud as drums. My cheeks were as hot as a raging, bright flame as my heart sang at the mere sight of what was happening in front of me.

Okay, well, this is how I die.

"Uh," I stood in front of the glowing, neon sign of the store, my head tilted in confusion. Ro turned to look at me, her arms crossed in front of her chest, and that same, lovely grin still on her face. "Why are we standing in front of a convenience store?"

She walked into the store, pushing the glass doors open. I followed her in, still confused as to why we were at such a place at two in the morning. I rubbed my hands together, trying to gather some heat during the cold evening.

Maybe going out at two in the morning with only my pyjamas and a random jacket on wasn't such a good idea after all.

"Hm," She said, causing me to look in the direction she was staring at, which was the check-out counter. She raised her brows in surprise, "There's no one here."

I took my bottom lip between my teeth, putting my hands into the pockets of my green jacket. "I guess they didn't expect anyone to come at two in the morning, but like, isn't it still very irresponsible to just leave a store open without anyone looking over it?"

She shrugged, walking around the store and looking at random items, taking them off the shelves and staring at them before putting them back onto the shelves. Glancing at the various items, a sudden thought entered my mind as my head snapped towards Ro, "Um, we're not here to steal stuff, are we?"

She turned to me, and winked, holding up her index finger up to her lips.

Thump.

I could feel my heart in my throat, about to jump out. My stomach was in a knot, and my hands were already getting clammy, but the thoughts about the endless possible ways of us getting caught made my anxiety kick into overdrive, and pulled me out of the lovesick trance.

Oh god, emotions, ew.

Ro, seeing the panicked expression on my face, laughed and teased, "I'm kidding! Jeez, you really took that seriously, huh?"

My cheeks were dusted with a shade of pink as I gazed down at the floor, lowering my head in embarrassment. She chuckled at my reaction, pulling out a black, leather wallet before saying, "See? I came prepared, no stealing out of convenience stores today."

Walking towards the slushy machine, she grabbed a white cup from the tall tower of stacked, plastic cups, placing it of them under the Cherry flavoured dispenser and pulling down the lever. A bright, red treat spilt from the machine and into the cup.

"What flavour do you want?" She asked, grabbing another cup from the stack, turning to look at me. I walked towards the slushy machine, biting my bottom lip as I quickly scanned the selection of flavours.

"Raspberry sounds nice." I grinned, she nodded and put the cup under the corresponding dispenser, sticking a straw in both of the filled cups, and handing me my cup afterwards. I stabbed at the contents of the cup with the yellow straw, secretly wondering why raspberry slushies were blue.

And then I realised that it was practically just diabetes in every sip, and the colour didn't really matter anyway.

She removed her cup from the machine, putting it on the surface next to the machine and looked through her wallet, taking out the correct amount of money and putting it on the counter, even though no one was there.

I sipped on the straw, slightly chewing on the piece of yellow plastic between my teeth. "So, why are we here again?"

She took a big sip out of her slushy, sticking her tongue, which was stained a bright red, out playfully and biting it, a smile pasted on her face. Suddenly, her eyes snapped to something that was behind me, "Oh! Can you wait outside? I'll be out in a second."

Not having time to question her again about her motive to come to the store at two in the morning, her cup was already in my hand, and not knowing what else to do, I headed out of the store.

I sat on the nearby bench, putting the two cups of slushies aside as I rubbed my hands together, bringing them up to my mouth and huffing warm air into them, a white mist of condensation escaping between my lips.

I glanced at the two cups of icy treats next to me, and smiled to myself, shaking my head gently. My cheeks were cold with the cool air of the autumn night, and I cursed my own lack of brain cells for only grabbing and throwing on one jacket.

Grinning to myself, I wondered what went through her head that made her decide to throw pebbles at my window at two in the morning, only to bring me to a convenience store and sip on cold drinks during autumn.

"Okay, so!"

Ro walked out of the store, taking a seat next to me, holding up what was in her hand: another plastic cup.

Looking inside the plastic cup, it was filled with bits of food, such as cheese, sausages and so on, all attached to their piece of tootwhpick.

"Just asking, uh, is the only purpose of me being here to have a cup of slushies with you, and eat free samples of foods out of a cup?" I asked, getting multiple chuckles out of the girl in front of me, which made the corners of my lips unconsciously raise.

"Like, don't get me wrong, what we're doing currently is fantastic, but I really hope that isn't the only reason why I was dragged out of my house at two in the morning. "

She smiled faintly, looking down at the grey ground and softly kicking a pebble that was next to her foot.

"Heh, yeah." Ro laughed softly, watching as the pebble trailed across the sidewalk and knock into a nearby lamp post.

"I think..." She paused, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, she glanced up at me, her gorgeous, dark brown eyes meeting mine. She took a deep inhale of the cold air.

"I wanna confess." She smiled to herself, looking down at the floor again. "To him."

Ah.

