An Autobiography ~

~ The Lies—The Truths

Here we will dive-into the tips that help to manage my chronic pain and all the lies about pain management and all the truths that come along dealing with chronic pain. Everything I mention below to help manage pain is either cost-effective or expensive but will not cure you of the silent disease so know whatever I suggest, might not help you or will.

There are a few options that you will be given once you have been diagnosed with Endometriosis {Endo}. You will be recommended: the contraceptive pill, therapies, to a pain management clinic, pain psychology, pelvic floor physical therapy, alternative therapies, such as acupuncture, hypnotherapy, yoga, meditation and pilates to deal/cope with debilitating pain. However, those alternatives I've just mentioned, they can or may help short-term and will not stop the Endo from growing back and they all can be expensive, but most of those alternatives are crucial to have, such as the contraceptive pill for short-term to ease the pain by skipping your period {which is what I have to do} and eliminate your period to delay the return of Endometriosis from growing but this is not always true. Therapy for either short-term or long-term may help you mentally deal/cope with the pain.

Now the other alternatives I use to help with pain is a heat pack or a hot water bottle as it can numb the pain but do be careful not to overuse it as you can get burn marks, like what happened to me. I also do use a TENS Machine more in public outings but I mostly been using the hot water bottle for home and public. I also do need pain medication to help manage the pain when the pain is excruciatingly debilitating and so I take an opioid tablet and try to sleep it off. I should be taking anxiety medication and or sleeping pills but like I said, I hate talking medication. Other alternatives that may help pain, such as massaging your stomach, taking laxatives to help your digestive track and to help regular trips to the bathroom, minimal exercise, such as stretching and walking can or may help but not always. However, when you're in immense amounts of pain, none of the above suggestions will take away the pain, the heat pack/hot water bottle and pain medication can or may help but not take away the pain completely as this is the daily life of a chronically ill woman.

~ The Hot Water Bottle

sometimes we're born with birthmarks on our delicate, fragile, soft, newborn skin
sometimes others are not
but when we grow up
we get burn marks from other things
like, the hot water bottle for instance
because nothing else works to get rid of the pain fast enough
not even pills work fast enough
this is the sad truth and harsh reality about living with endometriosis

CM 🎗

~ A Lie Within a Truth

the lie: we're a girl who is full of love and happiness
but that's what we want everyone to perceive us as
the truth: we're a girl full of self-hate and pain
who has never loved herself and never will see the light of day
who feels non-existent and frozen in time
we believe we can ever stop pretending nor running from our lies
because if there is one second of hesitation
there may be a chance that we won't be able to control the never-ending stream
of emotions of pain, due to the chronic illness controlling our life
till the f**king bitter end.

CM 🎗

~ Stomachache

every second of every moment is full of everlasting stomachaches that is
a burning
a stabbing
an aching
twisting and turning sensation—painful
does harrowing out in pain make us pathetic?
this disease is destroying and tearing our life apart
mentally and physically
draining any humanity left inside us

CM 🎗