Jeno was over the moon since last night and Solji didn't know what to feel.

She was happy that he was happy, of course. But they didn't get the chance to talk about the situation that happened the past few days. She deemed it inappropriate to bring it up now, too afraid to ruin Jeno's happiness.

She decided to just talk about it when she found a perfect opportunity.

Right now, the three of them: Solji, Jeno, and Mark, were sitting on the bleachers watching the soccer practice while talking about the phone call from last night.

"So last night while I was watching Bridgerton, you know the episode where they were at the library and---" Mark was cut off when Solji held up her hand.

"Please, we already know the details about that episode. Just... just tell us straight to the point."

Mark grinned apologetically before continuing. "So I was saying, I was watching that when I heard the notification of my phone. Someone messaged me on Instagram. The account had no photos and no followers but she was following me.

"I was intrigued when she sent a message: Hi Mark! Long time no see! How are you? So of course I asked her: Who the hell are you? Then she sent me a picture. You have no idea how shocked I was when I opened it. I know we haven't seen Heejin for a long time but her face didn't change at all. She's still cute. I didn't want to believe what I was seeing so we did a video call. Dang, Jeno! You have no idea how happy I was last night."

Instead of smiling, Jeno frowned.

"Why did she message you instead of me?" he asked.

"That's because you do not have an Instagram! Don't worry, she didn't forget about you. She asked for your number and she said she will contact us when she's free."

"Did she tell you where she lives?"

"She told me their family stayed in Germany and yesterday, she arrived in South Korea."

This time, Jeno broke into a huge grin. "I can't believe she's back! This is all too good to be true! Can I... can I see her picture?"

Mark brought out his phone and tapped the screen before shoving it to Jeno.

Jeno instantly smiled at the sight of Heejin. He zoomed in the photo and chuckled to himself.

She's so pretty, Solji thought. She looked like a doll with the prettiest pair of eyes and the brightest smile. It was true that nothing had changed in her physical appearance. If anything, she grew up into an attractive and mature woman.

There it was again, the twisting pain inside her chest as she watched the man beside him gushing over his friend's photo. She told herself she would be happy for him no matter what so she faked a smile.

Unknowingly to her, Mark was observing her quietly. She was too focused watching Jeno that she didn't feel Mark's burning gaze.

Jeno was looking at Heejin's photo, Solji was looking at Jeno, and Mark was looking at Solji.

***

It was one of those days when Solji decided--out of nowhere--to get her life together and now she's organizing her closet. Karina and Yeji asked her if she wanted to hang out but she declined.

She wasn't exactly in the mood to do anything. She wanted to be left alone with her thoughts. Isolate herself, get her shit together, and face them when she's feeling better. That was her plan. However, it was easier said than done.

Her memory drifted back to the image of Jeno smiling adoringly at Heejin's picture.

She was pretty, probably the prettiest girl she had ever seen. Or maybe it was her insecurity talking. Sure, Heejin was pretty, but she wasn't bad either. After all, she was known as one of the beauties in both Chemical Engineering and Business Management departments.

But then, why would she try so hard to bring up her coign of vantage if she wasn't insecure?

The fact that someone could make Jeno smile like that pained her.

"Stop it, Solji," she whispered to herself. If she kept thinking that way, she would surely sink in misery. It wasn't a competition to begin with. Heejin's arrival wouldn't threaten her place in Jeno's life. And why would she even try to fight for it. Did it matter to her?

Yes, she was attached. But did she even like him?

She was cut off from her reverie when someone knocked on the door followed by Jungwoo's muffled voice. "Sis! You have a visitor."

Solji groaned internally. As much as she loved her friends, she needed to be alone. She pushed herself up and opened the door.

"Hi!" Jeno greeted her.

She almost dropped on the floor at the sight in front of her. Her friends would've been a better option than this.

"J-Jeno," she managed to croak out before opening the door wide, inviting him in.

Jeno cautiously entered the room, wading through the scattered clothes on the floor.

"Don't mind the mess. I'm organizing my clothes," Solji explained.

"I'm sorry I came over unannounced," Jeno apologized.

"No! No, it's fine. Do you need anything? Food? Refreshments?"

"No, it's fine. I just came here to talk to you."

"Talk? To me?" Solji pointed at herself dumbly. Jeno sat on her bed and pat the space beside him. It was as if she was a puppet and Jeno was manipulating the strings because she sure was hell ready to obey everything he would ask her to do.

