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Shaira's POV

Hi my name is...

Sometimes In our lives we don't know what is happening in our life and why it is happening in the first place but we always forget one thing, everything which we go through in our life is already written in our destiny and is destined to happen, we cannot control it so the least we can do is play along with it and without sulking over the things whose answer we don't know and will know only when the time comes, we should just let it go....

"What the hell is happening with with me?" I groaned crushing another paper and throwing it outside of the window. I sighed and looked around my surroundings noticed the same things yet again...

I was again sitting at the exact spot where I everyday sat so that i can write something which is meaningful, something which is full of humor yet will be full of love, not only that I want to inspire people , want to become famous because of my writing is that too much to ask for?

Back in high school everybody appreciated whatever I wrote and they told me that I should publish something but now it just seems like a dreamscape which I am living in.

Why can't just for once in my life everything can be as sorted as i want it to be! I left everything behind so that i can discover who I am but guess what I am a big loser who was in daze of becoming some prolific writer once day but the truth is I am big loser....

Let me tell you one thing whrn you are trapped in this kind of mess what happens is suddenly everything around you will look gross, incomplete as the pen that you so fondly purchased so that you can pen down a wonderful story isn't helping you in any way....

in fact it is making me helpless, it is making me realize what a big mistake I did by leaving everything just to follow something which I weren't even sure of whether I am really Into it or not! 

I closed my eyes and let the cool breeze hit my cheeks which was really soothing my insides. It was giving me the serenity that I wanted at this moment. The best part is I am not answerable to anyone and being alone is like a blessing in disguise. Whenever I start writing I get so lost in it that I forget what time it is or what day it is. This is  true but when my hands are itching to write something or should I say anything but these damn words are being so stubborn that they are just playing hide and seek in my head which is ready to explode any minute!

I take a look at my surroundings and cannot help but smile at the view that was in front of me. Being on the twelfth floor has its perks surely. The whole city is drowned in the glowing lights and I was awestruck by the simplicity and the elegance of Seattle once again. Seattle's beauty never ceases to amaze and everyday when I look outside my window I notice something different and I fell in love with this city again..

Did I introduced myself? No I guess see this is what happens with I have amnesia and I don't remember things at all.

Don't get serious this is not the case I am just kidding but my memory is really not something i am too proud of. But whatever it is I love myself for who I am. These past nineteen years of my life I learned one thing which is love yourself as much as you can, why you want to wait for somebody to come and pamper you? You can do all the pampering yourself you don't need anyone!

By the way I am Shaira(poetess), the moment i discovered this name I wanted to be call by this name, it fascinated me and the way my name rolled from people's lips it just made it even more right! I am majoring in economics from university of Washington college. Well I don't have a last name as i am brought up in an orphanage and honestly I don't even want to know who my parents are or whether they are alive or not. I don't even want to know why my mother abandoned me when I just wanted to be in her embrace.

You know I don't expect anything from anybody and its better that way. I have created some walls and  I will never let anyone break them because if I let anybody in then i am sure at the end i will be shattered the way glass shatters into small pieces when it hits the ground with a force. All my memories are so vague and useless that I don't believe I have lived a life of a child or I even had a childhood!

Sometimes I do feel lonely and feel like what is the purpose of my existence on this earth but then this voice,  my subconscious reminds me that my destiny is already written and everything will happen according to it,  I just have to wait and watch. I am just a puppet whose control is in the hand of God the way he will mould is the way I will become.

All these philosophical words i don't choose them, they choose me seriously. Sometimes when I write lines and re-read them I am astounded by the fact that I have written them, some are so deep and sepulchral that I am myself drowned by the meaning of them and then a smile made its way on my face making me realise I am not even that bad afterall....

From the moment i was in my senses I learned one thing that in this world nobody is yours ever and they will leave you one day so it's better to not get attached to anybody so deeply that at the end you end up hurting yourself which I cannot afford to do now not when I just want my dream to come true.

I looked at myself in the mirror which was just on the opposite side of the window, my bed was in the middle, the walls were painted in sea blue colour which I loved as i am in love with the view of beaches so when I saw this apartment what fascinated me the most was its colour and somehow it provided me the solace which I yearned for.

Keeping all those painful thoughts aside I noticed my reflection in the mirror. My eyes widened seeing the bags that surrounded my eyes as i have been struggling with sleep. Sleep is like a dream which is not ready to come my way easily. Actually nothing has come my way easily. I have always struggled so hard to get everything in life that now a days I feel defeated and just for once i want to close my eyes and drown myself in the dreams where there is no tension of tomorrow, no expectation of what will happen in next second....

I stared at myself devoid of any emotion, my deep blue eyes had turned dark as though they are empty and lifeless, my cheeks flushed, my hair a tangled nest which was tied in a messybun. I was wearing my usual burgundy colour night gown which reached down my knees. I was not too fat neither I was too slender, my curves weren't too evident yet they were there,  I never prefer to wear tight clothes, so nobody noticed the curves that I have not that I wanted anybody to notice but still the girl inside me wanted somebody to notice me, tell me that I am beautiful enough.

"You know you are beautiful" there comes that annoying voice which I dreaded but yet he was there exactly at this time. Why was he here? Why he out of all people wants to talk to me? How the hell he managed to be at the twelfth floor without anybody noticing? All these thoughts were making its place in my head but I shake all of them as i have much important task to do right now!

Today I decided I will not leave him at all. Today I will tell him to go to hell and i never want to see his face.

I turned around with my eyes only radiating anger towards him but he was smiling down at me this is what left me flabbergasted......

Hey loves this is a whole new book and I think you all ate going to love it,   it is a love story no doubt but it will be unique in its own way....

Guys I am not asking too much from you guys I just want you to vote and comment, I hope this is not too much I am asking for right?

Please guys VOTE AND COMMENT....

Love you loads♡♡♡