An Autobiography ~

~ The Difficulties of Expressing Oneself

I have always been an introvert and insecure and I never really been great at expressing myself to an extent, because it's easier that way. Let me explain why: If I express myself I'm hurting myself and everyone around me. I know, I'm not really hurting everyone but the way my brain wraps around the fact that I blame myself and if I express myself, I make them feel bad or angry. So me saying, 'I'm fine. I'm okay.' Meaning, I always smile away my problems and the pain away but in actual fact, I know deep down, I'm making the matters worse and letting the physical and mental pain to grow more and more...

~ Dancing Flames

playing with fire was dangerous, but i ignored all the signs
the flames looked beautiful—dancing
the reflection of the fire absorbs my orbs—like a circus
the inviting warmth gravitated me toward the dancing blaze,
drawing me closer and closer to the vibrating heat
but i am burning
i am numb
inside and out

CM 🎗

~ Masquerade Ball

when it rains
it pours
when it storms
it thunders
when i think of you
happiness
then it dawns on me
that was a lie i was believing
in reality
you're a hurricane in disguise

CM 🎗

~ Eclipse

you're always on my mind
you're always my every thought
you cause pain and sadness
you cause heartaches and headaches
every waking,
second
minute
hour
month
moment
everyday
every night
every sunrise
every sunset
you cause the hurricane to come full circle
drowning me and taking me captive
underneath the vast, dark, cold and lonely ocean

CM 🎗

~ Labyrinth

when i think of you,
i have pain
an ache in my belly that won't go away
you never truly tried to understand the meaning of "leave me alone"
i'm stuck in a labyrinth—never-ending

CM 🎗