"Yes. Talk to you. I missed you so much," Jeno admitted and then smiled.

"Don't say things like that!" Solji hissed and looked away to hide the blush that painted her cheeks.

"Why not?"

"Because... I might believe it's true."

Confusion was etched on Jeno's handsome face. "What do you mean you might believe it's true? It's the truth! Do you think I would lie to you?" Jeno clasped her hand between his. "I missed you so much. I feel like we haven't talked in decades. I... I know this sounds sappy but I feel weak whenever I don't see you."

Solji was speechless.

"Am I too clingy?" Jeno asked and there was fear in his eyes. Solji reached out to touch Jeno's cheeks.

"No. I like it."

Jeno gave her a big smile and squeezed her hand tighter. How she wished things would stay that way. With Jeno in her room, smiling at her while holding her hand. Only if things weren't so complicated.

What would he think of me if he found out that I got jealous of his childhood friend? Solji thought in fear. Jeno would surely think she was immature and would probably leave her.

She didn't want that.

She wanted to keep him close. Keep him to herself.

"I'm sorry we weren't able to talk that night," Jeno apologized once again. "I was too overjoyed that I forgot why you asked us to meet up."

"It's alright. I completely understand." Lies. You didn't fully understand, Solji told herself. "So, are you ready to talk about it?" Because I'm not.

Jeno nodded.

Fear crawled back to her system as her heart started beating erratically. Perhaps this time, nothing could save her from---

Jeno's phone rang once again.

"Damn it! Every time," he whispered, obviously irritated. He let go of Solji's hand and fished his phone out of his pocket.

A look of confusion was painted on his face as he looked at the unknown number calling him. As far as he knew, he never gave his number to anyone. Could it possibly be...

"Hello? This is Jeno speaking. Who is this?"

"Jeno, it's me... Heejin."

"Heejin!"

Jeno shot up from the bed which startled Solji. The mere mention of her name was enough to make Solji's heart heavy.

"Heejin? Is this really you?"

"Yes! I'm with Mark oppa right now in a cafe near your school. You should join us! I wanna see you."

"Of course! I'll be there!"

The call ended and Jeno was grinning from ear to ear. He faced Solji so she instantly faked a smile.

"You should go meet her!" Solji said.

"I'll bring you with me," Jeno said which surprised her.

"What? Why?"

"What do you mean why? Of course I will introduce you to her!"

It was probably a bad idea but she didn't want to spoil his mood. So with a heavy heart, she nodded.

***

The entire car ride was quiet and Jeno was driving faster than usual. He was so nervous and refused to say a word. Solji didn't have the strength to start a conversation so she contented herself watching the view outside fade into a blur.

Now that the car had stopped, the situation finally sunk in.

They arrived at the said cafe and Solji instantly saw Mark laughing with a girl wearing a yellow dress sitting across him. Heejin's back was facing her so she couldn't her face but she knew she was really beautiful, judging from the looks that she received from the other customers inside.

This was the moment Jeno had been waiting for.

This could be the moment that Solji would probably dread the most.

Solji's hand moved on its own and gripped Jeno's hand lying on his lap. No words came out but there was encouragement in her touch. Jeno beamed at Solji and she gave him a faint smile. They both stepped out of the car and walked to the cafe.

Jeno's strides were big and fast and Solji had a hard time trying to keep up. When he opened the door, the bell chimed. Mark and Heejin turned out and everything seemed to happen in slow motion.

Heejin was so much more gorgeous in person. Her picture didn't do her beauty justice. Her innocent face broke into a smile when her eyes landed on Jeno. She was sure Jeno was smiling as well.

Before Solji knew it, Jeno was hugging Heejin tightly and the latter was smiling widely with her eyes closed. Guilt squeezed Solji's heart as she remembered her jealousy. This girl had been through a lot, battled against death and taken away from her friends.

"I missed you so much," Jeno whispered to Heejin's ear as he caressed her hair.

"I missed you, too."

When Heejin opened her eyes, she saw Solji looking at her. Solji gave her a smile before walking towards Mark and sitting beside him so Jeno and Solji could sit beside each other. Mark was surprised, but didn't say anything.

"Who is she?" Heejin asked Jeno and threw Solji a glance. "Is she your girlfriend?"

Jeno's eyes widened. "Oh, no! She's a close friend," he answered and smiled. Heejin gasped audibly, her hands flying to cover her mouth. Even that movement looked graceful.

