ISABELLA

CHAPTER FOUR  - "CLOTHES"

OCTOBER 20TH, SATURDAY

A KNOCK ON my door made my head turn. I pulled down the grey headphones that I was wearing, still blasting with music, down to around my neck. I clicked the pause button on my laptop screen, calling out, "Come in!"

The door was pushed open, and Bethany was standing on the other side, her arms crossed and leaning against the wooden frame of the door, the usual all-knowing, teasing smile plastered on her face.

"What is it?" I asked, shutting my laptop close, turning my chair, so it was facing her.

"Can't a responsible and great sister like me come and check on her adorable little sister once in a while?" She walked over and pinched my cheeks, to which I stared at her blankly and pushed her away with my hands against her shoulders.

I crossed my arms and muttered under my breath, "You're only a year older than me."

She ignored my statement and continued, "At this point, you're literally just rotting away in your room," I rolled my eyes at her statement, knowing that it was true and valid, and that it was just my regular daily routine. She grinned and ruffled my hair with her hand.

"I'm not wrong."

"Shut up."

"Why are you even here?" I asked again.

Bethany gave me a mischievous smirk which sent shivers down my spine, considering the last time he gave me that smirk was when she 'accidentally' put salt in her chocolate cookies instead of sugar and made me eat one of them.

Delicious.

"Your little girlfriend is here, drenched in rain, might I mention." She shrugged. "Mom is downstairs with her, must be something real important for her to come running at this time through the rain."

Well then, goodbye relaxing evening, hello random panic attacks.

"Oh, uh, tell her I'll be down in a second," I said, standing up from my office chair, pushing it under the table and placing my headphones down on the wooden surface. "-And she's not my girlfriend."

She winked and walked out of my room, closing the door behind her.

Grabbing the nearest mirror to me, I quickly combed through my hair with my fingers and made sure that I didn't look like a burning garbage can.

I pulled the door of my room open, sprinting down the wooden stairs that lead to the living room, trying to control the pace of my heartbeat, but failing miserably. I looked around, before seeing her, sitting on the black couch.

She had a white, fluffy towel that draped loosely over her figure. Strands of her long, black hair stuck to the skin of her cheek, and she was holding a cup of hot cocoa in her hands.

My chest tightened at the sight of her, and a familiar feeling of warmth spreads.

Fucking feelings.

Bruno was on the ground, sniffing here and there and inspecting the stranger in front of him.

Catching my gaze through her rain-splattered glasses, she smiled.

"Your dog is adorable," She said, leaning down to scratch Bruno behind his ears, which immediately caused him to nuzzle into her palm.

She took off her glasses, wiping them hastily with the hem of her pink sweatshirt before she looked up at me again, gesturing to the wet items of clothing that clung tight to her skin because of the dampness as she smiled sheepishly.

"So, as you can tell, I didn't really read the weather report for today,"

I cleared my throat and felt the blood rush to my cheeks as I forced myself to rip my gaze away from the almost see-through fabric, taking deep inhales that I desperately hoped she didn't notice.

"So, uh, are you here?" I asked, running my fingers through my hair, "Like, it's not like I mind it or anything, but I don't exactly remember making plans for today, especially with pouring rain outside."

She smiled at my attempt at lightening the mood, but the smile didn't reach her eyes.

"Just to hang out." Ro shrugged, taking a sip out of the cup of hot cocoa before widening her eyes and gasping dramatically, staring at the cup as if it was some kind of godly object from the heavens.

"Oh my god, this is amazing." She turned to mom, who was grinning and smiling to herself at her reaction, her rich, chestnut hair still tied up into a proper ponytail. She was also still dressed in her work attire, signalling that she had probably just come back home from work.

It was nine o'clock in the evening.

"This might be sudden, but miss, you must be a freaking goddess at making hot cocoa. Wow, that is some good hot chocolate!" Ro suddenly exclaimed, invading my thoughts.

My mom was smiling like there was no tomorrow, enjoying the spew of praises from the girl in front of her.

"Aw, stop it."

She didn't want her to.

"I will definitely save this for later," Ro said, putting the cup of warm drink on the coffee table.

She stood up, her hands gripping on the towel, so it didn't slip off her at the sudden motion. She casually strolled towards my direction, stopping in front of me.

Her simple gesture made my heart stop, and my breath hitch as her dark, brown eyes looked into mine, a simple but lovely smile formed at her lips.

"Awkward question, but can I borrow some dry clothes?"

