It smelled like sushi.

To be more precise, it smelled like a whole, stinkin' heap of fish. Lucy inhaled deeply without opening her eyes, vaguely aware of an odd sensation reminiscent of being underwater... except without the wet.

Curious, Lucy dared to open a single eye, and was instantly overwhelmed by a beautiful, bright collage of colors that sprang out from the scenery and into her mind. It was amazing, it was wondrous, it was-

-slightly familiar.

Lucy sprang up (dimly noting the spongy, almost moist feeling of the... whatever-it-was that she had been lying on), looked wildly around, and felt her entire body grow woozy.

"I'm underwater," she murmured breathlessly. A chain of small bubbles trailed out of her lips and floated upwards, drifting slowly towards the marble ceiling of the building she had awoken in. Another thought occurred to her- she squashed her anticipation, gathering her nerves and glancing down.

Her mouth dropped open, and from it came a garbled sound; her vision swam in front of her (and the irony of it was not lost on her. At. ALL). The blonde flailed about rather ungracefully and smacked aside several seaweed-pillows in the process.

Instead of her long, sexy, gorgeous legs, she had a fish tail.

A freakin' tail.

A floppy, pink, scaly much-too-fish-like-for-her-own-sanity tail.

A high-pitched keening noise escaped Lucy's throat, and were she not underwater, she might have foamed at the mouth a bit. Her first thought went to her favorite pair of jeans (which were probably gathering dust in her apartment, all perfectly folded and lonely without her) and how they would never fit this monstrosity, but then-

"This tail!" She wailed. "This flippin' tail makes my butt look huge!"

"No, really?" A medium-sized fluorescent fish glided up to her, huffing exasperatedly. Lucy gave a high-pitched yelp and slowly turned her head to face the fish. "You just noticed?" He looked at her with disdain and made an odd sort of noise that she guessed was the fish equivalent of a snort.

Shocked, Lucy didn't even register the insult, instead jabbing a finger at the fish and trembling. "Y-You just spoke to me! A f-fish just spoke to me!" Sure, this stuff was in all the fairy tales (and quite frankly, she shouldn't have been surprised to see it happen now), but to see it was just so... "So surreal," Lucy breathed out.

"Blondie," the fish snorted, "you've been living in this palace for eighteen years, six of which I have been your attendant, and you're still as dumb as a-"

Lucy twitched.

Several moments later found her humming happily to herself, swimming about the bright, glamorous underwater bedroom as the poor fish (who was buried under a pile of seaweed pillows) gasped out muffled pleas for freedom. It was so much easier to slice through the water with her tail than she would have thought, and the movement was so effortless that she was pretty sure she'd never feel quite the same about walking on land again...

For a moment, she allowed herself to be lost in the feeling of the warm, caressing water on her skin; for a split second Natsu, magical books, and the mystery of which fairy tale she was imprisoned within were the farthest things from her mind. (Okay, maybe less than that, because heaven knew Natsu was always first and foremost in that godforsaken mind of hers.)

The blonde girl grew agitated as the thought of pink-haired fire-breathing morons and twisted fairy tales grew more and more pressing, until finally she turned with a flick of her tail (oh, it was so fun!) and pulled a pillow away from the large stack that was piled in the corner of the room. With a gasp of relief, the neon-colored fish burst free and shot Lucy an irritated glance.

"Sorry," she apologized halfheartedly (but honestly, anyone who made dumb-blonde jokes was just... ugh!). "I apologize for my behavior. Um..." She fidgeted for a moment.

The fish cleared his throat haughtily, his scales flashing in the dim glow of the luminous jellyfish floating about in the room. "Princess," he said scathingly, "your father has ordered you to his throne room at once."

"Why?" Lucy blinked, and then frowned. Whenever her father had called her to his office back at home, it had always been a... rather unpleasant experience... to say the least. She had always left the large room to crouch in the harsh artificial lights of the too-big hallway, on the verge of tears or already sobbing her young heart out.

The fish coughed to regain her attention and Lucy shook off the depressing memory. "As you know, the annual Spring Concert is coming up. Your father, his Serene Highness, wishes to discuss something with you."

Lucy bit her lip, having already guessed that this tale was the aptly named Little Mermaid, and struggled to recall any details from the fairy tale that could help fill her in on what might lay ahead. The overwhelming colors and abrupt change of atmosphere left her mind woozy (it wasn't every day you turned into a mermaid, after all... but then again, she had taken out Ultear with a frying pan not too long ago), and she groaned, finding herself unable to remember a single useful thing.

