Chapter 4
Dreams Become Realities

"So, we've come to a conclusion then? Mikan's free to move around on her own?" Fuyuhiko's voice rang out as we discussed her condition in the restaurant.

Souda leaned back in his seat, "I don't see why not," he sighed, "She's basically back to normal."

"Okay, but, what if just like," he snapped, "and she goes back into her Ultimate Despair? She can escape the island, and go and try to be another successor for Junko or something, like that kid Monaca is doing, right?"

"Then we continue having me and Akane accompany her until we know for sure she can be alone," Sonia spoke up, looking patiently at him.

"But that's the thing!" Fuyuhiko's voice raised, "We don't know, we never will know for sure if they will be okay. You've seen Nagito-- that bastard has been off and on with his Ultimate Despair. Granted, I'm guessing that's also part of his twisted personality, in general, but still." He sat back in his seat, seeming exhausted.

"I'll still watch over him, just as Sonia and Akane will watch over Mikan. And when the others wake up, we'll just see how it is from there." I finished, seeing Fuyuhiko glare at me.

" 'When', you say?" I heard him scoff, "Yeah, I'm so fucking confident that Peko and Koizumi and all the fucking others will wake up," he spat, shoving himself out of his seat.

"Fuyuhiko!" Sonia ran after him, trying to comfort him by placing a hand on his shoulder, him only brushing her off.

She eventually gave up, turning back around to look at the three of us remaining. "I . . . I should go." She curtsied, leaving closely behind him.

Souda got up, chasing after her, as usual. Akane and I shared a couple moments of silence.

"What do you think, Akane?"

She sighed, taking a bite of her food, "I don't know. I'm not good with this stuff, remember?" She then picked up her plate, leaving the restaurant, as well. I was left with questions starting to form in my head, doubts and uncertainties surfacing more.

I decided to retreat back to Nagito's cabin, seeking if just a little comfort.

The usual reaction, "Ah, Hajime!" he opened up his arms, me filling them shortly after, accepting his reassuring embrace. "How are you?" he looked up at me with a smile, rubbing his cheek onto my chest more.

"Ah . . ." I gave a small sigh, feeling my body become numb as I thought of all that's happened. "Can . . . Can I lay down, Nagito?"

"Hm?" he lifted his head off my chest, looking up at me with concern now. "Oh, um, sure." He scooted over a bit, myself going to the other side of the bed to curl up, facing him.

He turned over, as well, leaning on his side with me. I guess he sensed that I would just like some quiet moments, laying here with him. He placed his new hand on my side, his other under my cheek between the pillow and it. I caressed it, closing my eyes with the soothing gesture. After a while, I ended up curling into his chest, his arms wrapped around me as I fell into a light sleep, too exhausted and too tired to deal with all we had to deal with.

. . .

I . . . heard something.

It's . . . very calming to hear.

I really like the sound . . . of this.

Is . . . Is someone singing?

. . .

"Tell me it's nothing . . . Try to convince me . . . That I'm not drowning . . ."

It sounds . . . sad.

Bittersweet, but . . . lonely.

"Oh let me tell you, I am . . ."

I felt someone . . . holding me.

Their voice . . . it sang with delicacy.

"Please, please tell me you know . . . I've got to let you go . . . I can't help falling . . . Out of love with you . . ."

Opening my eyes, I blinked a couple times, everything coming into focus.

He was sitting up, my head in his lap, his arms around me, his gaze towards the shining moon outside the window.

"Why am I feeling so guilty? . . . Why am I holding my breath? . . .Worry about everyone but me . . . I just keep losing myself . . ."

He took in a breath, letting it go. He hadn't noticed I was awake.

"Tell me it's nothing . . . Try to convince me . . . That I'm not drowning . . . Oh let me tell you, I am . . ."

He was singing . . .

His singing was so . . . beautiful.

I fell back asleep, seemingly unnoticed by him.

I decided to keep the moment to myself.

. . .

I was reluctant to go back to the library, but Komaeda went as far as to almost begging me to go. But, I only agreed to it if he let me carry him on my back, which only seemed to make him happier.

