A son's first hero

Akira's POV

My Little Light,

No matter how much you may try to hide it, I am greatly aware of the fact that I am not the father you wish for. Trust me, I am as disheartened with the fact as you are.

How did it come to this, my child? I promised myself to do better than my father. I thought I was doing good with you and Hikari.

Did it happen so slowly that I never noticed? I know I made you wait. I always thought I would have time to make it up, that you would wait for your father as you used to when my travels. Remember, how you would run to my arms as soon you saw me?

Trust me, little light, there is nothing more in this world that I love more than you and your sister. You two are a part of me. My love for you two is probably the most selfish action I allowed myself to take.

It made me selfish. When I held you for the first time, you were so tiny, so fragile with your chubby features and stubbornly clenched fists. I was so, so afraid for you, my child.

I was afraid that one day they'll take you away from me, they'll strip you off of your innocence and send you to play the toy soldiers in a never-ending war.

I was afraid because the same had been done to me. To my friends. To my father.

The death, the horror, the guilt I had experienced made me hate myself. I don't wish it upon my foulest enemy, let alone my own flesh and blood.

So I promised myself that my children will not be forced to fight a war that wasn't theirs. I tried hard, so hard to achieve peace. And No matter how shaky its foundations became, I held on.

Because letting go would mean ordering my people to walk into the jaws of death. Not my children maybe, but someone's children definitely.

But I guess your father was foolish. The hellish fate I had tried to escape followed me to the present.

I know you blame me for Torhild's death. And you are right. It is my fault. I was the coward leader who didn't retaliate. I was the one who decided to give Lilura another chance. You can keep blaming me.

You know, my Sun-forged, I still can't help but hold onto the flickering hope that you will be waiting for me when I come back this time. But I know you won't. You haven't done it since I missed the play where you were supposed to play the hero. You didn't play the role, did you? 

Nothing hurts me more than the fact that you walked away from the chance of being the hero you always wanted to be.

Why didn't you ever say anything, Akira? Why did you not complain like a normal child? Throw  a tantrum? Why did you plaster a smile and wish me luck every time I had to leave for something I had deemed more important than you?

We used to be best friends. So why did you think you couldn't express your resentment to me? 

I am sorry, my son.

It's okay, you don't have to forgive me. I don't deserve it.

Just know that I will always love you, no matter what you do, no matter what you become.

Your father.

I stare at the letter for a long time through blurry vision.

A letter? He couldn't have come personally to say this?

And where on earth was the old man even going?

It's probably just a foreign visit again.

Sol, why was he being so dramatic for?

Despite my complaints, I couldn't help but let out a hearty chuckle.

He had apologized! He said he loves me!

And despite whatever outlandish scenario his brain had come up with, I was going to wait for him.

I was going to give him the surprise of his life.

Pff, the old man was going to die of a heart attack.

Then we will talk and I will demand an explanation from him.

My devious plot to surprise dad was interrupted by the echoes of someone's footsteps. I quickly hid the letter in my sleeves when the footsteps started to get closer.

Hmm, I know those footsteps. The scratchy sound accompanied by a thump made by the old torn bottom of some very tragic-looking shoes could only be hers.

A devious grin graced my lips. It was the midget.

"Boo," I jumped in front of her like I had done thousand times with Eboni.

But instead of the expected shrilly scream what I got was a slap by a very heavy book. With a yelp, I crouched down in pain.

Sol, my nose was bleeding!!

What was wrong with this girl? Why was she always ready to drag, tackle or hit people?

"Sol, I am so sorry. Are you alright, Akira?" She looked at my face with concern.

What's the point of it now? My nose is already broken.

Instead of the internal complaints, the words that came out of my mouth were, "No, It's alright. It was my fault."

Of course, it wasn't but we just recently started to talk to each other. I didn't want to risk that with me accusing her again.

"Come on, I'll walk you to the medical wing. Here," with that, she extended her hand at me.

I looked at it for a second, scared she might hit me again.

And my fear was very valid since I always got hurt whenever I was near her.

Her hands were as small as her. When I reached for it with my one, mine covered hers wholly.

It was oddly cold for some reason. It felt as cold as Torhild's dead body....NO! DO NOT THINK ABOUT IT!

We started to walk slowly towards the medical wing.

Thank God, the halls were mostly empty, or else this would've been the most embarrassing moment of my life right next to the time Uncle Yazid caught me half naked in his daughter's room. 

It was NOT what it sounds like. 

God, I feel like a toddler with a busted nose holding onto mother's hand.

"Why do you keep looking around? Are you scared that I might hit you again?" Isolde said with a soft chuckle.

Damn. Am I loosing too much blood? Why does her laugh sound like one of Amad's perfect symphonies?

"I am not scared of you, shorty. And I was looking around to see if someone saw me or not," I said, still holding my bloody nose.

"Hey, I am not a shorty. I am very average size from where I am from and why would you care if someone saw you?" she said while stomping my feet.

Told you she might inflict bodily harm on me. "Where are you from? The Island nation of Lilliput? And people will talk if they saw me with a busted nose." I said while trying not to trip with her feet trying to stomp me.

"I am from Prussia, you idiot. And you're not famous, who would care?" she said while doing the weird hair-flip she does when her hair gets in her eyes.

It hit me in the eye. Goddammit, she really was a walking health hazard.

And Prussia, really? That place was like a four way love story between crime, corruption, poverty and epidemics.

"I am famous. Well, more like infamous," I said, now rubbing my eyes and holding my bloody nose.

"Infamous, you? Why? For being a pervert who sneaks into girl's dormitory?" she laughed at her own joke.

"It must be very sad when only you laugh at your jokes, right?" I said with mock sympathy. "And just so you know, I am infamous for being the Grandmaster's son who's not like him," I said, trying not to let the bitterness slip in my words.

"Well, of course, you would be different. You are not him and he's not you. What's wrong with that?" she said with genuine confusion marring her adorable face.

Instead of answering, I gave a laugh.

Her world was really simple, wasn't it?

But unfortunately, the real world wasn't so easy. In this world where Reika Ryuuzaki was almost worshipped, where people strived to be like him, me, his only son, becoming completely different from him was akin to sin.

How dare I not be as kind and gentle, and overachieving as him? How dare I not win wars and forge peace treaties? How dare I not be the charming leader? How dare I indulge myself in petty hobbies like painting?

"And just so you know I am very funny. A new friend of mine said so," Isolde suddenly said, probably after not getting any answer from me. She looked very proud of herself.

"Did this friend of yours, by any chance, have a suspicious looking package of white powder on him? Or by any chance was he observing your chest area with great interest?" I deadpanned because those are the only reasons I could think of for finding her funny.

"You don't even know him! Don't say stuff like that about him!" she said, now looking genuinely offended on behalf of her friend.

"Introduce me to your friend sometimes then. I'll interrogate him about his definition of funny," I said, trying not to let drops of blood fall on my Yukata.

"I can't. He said he needs to go out of Azura for some time," she said, looking down while chowing her bottom lips.

Was everyone going out of Azura nowadays?

I was about to ask her this new friend's name when Inayat's voice floated to my ears from the end of the corridor.

I stopped and next to me Isolde halted too. She looked up to me with a questioning gaze. I held a finger up to my lips, signaling her to keep quiet. "You can't do anything about his decisions, Inayat." Dayuu's was full of concern as she tried to hold Inayat back from punching the wall.

"Why would he do it? He went unarmed! He knows it's dangerous. Lilura is crawling with Necromancers now." Inayat's voice sounded hoarse.

Someone was going to Lilura?

"It's his decision. he must've thought something," Dayuu tried again.

Isolde's questioning gaze flickered back to me from the conversation in front of us.

"But why did he have to go there personally? What if something happens to him?" Inayat's voice wavered.

My heart thumped with dread as the meaning of this conversation became clear to me.

Inayat only talked about one person with so much emotion.

"He is the Grandmaster. Lilura won't be able to harm him no matter how much they tried," Dayuu said, voice cracking with fear.

We all know that wasn't true.
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GLOSSARY

*Icarus: The son of Daedalus who, along with his father escape the Crete using wings made of wax and feather. And later dies due to his hubris when he flies too close to the Sun resulting in the wax to melt.

*Daedalus: A master craftsman and Icarus's father who created the labyrinth that imprisoned the Minotaur.

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Hey, people, I hope you liked this chapter. I hope the relationship dynamic between Akira and the Grandmaster cleared up a bit with this chapter to the readers.

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