The clock woke me up...RING....

Urgh...

I got up and could tell me mom was awake by the smell of nice food from our kitchen...

I got up and took my toiletries to shower, I quickly had my shower and went downstairs to the kitchen in my underwear ...

"Morning mommy"

"Morning baby I made breakfast ill see you later okay put some clothes on it's cold "

"You're the best mommy ever "

"Don't be late for school Sarai"

"Yes ...yes mom I won't I promise ....bye"

I kissed my mom's cheek as she closed the door to our 2 bedroom house.

My mom owned Lily Cleaners which was hanging on by a piece of thread, she thinks I don't know but I saw the books and I keep praying she gets help because she works too damn hard.

After having the omelette and freshly squeezed orange juice my mom made me I went to our small stand next to the door where letters were neatly stacked.

"Bills ....bills....more bills can't a person catch a fucking break"

I threw them back on the stand and went to put on some clothes wore some leggings and hoodie with my timberlands.

Made sure the kitchen was clean before locking the door.

Walking outside the wind came from nowhere making me wear my hood.

My natural curls were wild today but I didn't tie them I let them hang loose.

I needed to walk for a while to the bus station to catch a bus to school.

After checking in there were no seats ...great I'll stand for 30 minutes ...

Is it me or does the road get bumpier when you're standing ?

When I got to my stop I got out and walked to school a few more months left then I'm done with college I couldn't wait .

Being a fashion journalist has been a dream for years something me and my mom had in common,but she gave up the dream when she fell pregnant with me.

My best friends came running towards me when they saw me .

"Sarai rai"

"Hey girls" my best friends are twins ...Noelle and Nikki.

"How's that stupid man of yours "

"Darren ain't stupid Nikki"

"You know he is anyway ill let that go for now!"

After gossiping for an hour we went to our classes .

Immediately after my last class my phone rang but I didn't recognise the number.

"Hello"

"Hi is this Sarai"

"Speaking"

"Your mom is in hospital she...."

I couldn't listen more I had to hang up and get an Uber I've been saving but this is an emergency.

On my way there I was stressed out I sent messages to my girls and got to the hospital .

I ran through the emergency door I nearly fell.

I got to the receptionist and asked her for my moms room number , I couldn't wait to see her .

I got to her room and found her sleeping is she????

The doctor walked in...

"Hi I'm Doctor Willis and is this your mom?"

"Duh" I didn't actually say that.

"Yes can you please tell me what's wrong with my mom"

"She had a transient ischemic attack(tia) also known as a mini-stroke"

"What"

"She's under severe stress and it would help if she stopped being too hard on her body or..."

"You don't have to say it Doc I get it, is she asleep"

"Yes we had to sedate her so she rests"

"Thank you so much"

"You're welcome I have to go see other patients call me if you need anything"

"Thanks again Doctor"

He walked away and I sat next to her holding her hand I checked the time and it was 17:09 I stayed with her for a few hours till it was dark I just wanted to talk to her.

I can't lose my mom she's all I have left.

I wanted to cry but my tears were dry I was tired.

"Baby"she woke up.

"Momma you scared me" I tear slipped and she wiped it away kissing my forehead.

"Sorry baby I'm okay just need to rest"

"Okay momma we will get through this I promise"

"We always do baby"I kissed her hand and had to leave it was getting darker and I had to catch a bus home.

After getting home the house felt lonely I missed my mom.

I turned the tv on and just pretended to be watching it ,I felt hungry so I made some Gilgeori Toast , it didn't taste as good as my mother's but I had to eat and then got back to the couch to watch tv.

I've been calling Darren for hours he's not answering he better have a better excuse for this.

I fell asleep on the couch waking up with a stiff neck...

I had cereal in the morning and went to class my moms friend and business partner  Marie said she will take her home because she was discharged I wanted to get home first but couldn't, my classes  lasted longer .

After my last class I saw Darren he was waiting outside with his friends  , I called him did he just pretend he can't hear me?

"Darren"

"What woman"

"I've been calling you for days where were you?"

"I lost my phone or something look I can't stay I need to be somewhere"

"Please drop me off at home the buses are annoying this time plus I need to..."he cut me off.

"Sorry love I can't I have business to take care of"

Business ?

"I need to get home my mom isn't well"

"Im sorry I can't help her I'm no doctor" he threw money at me...

"Get an uber" before i could respond he was gone how could he treat me like this?

We dated for 2 years the first 1 year were amazing he treated me we were inlove then it's like a switch went off he hated me Nikki says his mask fell off and he was always an asshole.

I threw his money on the floor and left..

Got home late...

My mom was probably tired but she still managed to cook for me I had my dinner and knocked in her room.

"Momma"

"Baby"

"How are you feeling"

I joined her in bed hugging her...

"Much better just tired baby"

"Thank you for making my favorite food"

"Anytime baby your eyes look red is it Darren again" she asked rolling her eyes.

"No momma the internship from York'e  they haven't called me back since the interview"she had enough on her plate my love life shouldn't add on her plate.

"They will baby have faith"

"Thank you momma"

"Baby my company isn't doing too well but we got a call from someone while I was away Marie said she will pay good money"

"Mhmm"

"But I can't work for a while 2 weeks or more, I kind of need a favor"

"Anything for you mommy"

"I can't afford a replacement "

"I k ow where this is going ,I will work with Marie till you're better momma" I always help her when she needs me and she does the same for me too.

"Thank you baby"

"Momma did you just emotionally black mail me?"

"After 48 hours of labour , 41 weeks pregnant which means I was 10 months pregnant  and having a cesarean for you it's what I deserve right " we both laughed.

One thing about my mom she will never let me forget that.

"I love you momma"

"I love you too now go rest you'll need it for tomorrow"

"Fine sweet dreams"

I kissed her cheek and went to shower I was so tired I got on my bed and checked if Darren said anything and nothing I don't know what he's problem is but I'm reaching my breaking point.

In the morning I got ready and had cereal because my mom was still resting.

I got to school...

"Sarai"

Someone was calling me but I didn't look back I knew it was Darren I'm so tired of him.

He roughly grabbed my hand screaming to my ear what the hell...

"Where the fuck did you go yesterday"

"What are you talking about Darren"I remembered that my phone had died.

"I know you're cheating on me and I will prove it you bitch"

I swallowed my tears I couldn't cry he got louder calling me a whore.

"Please calm down Darren" he has ADHD which was one of his mental problems so he had angry outbursts.

He lied said he goes to a therapist but he acts the same.

"I'm calm"he said looking red..

I hugged him hoping it might help but he pushed me off him and I fell on my ass, he didn't even care he walked away.

I love him Noelle said my words contradict my actions and she's telling the truth I say I love myself more than I love Darren but that's not true.

I chose Darren over myself because I had this belief my love will heal him I lied he gets worse.

What my mom and friends don't understand is I made a deal not with the devil but Darren's demons that I'll help him tame them by the look of things they are getting too strong for me.

𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓴   𝓨𝓸𝓾  𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰  . . .  . . .  𝓐 𝓯𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓯𝓻𝓸𝓶  𝓖𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓮