Feeling author's note:

⚠️ Nudity ahead.

___________________

All my life, my Lola's principles as a woman have been holding the womanness in me, that there came no time when I chose to veto her perspectives which were so close to being a perfect epitome of Maria Clara.

I did find her beliefs stereotypical, unjust, and sometimes biased and discriminating if we were to talk about carnal prejudices. Thus, being a Lola's girl and though I saw the negative sides of her 60's beliefs, I still had been a firm and relentless believer of nuptials before allowing a man to tear my immaculacy.

But it was only now that I was enlightened that there would come a time when you'd let go of your old beliefs and you'd welcome the new ones. The new ones which I wished I welcomed earlier had I not been trying to personify women's immaculacy from decades ago.

The immaculacy that I've been pursuing to keep a hold of, that seemed to be shaken when Kael claimed for my lips, was like a piece of paper that I tore into pieces as I allowed him to possess my wholeness.

I wanted to storm to the kitchen and get a glass of water to soak my drying throat. But the thought of seizing the once in a lifetime scene made me trash the idea, I'd rather let my throat dry than to ruin the moment. Thought also that our kiss was a high chance for me to wet my lips with one's saliva, 'cause I'm starting to hate the idea that the only thing that dampens my lips was water and water itself, so I remained standing in front of him as he nibbled my lower lip with immense want that I nearly screamed in awe when he started to move.

I felt his hands on my curves as they slowly guided their way under my shirt. The tickling feeling catered me with a pleasurable sensation that I never once had in my nineteen years of mortality. For a first timer, I guess my reaction wasn't that insane. Or so I thought, 'cause my hands seemed to have a green mind of their own when they ushered his hands to my bare skin, prolly excited for his touch and impatient for his slow moves.

That was when I thought that maybe, being a dalagang Pilipina wasn't really mine to portray. And fuck that sense of chastity that I've been babying since my innocence bid me goodbye, when what I'm feeling now in courtesy of Kael was the best one could ever be gratified.

My regrets of having to experience this pleasure just right now, escalated when his fingers began tracing the waistline of my bottom underclothing as his tender kisses earlier became insane, I felt like withdrawing mine. But his reflexes were too quick to hold the back of my head with his one hand and to circle his free arm on my waist to immobilize me from pulling myself from our kiss.

He began tracing my lips using his tongue, like tasting every angle of it before he whispered open it in a coarsed voice which sounded so sexy that I gladly opened my mouth to welcome his tongue that'd been pleading for an entrance.

I wasn't prepared for such a kiss, much more when his body leaned on mine when he pulled me closer to deepen his mouth on mine. I began savoring the sweetness brought by the warmth of his mouth, as well as the drugging feeling that made me gasp for some air but I no longer cared to let go.

Disappointment rained on me when he distanced his lips a fraction away from mine, but disappeared like the speed of light when he seductively uttered, "I want more of you, Shimon..." I was taken by surprise when he guided my arms around his neck and lifted me from the floor which caused me to drape my legs around his waist for support.

The last thing I knew, heaven and hell clouded my innocence when I felt my back touch the soft mattress of his off white bed. Heaven for the comfort that his bed brought to my sexually anxious self, whereas hell at the sight of him undoing the buttons of his garment as he stood in between my parted legs.

"Breathe, Shimon," he said with a soothing voice after dumping his top on the floor. "Am I making you uneasy?" He traveled his hands down to his bottom clothing and started unzipping his fly. I knew right there and then, that I'd be losing my virginity to Mikael Gaddiel Salazar.

I swallowed the lump from my throat and settled my eyes somewhere else.
But the sudden weight of his body on top of me caused me to return my vision back to him.

A mixture of innocence, adoration, and lust grappled my chest. What am I supposed to do as a virgin? Shall I open my legs wider for me to receive his every thrust? Shall I start stripping my clothes off? Shall I wait for him to make a move just like in the adult films that we were required to watch way back in college years? Or shall I be the one to start the show for I am paid for this, though I have no idea how?

But a stupefying query escaped my mouth."Anong....anong...gagawin...natin...?"

It was maybe the innocence in my question that made him chuckle. "Matutulog," he replied.

"Ah," was the only response I gave.

Had sleeping been the purpose of this foreplay, I should've grabbed my favorite pair of nighties from my closet and ram them down his throat. Felt too embarrassed for an unknown reason that I wanted to ask him to bring back the saliva that he took from my mouth when he voraciously kissed my lips, as well as the normal state of my reposing ovaries that began twitching when he caressed my bare skin.

Tangina, bakit ka ba nagagalit, Mon?!

I heard him chuckle for the second time before saying, "Tell me you want me to do you, Shimon," he whispered against my ear as he caressed my cheek with his left hand. "I don't want to do this if you don't want me to....though I'm dying to be inside you...and though I'm already sporting a boner right now...but still...tell me...is it okay for me to touch you...?"