The fish coughed again. "Don't just float there with that vague expression on your silly face, go to your father at once." Lips pursed, Lucy shot him one last dirty look before swimming from the room.

By now she should have already gotten used to the disorienting feeling she had when shifting worlds, but as she swam through over-grown coral halls so narrow that the branches almost scraped her bare arms (she thankful all the while for the seashells that covered her assets), her head pounded with the beginnings of a headache that could (probably) only be remedied by Natsu's presence.

The halls of the underwater palace were a wondrous thing- unbound by the same restrictions that came with land and gravity, the coral and algae-covered halls wound this way and that, not just left and right, but also up and down.

A bright light was shining ahead of her, and she held up a hand in a measly attempt to shield her eyes. "I see the light," she grumbled half heartedly, and then mentally chided herself for her downtrodden attitude. "What would Natsu think if he saw me like this?"

"I'd think you look pretty damn funny as a fish," a familiar voice cackled.

Lucy halted in her ascent, her heart pounding at the sound of his voice. Her face suddenly felt rather warm... and what was she doing going towards some insanely bright light in the middle of some coral-reef-like-hallway, anyway? She was supposed to be looking for Natsu! Lucy's heart sped up even more and she felt ready to either whack him across the face or throw her arms around him, she wasn't sure which. She turned-

-only to see Happy with the most peculiar-looking fish tail protruding from his rear. His mouth hung open, and wide eyes were staring hungrily at her own tail, moving back and forth with every whip of her tail. If it wasn't for the fact that they were underwater, there probably would have been drool dripping from his mouth. He had retained his cat ears in this form; they twitched excitedly on his head. It was such a comical sight she almost doubled over from laughing.

"Aye! Princess!" Happy beamed. "How do you like my impression of an idiot?"

"Oh, don't be mean," she said (although Happy's impression was quite accurate indeed). "Um... Happy...?"

"Aye," Happy murmured, staring at her tail again. "Princess, you're sure looking just as yummy as ever..."

Lucy chuckled nervously and used her tail to nudge him away. "What's with that? Aren't you a fish too? You don't want to eat yourself do you...?"

At this, Happy's gaze finally moved up from the blonde's pink tail to her face, looking almost hurt. "Lucy, don't be mean! I'm a catfish, how many times do I have to tell you that? A catfish! I'm not a fish!"

She stifled a laugh at his decidedly Happy-like logic and decided to let the matter be (although no matter how she looked at it, Happy was a fish through and through, from cat-ears to... dorsal fin, though just what kind of fish he was, she wasn't really sure), trying not to show her disappointment that it had been Happy and not Natsu she had heard.

"Oh, yeah, Princess," Happy cocked his head to the side and tapped her tail with his fin. "You're supposed to be going to the throne room, right? Tomorrow's July 1st... your birthday, right?"

Lucy felt her smile falter.

"You're going the wrong way, silly Lucy! Have you forgotten your own home?"

She forced her head to nod back mechanically. If Happy noticed her strange response, he didn't comment on it. "Here, down this hallway..."

July 1st, and only seven fairy tales in. One day each for Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Rapunzel, three weeks in Beauty and the Beast, and three and a half in Sinbad. The Princess and the Pea had been a respite, being much shorter than the previous two tales.

Several weeks, gone just like that. Caught in the excitement of the whirlwind of fairy tales, Lucy found herself wondering about her rent, her keys, her possessions...

...her real guild mates and friends- who were no doubt worried to death.

She trailed after Happy, an unsettling feeling itching in her heart despite the fact that it was her birthday.

________________________

Natsu stepped out of bed, stretching his arms over his head and letting out a sigh of relief as the headache from the pain that was moving onto new chapters slowly ebbed away. He looked down...

...and screamed a girly, high-pitched scream because he was wearing a pink, frilly, lacy dress.

With a bodice.

_______________________

"Princess," a deep baritone rang throughout the chamber, sending a small shudder up Lucy's spine as she entered.

"Father," she answered quietly, her eyes flitting up to meet his.

She was greeted by a huge beard, fluffy and white in all its glory, that blocked her father's face from sight. The beard rustled and seemed to give a little swish in the water, and she was suddenly seeing Makarov's face, beaming down at her with a twinkle in his eye.

Lucy let out a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding and smiled. Figured. She always had way too much tension when things involved her real father anyway, and although the last time she'd seen him in the book he'd been warm and kind, there was always the niggling fear in her heart that he'd be the man from her nightmares whom she still had yet to make peace with.

