An Autobiography ~

~ Nightmare on Pain Street

The symptoms of Endometriosis {Endo} let alone is a nightmare to live with and it's a nightmare every moment I live and breathe and breathing let alone causes never-ending debilitating anguish that sets fire to my body over and over again, leaving nothing behind but brunt marks and open scars deeply wounded beneath my weak skin.

The truest list of Endo pain which consists of: minor, to mild, to moderat, to severe, to chronic, to debilitating, to knife-like, to extreme—breathing pain, chest pain, vagina pain, pelvis pain, ovary pain, bladder pain, bowel pain, anal pain, joint aches and pains, body aches and pains, body numbness, body aches, body exhaustion, body cramps, body pain, leg numbness, leg aches, leg cramps, leg pain, belly aches and pain, abdomen aches and pain, stomachaches, stomach cramps, stomach pain, stomach spasms, lower-back pain, lower-back cramps, lower-back aches, physical strain, mental strain, headaches, migraines, period pain, intercourse pain, pain after intercourse, urinating pain, pain when releasing one bowels, increases the effect and pain of depression and anxiety.

The truest list of Endo symptoms which consists of: minor, to mild, to moderat, to severe, to chronic, to debilitating, to knife-like, to extreme—PMS symptoms, breast tenderness, low libido/no libido, mood swings, acne, hormonal acne, skin dryness, food sensitivities, Irritable Bowel Syndrome {IBS} symptoms, body numbness, vertigo, dizziness, brain fog, forgetfulness, bad circulation of hands and feet, constipation, diarrhoea, bloating, nausea, fatigue, gassy, overall exhaustion, out of breath, breathing difficulties, hot sweats and cold sweats, sweating, hot flashes and cold flushes, body dysmorphia, painful periods, heavy bleeding/flow, spotting/blood clots, pain/bleeding during intercourse and after intercourse, pain during urinating and releasing one bowels, difficulties conceiving, chronic/debilitating pelvic and uterus pain every day even when one's not on a period, chronic/debilitating pelvic and uterus pain during a period, chronic/debilitating stomach and lower abdomen pain every day even when one's not on a period, chronic/debilitating stomach and lower abdomen pain during a period.

~ The Story of Us

i cried,
the end.

CM 🎗

~ Sharp as a Knife

the pain causes anguish growing in our belly
but we know, it's the one holding the knife
ready to strike at any given moment
we fear for our life whenever that moment might happen
and it will happen
we wish it would hurry up and finish the job it already started
getting it over and done with it already
rather than leaving us to wonder or anxiously waiting
for the next strike to happen

CM 🎗

~ Trauma

we haven't experienced much
but pain
we have experienced
be kind
be gentle
be patient
love yourself
trauma is a battle
dealing with trauma is a battlefield
it's exhausting
mentally and physically

CM 🎗