So, here I was, carrying him on his back, myself also rolling his oxygen tank with us somehow. Even now, I'm sighing at the thought of me taking in all of this weight. Though, I guess he didn't weigh that much.

We arrived, I sat him down, and off he went to search for more books. He looked the shelves up and down, reading through the titles, examining their covers. I was possibly enjoying seeing him to intrigued. Okay, maybe definitely, but still. It was nice to see him become so happy with his hobby. He sat down at the table we sat at before, myself going to pick out the book I was reading to finish it. We sat in silence for a while. I may have secretly put my hand on the table for him to hold, and he may have secretly known what I wanted him to do, taking up the opportunity without refusal, holding the book with his new hand.

I still continued to wonder what that was like for him -- especially being able to control it, for that matter. A simple prosthetic is one thing, but now technology has become so far advanced that this can happen. I have to admire the Future Foundation and Alter Ego for making this for him.

He continued reading with a small smile on his face, rubbing his fingers gently on my knuckles, myself returning to mine.

. . .

Someone burst into the library, out of breath, shouting our names afterwards. "Hajime! Komaeda! C-Come on, quickly! I-Ibuki's waking up! Come on!" Sonia rushed towards us, pushing me out of my seat with little force.

"O-Okay!" I felt adrenaline rush through me, myself immediately starting to pack up Komaeda's oxygen tank. Sonia rushed back out, yelling back towards us, "I have to find Fuyuhiko! Please just make it back!"

I then felt a hand on my shoulder, and I turned back around to see Komaeda giving me a smile. "It's okay, Hajime. Just leave me here for now, go see what all the commotion is about, okay? I'll just be reading. Go on, now," he gave me a little shove, turning away from me. I was hesitant to leave, but as I took the first few steps backwards, I started running.

I knew it! I knew they would start waking up! I just knew it!

I felt a smile on my face, the wind surrounding me as I rushed quickly towards the cottages.

Completely out of breath, I bent over, catching it the best I could before entering Ibuki's cottage.

She, too, was hysterical.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" she shrieked, running frantically and clawing at her arm where her IV was. She continued, "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Before I knew it, being consumed with shock by her screaming, she plucked out her IV, throwing around the machines, picking up a metal tray, and hitting it across my head.

Out-cold I went, down onto the floor.

. . .

Distorted . . . talking . . .

Mumbling . . .

Hmm . . . what's going on . . .

Where . . . is Nagito?

Is . . . Is he okay? . . .

"--jime . . ."

"Ha-- . . ." . . . "--jime . . ."

. . .

Hmm . . .

Dreams . . . Nagito has . . . dreams, right?

. . . I wonder . . . If they've . . . Came true . . .

"Hajime . . ."

Ah, it's his voice . . .

He sounds . . . so calming . . .

I . . . I love him.

Right, that's right . . .

. . .

My eyes were being blinded for a moment. Pure white, just shining through.

Then, they opened. Slowly, then all at once . . .

I found Komaeda looking at me, Mikan on the other side, shining a light in my eyes.

"Oh, good, he's awake . . ." Mikan sighed, heading back over to the apparent machines that were now hooked up to me. Cords were strung up on my chest, I felt a pounding pain in my head.

I felt my consciousness wanting to fade again, but Komaeda caught my head before I fell back onto the pillow, lifting it gently.

"Hey, Hinata-kun . . ." he gave a small smile, leaning closer towards me, placing a kiss on my forehead.

It somehow felt nostalgic. I felt I knew this situation before.

"K-Kom--" he placed his hand to my mouth, shushing me calmly.

"Please, it's okay," he nodded, looking back over towards Mikan.

I noticed they were in their normal clothes. Mikan was in her nurse uniform. Nagito was in his normal clothes, his green jacket and all . . .

I saw Mikan looking over me again, beginning to speak, "H-Hajime, you were unconscious for about a day, things are okay, please don't worry."

I glanced around the room. It was my own cottage. Just . . . transformed into a hospital room.

Mikan spoke up again, "I need to g-go check on I-Ibuki, please, N-Nagito, watch him f-for me?"

He nodded, sitting in a chair beside my bed, talking a-hold of my left hand. I felt dizzy, out-of-focus.

"I'm sorry, Hinata-kun," he expressed, "I must have snooped a little bit in your room. I couldn't help but notice my picture in your mirror. It really . . . made me feel special."

I tilted my head more towards him, still completely deranged. I couldn't help but notice his outfit.

He seemed to take notice to me, giving a carefree laugh, "Ah, I changed appearance, didn't I? Well, I'll have you know, I am just fine! Mikan and I both have been, what I can only say is better," his grip tightened just a bit more on my hand. "I guess I have you to thank, once again, Hinata-kun. You . . . have done so much for just a piece of filth like me."

He brought my hand to his mouth, kissing it. "I'm . . . I'm sorry."

I heard him choke back a sob. "I-I-I'm . . . sorry . . ."

Soon I felt his head on my chest, I heard his quiet sobs.

"H-How can I r-repay you, Hajime? Please . . . I-I need to do s-something, right?"

I felt him fumble with my pants zipper. I couldn't hardly move without my head hurting me like hell. But, I managed to place my hand on his shoulder, easing him back slightly.

He looked at me with tears falling down his face, waiting for an answer. I shook my head once, and he seemed to understand, laying his head on my chest, as I leaned back into my pillow and fell into a restless sleep.

. . .

I woke up seeing Komaeda sleeping on my chest, arms underneath his head.

I still felt the striking pain in my head. It was nighttime outside.

Raising my left hand, I placed it on his head, stroking his hair to give me some comfort. He opened his eyes slowly, and then looked at me.

"Ah, Hajime," he whispered, "How are you feeling?"

I gave a sigh, leaning back into my pillow. I managed to shrug my shoulders before paying attention to my striking pain.

He looked at me with a tired expression, him giving a sympathetic smile.

I heard him shuffling as I closed my eyes, myself only expecting him to turn his head or something along those lines.

But, I felt something else entirely. Again, he was fumbling with my zipper.

I shot my head up, feeling the pain, placing my hand on his shoulder to ease him back.

He looked at me with glassy eyes, almost pleading, "Please, Hajime."

My face was hot, my skull was pounding. I couldn't resist in this state I was in anymore.

"Somehow . . ." I heard Komaeda speak, pulling down my pants, fingertips on the lining of my boxers, "I will . . . repay you, for all you've done for someone like me. I will do anything."

I felt my body tense up, my face become even more hot. This wasn't good. K-Komaeda, no . . .

But, it was too late.

. . .

I won't necessarily go into detail what happened, but you can take a pretty good guess.

I don't know what he was thinking . . . I honestly don't.

But, when I opened my eyes the following morning, he was asleep next to me, clothes off, sheets covering him where he needed to be covered. Apparently, the same thing was for me.

The window was closed, the door was locked. I don't know if he somehow planned it, but . . .

I wouldn't necessarily want to have done this while having this pounding headache and most-likely concussion, but . . .

I guess, you could say, it was expected.

Just like myself holding him, my head in the nape of his neck, myself starting to kiss it.

I felt him shuffle a bit, and then turned over in my arms, kissing me.

Letting go, he whispered to me, eyes still tired and innocent, "I . . . I think I could have this feeling for you forever, Hajime. It's . . . something I've never felt before."

. . .

"I . . . absolutely adore you."

. . .

Later that day, I was still strung up in the bed, Mikan tending to me now and then, Komaeda staying by my side.

"Komaeda, don't you want to go out and walk on your own, now that you're able to?"

He gave a smile, taking a hold of my right hand with his two. Then he shook his head, bringing my hand to his lips, kissing gently on the back of it. Continuing to hold it for a little while longer, we heard a knock.

"Oh, come in!" he jumped up from his seat, going to the door and opening it. Fuyuhiko was the one to go past the door, looking at me, then at Komaeda.

"H-Hey, um, can I talk to Hajime alone for a moment?"

I saw Komaeda glance back at me, and then at him. "Oh, yeah. I'll be in the way, I'm sorry. I'll go," and with that, he stepped out the door, closing it behind him.

Fuyuhiko came to my bedside, sitting in the seat where Komaeda was. "Hey, how are you feeling?"

I shrugged, "Better, at least. The headaches only come sometimes now. How about you, Fuyuhiko?"

He was looking down at the floor, hands held out in front of him on his knee-caps. "I'm . . . still worried. Maybe even more than before," he sighed, "If this is how Ibuki woke up, slamming a tray on your head and giving you a concussion, then . . . how about Peko? What about the others?"

I stayed silent for a moment, considering, "Well, look at how greatly Mikan and Komaeda have recovered-- and they were the one's who knew about Ultimate Despair in the simulation, one's we'd think would be the most hysterical. Sure, Mikan was moreover than Komaeda, but . . . look at how far she's come, Fuyuhiko. Ibuki will surely come back to normal." He looked up at me now, with what I could see tears in his eyes.

"Fuyuhiko, she will come back. I know Peko will, just like everyone else. They all can. I have hope for them. Ibuki was able to wake up, one small, insignificant chance of waking up, and she did. I don't know when all the others will wake up. It's been half a year now, and only three have woken up. But, that's still better than none at all, right?"

He stood up, pacing a bit before coming back over to my bedside, placing a hand on my shoulder, "You're a good guy, Hajime. Thank you for talking with me."

I nodded, placing my hand on his shoulder, as well, bidding him goodbye.

After he left, I was expecting Komaeda to come back soon. I waited. Fifteen minutes, thirty minutes, then an hour . . .

Ah, he should be enjoying his time alone, anyways. He's finally not cooped up in his bed, it's good for him to be by himself again without me bothering him.

Mikan came in, checking my head, changing the bandage where the bruise was. Ibuki had apparently hit me so hard that it had split my forehead open, leaving a gash, too.

I winced in pain, Mikan always saying sorry afterwards. Then, she spoke up again, "H-Hajime, maybe you can go out for a walk, if you'd like, to just get up and out of bed. I can accompany you."

"Ah, that sounds wonderful." I lifted my legs out of the bed, being slow to not spark another headache. She helped me out of bed completely, leading me to the door. We started walking around the pool in the courtyard, myself admiring the sunset.

A question popped up in my head, "Mikan, how is Ibuki now?"

"She . . . still isn't in the best condition. I have to keep giving her shots to keep her hysteria down. She m-mostly sleeps now."

"I see. Well, I'm glad she's at least awake."

Mikan continued stepping along with me, helping me when I became dizzy. "Y-You know, Hajime, i-it really is a m-miracle that you didn't have any m-memory loss. I-It could have been even fatal, h-how she hit you."

"It's okay now, Mikan. Thank you for your concern for me."

She gave a smile, starting to now lead me back to my cabin, helping me lay back down after a couple more laps around the pool. "I-I believe you may be able to walk on your own in a couple days. Please, let someone accompany you, though, f-for about a week."

I nodded, leaning back onto the pillow. "Goodnight, H-Hajime." she bowed, leaving the room, turning the lights off before I could say goodnight back.

I started looking out the window, noticing how dark it had became in such a short time.

My chest was starting to hurt, I felt as though I was missing something. My vision was becoming blurry, I felt warm streaks sliding down my face. I turned over, facing away from my door. Even when I heard it open and close silently, I didn't turn back around to see who it was, or who crawled into bed with me, holding me in their chest from behind. I felt their breath on the back of my neck, my shoulders tensing slightly, feeling them cuddle more into my back.

"I'm sorry I'm late, Hinata-kun," Nagito sighed, his fingertips playing with the lining of my hospital gown, releasing the knot in front, easing it off my right shoulder. He started kissing it, all the way to my neck, then made his way to the tip of my ear.

I felt my hands grab his, holding them to comfort me, to ease my sanity. I relished more with his gentle touch, relaxing more until I finally fell asleep.

. . .

A week passed, Mikan officially released me to be able to walk with the company of someone. Today we made our way to the beach, relaxing on the sand.

"Oh, I just love how warm it is here, Hinata-kun!" Komaeda laughed, taking his shoes and jacket off. I took my shoes off, as well, sitting down our basket and placing myself underneath the same palm tree. By the shore, in the corner of my eye, I saw Komaeda taking off his shirt and pants, as well, leaving him in his boxers, practically skipping into the ocean water.

"K-Komaeda! Wh-What are you--?"

"Come on, Hinata-kun! Come out in the water with me!" he shouted back, stepping more into the water.

Sighing, I guessed I had no other choice. Taking off my shirt and pants, as well, I made my way over to him, feeling a bit embarrassed. "Well, come on! The water's fine!" he gave his carefree smile, holding his arms out to nowhere in particular.

I took a few steps into the sea, feeling the water. I found him stepping closer to me, myself doing the same. Then, he splashed me right on my face.

"Wh--!!" I shrieked almost, catching on to his little game. "Alright, I see how it is. Come here!" I reached out for him, him starting to wander away, laughing with a happiness I could only think of being genuine.

Because, as I was playfully chasing him, letting him catch his breath when he needed to because of his weak stamina, I think I was having a great time, as well. Full of genuine happiness I've only honestly felt with him, and him alone.

I caught up to him, picking him up from behind and swinging him slightly in the air, setting him back down, him turning around in my arms as I held his sides. I felt dizzy slightly, leaning onto him a little more to try and stop a headache.

Nagito smiled, placing his hand on my forehead, sliding it down to my cheek, caressing it. I felt a bit more at ease, the dizziness started to fade if just a little.

A little while later, we sat under the palm tree with our basket of food, sharing a watermelon slice.

I was starting to realize that myself getting hit by that metal tray was apart of Komaeda's luck. It affects me, just as he said it would. I didn't let him know this, of course, because I'm sure he already knew. Because, he was acting more cautious than usual around me, even more so than he already had always been. I knew deep down that he probably felt guilty, wanting to shove me away so that way I wouldn't get hurt. But, I won't leave. I'll suffer, just as he always has.

