When you are in love strange things happen and instead of wondering why you just choose to go with the flow...

Shaira's POV

Falling in love is so easy, I understood this in these past few days. No matter how much of a tease Ayaan is but he is really good at what he does. From the past one week he is doing everything he can just to make me score good marks and his hard work showed its colors too when I got B in the test and for once the professor was highly impressed with the way I have performed. That day I was so happy that one thing which I did was I hugged him as tightly as it was possible for me.

When initially I hugged him,  he was completely taken aback by my actions, but when I didn't lightened my grip on his back, he hugged me back. At that moment, I felt like,  I don't want anything else in this world except to be in the arms of this man. We hugged like we were promising each other of never letting go again and that was when I wanted to tell him,  sorry for hurting him as well as thank you for sticking around me.

Sometimes when Ayaan is around me, I feel blessed,  like God is giving me gift of all my hard work , of all the hurdles I have face in my life,  like he is telling me through Ayaan that love do exist in this cruel world. 

I am again falling for him,  this time even more helplessly. Love makes you weak, it makes you helpless but this time it is all welcomed. Even if in the future Ayaan did hurt me, it will surely crush me even more but the moments that I have spending with him will always be in my heart forever. I want to cherish every moment I can. And for that I need to tell him that I love him.

As of now Ayaan is explaining me the different ways of calculating integration and it's different uses,  half of whatever he is saying is going straight above my head. Also I am busy admiring him, so my dear brain is really busy can't blame my brain!

"Shaira, we have to complete only one question then I have to go" he said writing the question on my copy.

"You have to go! Where?" I asked and when my words registered in my mind my eyes widened thinking what have I asked him! Why am I too loud?

"Actually" he said but then stopped and looked at the book.

When he didn't answer a fear gripped my heart, I was feeling sick suddenly and the time seemed like, it stopped.

"Are you going on a date?" I asked him,  and my heart was ready to pop out of my chest. I was waiting desperately for his answer but his silence speak more than his words could ever do.

"Ooh" I said and stood up burrying my hands in my hair which was let loose as I thought Ayaan like my hair when they are let loose.

"You know what you should go" I said and grabbed his hand.

"Shaira we have to do this problem" he said and refused to look at me.

"I will do it on my own and I think from today you don't have to tutor me, I will do it by myself" I said to him keeping my tears at bay which were threatening to fall any minute.

"Shaira be serious." He berated me.

"Seriously Ayaan! Don't start this serious shit now. Your girlfriend must be probably waiting for you. And when it comes to me, I have always managed everything on my own so I can manage mathematics too." I said and crossed my arms across my chest.

"Okay what the hell is your problem" Ayaan said but this time he too stood up and he also raised his voice making me jump but I pretended like it didn't affect me even a bit.

" What the hell is my problem! My problem is I love you way too much that you can never love me that way I do, my problem is I want you to be around me, my problem is that I don't want you to see any other girl but me, my problem is you should just hold my hand and never let it go, my problem is I love you so fucking much that it hurts to pretend your presence doesn't affect me, my problem is I can't even picture you with any other girl, my fucking problem is that I don't want to let you go ever" I said it all, vent it out everything that I have been storing in my heart from so long.

"Then don't let me go" Ayaan said and started coming towards me.

I was   startled with what he said and as he started coming towards me I started pulling myself back. He came towards me slowly steadily and his eyes suddenly became dark with every step he took towards me. i took one step back but soon enough my back hit the wall telling me now I am trapped fully.

I berated myself for talking so illogically, i scolded myself for telling him everything that should just be restricted to me. At this moment, I  was feeling weak and as he closed the distance between us with our bodies mere an inch apart almost brushing, I could listen to his uneven heartbeat, and I was afraid that he might not hear the loud thumping of my heart.

For a few minutes he just looked at me with a longing look, there was so much pain in his eyes that my pain, my suffering was nothing in front of him. My hands ached to remove all the frown lines of his forehead, I wanted to run my fingers through his soft hair, I longed to rest my head on his chest to listen to his steady heartbeat. I wanted to do so many things at that moment but nothing happens the way I want it to happen, so for once I decided to go with the flow with one promise I will not regret this later no matter what the outcome will be!

Gently he placed a wet kiss on my forehead and I in return closed my eyes. It was after so long he was this close to me, for once I was happy about this fact and my inner self was rejoicing having a party of its own. His lips lingered on my forehead for a while and my hands clutched the hem of my T-shirt. I didn't stop him, I couldn't. Then taking his sweet time he kissed the flesh between my right eye and forehead. 

"It is my step sister who is coming to Seattle for a few days and I have to go and pick her from the airport." He whispered into my ears and then kissed my ears too.

I was embarrass to no extent when his words settled into my head. I have a bad habit of assuming things which are never true and this time too, I took his silence for granted, damn me.

"But at least pretending like I am going on a date I get to know that i am not the only one who is this much into you and this fire that we both are suffering from is not one sided." He said keeping his one hand on my waist and other one on the wall.

When his hands made contact with the waist, heat reached to my face and suddenly I was all ready to faint.

"At least the suffering is not one sided"his words echoed in my ears and for some reason I was feeling so happy from inside that all I wanted to do was to look into those green eyes which were boring into my eyes but I couldn't look at him,  my eyes were fixated on the ground,  I was feeling shy for the first time and i wasn't sure of what my eyes may end up saying to him.

"Shaira, I love you" Ayaan said slowly emphasizing every word and giving extra attention to those three words which I was craving to listen from so long.

All that was too overwhelming, everything has been so much unprecedented today that this maybe the happiest day of my life and one thing which is for sure is I will never forget this day ever,  even if I want to I cannot.

His lips this time lingered just an inch away from my lips. Taking his time,  teasing me he kissed the naevus which there just beside the right side of my lips. I was about to lose my balance with what was happening with me but it was all so good and it all felt too right that I couldn't stop him.

After exactly thirty Seconds, yes I counted amidst of my erratic breathing I was counting every second,  his lips brushed mine,  one then twice and when third time our lips brushed, I didn't let them go. I kissed his lips which were hot against my cold ones. They were a little rough against my soft ones but it felt like two rose petals were feeling the touch of each other for the first time.

Honestly I never thought about my first kiss ever, this thought even if at times crossed my mind I used to brush it off by saying how ludicrous and gross it is but trust me it is anything but ridiculous.

It is the best feeling ever known to mankind. It's not even about the pleasure but it's more about the feelings that are connected. What you have for each other matters more.

I don't know when Ayaan slid his tongue inside my mouth but before I know it we were kissing each other, ravishing each other's taste, it took us almost five months for this! But the wait was all worth it. Ayaan bit my lower lip and I let out a moan. His one  hand was on my waist squeezing it from time to time,other hand was now in my hair, my hands were draped around his neck and were joined. It all felt so surreal. He tasted like mint, fresh and rejuvenating. I don't know for how long we kissed each other, but we both weren't ready to pull back, a had to catch our breaths.

Ayaan joined his forehead with mine and instead of saying something he kissed my forehead again. That is how my first kiss happened, a memorable night indeed I mused as I close my eyes...

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