All that Solji could do was fake a smile. Her arms were originally resting on the table but when Jeno told Heejin that she was just a close friend, she discreetly hid her hands under the table to hide the engagement ring. She was feeling pathetic and her self-esteem crumbled. She wanted to disappear right at that moment.

"I'm Kim Solji!" Solji introduced herself a little too enthusiastically and extended her right hand. Heejin beamed at her.

"I'm Jeon Heejin!" Heejin replied and reached out to take her hand. The smell of vanilla and strawberries filled Solji's nose. Even her scent was sweet.

"So... where were you all this time?" Jeno asked.

"Starting from the day that we left?"

Jeno nodded. He was so eager to hear the story.

Heejin's family moved to Germany when they left New York and that's where she got treated. To cut the story short, she survived and continued her studies in Germany where she was homeschooled. She rarely use her phone and just recently made a social media account with the purpose of reaching out to her friends.

Jeno was attentive the whole time, his eyes never leaving Heejin. He still couldn't believe that she was sitting there beside him.

When their order arrived, Heejin still wasn't finish with her stories and the three were all listening to her.

Solji didn't miss the way Jeno silently took care of Heejin while she wasn't looking. When he peeled the wrapper of the chocolate cupcake and then removed the nuts, when he put the creamer on her coffee and made sure the lid was properly sealed. He took care of her silently the way he did to Solji.

"Solji?" Heejin called and Solji was interrupted from her train of thoughts.

"Yes?"

"How did you become friends with these two troublemakers?" Heejin asked.

Solji glanced at the two.

"Well, Jeno and I met in a club one night, on a very unique situation. Our parents knew each other and we had dinner. Mark oppa is my senior and we bumped into each other. Then I found out that they were cousins."

She didn't mention the kiss.

She didn't mention the engagement.

He didn't seem to mind.

He was just staring at his friend. Not her.

"I hope these two are not giving you a major headache," Heejin said and laughed. She had a pretty smile that would make your heart feel lighter.

Heejin was really sweet and that only made Solji's conscience to nag her.

"Not really. It's just mostly Mark oppa to be honest."

"Hey! I'm so good to you! We always spend time with each other!" Mark defended himself. This time, Jeno's eyes darted on Solji.

Stop it, Jeno. She wanted to say. Stop looking at me as if you are jealous.

"You're always together?" Jeno asked, but she was looking at Solji.

"I... Not really..."

Solji stepped on Mark's foot and the latter only whimpered before giving Solji a betrayed look.

"That's sweet!" Heejin said then glanced at Jeno. "They look so good together. Don't you think?"

No, they don't! Jeno wanted to say but seeing Heejin's smile made him lie. He didn't want that smile to disappear.

"Y-Yeah..."

This time, Mark's smile dropped while he looked at his cousin who couldn't meet his gaze, then to Solji who seemed on the verge of tears.

Solji felt as if somebody was squeezing her heart, knocking the air out of her lungs. A lump formed on her throat and she couldn't speak, afraid that her voice would shake.

Beside her, Mark held her hand comfortingly under the table. Normally, she would push it away. But she needed the contact right now. She made their hands intertwined as she held on Mark's hand as if hanging for dear life.

Mark felt the need to take Solji away from there so he made a move.

"Jeno, Heejin, do you want to have a look around the city?" Mark asked them. Heejin nodded enthusiastically but Jeno frowned.

"What about you?"

"My girlfriend and I will have a date!" Mark said and winked. He even lifted their intertwined hands from under the table which surprised Jeno and made Heejin squealed. Without another word, he stood up, pulling Solji closer to him and bidding them goodbye.

"What are you doing?" Solji hissed.

"Saving you," Mark answered, his voice filled with seriousness.

"Hey! Wait---" Jeno rose up from his seat but Mark and Solji were already outside the cafe, heading to his car. He clenched his jaw in frustration and he wanted to flip the table but he remembered, Heejin was still there. She was waving at Mark and cheering for him.

That's my fiancé for fuck's sake!

Inside Mark's car, Solji was breathing heavily, trying to control her emotions. Now that they were secluded in Mark's tinted car away from the reason of her upheaval, she wanted to cry so bad.

"I know you're not happy right now," Mark said. "And I know I can't make you feel happy like Jeno can."

"That's not true," Solji said but her voice sounded more like a whisper.

"Let's leave them for now. He just got her back."

Solji looked out the window. "I know that..."

