An Autobiography ~

~ Endo Has Ruined my Life

If you're like me and you want to ease the pain by using the hot water bottle which will be your new best friend but please do be careful not to overuse it. Because unlike me, I did just that and burnt my belly and pelvic area and now I have burns that have destroyed my skin cells and now my lower abdomen looks like burnt toast. {Like, the picture on the book cover}. This rush like burn is called Erythema ab igne or {a hot water bottle rash} and this pigmentation is due to a constant prolonged exposure to direct heat, henceforth causing erythema and hyperpigmentation and thus, permanent on the surface of the skin. This rush is the recognition of persistent pain and a symbol of long-term chronic pain. But unfortunately, I NEED the hot water bottle because nothing else can take away the pain unlike no other apart from pain medication but I hate taking pills but I know when I NEED it I definitely NEED it but that doesn't change the fact that I still hate it.

The pain is painful. I know, that's pretty vague but it's the truth. Like, what I've already mentioned, the anguish can last all day and last for weeks for me whenever it's a really bad flare up. The flare up let alone can destroy all one's happiness from the world just like that from a click of a finger. However, the person sitting next to you would have absolutely no idea because hiding the anguish is a better idea than crying in public. Crying at home alone and crying in the shower is where the rave is all at. That's the thing with pain, pain is a fickle thing.

~ F**k Endo

f**k pain
f**k this life
the doctors say,
'we can be pain free'
but that was a lie we let ourselves believe in
the whole thing was a f**king lie
f**k endo
endo can go f**k itself.

CM 🎗

~ Opaque Glass

i cry,
because of you.

CM 🎗