An Autobiography ~

~ All About my Other Health Conditions

So, it turns out I had the worst case of Irritable Bowel Syndrome {IBS} along with Endometriosis {Endo} and Adenomyosis {Adeno}.

To top it off, I have Coeliac Disease as well and it took so long to get diagnosed. I didn't realise that I had to consume gluten for a week when you do the Coeliac Disease blood test but no one told me that important information so I was undiagnosed for a very long time. So, one day I decided to have gluten and take the test and it turns out I had high Coeliac Disease.

I also have a disease called Painful Bladder Syndrome where it's hard to hold a full bladder and where I have to urinate frequently and when I urinate it's painful so it lives up to its name. I remember when I was a kid I would need to frequently use the toilet and I didn't understand why. Since on some occasions I would pee the bed and or pee myself if I would hold on for too long or if I was laughing too much.

I thought it was worth mentioning everything so I also have Pilonidal Sinus which is an abnormal skin growth located on the coccyx bone {tailbone} that contains a pouch, cyst like, full of fluid, pus, skin and hair.

My other conditions are: vertigo {dizziness}, depression and anxiety. So as you can imagine all these conditions play a big role with my gut health, physical health and mental health.

During 2016/2017 I was going through multiple surgeries. I had 3 surgeries to remove the Pilonidal Sinus. While in primary school I hurt my tailbone and it was painful while going through growth spurts over the years. So I decided to remove my tailbone at the age of 18 and it turns out it was broken for the longest time, so I had another surgery and got that removed. To note, I also had to have 2 Colonoscopy and Endoscopy surgeries {years apart} where a camera is inserted down the throat and up the anus. So I've had 2 laparoscopy surgeries and I've also had another surgery to get Botox injected in my pelvic floor to help pain and during that surgery is when I get diagnosed with Painful Bladder Syndrome. So, I've had 9 surgeries thus far, including all my conditions. Thus far, I've had 3 surgeries involving Endometriosis and more to come.

If you are someone or you may know someone who is experiencing and suffering with this diseases...know that you are not alone and there is hope. Stay strong. 🎗️

~ Knives Out

when the wind blows,
it causes shivers and knives
throughout my whole body
causing pain all at once,
like an explosion never-ending
once the disaster is over,
ash falls from the sky above
onto the
so fresh
so pure
so cold
blood stained,
white snow below
so innocent
so pure
so undeserving
but somehow, still deserving this pain
it's a toxic cycle

CM 🎗

~ Psycho

the urge to rip out our own f**king guts
sends us spiraling out of control
like a mad woman,
wanting to rip out our Goddamn hair
endometriosis ruins lives
till the f**king dread of an end

CM 🎗