An Autobiography ~

~ A Sad Tale of a Chronically Ill Woman

It's true. It is a sad tale of a chronically ill woman. The things we have to deal with on a daily basis it's outright insane. The doctors never help the situation even though it's their job to help. Being in that waiting room causes a constant fear of anxiety every time you walk through that door and sit and awkwardly stare as you lose every train of thought. You feel every eye and stare glancing your way. You look down at the ground or fiddle with your hands or feet as you patiently wait, sitting in a pool of sweat. The anxiety alone could kill. When you're finally in the doctor's office and you believe shortening your pain/symptoms list as you feel, you might feel you're being silly or dramatic and overthinking the pain. Most of the time the doctor's don't listen to your pleading and assume you're making up nonsense when you tell the doctor, 'I still get chronic Endo pain whether or not I'm on my period,' and the doctor still misunderstands you. So, you just sit there listening to the doctor putting you down, talking down to you, telling you, 'Your pain is all in your head.' 'You need Hypnotherapy because the pain isn't real.' 'Have you tried meditation or yoga and eating positively?' 'You should really consider getting a Hysterectomy. You will be Pain-Free.' They're all lies. Don't listen to them but it's hard not too. Not only were my doctors saying that to me mostly every visit, some close people were saying it too, unfortunately. Just some people will never understand the silent disease of Endometriosis. But they all want us silent and so that's exactly what we do, we stay quiet. But please know you're not alone in this. Know that the pain is NOT in your head. This pain is real as real as you. I know the pain can control you but you have to fight back. I believe you. I validate you. Stay strong, my friend. 🎗

~ A Sad World

isn't it funny,
how we must make our list of symptoms of our pain
narrowing the list shorter than it actually was when seeing the doctor
just to be able to be taken seriously and seen as, "normal" or seen as, "human"
it's just sad.
it's a sad world we live in.

CM 🎗