She found herself giggling, though, when she realized that the large, intimidating torso that she'd been expecting on the king turned out to be Makarov's usual spindly chest, and that the beard itself was twice his size, floating about his person merrily as if it had a mind of its own.

"Lucy, Lucy, Lucy," Makarov tutted affectionately. "You're missing rehearsal again. Did you sleep in?"

"A little," she admitted, choking back a squeak that threatened to escape when his beard entangled itself with his limbs. "Killer headache." Not a lie.

He fixed her with an amused look. "You'd better get to it. Macao will kill me if you're late again." A pause, a smirk. "Well, he can try." The old man fingered a trident that seemed much too large for him and leaned against the throne, snickering to himself.

Lucy rolled her eyes as Makarov dismissed her, waving her towards one of the numerous corridors that branched from the throne room. Happy followed faithfully, trailing after her and pausing to leer at every small fish that passed by them as they progressed.

"LUCY!"

The blonde shrieked as she was caught in a whirlwind of limbs and squeals, nearly smashing into the colonies of barnacles that lined the walls.

"Lussheee! I misshed yewww," Wendy whimpered into her chest, her words muffled. Lucy laughed in response and hugged the enthusiastic girl, suddenly aware of the presence of other mermaids.

"Lisanna," her gaze flitted from one face to another. "Levy! Mira, Juvia, Cana-"

"You're laaaateee, sis," Cana drawled lazily, circling around Lucy and pinching her right cheek, pulling until Lucy whimpered and batted lightly at her hand. "Rehearsal's over and the concert's tonight."

Sis? Lucy began to stammer out several half-hearted excuses, feeling a peculiar warmth wash over her as Cana ignored her, whining about how the concert room didn't have a storage of booze (and how would that work underwater anyway?). Years of being an only child, and suddenly she had six sisters. Her lips curved upwards, and she felt abruptly giddy. The feeling was quickly interrupted by a prickling feeling at the back of her head, as if she were being watched. She turned and was greeted by Juvia, her eyes narrowed into furious slits and her face flushed and much too close, their noses almost touching.

"J-Juvia?" Lucy laughed nervously. Juvia's lower lip pushed up exaggeratedly into a comical pout and her hands shot forward to grip Lucy's shoulders. Wendy squeaked and went to hide behind Cana, who was ransacking the room as if there might be inconspicuous bottles of alcohol hiding in the large, oddly-shaped shells that looked distinctly like tubas.

"You were with Gray, weren't you?" Juvia wailed, her tail thrashing behind her. "Juvia knows that's why you were late!"

Lisanna and Mirajane giggled conspiratorially from behind Lucy, who whirled on them disbelievingly as Juvia flailed. "What in the world did you say to her?"

"Nothing," Lisanna smiled innocently, batting her long eyelashes. "But as the palace guards came in for their lunch break, we stopped to talk with Gray, and he noticed how you were always out in the gardens, looking towards the surface, and when Juvia heard him say your name-"

"-we couldn't stop her," Mirajane finished, shrugging happily and looking as if stopping Juvia was the last thing that would ever cross her mind. "But y'know, I do think you and Gray would make a cute couple-"

This sent Juvia into another round of hysterics, and Lucy tried to comfort her, but to no avail. ("Juvia thought sisters weren't supposed to go behind each others' backs! Juvia can just see it- you approaching Gray as he's on duty, distracting him when you have no right to be doing ANYTHING of the sort because his heart belongs to JUVIA-")

"So, if we're not gonna rehearse..." Lucy backed away from Juvia, whose glare had become even more heated, and pleadingly glanced at Lisanna.

The girl shrugged, her cropped white hair floating upward with the small movement. "You could go out to the gardens, I guess, like you always do. Everyone knows that you don't really need to rehearse."

"Daddy would say otherwise, he thinks practice makes perfect," Wendy giggled, finally deeming it safe to come out from behind Cana (who had indeed found a beer bottle tucked inside a French horn). "But I think you're already the bestest, most perfectest singer out of all of us!" She smiled so brightly it was almost blinding; Lucy melted a little on the inside (although the Sleeping Beauty chapter had recently reminded her of exactly how 'bestest' she was).

It was at this time Cana decided to hook an arm through one of Lucy's, grinning lazily as she tugged her blonde 'sister' towards a large, ornate door, its details had been chipped away by time but it was still magnificent nonetheless. With the hand that wasn't clutching the beer bottle, Cana waved grandly at the door with mock enthusiasm, and it creaked open.

