It's been a few weeks since Darren hit me the first 2 weeks he flooded my phone with texts using about 10 different numbers which I blocked .

I finally understood how hard it is for a drug addict to stop using , they make you feel good and you feel you can't exist without them the withdrawal however is a bitch.

A toxic relationship is harder to wash off you, I stalked his new girlfriend because he moved on and I was sad I don't know why that hurt but it did because I broke myself over and over for him for nothing only for him to replace me with her.

Even when they argued he never disrespected her like he did me? Was me loving him a way for him to think I don't deserve the respect?

Those weeks were hard getting rid of my feelings were hard my mom asked me to go see a therapist and she did help me like a lot .

Hearing our songs on the radio Toxic Love by KB  Mike was on repeat I'm surprised my mom didn't break my speakers.

I hated him ,resented him for making me addicted to the high and  I was disappointed that I fell for it too , as amazing as love is ,it can't heal toxicity.

Well his nickname is toxic so it's expected right ?Nikki said that but it never registered.

I listened to her but chose not to hear her.

I pushed Hy away a bit just to deal with those feelings.

Plus my feelings for Hyacinth I have no idea what was happening can you mourn and celebrate simultaneously?

I didn't say it's over isn't it obvious? But I need to meet him and break up with him I just don't have the courage to face him what if he ?.....

I had questions and zero answers I was in bed didn't want to get out of bed yet.

My door flew open.

"Happy birthday baby"my mom started singing and doing that weird dance she's been doing since I was a baby.

I forgot it was my birthday !

She had my favourite :chestnut cake .

"Thank you momma now I can pop the cherry"

She gave me a look and I burst out laughing .

"Just joking sheesh"

She kissed my cheek and handed me 3 wrapped gifts.

1. MacBook
2. iPhone 14
3. Sketch pad for work and it had my initials with a nice rose gold leather cover.

"Oh my word momma"

"You deserve it "

I hugged her excited nd kissed her.

"You can go party with the twins make sure you come back home in one piece or I will kill you Rai "

"Thank you momma I love you"

She left and I ate my cake I was so excited .

I went to shower and left to go meet Noelle and Nikki.

I took the bus and when I got to their house they all sang happy birthday to me ....I love them .

They bought me earrings and a nice bracelet.

"So you broke up withDarren"

I looked down...

"Sarai"

"I know I will "

"You better "

"We need a new dress for the party"

"Which Party"

"Scott's party we are going "

"What if we see Darren"

"We will kick his ass"

We left to the mall and they went to every shop and I tried on a many dresses I was tired and hungry.

Just as we got out of the shop Darren was kissing a girl! perfect!

We all saw him then got in some shop I didn't need anything, just needed to avoid him .

After a while we got burgers and I went to the salon did my hair it's my 21st and the people I love made my day.

"How do I look"

"Amazing"

We got ready for the party, I was laughing outside and dying a bit on the inside .

We got there and I started with shots we were having so much fun...

/Cause-ive-been-here-too-much-too-long-i-dont-really-wanna-dance-and-i-hate-most-of-these-songs-plus-my-feet-are-killing-me-i-dont-really-wanna-dance-shoulda-stayed-my-ass-at-home

Elle Varner sounded amazing with the loud speakers and I related to the lyrics .

The drinks were amazing guys came but I told them off wish I had the same guts with Darren though.

He walked in with the girl they were kissing holding hands.

He spotted me but I wasn't scared I had vodka in my system and that shit made me feel like I could face Hulk.

It was great we were loud and guys that came to me I danced with Darren was furious, the strange guy held my waist while I twerked on him, I can't dance when I'm sober though.....

The booze gave me confidence...

I needed to pee but my friends were too drunk to help so I walked off alone .

Did my business and went back safely thank goodness .

Darren had moved but his girl approached me...

"Stop checking out my man"

I looked around is she talking to me?

"Who"

"You bitch he says you want him"

Before I could speak she punched me...they are both violent why aim for my pretty face fuck!

First of all who still fights for a man in 2023?

Noele and Nikki went on her and started hitting her I fell ,broke my heel,managed to hit her with my bag though she looked like Darren when Hyacinth dealt with him.

Darren just looked at his girl and attack me the fight broke off thanks to Scott and we walked away we were laughing our dresses were ripped and our heels broken.

We went to the ladies and I had small bruise Noelle and Nikki didn't look bad too.

We laughed again nothing was funny the booze and adrenaline drove us crazy...that bitch tried to pull my hair thinking it's a weave but she made my head hurt.

This perfect mane was all mine thanks to my momma!

"What the fuck happened"

"Darren's stupid girl happened"

"Can I go to hy?" The last time he made me feel safe"

They laughed and made weird sounds

"Shut up guys I mean I've been avoiding him to deal with Darren but now I'm ready to see him"

After a while Scott and Noelle drove me to his house it was late almost midnight.

"Explain why your man leaves far from civilization"

I rolled my eyes I was excited to see him and my heart was beating out of my chest, something about this tall guy .

I was so deep in my thoughts I didn't hear them pull in front of his car, we all got out and went to ring the bell.

I forgot he does when he sleeps!

"What the fuck you  know what time it is"

The lights went on and he was complaining as usual but when he opened the door and our eyes locked it was just the two of us!

"Hi"

"Princess what ?did he?"

"No... there was a fight we went to a party"

He held me so tight like he was protecting me from the bad wolf aka Darren.

"Ignore us guys"Nikki said.

We laughed and they left .

He opened the door and I told him what happened.

He got me his t-shirt which was a dress on me and after my nice shower I was in his shirt.

We got in bed and I slept on his chest.

"He didn't hurt you"

"No his girlfriend did"

"Why we're you there"

"Celebrating my birthday"

"Hope you had a good one I'll make it up to you "

"Thanks old man"

We spoke I couldn't sleep I was excited and nervous I never spent the night with any guy before and he is my first ...

"You can't tickle me I'm in pain"

"You're lucky I won't hurt you I'm glad your friends were with you "

I smiled because Darren hated the twins for months he tried to break us up but failed cause I love them , he said he would find me "better friends" whatever that meant.

He said he won't hurt me and would protect me funny I needed protection from him.

"You're ugly anyway" that's what he said when we walked away from the fight earlier .

I'm so glad I never trusted him with my virginity.

I was on my phone laughing it's true laughter is the best medicine and love too.

"What are you watching beautiful?"

"Anything with Melissa McCarthy makes my life does she know how amazing she is"

"I'm sure she does baby"

Why are you looking at me like that old man?

"Because you're so beautiful "

His words made me melt I was mess with a small bruise on his big shirt and messy hair.

My body wanted him I wanted him to be my first and last shit I'm Inlove!

𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓴 𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓐 𝓕𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓕𝓻𝓸𝓶 𝓖𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓮!