An Autobiography ~

~ The Ugly Truth Behind Endometriosis

Unfortunately, I got told many times by leading professionals, doctors and Gynaecologists that I should consider getting a Hysterectomy at the age of 18 as they would say I would be Pain-Free. A Hysterectomy is a major surgery that consists of the removal of the uterus, the cervix, the ovaries, the fallopian tubes and other surrounding internal female reproductive organs. So, at the age of 18 I was scared to say the least. But I said NO. Please don't listen to anyone who tells you to get a Hysterectomy at the age of 18 as that is a lie. If there is a serious/major problem where you need a Hysterectomy because it will lead to cancer or other major health concerns and then listen to your doctor, of course. But if your doctor only says, 'You should really consider getting a Hysterectomy. You will be Pain-Free.' There's that word again, "Pain-Free" what a strange way to go about it by ripping out your entire female reproductive system when in actual fact, getting a Hysterectomy doesn't cure you as it makes no difference as the disease grows right back in 1 year or in 2 years.

Unfortunately, what they don't tell you about Endometriosis is that it can grow right back and only getting 3 surgeries is the maximum amount of surgeries you should have as it causes more scar tissue to form and can or may increase the pain in the pelvic floor area. You can also consider getting Botox injected into your pelvic floor area which is what I did to help the pain but the pain is inevitable and it's really expensive. So what your doctor has been telling you has all been mostly lies. Not all, but most. Endometriosis is a very misconception and misleading disease and we need answers and a cure! Unfortunately, they don't want to cure Endo and they definitely won't make Endometriosis to become more recognised. Because they get too much money for all the surgeries, all the appointments, ect... So, tell me why would they give that up for a stupid cure? Exactly right...They won't give up the charade! Because They don't care! Unfortunately, it's rare if they care. They just want your money. It's really sad but that's just the way it is and how the world works now when you're chronically ill. Not always but mostly the case.

~ Explosions

fireworks explode in my belly
every day
every night
but not the good kind

CM 🎗

~ Pathetic, You Are

we're defenseless and fearful of our life
causing never-ending strife
we're harrowing out in pain
crying silently as the watercolours from our eyes rain
we're waiting for someone to rescue us
but we're drowning in the deep, blue sea
we're frozen and still on the cold floor
watching the tears slowly fall
with each and every breath drawn
we feel lost and broken
while in the middle of the darkness of dawn
how pathetic are we?
we cry, we sigh
we're normal, again
but if anyone can already tell, we pretend
we're non-existent on this continent
worthless underneath the surface
because of the pain

CM 🎗

~ The True Story of Pain

i know, the prescriptions are apart of the illness
we expected the side-effects
i know, the pain is apart of the illness
we expected the symptoms
i know, the depression and anxiety is apart of the illness
we expected the loneliness
i know, the healing is apart of the illness
we expected the exhaustion
we never expected the illness to ruin and take control over our lives
nobody told us the truth
but now you know

CM 🎗