"I'll join you in drooling over the palace guards," Cana waggled her eyebrows (Lisanna and Mirajane burst into another fit of giggles as Juvia screeched at the implication; Wendy meekly attempted to placate her, unsure of what to say.)

"Th-that's not it at all," Lucy groaned and then decided that convincing her new sisters was a lost cause, pushing past the doors and into the palace gardens with a smug Cana in tow.

_______________________

There were few things that Natsu disliked. One of those few things was-of course-being separated from Lucy, his best friend and, and, and...whatever the hell she had become after the past few chapters in this damned book. Thinking about it gave him something akin to a headache. Oh, and he disliked thinking too. Natsu, being Natsu, also despised transportation (OH GOD, TRANSPORTATION), Gray, shaved ice, losing, seeing his friends in pain, and Laxus.

However, today he would be able to add yet another thing to his list of stuff-to-be-extremely-pissy-about: pink, frilly dresses.

The odd thing was, really, that when he opened his mouth to scream, it had been a high-pitched, keening sort of noise (as Elfman would say: Not. Manly. At. ALL), and to his immense dissatisfaction, his chest felt heavy, as if he were carrying some new burden...

And to Natsu's great surprise, he was.

His first reaction was a prick of curiosity; Natsu plopped back down onto the bed he had woken up in and proceeded to bounce up and down on it (it was a nice bed, really great for bouncing and probably jumping and hitting his head on the ceiling, though he would save the last part for later), not quite enjoying the new sensation, but not quite disliking it either.

His next reaction was to fondle his new breasts.

A rather pretty maid chose this time to come into the room for whatever reason, only to drop the tray of tea she had been carrying, not seeming to notice when the dark liquid sloshed onto the carpet.

"Look!" Natsu beamed. "I have boobs!"

The maid nodded furiously, her head bobbing up and down, her eyes fixated on Natsu's hands that remained latched to his chest.

"I'm a girl," he continued, awestruck. "I'm a GIRL!"

"Y-you always have been, Princess," the maid stammered out and attempted to clean the mess that she had created, apologizing profusely. Natsu paid her no heed.

"I'm a girl," he repeated once more, "and I'm hotter than Lucy! AND I'm a PRINCESS! Wait 'til she gets a load of this!" On the last word Natsu straightened himself and jumped up and down on the bed enthusiastically; his chest happily followed suit.

The maid stared blankly and fell over in a dead faint.

And then it hit him (or her): an overwhelmingly complex mix of feelings so impossible to understand that it could only be female: he was in some strange place and he could feel the absence of magical power in his body and he was female and OHMAVISWHATWASHEGOINGTODO? (Briefly, Natsu wondered if this was what Lucy experienced each chapter.)

Yet again, another abrupt wave of something terrifyingly female hit Natsu: genuine concern for someone he had knocked unconscious and didn't know. Slowly, he approached the crumpled maid, and then deciding that he didn't want to lose what he suspected was his last trace of manliness, he prodded the maid not-so-gently with his foot.

She stirred after a few good kicks (not kicks, nudges, of course he didn't kick her) and sat up, a dazed look in her eyes. Natsu cleared his throat (and cringed, because it was just such a feminine clearing of the throat).

"S-so sorry, your highness!" The maid shot up and attempted to straighten herself (but to no avail), and then coughed out, "Um, Her Majesty wishes to see you."

"Her Majesty?" Natsu echoed. She gave him a look that was a mix of confusion, annoyance, and embarrassment.

"Your mother," she said pointedly, and then flushed red. "Ah, please don't tell her that I dropped your daily tea..." She shuffled her feet anxiously. "I really am sorry..."

"It's okay," Natsu rolled his eyes and practically pranced out of the room, daintily lifting his skirts. The maid looked after him, her eyebrows furrowing with confusion.

Moments later, she heard a choked off sound, followed by the light pattering of footsteps turning into heavy thuds. Peeking out and around the door, she saw the Princess walking with a swagger that could only be called masculine and then spitting into a nearby vase as she walked by.

________________________________

The palace gardens really were something else.

It was like whole place was alive, bright and dancing in the water; the creatures gave off a magical life as they drifted amongst the sea plants, giving the gardens an ethereal glow. Decorated slopes surrounded the palace and extended down into a broad plateau of sea flowers that ranged from small globes of crimson to petals that seemed to explode in scarlet, drifting ever so slightly in the water and giving the illusion that the gardens themselves were on fire. Overhead, the reflection of the sunset cast a ruby net of light that spread against the surface and melted into the waters.

