five

The next couple of days were like any other. Wake up without Asra, get ready for a day of work, eat, more work, then bed again without Asra. Piper had been delayed because of something her father said, which left me rather lonely. Because of this, I was making more of an effort to find Asra. Today I had worked in the kitchen for the breakfast shift but had the afternoon 'off'. Of course, being off never truly happened because I focused my attention on preparing for the council meeting in two days' time.

I decided to write notes in Asra's office, but upon arrival found he wasn't here. Instead, the room was empty and void of any life. I pursed my lips as I looked around, taking in the rather bland décor. He had some books, and a photo of his mother, sure, but that wasn't exactly the decoration it needed.

Maybe, just maybe, I should revamp this room, too. I had already fixed the porch, and now it was full of vibrant yellow and blue paints, sparkling fairy lights and comfy fuzzy pillows on a bench swing. Asra's room just needed some life. I couldn't image working twelve hours a day in this space. The windows looked at the forest in the distance, but that was it.

Perhaps he just needs a plant. A plant does a lot of work without you asking it too.

I sat down in a chair opposite his desk and cleared some space for my notepad. I slowly filled the first page with thought bubbles of topics I wanted to cover before branching off on a new page for each one. The more I grew into it, the less I noticed how lonely it was. I even began to sing and hum softly, pacing and dancing the room as I gazed down at the notebook.

Asra walked in when I was hanging upside down from the sofa with the pen between my teeth. It surprised him to see me; cocking his head to get a better angle. But he looked tired, and I dropped the notes from my face to look up at him.

"Butterscotch!"

His lips quirked. "Tulip, how long have you been in here?"

"Enough to go insane." I grinned.

"And you are upside down because you became insane?"

Rolling my eyes, I bent backwards until I landed upright on my knees. "No, that was already a fact before I stepped into the room."

Asra chuckled softly, stepping closer to wrap his hands around mine. He pulled me to my feet before grasping my cheeks and pulling me in for a kiss. Already squashed between his rough palms, I laughed softly when he pulled away.

"Hello to you too." I grinned.

He hummed, going to sit at his desk. "Why are you in here? Not that I want rid of you. It's nice to see you in the daytime."

"Tell me about it." I murmured, sitting opposite him. "Why are you so busy?"

He sighed. "It is soon to be springtime."

"So?"

"The annual hunt."

"Oh." I mumbled. "That."

"Yes, exactly."

"You're planning it already?" I wondered. "It's barely ."

"It takes a lot of planning, unfortunately." He sighed. "Maps, routes, numbers, people, packs... A lot of finer details, so nobody crosses any unwanted lines and breaks the treaty."

I scowled at the mention of the treaty. Stupid treaty.

"I know you hate it, Tulip. Trust me, it is not something I want to even think about anymore."

"Really?" I frowned. "But... you are a wolf. It is what you do."

He shook his head. "Ailia, the hunt where I found you was the first one I went on in four years."

"Why?" I wondered.

"Because I did not care for it." He stated. "I did not want to hunt a human when my mother was one. I did not want a human for a mate, either."

A sour note, but one I couldn't help smirk at the irony of.

"Yet, there I was." I mused. "Bleeding to death, broken bones and losing my marbles."

"You never had any marbles." He interrupted.

I laughed, loudly. "Hey!"

Asra chuckled, eyeing me before looking back at his computer. "What I would do to go back and tell myself to not act like a dick."

"You would still be a dick." I fired back at him. "That wouldn't change."

He growled playfully. "I should've claimed you the day I met you."

"Like hell you should've." I scoffed. "I would've beaten you with my own broken bones to get off me. Snap 'em right out of my skin and hit you across the head with it."

He grinned. "Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"You're saying you didn't like me back then?"

"Nope!" I tutted. "Stinky dog."

He bared his teeth mischievously. "Don't hear you complaining. I'm a dog when you're on your hands and knees before me."

"Oh, I do." I crossed my arms. "In my head. To Piper. In my sleep. Just to name a few."

"Is that so?" He grinned.

"Yep!" I giggled. "Why would I even go near a stinky dog?"

"Give the dog a bone and you'll see." He winked.

My upper lip curled in disgust at his joke. Hinting at how I would hit him with my own bones and turning it sexual, was peak Asra humour.

"Why am I even here?" I whispered.

He laughed this time. "I asked you that myself."

Rolling my eyes, I slapped my notepad down on his desk and leaned forward. Scanning my latest notes, my eyebrows crinkled with confusion. What the fuck was I even writing about?

Looking at the clock on the wall, I realised I had been in here just over an hour. Snapping my gaze back to Asra as he typed on the keyboard, I grimaced.

"Where were you, anyway? I thought you had lots of work to do."

"I did training."

"Did training?"

"I oversaw it with Rio." He nodded, glancing away from the screen for a split second. "I joined in too."

I gasped, surprised. "Really? How was it?"

Asra had been struggling to join in with training ever since the whole... basically end of the world thing. Pack members had been wary of him, but the ritual seemed to clear that up. The Moon Goddess had blessed them with the chance of forgiveness and understanding, but Asra was still unsure. He did not want to push them, not want to trigger something in their psyche that may not be healed.

