ISABELLA

CHAPTER THREE - "HARD TO REACH"

OCTOBER 11TH, MONDAY

I GLANCED NEXT to me, shaking my leg up and down anxiously. The noise of my fingers against the armrest of my chair was nothing compared to the loud chatter in the room, only ringing as loud as drums in my ears.

Tap, tap, tap, tap.

The ruby-red chair that belonged to Nathan was empty, and no one seemed to notice or give a thought of, except for me.

I subconsciously chewed and picked on my chipped nails, wondering what happened to the boy in the red hoodie. How long would he be absent for? How would we complete our project together if he was going to be absent for a lengthy period of time?

One week had already passed, but currently, our photo album of beautiful things was as empty as Nathan's chair.

The thoughts burned me on the inside as curiosity and anxiety sliced me like a sharp blade, and slowly, the shakes of my leg got more rapid, and the chewing of my nail increased before I was forced to snap back to reality by the loud ringing of the obnoxious bell, causing me to pause for a moment before stopping my actions entirely.

I grabbed my backpack in a quick, fluid motion and walked towards the door alongside the flock of other eager students, mumbling a, "Thank you," that I hoped Miss Lillie heard.

Walking down the loud and chatter-filled hallway, I stuck close to the white wall to the side, running my fingertips on the rough surface as I walked past it. Fidgeting with the hem of my grey sweater, I paced towards the exit of the school, quickening my steps to get away from the loud, busy environment.

Maths club had been horrendous. The silence that overcame all of us when the teacher automatically called out Lucas' name during register, the thick tension that radiated in the small classroom with nowhere else to drain to, and the empty seat that stared holes into all of us.

I was ready - more than ready -  to leave.

But then, suddenly, a loud exclaim came from my right, causing my head to turn toward the source of the sound.

A small crowd had formed in front of the lockers, murmuring and chattering as a girl and a boy stood in the centre, the girl heated while the boy seemed purely annoyed.

I got closer, knowing that I was just mere steps away from the exit, but still intrigued by the sudden implications of a dispute.

"Just because you thought something is true, doesn't mean it is."

"You said-"

"I said that it was an onetime thing beforehand." The boy's hands were buried in the pockets of his black jacket, an annoyed look in his eyes as he looked at the fuming brunette in front of him. "You're being delusional."

As the high-pitched vocals that had just screamed out some other words bashing him, more people joined in to watch the argument unfold.

A one-night stand, maybe? I thought to myself. Perhaps even an ex?

Maybe, she was someone that I shouldn't over analysed and should probably just shut up about. I internally agreed with my latter statement and just stayed quiet for the time being.

The girl huffed angrily, her arms crossed in front of her chest as she glared. She took a slight breath in, looking around with a proud expression before twirling a strand of her perfectly curled, chocolate brown hair with her index finger.

"Well, you don't have a girlfriend, so I don't see the-"

"Listen, I'm not into you," the tall figure said. "I don't do relationships, and that's full stop." He glanced around the crowd before staring directly at the girl. "You're causing a scene."

Her deep green eyes traced around the small circle of people, flashing with disorientation and simmering annoyance as the groups dispersed - Interested in the tension, but not in the consequences.

"Myles Fidel, you really are just an asshole."

"For not wanting to date a bitch?" Myles - His name that I had just newly learnt - said it as if it was a laughable joke.

"Whatever, I didn't even like you that much anyway," She sneered, crossing her arms and turning away from the other snappily. She threw her long curls over her shoulder, walking through the remaining students that had parted between them for her path.

Then, as the surrounding pupils trailed away and back to their normal routines - no longer fueled from the excitement of drama and arguments - I walked away as well, intending to just complete my regular system and step back home by myself.

But then-

"Hey."

I had no reason to believe that he was calling for me, since I had never even talked to this person in the entirety of my lifetime, but I just hastily glanced back anyway - just to confirm.

He was staring right at me.

He crossed his arms in front of his chest, casual but intimidating. I blinked, confused at why he had called me out of all people, and also apologetic to whatever holy entity I've pissed off in my past life, begging for their forgiveness and for me to just be let off.

He was dressed in black from head to toe. His black hair was brushed back in a careless, "I honestly don't give a shit because I look good anyway," way, and his eyes were a deep blue that was both piercing and cold.

It was the classic look for the - and I had always treated them like some sort of mythical creatures - Bad boy.

"What's your name?"

"Uh, Isabella," I said, revisiting the heated dialogue that was exchanged between the girl and him.

"Right." His voice was just as sharp, even though he spoke a word of agreement. He then continued with, "You know Nathan, then."

Hm.

Hm?

?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿

I gawked at him, incredibly unsettled and bewildered by his knowledge of my friendship - could I even call it that? - with Nathan.

I wondered what someone like Nathan, bubbly with sunshine practically radiating off of every inch of him, could have anything to do with someone that looked like they were about to ride a motorbike into the sunset while wearing a leather jacket.