It was breathtaking- even the expanse of the carefully trimmed Heartphilia estate in its full glory couldn't compare. Lucy was so drawn in by its beauty that she almost didn't notice when Cana shot off, bored with the garden's typical splendor, to gamble with the palace guards (while surreptitiously relieving them of their booze).

Her lips turned upwards in response to the fiery glow that bathed the gardens. Natsu, it was just like Natsu, bright and warm and beautiful and funny and cute- wait, no, no. Lucy shook her head. Even if they had been 'engaged' for a grand total of ten minutes in the last chapter, thinking of him romantically was still something that made her feel a weird mixture of giddiness and frustration. Natsu wasn't a total idiot, but she didn't have the guts to make any kind of move that would get through that... that...

"Freaking thick, stupid, straightforward, dense skull of his," she muttered, her warm gaze shifting abruptly into an irritable glare that seemed to make the plants shrink back in fear. Feeling an odd sort of satisfaction, she gave out a small snarl, and to her glee, the garden swayed away from her. She smirked, feeling her tail lash back and forth in her own personal little victory until she realized that it wasn't her own fierceness (or ability to take out irritation on garden plants) that had caused the movement- in the distance, someone was singing a beautiful, haunting song, and the plants were swaying in time to the music.

Magic, Lucy realized with a start. The plants hadn't just seemed like they were glowing, they were! And if whoever was singing had the ability to make these plants react, then they might possess magic! And if that were the case...

"I might be able to find Natsu," Lucy breathed out, and glanced behind her to make sure that no one was watching her before shooting off into the distance.

As cautious as she usually was, Lucy had considered the possibilities. She clearly did not possess any magic in this tale- its absence produced an uncomfortable squeeze in her chest-but this seemed to be a world in which magic existed. And in this book, finding Natsu and reuniting with him was her priority. Her 'father' and 'sisters', familiar as they were, would probably be against her leaving them in pursuit of... of whatever it was exactly that Natsu happened to be in this tale. She wrinkled her nose. What was the worst that could happen?

However, the closer she got to the melody, the more nervous she felt, especially as the seascape steadily became more and more barren. The lush coral and bright sea life gave way to withered brown plants and rocks. And the source of the chilling voice... A small cave sat nestled in a sea mountain that seemed to stretch upwards for forever- Lucy had to crane her neck to even try and glimpse the peak. Somehow, its size was ominous, sending chills down her spine. Gathering up her courage, she neared the cave entrance.

The inside of the cave was little more than an empty, sinuous tunnel- the second Lucy entered, however, the singing cut off abruptly. Lucy paused, hesitant.

"Lucyyy..."

"HOLY-" Lucy's hands flew up to muffle her shriek before it could fully escape, but it was already too late- her screech echoed deep into the tunnel. In her horror, she briefly considered running (or rather, in this case, swimming) for her life while screaming at the top of her lungs, but when the image of Natsu flashed into her mind, she froze, torn between fleeing and venturing deeper in.

Natsu, his cheeks flushed with excitement and his smile wide, fangs glinting, Natsu, with his eyes glistening in concern for her, her dear Dragonslayer...

"Luuuuccyyyyyyyy..."

"Natsu," she repeated to herself stubbornly and slowly inched farther into the cavern.

There was a light coming from somewhere deep in the tunnel- it flickered against the nooks and crannies of the walls and cast a dark, sinister shadow against her skin. The tunnel was curving inwards upon itself now, and Lucy could almost hear her doubts taking form and whispering around her in the cold water-

"Boo."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Lucy screamed, jerking into what she thought was a defensive martial arts pose (even though she wasn't sure any form of physical self-defense would work quite as well underwater) and whirling around to see-

-a petite mer-girl, with flowing blonde hair that was as long as her body, and what seemed to be wings poking out from her head. She grinned happily, and immediately Lucy relaxed, embarrassed that she had been afraid of a little girl with nothing but a bright smile.

"Were... were you the one that was singing?" Lucy asked, smiling back hesitantly. "How did you know my name...?"

The girl simply cocked her head, a small giggle escaping from her upturned lips. Lucy glanced around, taking in her surroundings. There was a black, empty cauldron and shelves upon shelves of bottles and books and random knickknacks. The walls were dotted with large crystals that cast an eerie glow- they must have been what had cast the shadows against the tunnel. She squinted, peering closer at the girl's face. Her eyes were a beautiful emerald green, but the depths did not reflect the light from the crystals.

