Shaira's POV

"Shhhh" coaxed Gwen from one side and Olivia from the other.

But their incessant effort of comforting me didn't help at all. I was bawling my eyes out for the sin I have just committed.

"It is all going to be okay honey."Gwen tried to rock me in her arms like a baby and I held onto her.  I buried my face in her bosom and tried to shake off that disgusted look on Ayaan's face accompanied by his devastating eyes who were begging me, beseeching me to take all my words back. But I couldn't do it. When the time came I hurted him far more he had ever hurt me.

After all of this Dr. Marsh's words were ringing in my head.

"Shaira, when you were brought in here, you had a huge amount of blood loss and some of the glasses entered into your scalp which weakened your nerves and we found internal bleeding in your skull followed by a clot. For now I don't have the exact reports but your brain is becoming weaker day by day. The blood it needs for functioning it is not getting it properly. We are afraid but we don't think..."

"I can live anymore?" I completed his words but then it dawn on me he doesn't know whether I can be saved or not! He doesn't know the cure of my internal bleeding or the way I can get that clot out of my system.

" It can be operated right?"I asked in the hope of getting an affirmation but he hesitated for a moment.

Sighing he decided to use his words wisely," Shaira, as I said that you had a huge blood loss plus that clot is spreading infection which we are trying to control with the antibiotics but still we are not sure how should we handle this case. By the end of this week we will probably get a clearer picture of how exactly your brain is responding to the treatment we are giving you as of now but right now we cannot say anything."

As the words sinked in me I realized I don't know how should I even react to this news. I needed some time, some minutes to get adjusted to this idea of seeing me life ending so fast and the worst part was death bumped into me when I was in the happiest place in my life.

 "Could you please not tell my mother, sister and Ayaan right now?" I asked Doctor Marsh a favor when I got to know that Ayaan is awake. Half part of my heart was already numb with everything that was happening and the other part was aching to see a glimpse of Ayaan.

"Hey you will be alright. You cannot leave us this soon! We have so much to do."Olivia said in order to cheer me up but seeing her stained eyes I couldn't help but think how treacherous life is afterall...

"Have some water" Gwen pushed the glass of water in front of me, hiccups were not leaving my side as I thought about my decision.

"Can I ask you one question?" I said with my puffy eyes filled with desperation. 

"Anything honey, ask me anything." Gwen coaxed me and pulled me a little too close to her. My head was now rested on her lap and her hands were massaging my scalp.

"Did it hurt when my father impregnated you, left you and your parents abandoned you?" I whispered and practically my heart made flips I said father. It was probably for the first time that I was asking about him but to me it was important to know what she felt in that moment and maybe it will lessen my guilt just a little bit.

"At first when it dawned on me that he doesn't want a child neither he wants to marry me or his future plans didn't include me, it broke me. I thought that this is the worst I would go through and no one can mend me ever. I felt so lonely, so left out and one moment I wanted nothing more but to end to my misery my taking my own life. It hurts to know that the person whom I loved so much left me just like this. I was shattered from inside when my parents asked me to choose you and them. I was... Time is a great healer, sooner or later it will heal you in its own unique way and it won't even know." She said as her tear fell on my cheeks and I looked at her eyes. She was trying hard to let that part go but in her eyes I know she relived her past in those few seconds. She was a mere teenager when she had me. 

"Do you miss him?" I asked.

"Honestly sometimes I do and thank him for coming into my life. When he left me I learned a lot and got to know what life exactly is all about. Shaira, those people who get to be with their loved ones are the luckiest one's. I was lucky enough that fell in love again but I have seen people who haven't moved at all. And I guess they have their own reasons too. We have no right to judge anyone, we don't know what they have been through." She said her hand still in my hair now stroking.

After this conversation I didn't say anything at all. I was afraid to close my eyes as Ayaan's face was haunting me and obliterating my already devastated self. So I choose to look at the ceiling. My mind was wandering in places where I never wanted them to go. I was thinking about what was he doing, is he angry with me, will in future he will never look at me with those loving eyes which only had love in them! Had I destroyed us so badly that we may never come together again?

These and many more questions surfaced my minds and when  Gwen brought me back from my thoughts I was glad," Shaira, Ayaan doesn't hate you. He can never. I have seen love in his eyes and that love is just too unconditional, it doesn't have the power to hate anyone. I know future is pretty hazy right now but you know what, you will be alright and when you will be perfectly healthy you can face him then. You two will definitely work out something." She said with a dreamy smile.

"What if I never make it to that point?" I asked with a strange confidence trying to hide the real emotions.

"You will, trust me you will." She said and started humming a new tune.

This made me wonder what will Ayaan do if he finds out about my condition, will he stay with me till the end? Or will he leave me? Did I make the right decision? Thinking made my head hurt and not knowing when sleep took over my exhausted self...

Hey how are you all doing?

I hope you liked this chapter. VOTE AND COMMENT. Love you loads guys...