The question made me snap back to reality, and I wondered if death was still such a closed-off option. Considering the awkward silence that had gone past the both of us.

"Um, yeah, there should be some in my room." I glanced at mom, who was still smiling, although tired, at the compliments that Ro had made towards her hot chocolate, which I presumed was just her being kind.

"Go ahead! Don't let me spoil your fun," She said, putting her hands up as she titled her head towards the stairs. I then glanced at Bethany, who shrugged and smiled at Ro.

Ro smiled back at both Bethany and mom before walking up the stairs at a startling fast speed, her hand trailing against the railing.

Bruno sprinted up the stairs alongside her, wagging his tail.

Traitor.

Just as I was about to follow her, mom pulled me back by the arm. She looked back at the stairs, smiling and patting me on the back.

"I like this one, she's definitely a keeper." She crossed her arms and grinned at me. I could feel my cheeks turn warmer by the second as I rolled my eyes at her words, unable to keep the corners of my lips from raising.

"She's just a friend."

She raised one of her brows and shot me a playful smile, wiggling her eyebrows teasingly.

"Whatever you say, honey."

I opened my mouth to reply, but was interrupted by Ro's voice from the top of the stairs, calling out for me and asking, "Isabella, can you come up here? I have no idea which one is your room and it's absolutely freezing."

Mom and Bethany looked at each other with smug smirks on their faces the entire time, ushered me along and pushed me towards the stairs.

"Use protection!" Bethany whispered into my ear, to which I slapped her on the arm for as she and mom laughed.

"Was the hot chocolate really that good?" I asked when I reached Ro's side, pulling open the door to my room. Mom loved cooking, and I was her taste-tester most of the time, but none of her dishes or drinks was ever great.

When she wasn't busy at work in her Law firm, she would cook, and I'd pretend to like and enjoy the dishes she'd cook because her face would light up at words of approval.

Seeking for approval let her know that she's worth more.

More than him, anyway.

"Nope," Ro replied in a sing-songy voice, smiling and walking into the room. "She just looked like she needed a compliment."

Chuckling and shaking my head at her statement, I slid the sliding closet door to the side, rummaging through unique items of clothing that might fit the girl who had comfortably sat herself down on the soft surface of my viridescent bed.

I made a mental list to myself of her features and looked for the clothes that could fit her.

- Around five foot four (Shorter than me)

- Pretty much the same physique as me.

- Crooked teeth.

- Smiles a lot.

- Adorable.

Exhaling deeply when I realised that I had paused my actions, distracted by the nonsensical list I had made in my head, I chewed at a dry piece of skin on my bottom lip.

I glanced behind me and was glad to see that Ro hadn't noticed at all, humming a little tune under her breath as her eyes wandered around my room.

- Lovable.

I immediately return to the closet, looking at the unlit space in front of me, suddenly overly aware of everything that was happening.

The piles of clothes I knew could fit onto her figure that laid in front of me, the quiet sounds of the droplets of rain against the glass, the tune that she was singing under her breath, and her hand, that was drumming a fast-paced rhythm that matched the song.

And I swore, it also matched my heartbeat that was drumming in my ears.

What would she do if she found out?

The thought terrified me, and it caused me to bite at that same piece of skin on my bottom lip again, accidentally taking off more skin than I meant to, and it leaves a raw, stinging patch.

She sat there, just inches away from me.

I already found the clothes, and they were right in my hand.

And all of the sudden, I couldn't breathe.

Why was I scared to turn back? To look her in the eyes and hand them over?

Maybe they were too ugly for her and her delicate features, maybe they were too ragged for her and her charming, bubbly attitude, maybe they just didn't fit into the category of clothes she'd wear, maybe she preferred skirts and dresses over pants.

Or maybe, she just straight out won't like them.

Maybe, she would just say no.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, trying to breathe in, but it seemed as if the air around me had all disappeared into oblivion. I took a few more quiet, but harsh breathes in, still trying to adjust my breathing back to a normal tempo.

I gripped on the shirt and sweatpants in my hands, clutching them hard between my fingers, almost like I was trying to hide them as if I was ashamed for even owning them.

In a way, I was.

"Earth to Isabella!"

The voice made my head turn, only to be greeted face to face with an alarmingly short amount of distance between us. She was now standing directing in front of me, and for some reason, the mere thought of meeting her eyes scared me.

Her breath was fanning against my skin, the corners of her rosy, pink lips raised as she playfully waved her hand in front of my face.