"My name is Mavis," the girl said suddenly, breaking the silence. "I know your name because, well..." she smirked, giving Lucy a knowing glance. "Never mind. ANYWAY!" She circled Lucy, laughing. "I know you, Lucy~"

Mavis... the name struck as familiar, but somehow Lucy's head remained just as clouded as it had in the beginning of the chapter. There was something familiar about this girl, something she just had to know, and yet the book was messing with her head..."Y-you do?"

Mavis gave another curious smile. "I'm Mavis," she emphasized. "Of course I do! I know how you got here..." she leered at Lucy. "And I know what you need."

Lucy bit her lip. As far as she knew, the only ones aware of the entire situation were her spirits (who appeared in the tales inconsistently), Natsu, and herself. The celestial spirits were only knowledgeable because they existed in multiple realms. Could that mean that Mavis was somehow...?

"So!" Mavis cut off Lucy's train of thought. "Let's get on with it, then!"

"G-get on with w-what, exactly...?" Lucy stammered nervously.

"The ritual, of course!" Mavis sang out, sweeping several bottles off one of the shelves and settling herself on it, placing her hands delicately over her tail and bouncing up and down enthusiastically.

"What ritual?"

The little mer-girl winked. "The one that will help you reunite with your lover, of course!"

"Lover?" Lucy spluttered. "What are you talking-"

"Now, now. Don't argue with me. I know everything," Mavis tutted, shaking her head mockingly. "And I'm not going to be talking."

Rounding her pink lips, Mavis began to sing again.

The second she opened her mouth, a soft light seemed to float from her throat, enveloping Mavis in a gentle light and drifting down towards Lucy, seeking, and wrapping her in warmth. All at once, the tension in Lucy's body left her, and she felt almost giddy and free, as if her entire body had become a ton lighter. Her toes began to tingle, and the feeling crept up, covering her legs, and... and...

Her eyelids fluttering, Lucy closed her eyes and blacked out.

Snickering, Mavis plucked a book off the shelf and began to read aloud to herself.

"It was very late; yet the little mermaid could not take her eyes from the beautiful prince, and oh, how handsome the young prince looked while the music resounded through the clear night air..."

_____________________

Natsu turned a corner and marched passed several attendants huffily, storming into the throne room. This whole being a girl business was a lot worse than he'd thought it would be. His heavy breasts kept threatening to bounce out of his low-cut dress, and their weight was seriously killing his back. And as if that weren't enough, his muscles were gone, and with his muscles, his strength. This entire body was too weak for him! And for some odd reason, his irritation was increased tenfold by just being female. It was as if everything was just that much more annoying. The birds chirping merrily outside were annoying. The enthusiastic attendants were annoying. The absence of his magic was annoying, and Lucy not being with him was EXTREMELYannoying.

"Look at your mother when you stand in her presence," a woman's voice commanded sternly, and feeling annoyance well up again, Natsu looked up, ready to snap, when he saw...

"Erza?" He stammered out, his voice ridiculously high and squeaky. He cursed inwardly. "You're my mom?"

"Damn straight I am," Erza rolled her eyes and stood, brushing off her dress, which was rather simple compared to his own and yet still managed to seem gaudy. Next to her sat Jellal, who was staring down at his lap, engrossed in a heavy-looking bound book with pages and bookmarks sticking out every which way. Natsu stared at the ornate crown that adorned his blue hair, the pieces connecting.

"Jellal is my DAD?"

"Did you hit your head falling out of bed this morning?" Jellal asked, quirking an eyebrow. His eyes didn't leave his book. A moment passed, and then: "Again?"

"Maybe another good knock will fix it," Erza said calmly, picking up a heavy sword that lay against her chair and brandishing it lightly, as if it were no more than a twig. Natsu grinned, cracking his knuckles.

"That a challenge? You're on, Erza!"

Several moments later found Natsu with a torn dress, bloody and bruised on the floor. Not even having broken a sweat, Erza calmly sheathed her sword and returned it to its place beside the throne. For the first time, Jellal looked up, gazing steadily at Natsu. Natsu blew a raspberry.

"Honey, you go on and have breakfast," Jellal sighed dismissively. "You should know better than to try and go against your mom by now."

"Don't call me honey," Natsu hissed in horror, cringing (JELLAL, calling him HONEY! Oh, the HORROR) at the same time Erza intoned, "Not yet, I have to talk to her about something."