In the corner of my eye, I saw him taking a bite, glancing back at me with light in his eyes. I could hear him laugh a bit, as his damp hair continued to drip onto his shoulders.
Some people may call me stubborn, but . . . I guess it doesn't really matter now. I could just see Komaeda treating me the same way, right? He wouldn't leave me, right? I glanced over at him, seeing him looking out towards the sea again, leaving me in a small daze. He took another bite, I felt myself being warmed by the sun.
"Hajime? What's wrong?" he looked at me with a smile, "I'm a bit sensitive to the sun, too. That's why I usually like preferring shade. But, of course, I love the beach, anyways."
I laid down on the sand, feeling the hotness of it for a couple moments, closing my eyes to shield them from the sun. I just wanted to enjoy hearing him talk for a few minutes.
"And, hey, you know, even in the simulation when we went here together, it feels just the same as now. I'm so happy to continue this . . . I honestly don't think I can express my happiness anymore around you, Hajime."
I felt myself being shaded from above, I opened my eyes to see him looking down at me with another smile.
"Hajime," he said in a condescending tone, "You're not falling asleep on me, are you?"
"Hm?" I looked at his figure, feeling his damp hair start to drip on me from above, "No, why?"
"Well it sure looks like it," he leaned down, pressing his head on my chest.
"Komaeda, what are you doing?" I strained my eyes to look at him, feeling his damp hair continue to brush across my skin.
"Sleeping, why?"
I sighed, placing my head back on the sand, my hand on the back of his. I didn't answer him, myself falling into a light sleep.
I wonder if someday something like this could happen in our separate life. One that will be away from all of what we've had to deal with. I . . . I don't really know. I mean, this is okay, right? Just . . . us, lying here, happy.
Chiaki . . . this is okay, right?
I wonder how she is doing. Maybe she's watching us right now, somehow? I don't know. I don't get the whole afterlife thing, but . . .
I hope, wherever she is, she's happy. Maybe just as happy as we are right now, laying on the sand, sun shining on us from above. Hardly having a care about what all has happened, if only for a minute or two. Just . . . distracted. No needing to be worried whether our other friends will wake up or not, or if Junko will come back to power, or if Komaeda will revert to Ultimate Despair and possibly not love m-- . . .
Oh, what am I thinking, Chiaki?
. . .
I found myself in the restaurant now, dining with Komaeda, as if it were still a normal day.
We enjoyed our time at the beach, then made our way back here, just relaxing as if nothing were to bother us. Maybe, possibly, it could be like this forever. Someday, hopefully.
. . .
"Komaeda?" I called out, seeing him messing with his jacket.
"Hm, hm?" he continued focusing on it, not looking up at me.
I don't know why I was worrying about this so much. That he . . . could possibly leave me.
Am . . . Am I afraid of that?
I guess I am.
I must have stayed silent for too long, because he finally looked up, seeing my worry plastered on my face. "What's going on, Hajime? You've been acting a bit strange today . . . Is everything okay?" I felt his hand be placed on the back of mine, the usual of his fingertips brushing across my knuckles.
"Can . . . Can we just go for a walk?" I asked, feeling a lump in the back of my throat.
"Hmph. You're making me go a lot of places today, hm? Alright, anything for you, after all," he took my hand, standing up, pulling me gently. I trudged behind him for few moments, all the way to the central island.
"Hey," he spoke in a worried tone, turning around, letting go of my hand. "What's wrong, Hajime? Please, tell me. I want to be here for you, too."
I didn't look at him, I kept my head down. Eventually I felt his fingers under my chin, making me look at him. I saw his features, his gray eyes, his light hair, his fair skin . . .
"Is she bothering you again?" he guessed, I felt his hand caress my left cheek. "Or is it about something I've done?" he continued to ask, looking at me with a worried expression. I continued my silence, I seemed to lose my voice.
"I'm not leaving this spot until you tell me, Hinata-kun," he gave a firm glare, making me feel even more insignificant.
Is he mad?
Am . . . Am I doing this all wrong?
Why . . . Why am I losing my voice?
. . .
Panicking.
Plan A failure.
No Plan B.
Shaking.
Hyperventilating.
Pass out from hysteria.
Rebooting.
Rebooting . . .
Collapse entirely from worry.
. . .
I felt myself being held. I felt . . . so comfortable.
My eyes opened slowly, I was in a dark place.
"Oh, you're finally awake, Hajime?"
. . . Huh?
Who . . . Whose voice is this?
"That's it, come on now, it's okay. Look at me."
I felt their hand being placed on my forehead. My vision was too blurry. It was too dark. I couldn't see whoever it was.
"It's a shame that all of this has happened, isn't it, Hajime?" they sighed, bringing my body closer to theirs, holding me like a child.
I felt their soft fingertips brush my bangs on my forehead.
They gave another long sigh, holding me a bit tighter, "Ah, if only I could really see you again. I guess this will have to do, though. You are here, after all."
"I miss my father and sister very much . . . But, I chose to look after you, so I guess it's expected. I'm so happy my brother has been taking such good care of you all. He's doing such a remarkable job with everything . . . I admire him so much."
It was still dark, I couldn't see anything though I knew my eyes were open.
They continued to talk, I still couldn't make out who it was.
"I may have even been rooting for you and Komaeda to be together all this time, I don't know exactly, myself. But, all I know is that I'm just so happy to see you two together. You both . . . complete one another. Even more than perhaps you and I."
This voice . . .
"Ch-Chiaki?" I stuttered, I felt tears forming in my eyes, though I was still in complete blackness.
"Ah, you've finally recognized me, Hajime?" she gave a small laugh, "Strange what type of dimension we're in, isn't it? Well, it's not as much as a dimension as it is a dream."
"Because," she spoke out, her hands running through my hair. I . . . I could see-- . . . light? "Sometimes, dreams . . ."
A light was shining somewhere above, I . . . I could see her. "Become realities."
Then I went out-cold, once again, falling into a deep, mournful sleep.
. . .