Sounded ungentlemanly for him to have the audacity to only ask me now when he nearly munched my lips like some kind of an edible creature. But realizations hit me, that when he kissed me, it didn't make me less of a participant.

So I stopped antagonizing his words and replied based on my need.

Sorry, Lola. 'Wag ka na lang manood, I mumbled to myself and said, "I...I...don't know...how...to...do...it...."

"Leave it all to me, you don't have to do anything," he said. "Just...let me...touch you...." he whispered before burying his face on the crook of my neck.

All the negativities that consumed my emotions for a short time, evaporated in an equally not long while and were changed with a feeling that's better than being on cloud nine.

The touch of his lips on my neck sent some sort of electrocutions down my spine. How pleasurable it was to feel his mouth amorously sucking and wetting my neck that I buried his head deeper, indirectly pleading him to do me more.

My eyes nearly pooled with both pain and pleasure when I felt his hands trace its way to my womanhood. His fingers began lapping on the soft fabric of my black dress until I felt his one, two, three, four, and five fingers inside my lingerie, with two of them paving their way inside me.

Soft kisses were placed back on my lips as he caressed me down there. A warm feeling enveloped me that I surrendered myself to him. The way his lips nibbled my lower lip enchanted me to respond until his tongue made its way to my mouth, roaming, sucking, and warming mine.

His hands then moved to my curves and slowly crawled to fondle my breasts. A moan escaped from my mouth, the sensation was burning and luring that I craved for more. He continued nibbling my lips then it went down, like a vampire dying for a prey, it sucked my neck.

A moment later he lifted my dress over my head and my underclothing slid off from my legs. I could no longer feel the touch of the soft fabric that clothed me earlier. All I could feel was his manhood, gently rubbing in between my thighs.

And if I were to diagnose him, he must have an oral fixation for he lavishly licked my breasts and prodigiously sucked on my nipples. He was uncontrollably quenching for more, that my throat went rasp as I continued letting out countless moans.

If this is a dream, this would be a dream that I'd choose not to wake up from no matter how breathless it made me. I could stay stuck on this soft mattress with this human on top of me.

"I want to be inside you now, Shimon," he murmured against my lips beneath his heavily destabilized breathing. "Will you be fine?"

Didn't know I was in such dire need of sexual advances that my mouth and mind betrayed me for mumbling, "Just...do me...."

He didn't mind to reassure me if I do have doubts and holdbacks for surrendering into the intimacy we are to have. I just felt a stinging sensation from my womanhood as he watched me die in pleasure from his every thrust when he laid his full length inside me while sanking his teeth into the fleshiest parts of me.

Though his weight was a little unbearable, it coursed me with ecstasy in each and every hard pummel that he does. I enjoyed the feeling of being crushed beneath his warm body, of being touched by his two playful hands, and of being soldered to him from mouth to feet.

The feeling was damning, fuck the sensation that I'm feeling when shivers passed through my body, I felt more than out of sobriety. This was way farther than the feeling of hammering myself with hard drinks at the waterholes where I used to visit to delight me with a drunkard state.

"Do you want me to stop?"he asked and I tiredly shook my head. I wanted more. "Good, 'cause I want to stay inside you and watch you come."

I parted my legs wider to welcome his invasion in my womanhood, but he had a much better way to completely invade me by wrapping my legs to his waist. Every ram was painful yet satisfying. No, it wasn't satisfying, it was dissatisfying for I desired for more. How fortunate I was that I didn't have to ask him to do me more, for he thrusted on me over and over like he doesn't get tired at all. The thrusts were slow at the beginning but began rocketing the longer it took. It left me breathless, but I let him continue ramming me.

My moans reached its loudest pitch when his tongue touched between my thighs. I could no longer breathe. All I could do was to pull his hair as his hands spread my legs wider for his mouth to invade my purity. His tongue continued pleasuring me, ceaselessly that I nearly melted with pleasure. The way his tongue and mouth moved left me gripping desperately on the mattress. Biting my lower lip was the only means I could resort to swallowing the moans wanting to free from my mouth.

"Shimon..." he whispered as he settled himself on top of me.

"Hmm?" I weakly replied.

"You...swift...me off...my feet....ghad...I'm so...into you woman..."

Perfection was the most befitting word to describe the achy-lovely feeling that he gives. So were the words that he mouthed and the throaty sounds he made, they were beyond music to my ears for they stayed lurking in my mind and remained playing in my ears.

He captured my lips swiftly before collapsing his weight beside me. The warmth of his hug as he draped his arm around me and laid his head on my chest stabilized the cold temperature in the room. His weight was heavy but was faultless enough to permit my body to cradle him.

"How does....being Mrs. Mikael Gaddiel Salazar sound to you...Shimon?"