"But I don't know if it's a good idea or not, you know? Like, I just thought about it and the idea just won't get out of my head, and it's all a mess..." She trailed off, interlocking her fingers. She looked back down on the ground, a soft gaze still glimmering in her eyes as the dim light from the street post shined onto her long, raven-black hair.

"And I really want to, but I don't know if I should, and I have no idea what to do because I just- I don't know." She sighed, leaning back against the bench and taking a sip out of her slushie. "Wow, I'm making no sense."

I nodded.

"Like, I don't want to add onto what he's going through, you know? I'm sure he's already going through a lot, and if he says no, then it'd be super uncomfortable and awkward for him and I don't want him to feel that way." She closed her eyes for a short moment. "You know what I mean?"

Yes. 

"Kind of, I guess."

Grabbing a piece of sausage by the toothpick, popping it into her mouth and leaning back onto the back of the bench, crossing her arms.  Letting out a loud groan of frustration, she leaned down and buried her face into her hands, propping herself up on my elbows which were placed on her knees.

She sat up again, removing her head from her hands, only to lean on my shoulder, making me slightly jump back in surprise before getting my composure back.

I smiled, my heart beating faster and faster as the thoughts ran through my head. I felt my cheeks rise in temperature as they were sprinkled with a light shade of pink, and my hands covered with a fine mesh of sweat.

Is this actually happening? She's leaning on me? Is this even real? What if she can hear my heartbeat? What if she doesn't like the smell of my body wash? What if-

-Shut up, shut up, shut up.

My mouth felt dry and my stomach was in a knot as I dismissed my own thoughts. The smile on my face faded as the image of the brown-haired, green-eyed boy came back into my mind.

Stop.

"Like, I don't want him to feel guilty for not liking me back, but I-" She murmured. "-I can't help but think about the possibility of us actually going out." She smiled at the thought. "You know, like holding hands, and calling each other pet names, and-"

Ro pulled away from my shoulder, exhaling out deeply.

"Oh god, I'm being so annoying right now." She groaned. "I'm sorry."

Her voice was hushed as she spoke, and I pulled my gaze away from her as she grazed her tongue over her bottom lip briefly. "I don't know what I was thinking, pulling you out at two in the morning for something that you're probably sick of me talk about."

I listened.

"Now thinking about it, I think I really suck as a friend." She laughed, but it quickly faded, the humour from her voice disappearing. She fiddled with her fingers. "But yeah, that's uh, pretty much it."

I wanted to laugh at myself.

Sitting next to her, letting her drag me out of my house at two in the morning, listening to her ramble about the person that she likes, all while knowing that I didn't even stand a chance in the first place.

I still listened, of course. It wasn't my place to refuse.

Her dark eyes would never stare into mine as if I was hers, and her heart would never flutter and tremble with ardour at the mention of my name, brightness of my eyes, or the shade of my hair colour.

She simply can't.

"I, uh, I don't think you suck as a friend."

She raised her head, turning to look at me with a bright grin on her face. She laughed, each chuckle sending sharp blades through my torso. "Well, thanks."

I stared into the distance at the buildings, overshadowed by the looming darkness. 

"And I think you should just tell him," I said, her eyes widening at my statement. "Not right now, of course! Maybe just wait until, you know, he doesn't seem so upset anymore and is in a good place to listen to you."

I ignored the ache in my chest.

"Telling him is better than letting the feelings build up, anyway." I looked down.

"Because when it builds up, everything about him will suddenly be amazing in some sort of way. After a while, you can't get out of it, and you just fall further and further until you just have to give up, accept the truth, and watch him get with some other person that's not you."

I swallowed.

"And that's when it'll just..." I hesitated, biting down on my bottom lip. "Really fucking suck."

She stayed silent.

I ignored the hot burning in the back of my eyes.

"Huh." Ro tapped her fingers against the arm of the bench, and I begged the gods for her to not mention anything about the words that I had just said. I bit down on my bottom lip harder, afraid.

"That..." She paused. "Was the first time I've ever heard you swear."

I almost let out a large sigh of relief, wanting to rip out my hair for the stupid, stupid monologue that I had just given to her without second thoughts. I managed a smile. "Give me a break, it's two in the morning."

She laughed. "Yeah..."

She placed her hand on my shoulder, patting gently.

She whispered softly, "It's okay."

I nodded.

Ro pulled her hand off my shoulder, taking a large sip from her slushy. Then, her hand suddenly raised up to her head, tangling themselves in her hair. She squeezed her eyes together, letting out a pained noise under her breath.

I raised one of my brows at her, confused.

"Brain freeze!" She exclaimed, putting her slushy to the side hastily. She groaned loudly, throwing her head back. "Goddamnit, why did I decide to get fricking slushies in autumn? I'm fricking stupid."

Chuckling, I crossed my legs, watching as she shuffled around on her seat in discomfort. I said, "Try pressing your tongue against the roof of your mouth."

She let out another groan.

"It doesn't actually- Oh hey, what do you know, it actually worked."

We both laughed.

"Thanks," She said, grinning. "For being here, just in general."

I listened, and I smiled.