Dramatic title I know but whatever. It ain't clickbait; it's the cold hard truth.

So I start college in two years, and I have absolutely no idea what I want to study or what to be in the future. It sucks and it's so stressful too!

I don't know what I like but I know what I hate.

Now you might say "well that narrows it down". No. It doesn't.

Because I hate everything now.

So my strategy is to get the highest grades possible so I can have more options to choose from...

But it's not frickin working!

I study so damn much, I study daily, I don't leave anything for the night before the exam, I'm caught up and everything yet I barely get great grades. Only 'good grades' which honestly aren't that good.

No matter how hard I try, I get the same results and it's so frustrating!!

And so my brother said that it isn't about grades, but skills...

Which got me to think about my own skills...

I KNOW NOTHING!!!!! I'M LITERALLY SO USELESS IT'S UNREAL!!!

Social skills? Hah, like I'd ever be able to talk to new people.

Smart? Barely.

Writing? Meh.

Drawing? So little and I've barely drawn anything in so long and they're literally the most average thing ever. I think less than average even...

So seriously. What am I supposed to do?

I started this book thinking I'll get to find out who I am...

And I'm a useless little piece of poop. I'm nothing.

I'm only getting more lost as time goes on.

And it absolutely sucks because I work so hard and yet it all goes to waste.
I'm so tired and frustrated and I wanna give up but I don't even know how to give up which frustrates me even more.

God help me...

Sorry for ranting I just really want to cry right now but I hate crying so I'm writing it.

Hope you're doing better than me.