I started, "Uh, yeah, sort of. I mean, we're partners in-"

"-Group counselling, I know," Myles suddenly interrupted, voice dripping with annoyance and irritation, which then caused me to panic internally even more. "I've heard far too much about that," he muttered under his breath.

I was almost ninety percent certain that I wasn't supposed to have heard the last sentence, so I pretended like I hadn't and instead questioned,  "Are you and Nathan friends?"

"Sure."

Taken back by the vague reply, I answered with a quick, "Okay." before a thought floated through my mind. I traced back to the empty, red seat to the right of mine, and my curiosity burned before I started, "Uh, if you don't mind me asking, do you know where he is?"

He raised one of his brows, hands now both buried in the pockets of his black jacket.

I continued, feeling uncomfortable under his questioning gaze, "I kind of, like, need him to work on the project that we're working on, and it's-"

"You wanna know where he is?" Myles interrupted me for the second time, still sounding as nonchalant as ever.

"I- Yeah, that, uh, that'd be preferable."

He paused for a while, scanning me from top to bottom as I shift my weight from my left foot to my right, somehow even more anxious at the silence than his words.

"Hospital."

"Hm?" I blinked, half surprised at him actually providing me with an answer, and a half at the answer itself. "Oh, uh, is he okay?"

"Mm." The corner of his mouth quirked into a dangerously mischievous, and quite frankly, horrifying smirk. He took a few steps towards me, leaning down while still keeping his hands in his pockets. "You know what? Why don't you come with me and see for yourself."

"Uh? I don't think that's a good idea, like, wouldn't I be interrupting-"

As I continued to ramble out my concerns and worries about my interference and sudden intrusion on the routine of a boy I wasn't even that familiar with, Myles had already strolled towards the exit of the school.

He turned back, looking over his shoulder at me. "Well?"

"I- I still don't think I should."

Myles let out an enormous sigh of annoyance, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he turned his torso towards me. I avoided his sharp gaze, still wanting and preferring to live for just a while longer.

"Fucking hell. Listen, Nathan's been talking about you for the past week, and frankly, I am sick of this shit. If you really wanna know where he is, just stop talking, and follow." His words weren't suggestions. "Okay?"

Despite my colossal amount of confusion, utter reluctance, frantic panic and bewilderment all combined into one singular mush of horrible emotions and future mistakes, I swallowed down the lump in the back of my throat.

Curiosity killed the cat, but I already lacked the will to live, anyway.

"Okay."

"Nate? Are you there?" Myles called out, knocking on the wooden door gently with his knuckles, pausing for a moment to hear a response from his injured friend. After hearing a soft, "Mhm," he put his hand on the silver doorknob and twisted, pulling open the door.

He walked in first, and I stayed outside of the room, unsure what to do and wishing for nothing else but for the ground to open and swallow me. Myles crossed his arms against his chest, raising one of his brows when he saw that I had no plans of moving.

"What are you looking at?" I heard Nathan ask.

"Just hold on a minute, Nate," Myles replied softly, lacking all venom and sharpness that he had been projecting to everyone else for the past half an hour.

He then turned towards me with a bored expression on his face, expectant. I pointed at me, and back at him, and back at me again, only daring to walk slowly into the room when he rolled his eyes in annoyance and nodded.

This is going great.

I waved at Nathan, smiling reluctantly before wrapping my other hand across my torso and on my elbow, glancing at the floor.

Real smooth, Isabella.

The room was in pristine conditions, white loomed over practically every corner of the luxurious surroundings. I wondered to myself the cost of getting into a hospital room like this as I continued to look down, my lips glued shut.

"Isabella?" Nathan asked, slowly sitting up from the bed. He was wearing an orange hoodie which made me wonder why he had so many hoodies in his closet.

I waved again, unsure of what do to with my arms, legs, and the rest of my existence on this damned planet. "Hi."

"Uh, Hi!" A bright smile tugged on his lips. His cheeks were slightly flushed with pink as he scratched the back of his neck nervously, most likely also uncertain about me standing in the middle of his hospital room. "Why are you here?"

I shifted around, uncomfortable under his confused and shocked gaze. "I-"

"I invited her over-" Ahem, kidnapped. "-Since, apparently, you are helpless without someone to help you."

Nathan tilted his head to the side, letting out a small noise of confusion. His eyes were wide. "Hm?"

Myles sighed, shaking his head slowly before turning around and grasping for the door handle. He promptly walked out, leaving both me and Nathan in utter confusion and with chaos running through my mind.

"Thud!"

The door closed.

Nathan turned back to me, scratching the back of his neck. His wide eyes told me that he was just as confused as I was, but it was also layered with a veil of flustered emotions and sprinkles of embarrassment.

"I'm sorry about this... Um, you don't have to stay here if you don't want to! You're welcome to, but like-" His cheeks were sprinkled with a light dust of pink as he looked down, fumbling with his fingers. "You get the point."

"Uh, yeah."

An awkward silence fell between the both of us, with me staring at the floor, and Nathan twiddling with the strings of his orange hoodie, looking incredibly deflated at the silence between us.