Don't do it.

Don't even think about it.

She doesn't like you.

Stop.

"Can I have those?" She asked, pointing to the clothes I held on to in a firm hold. I nodded quickly and hastily handed her the clothes, almost as if they burned me from even the slightest of contact.

I quietly thanked the heavens she didn't notice my inner panic and told her the directions of the bathroom, to which she thanked me for and headed towards.

Clothes, clothes, clothes.

Stupid, stupid clothes.

"So, why are you really here?" I asked, turning off the blow dryer with my right hand as I slid the switch to off.

I was beyond surprised, absolutely awe shocked, at the fact that I managed to say that smoothly without stuttering or becoming a blushing mess.

The feeling of her hair against my fingers was causing my stomach to do all kinds of flips and kicks, and the fact that she was in the clothes I used to wear was not helping with the immense singing and dancing of my heart.

She turned back and looked at me, tilting her head to one side as Bruno rested peacefully inside her arms.

"Like, I don't expect you to just run to my house at nine o'clock while it's storming outside just to hang out," I said, shrugging.

Pulling the plug of the blow dryer and looking down as I wrapped the black cord around itself, I planted my gaze anywhere but her eyes. "There has to be something that's bothering you."

She stayed silent.

Dreadful, horrible silence.

"Um, I'm sorry," I quickly apologised, awfully aware of the aching of my heart at the worried and sad expression appearing on her features. "I didn't mean to- If you don't feel like talking about it, then we don't have to-"

She shot me a bittersweet smile. "It's fine."

Ro stopped, and she looked out at the window, the rain still pouring down.

And Isabella strikes again with her continuous record of fucking shit up.

Lovely.

I didn't know what to say, or if I should speak up at all and break the silence.  There was nothing but white noise in my brain, constantly buzzing and buzzing at me like an annoying, irritating gadfly.

"It was his funeral this morning."

"Oh."

I stumbled on my own words, struggling to find words that could bring her comfort as my tongue felt dry and my throat felt parched.

I gawked at her, scrambling to find decipherable and comprehensible words.

She looked away, shaking her head. "It's okay, you don't have to say anything."

"I just need someone to be next to, in person," Turning back to me, the corners of her lips raised, and although the smile itself was lovely, it lacked the genuineness that made them hers.

"I- The only friends that I can really talk to about this are just, you know, Myles, Nathan, Alex, and Spencer."

I was slightly taken back by the mentioning of Myles' name in her group of friends, as I'd never imagined someone as sharp as Myles could be even acquaintances with such an energetic girl. However, my mind traced back to Nathan's apparent friendship with him, and the shock faded out of my system quickly.

I vaguely remembered the names of the so called 'Popular' group in school, and nodded blindly despite having absolutely no idea who Alex and Spencer actually were.

Hello, and welcome to fun school experiences with Isabella.

"I'm sure they need more comfort than I do, so I don't want to bother them," Ro muttered, putting a piece of hair behind her ear. The statement made me smile gently, of course, she always put others before her.

I looked at her, resisting the urge to just put my arms around her and hug her, to tell her that it's all going to be alright, and to tell her that no matter what, I'll be there for her, no matter what.

"I mean, I don't wanna bother you or anything," She quickly added, her voice turning anxious as she pushed up her classes by the middle. "If, uh, if I'm bothering you, I can go-"

"No!" I exclaimed way too quickly for comfort. "Uh, it's fine." I looked down. "You can stay."

We sat there in silence, with Ro seemingly not bothered at all as she pat Bruno, who was in her lap, and me shuffling in my seat on my bed awkwardly, wanting to dig a hole in the ground and bury myself in it.

"So, um, I really suck at this comforting thing, so, what should I do?" I asked.

"Nothing," she smiled. "I just need some company, and you're perfect as it is."

Don't think about it.

She doesn't like you.

She would never even consider you.

She shrugged. "We can always cuddle each other to death, if you really feel like doing something."

Before I got the time to react and reply to her statement in a flustered jumble of words and stutters, she scooted closer to me and laid herself between my legs, her back against my chest as Bruno wagged his tail at her touch, still in her lap.

I could feel my heartbeat in my ears, and my hands were trembling and shaking with pure nervousness.

You're giving yourself false hope.

Her heart doesn't belong to you.

She snuggled into my chest, grabbing my arms and wrapping them around her torso.

I sighed.

Fucking feelings.

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