"What is it?" He asked, wincing yet again at how feminine his voice sounded. And now his breasts were sore. Did Lucy ever have these problems, being irritated with herself? After all, her voice was pretty high pitched, and her breasts were kind of gigantic. Come to think of it, he much preferred it when Lucy was the one with the voice and the breasts. In fact, he liked her voice and breasts. Her voice was appropriately pretty for a girl, and her breasts were bouncy and nice, and wait, what.

"I don't like Lucy like that!" Natsu shouted, his annoyance peaking, and then realized that he had just cut off Erza mid-sentence. He chuckled nervously; she regarded him, her gaze steely.

"Well, I'm glad that you dislike whoever this Lucy is, because as a Princess, you are due to be married quite soon."

"AGAIN?" Natsu groaned, smashing his head against the marbled floor (and subsequently putting cracks in the tiles).

Erza blinked. "What?"

"I'm tired of being married off," Natsu raged, smashing his fists against the floor in a rather unladylike manner (briefly, he recalled Lucy once whining about OMS, or QRS, or something like that whenever she was particularly moody...) "And now I'm a GIRL?"

"You've always been a girl," Jellal remarked.

"And my boobs are huge!" Natsu continued to wail, easily feeling the most down he had in a long time.

Jellal coughed awkwardly. "You... can thank your mom for that."

"Ah. Well." Erza said indifferently, crossing her arms over her bosom and turning away, pretending her face wasn't a light pink.

There was a long silence as Jellal and Erza gazed at each other, mouths slightly parted but silent. Jellal stared intently, a hand reaching out slowly-

"Get a room," Natsu snarled into the floor, not moving from his spot on the ground. Jellal coughed awkwardly and Erza blushed even deeper, eyeing the sword by the throne, fidgeting.

"As I was saying," she continued, "Prince Gray of the kingdom next door with whom we have long been at war with has been betrothed to you as a part of our peace treaty."

Pause. Then:

"Oh, HELLLLL no," Natsu shrieked. "I am NOT marrying Gray! That is just... so freakin' WRONG." He gagged, his new feminine voice taking up the sound to a cringe-worthy pitch. He staggered to his feet and stormed out of the room, intent on leaving the palace.

Erza looked at Jellal, who shrugged, as if to say, teenage girls will be teenage girls.

"So..." she raised an eyebrow. "How 'bout that room?"

Jellal choked on his own spit.

____________________

Natsu took off his ornate slippers (he was wearing slippers, for goodness' sake), fervently wishing he could burn them to a crisp. He settled for throwing them off the cliffs near the palace, watching them tumble down and into the ocean water below.

Where the hell was Lucy? He scowled, feeling his brow crease. Grasping his dress, he tore the skirts up to the bodice, and settled into a full sprint towards the beach, his legs finally able to move freely.

He was going to get married to Gray, he had no idea where Lucy was nor what fairy tale he was in, and his chest was jiggling with every step! He kicked the sand with more force than necessary with each stride. Being a girl wasn't exactly easy, and Natsu found himself with a little more respect for the blonde stellar spirit mage that occupied his thoughts constantly.

And what was the big deal with that anyway? For the past few weeks, Lucy had been dominant in his head. Even Igneel had been pushed aside momentarily in favor of the blonde girl- the book had messed with his priorities. And not just his priorities...

"More like my entire head," Natsu growled, fingering his longer pink locks that suddenly seemed a lot shinier and smoother. Lucy had become more... Lucy. He couldn't quite place his finger on it. It was like there was something there in his chest that he knew about, and yet he couldn't remember exactly what it was. Something was blocking it, blocking him from realization.

"Stupid Lucy with her stupid blonde hair and her stupid long legs and..."

Suddenly, he tripped over a person with blonde hair and long legs.

Stumbling and flailing before regaining his balance, he whirled around and saw, much to his amazement, a naked man.

Although normally it wouldn't even fluster him to see a naked man, somehow Natsu could feel his face heating up (curse his new female body with his new female mind!), and he coughed awkwardly, whirling around. "A-are you okay?" He asked loudly.

No response.

"ARE YOU OKAY?" He asked again loudly, and this time he was awarded with a soft, low moan that sent shudders down his spine. What was wrong with him? He scowled when he heard the stranger shifting on the sand and turned to give the man a piece of his mind.

However, nothing came out of his mouth- he was stopped short by the man's beautiful chocolate eyes, tinted hazel, glinting, and... wait...

"Lucy?" He squeaked, his voice cracking and shooting up several octaves.

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"Ughh... Natsu?" Lucy groaned, rubbing her head and then freezing. Her voice... Her voice was deep! She blinked rapidly several times and then gestured wildly at Natsu.