Hundreds of thoughts ran through my head as the uncomfortable, deafening silence made me want to crawl into a hole and die.

Might as well just kill me now. 

Attempting to strike a conversation and not die and suffocate out of the pure awkwardness in the air, I asked, "So, uh, what happened?"

He scratched the back of his neck and chuckled nervously, his fingers already around the dog tag around his neck. "Um, basically, I just, like, passed out."

Oh, sounds lovely.

Nathan let out a nervous chuckle, nodding and agreeing with what must've been the expression that I didn't even know was being displayed on my face.

"I have to stay in the hospital for a week and I'm not allowed to do vigorous exercise for a month and a half," Nathan murmured under his breath, crossing his arms as he huffed - It was adorable, really, like a small puppy trying to be intimidating.

"And there's a game coming up on Wednesday!" He exclaimed, sighing right afterwards.

People are enthusiastic about sports in this school? I always thought that it was just a torture method used by teachers.

Well, I guess you learn new things every day.

"If it makes you feel better, I blacked out once during Netball," I said, feeling surprisingly comfortable after listening to Nathan rant and complain about his problems. His head perked up at the sound of my reply, and he nodded and urge me to continue.

Nathan gave a lopsided grin, looking like a toddler ready for a bedtime story.

"Someone threw the ball at my face, I fell and hit my head on the concrete floor." He winced when I finished the sentence, but made no other noises or interruptions other than that. "I had to get an MRI scan with the coach standing right next to me, which was probably the most awkward and horrible experience I will ever have in my life."

He grinned and gestured to the chair next to the bed that he was resting on, to which I took as an invitation and sat down. "Sounds like we're the same kind of people then," He said, as he leaned back into the white, silky pillows behind him.

The statement snapped me out of whatever comforting or enjoyable aspect of this conversation, suddenly remembering the bitterness that would build in the pit of my stomach whenever his name was mentioned.

Same kind of people, huh?

"You know, I never really took you as the sporty kind."  He breathed, unaware that he had even spoken anything before suddenly sitting up again hastily.

His hands were now in the air, gesturing along with his words as he spoke, "Uh, I didn't mean that in a bad way, it's just that you're like, insanely smart, and I don't see you doing sports a lot-"

"Oh! No, no, it's fine," I reassured him, watching with amusement as he exhaled in deep relief and leaned back into the pillows again. "I'm not the sporty kind anyway, I just do a bit of volleyball and netball because my mom wants me to, it's not like I'm any good at them, anyway."

His dark, chocolate brown curls scattered across the white pillow, his green eyes watched me with a tender, underlying feeling that I couldn't decipher, and I realised just how perfect her description of him had been.

His eyes were indeed gorgeous, his hair was also a dark shade of chocolate brown, framing his already boyishly charming features wonderfully, and that just made me hate everything even more.

I unconsciously pushed some of my pale, light hair behind my ear, not wanting to meet his colourful gaze with my plain ones.

I wanted to hide - to just disappear and be swallowed up by the very essence of the Earth.

It was dreadful to be next to such a bright and radiant person. It felt as if it burned me, making all the self-doubt and questioning of, "Why the hell would she ever pick you if someone like him exists." reappear.

I let out a small, silent, bitter laugh that I hoped Nathan didn't catch.

Fucking feelings.

"I'm really not anything when compared to people like you," I murmured quietly, hoping that he wouldn't catch the sentence either.

"People like me?" He asked, interest now fully perked. "Like what?"

And for a moment, I wondered if I could just make up some random excuse for his undiverted interest on the topic. However, I just twiddled with my fingers and let whatever that was on my mind spew out from my mouth, silently hating myself for my lack of self-control and composure.

"You know, the sporty, talented people who all the people in school want to be friends with?" I suggested, still not meeting his gaze.

He didn't interrupt, so I continued.

"The kind of people that makes all the girls swoon every time they walk past them?" One particular one, I thought to myself.

"The kind of people that everyone wants to be?" Just to catch the attention of someone who would never like me back for being me.

"The kind of people that are just so, so hard to reach."

A pair of deep, brown eyes appeared in my mind.

Her smile pierced through everything I had in me, the sound of her laughter stung right down to my bones, and the pure happiness on her features when she described the way he had looked at her one morning made my hands tremble.

Everything hurt again.

And oh, did it hurt.

We both remained silent for a while, neither of us knowing how or when to come back from the vague and, quite frankly, strange statement that I had made.

I didn't know if I could actually bear enough courage to continue off from my own words.

"Do you really think that?"

His gaze was soft, and they drifted to my trembling fingers, before reaching over one of his significantly larger, warmer hands and putting mine in his. His skin burned mine, like hot coal against bruised flesh.

It stung.

His mouth curved into a playful smile. "See? Not that hard to reach."

I laughed, ignoring the black hair and brown eyes that echoed throughout my mind. In his hold, I felt inadequate, like I had nothing to offer compared to everything that he wielded.

Worthless, perhaps.

I settled on gently pulling away from his grasp, just managing another smile at him.

"Yeah, not that hard to reach."

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