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Shaira's POV

Somethings are better left unexplained this is what we all know but We all have our share of secrets which we never share with anyone it is only our conscience who know our dark secrets but at times keeping all the insecurities aside we need to let everything out so that the burden of carrying them can be loosened just for once....

Ayaan was waiting patiently for me to begin with my story and I was taking my own sweet time as i didn't know how should I explain to him why i like writing so much there are so many reasons and somewhere I know i trust him enough to tell him everything that influenced me to write. From the beginning I was good with words and I remember my English teacher telling me once
"You know how to play with words shaira and one day you will write something which will inspire a lot of people"she said with so much confidence and authority that when I came back to my house unknowingly I opened one diary and started writing everything that came into my mind.

From that day it was like a habit for me to write my every emotion in a way that people will not be able to decipher it clearly not unless they know me enough and since nobody was close to me ever this never happened.

I looked at the sky which looked Crystal blue and the birds that were making their way to home I guess, the Sun which was shining so brightly that you cannot keep an eye contact with it. I was lost in nature for a moment but then i took a deep breath, closed my eyes and felt myself relaxed, i am ready to do this. It's just Ayaan Anyway.

" I was in third grade when my teacher appreciated me for a poem that I wrote on nature, it was about a bird finding her way back to home but unfortunately she became the target of some sniper and was dead. I didn't know why I wrote it in the first place but the ending was sad and after completing it felt so good like I was relieved with some part of pain. When I submitted my poem my classmates made fun of me for writing such a terrible poem which had no meaning and its end too was terrible. For some reason I didn't feel bad for all the things that they were saying to me and when my teacher appreciated my work by saying it was different everybody envied me as they were jealous of me" I said to him and looked towards Ayaan, he was looking down at me with what I had no idea but his eyes were telling me to go on and I did exactly the same thing.

"After this indecent I learned one thing I felt a lot better after writing those lines and somewhere I was at peace as whatever that was going on in my head was out there on a piece of paper it felt so relaxing. Whenever there was a special moment in my life I started capturing that moment by writing about it and all my hatred towards my parents, my classmates for not appreciating what I do, to everyone who demeaned me for not having a nice house, i wrote it all and now I am much better than i ever was. You know Ayaan there were/are people who still think that I am emotionless and I don't care for anyone and eventually I will end up alone, i want to yell at all of them, tell them I have emotions that normal people can never have, the way I see things nobody can ever. I want to tell everyone I am human too and I get hurt too but the only difference between them and me is they are quite effable whereas I am not. All this did one more thing to me I am not comfortable with people showing unnecessary affection on me by kissing me or hugging me. It just doesn't feel right to me when an old lady keep a hand on my head and bless me to have a good day ahead. I don't feel comfortable I don't think it's a bad thing to not let your emotions guide you! I think its better to listen to your mind than your heart as i know heart is very sensitive and it may become the reason of some relations which I never want to have in the first place. So I guess this is the reason I like writing it is like I cannot breathe without writing,  I feel incomplete in a way I cannot even put it in words. If things go genuinely right then maybe one day I will be a publisher author." I said all this in one breath and close my eyes as i didn't know it will feel this much better to let everything out. It's a whole new experience for me to share what my thoughts are. But I think I should do this often maybe I can share some thing about my life with Olivia.

"You are not alone now. I am right here with you"Ayaan's words made me open my eyes. I was surprised by what he said. Nowadays I do think I am not alone anymore but listening to those words coming from his mouth just made everything different.

I didn't said anything as I don't feel the need to say anything, my inner self was beyond happy with his words and had already danced so much that now even she is exhausted.

"I have to leave now." I said to him without meeting his gaze and gathering my books I stood up only to be pulled back by Ayaan. I don't whether this is the worst thing or the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me but i straight landed on his lap.

Given the fact we are in the park made everything  worse I guess but I think you can judge my state of mind right now.

"Ayaan what are you doing? Leave me we are not alone!" I said which made Ayaan smile and then realized what I said, seriously shaira!

"This means if we were alone right now you will let me pull you like this?" He asked raising his brows. My cheeks immediately heated up listening to his not so decent thoughts. His hands made its way on my waist holding me close and then his hands were on my spine, he pulled me close. If somebody will look at us now it will be like we are making out which we obviously aren't!

My hands were still on my sides but his hands were creating havoc my entire body. I just want to ask one thing is this normal to feel this way? One moment you are too comfortable with a person and the next moment you become nervous because of the close proximity! I was beyond nervous as my palms became sweaty, my whole body tensed up with the current situation that I am in!

"How do you feel when I keep my hands around your waist? Do you feel offended? what exactly do you feel shaira when I kiss you on your forehead?" He asked me so sweetly that it was just like a whisper but given our position for me it was like his words were ringing in my head.

"Before you think of  dodging my question just learn one thing I will not let you go unless you will answer my questions. Choice is yours as whatever you will chose I am not going to lose anything" He added before I could dodge his question like he said.

I bit my lips so hardly that lead to splitting of my lips and I could taste my own blood. That also wasn't enough when I looked at Ayaan he was looking at me fervently that for a moment I was lost in his green eyes which turned into black. My legs were on his left side and due to the abrupt landing my dress inched up that it was just above my knees. It didn't mattered to me as his eyes were so captivating I could hardly think of my dress or about the people around us or the wind which suddenly picked its speed.

"It all..... feels..... different" I admit feeling defeated, when I sensed instead of lightening his hold he further tightened it. My whole face was red like tomato,I  don't have a mirror right now but I could feel it and what Ayaan said next sucked all the air out of my lungs.

"Explain"He said and after that he went into silent mode expecting some kind of explanation from me. He was seriously treading on a very thin line as now I was getting annoyed by the way he wasn't expecting an answer from me instead he was demanding one!

"Ayaan what is this? Please let me go now. I answered once and now I am not explaining it to you" I said giving my best frustrating expression but that didn't worked at all.

"Shaira instead of arguing just answer it otherwise just so you know you weigh nothing and I can hold you like this forever, I am not in hurry at all" He said all the way grinning from ear to ear.

 When I heard the word forever something changed in me, hearing this word from Ayaan was surely different as there have been people in my life who at once claimed they will be there for me but they all were gone leaving me behind. It more felt like a promise rather than a word to me but I didn't want to get my hopes high on this if we are meant to be together in some way then destiny will play its role.

"Fine, It feels good when not knowingly what you are doing, you hold me by my waist and pulled me close to you, It feels even more good when you entwined are hands and for no reason kiss me on my forehead. For some reason I feel safe, It all feels so good that I want that moment to freeze right there but I feel a little uncomfortable too as I am not used to all this. In starting I use to flinch but now Its fine" I said it all in one breath so hastily that I was afraid what if Ayaan didn't catch any word that I just said!

"Shaira you think I don't notice anything but damn it I notice everything you do, So just listen to me I will not hug you unless and until you are perfectly okay with it or you yourself want me to hug you. I am ready to wait for you forever and by forever I mean it" He said emphasizing the word mean and forever which took my breath away.

"What if that never happens?"I asked him silently looking down but he with the help of his index fingers lifted my chin and said the most beautiful thing any girl would love to hear.

"Its okay I am not going anywhere shaira, I am right here waiting for you to need me as I am sure of one thing I will always need you in my life" With this he lightened his hold on me telling me that now I am free to go but now for some reason I didn't wanted to! With a heavy heart I stood up and taking my bag i walked away without saying anything, I just walked away........

Don't you guys think Ayaan is too good and cute?

when it comes Shaira she is more sensible and a little difficult! Isn't it?

Guys I need your votes and comments please do that!

It will mean a lot to me..

Love you loads...