"You're- is that- are you- are you a girl?" She babbled.

Natsu bristled, and Lucy found his annoyed face... cute. At least, she did until he growled in a soft voice, "Yeah, and you're naked."

"I'm NAKED!" Lucy whimpered (but because of her voice, it came out more like a guttural grunt), instinctively covering her chest before realizing it was completely flat (and much to her immense satisfaction, broad and muscular). "Wait a sec..." she peered at Natsu, whose pout curved into a slight smirk. "Your chest- it's bigger than mine was!"

"Maybe," Natsu said in a sing-song voice, squeezing his arms together against his chest and letting it bounce. "Maybe not. I mean, c'mon, at least your..." He glanced down at her lap and leered suggestively, although a blush was definitely prominent on his heart-shaped face. "I mean, yours might be a tinyyy bigger than mine was-"

Lucy punched his gut (while noting his small waist and voluptuous curves with a careful eye, unable to help it) and snarled. "If you're going to be a girl you could try being a little more sensitive."

"And if you're going to be a man, you could try being a little less sensitive!" Natsu pursed his lips, all too aware that he was, in fact, acting a lot more sensitive than usual. Lucy shifted (Natsu glimpsed a six-pack that rivaled his own original body's and stubbornly pretended that he saw nothing) and seemed to consider.

"You're right. And I do need some cover up..." Lucy grinned toothily. Natsu felt momentarily faint at the sight (and wondered what the heck was wrong with him, because he was obviously having some serious issues).

Or at least he did, until Lucy tore off the bottom couple feet of his pink dress.

"Hey!" Natsu protested and immediately clamped his mouth shut, angry with himself for succumbing to the femininity the book was casting onto him.

Lucy tied the fabric around her waist so that it covered her unsavory parts without looking down (she hadn't even seen that kind of thing on Earthland yet, excluding Gray, but hey, Gray was Gray so he didn't count). What exactly had Mavis done to her? Yeah, she was a guy now instead of a girl (and much to her satisfaction, she was a head taller than Natsu), but it was strange that Mavis somehow knew that Natsu would be a girl and that they were supposed to be...

"L-l-lov... lovers," Lucy choked out in a strangled voice as she tied the knot around her waist.

"Hey, hey, heyy, Lucy," Natsu poked her several times. She sighed lowly. At the very least, Natsu was still Natsu, even if he was being more feminine than usual. "What fairy tale are we in?"

"You still haven't figured it out?" Lucy rolled her eyes, getting up from her seated position and reaching out a hand to help Natsu up. He refused her hand, stubbornly standing up himself. "We're in The Little Mermaid."

Natsu stared at her (Lucy noted that his eyes seemed a lot rounder, his eyelashes longer and his-) and shook his head several times, his long pink hair shaking about his shoulders. "I haven't seen any mermaids, though..."

Lucy opened her mouth to explain, paused, and then decided against it. "It's... a long story. Just trust me."

"Of course I trust you!" Natsu beamed. "You're Lucy, why would you lie to me? I'm just jealous that you got to see mermaids. What do they look like? Do they smell?" He paused. "Do you think they taste good?"

The stellar spirit mage shook her head (her hair was short and it was just all so strange) and laughed, marveling in how deep her voice was now. "I wouldn't know, I was kind of a mermaid myself..."

Natsu's face fell a bit, obviously disappointed, but his smile returned quickly after a sly glance at her face. "Let's go back to the castle," he said abruptly, "I have so much to show you!"

"Castle?" Lucy murmured, and glanced at his elegant dress. She should've figured, really (it wasn't exactly every day you saw Natsu Dragneel in a dress). "You're a Princess aren't you?"

"And you're a mermaid, aren't you?" He asked with a toothy smile, grabbing Lucy's hand and dragging her back up the beach and towards the cliff path. "C'mon, let's go tell Erza I don't have to get married to Gray!"

"Married to Gray?" Lucy blanched (and inwardly marveled that she could ever feel a twinge of jealousy for Gray of all people). "Wait, why Erza?"

"Oh yeah," Natsu turned mid-step. "Erza's my mom."

A pause. Silence.

"Wait, ERZA'S YOUR MOM?"

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Deep under the sea in the very same cavern that held a certain Lucy Heartfilia just hours ago, Mavis Vermilion flipped to the last page, her gaze knowing as she murmured the last lines of the fateful tale.

"And the little mermaid, eyes already glazing, looked once more at the Prince, hurled herself over the bulwarks into the sea, and felt her body dissolve in foam..."