It only made me wonder just how brutal he really had been.

But it also made me proud. Silly, right? But it did. Why? Because it meant that Asra thought that deeply and empathetically that he even considered harming somebody. Mental health and trauma were hard to understand, but Asra had learned pretty easily how to open his mind to it. He accepted me wholly and gave me freedom to discover myself, but understanding why was the hardest part. Yet, to me, I think he nailed it.

"It went well, actually."

"Well? Tell me more!"

He chuckled. "Ailia, I have to-

"Work and talk!" I rolled my eyes. "Do you know nothing?"

Asra smirked, but listened as I commanded. His fingers and eyes wandered as he told me all about his training. He started as training himself alone, before observing on the side-lines, and letting Rio lead the session. Then he joined in, and before he knew it, they were sparring and he even said-

"I just felt myself loosen up. It was nice to be the one to spar and not take control of it all."

"That's nice." I smiled up at him. "Did you win?"

"Of course." He snorted, rolling his eyes. "After that, I joined in with Rio. I forgot how fun it can be."

"And now you are back here doing..." My eyes wandered as I squinted at the screen. "Man, I need to go back to school."

Asra frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I do not know what half of those words say." I shook my head.

"That bad?"

I scowled at him. "I was in school until I was twelve. That's only my primary years. I had no grammar or spelling after that. Arabella can read all these amazing books and I'm stuck at some of the harder ones."

"Do you want to go back to school?"

I laughed sarcastically. "Hell, no."

"Then I don't understand." He shook his head.

"I want to learn, but I don't want to go back to hell."

Asra chuckled. "Okay, okay. I get it... What word don't you understand?"

I chewed my lip as I scanned the meticulous forms on his computer. Silently, I pointed out the fist word I didn't understand.

"Ephemeral." He repeated back to me. "It means it doesn't last long. Like fashion or weather."

I hummed, nodding softly before pointing to another.

"Fortuitous." He murmured. "When something is fortunate to happen by chance."

I continued this for a moment, pointing silently at a word before staring up at Asra with big eyes. He would answer me carefully and slowly, explaining the meaning of about twenty words before I leaned back in my chair. I scowled down at my lap in silence, feeling stupid. Shaking my head, I grabbed my notepad and turned to a new page.

"I think I need school." I stated. "This made me realise I lacked a lot of education."

"With your sister?" He mused.

"Heck, no." I shook my head, scowling. "Private tutor. You have money, right?"

Asra rolled his eyes. "We have money, yes."

"We? Me? I have no money." I frowned.

"What's mine is yours, Ailia. Please, Tulip, don't make me list off everything that you do not need to question now."

I laughed softly at his astonished face, shaking my head. "Okay, okay. Geez, becoming a teacher must be stressful. First training and now vocabulary."

Asra chuckled, grabbing my hand from over the desk and kissing my palm. "There is nothing to worry about."

"You say that, but not only do I have notes to write for the meeting in two days, but now I have just become aware that the hunt is coming up!"

Asra nodded thoughtfully. "That is my focus today. Tomorrow it will be something else."

"There's so much stuff I still don't know." I sighed.

"That's why alphas have such detailed training from a pup." He pursed his lips, glancing at me strangely. "If we had pups, the one with my gene would go through the same thing."

I couldn't help hyper-focus on how he said 'if'. It was a small word, with not a lot of meaning and a lot of day-dreaming, but he said it. He could've said when, but he gave the option of choice instead.

Despite that, I shook my head.

"If we had pups, all of them deserve the same amount of training and time."

"Only the alpha gene needs training-

"Nope! Unfair!" I shook my head. "High ranked wolves have a higher chance of mating another high ranked wolf, right? A lot of alphas end up with beta or alpha bloods, therefore, a child without a gene could still become someone of status."

"True." He mumbled.

"Just saying." I shrugged. "Silly dog."

Asra smiled softly, and I eyed him strangely, wondering what he was thinking.

"Nothing." He shrugged. "Just listening."

And listen, he did.

My lips curled into a smile, staring at him with a softness in my chest. It was the little things that made me feel so warm. It truly may only seem a minor hurdle, but when you've just fallen over every single one before it, such a small thing can be such a challenge.

Inhaling deeply, my eyes fluttered closed s I absorbed the feeling before opening them on my exhale. Asra watched me softly, no longer typing on his keyboard.

"Do you need help with anything else?" He wondered. "How's the notes?"

"I've outlined the things I want to talk about and then I've written bullet points for each one." I explained. "But I think I have most of it."

"Want to rattle off the bullet points?" He asked.

I blinked, glancing between him and his work. I knew he worked a lot. His schedule was busy this time of year. It was normal.

"Are you sure?" I wondered.

"Tulip..." He sighed. "I've missed your voice. Please, just continue."

I grinned, shaking my head. "Remember you said that, not me."

His lips quirked. "I shall note it for later."

"Okay. Good." I mused and continued to tell him what I had already.

February

****

a little later update as normal. I've been out of the country, but all normal now.

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