She might be fully aware, but that didn't mean it would hurt any less.

The entire car ride back to her house was quiet. Mark opened the radio and let the music filled the silent car. He would steal a glance at her from time to time. He was lying if he said he didn't like having her beside him. But it didn't feel right either knowing that she was there yet she wasn't happy at all.

When they arrived at her house, Solji thanked him and invited him in but he declined.

Solji filled the tub with lukewarm water and stayed there for almost an hour, thinking about all the stuff that happened earlier. Jeno was like that to her, too.

It wasn't exactly a nice sight seeing someone you value treat others the way they treat you.

Solji was attached because Jeno made her feel important. In a household where she was treated like precious diamond instead of a capable daughter, Jeno made her feel like she could conquer the world while treating her like a queen. He let her be by looking after her silently.

Maybe I was just a replacement, Solji thought bitterly. Maybe he was just waiting for the original to come back.

Oh, the things she would do to rip her stupid heart out just to stop the pain.

She busied herself on the tasks she had on her plate. Mark texted her that he got home safely.

She was waiting for Jeno's message. To update her about the things he did even though it involved Heejin. She would be grateful nonetheless.

But the next morning came, and there was no message from him.

***

Days went on like that and Solji had to fool herself that she was okay. Sure, Jeno was her fiancé but he had a life before they were tied. And the fact that she was using their engagement was unbecoming of her. Months ago, she despised the thought of being engaged but now, she could introduce Jeno as her fiancé in a heartbeat.

Solji tried to be okay. She really did. Especially on days when Jeno had no time for her.

One time, Solji bumped into Jeno. He was in a hurry that he didn't notice Solji and he gave her a half-assed apology. When Solji held his arm to stop him, he turned around and gave her an irritated look only to find out it was Solji.

"Solji!" he exclaimed.

"Hey," she said and faked a smile. "You going somewhere? I made bento for us!" she added and showed Jeno the bag containing the lunch she made.

Jeno bit his bottom lip and gave her an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, I can't today. I have to meet Heejin. You can meet Mark hyung instead. I'm really sorry."

Solji was expecting that but it was still painful. "Oh, right... that's okay."

Jeno apologized one last time before running past her, leaving her alone in the corridor. With a dejected sigh, she searched for Mark and gave him the bento.

On her next attempt, she asked Jeno if she could come over to his house and cook for him.

"It's been awhile since I last cooked something for you. I'm sure you ran out of side dishes and stuck with ramen again."

"There's no need to. Heejin came over yesterday and cooked for me. She even made tons of side dishes, including the ones she learned when she was in Germany."

It took everything in her not to lash out.

Heejin this. Heejin that. Heejin everything. She wouldn't be surprised at this point if Heejin was his reason to breathe.

Despite all that, she pushed her frustrations aside.

One afternoon, Solji didn't bring her car when rain started pouring outside. She was trapped in the parking lot of the campus with no means to battle the rain.

It was ridiculous to think that whenever she encountered challenging situations, she would instantly think of Jeno.

"Hello?"

"Yes? It's raining hard outside. Be careful on your way home."

"Um, about that. I didn't bring my car and umbrella. I can't leave the campus. If you have time, can you fetch me?"

Solji shut her eyes, praying that Jeno would say yes.

"I'm really sorry, Solji. I'm not in the city right now. I went out with Heejin, she said she wanted to see a flower garden and then it started raining. We can't leave right now."

I didn't ask for what she wanted, dammit! Solji wanted to blurt out. Instead, she heaved a deep sigh.

"That's okay."

"I'll contact Mark hyung for you."

Right on cue, Mark appeared with his hair drenched in rain. He must've ran to the parking lot because he had no umbrella.

"No need. He's already here."

With that, Solji ended the call. No goodbyes. Nothing. Jeno should've taken a hint by now.

"Oppa!" Solji called and ran towards Mark.

Mark was surprised at first. "Need a ride?"

"How did you know? You're reading minds now?"

Mark chuckled. "How can I not know when you've been stuck with me since Heejin arrived? Jeno's with her right now, am I right?"

Solji nodded. Mark sighed.

"When will you stop?"

"Stop what?"

"Trying to get his attention."

It would've been best if she lied to save her pride but her mouth wouldn't let her speak. She felt embarrassed and humiliated. Mark must have thought that she was pathetic.

She was utterly surprised when Mark pulled her into a hug. She didn't resist. She let him envelope her with his warmth and as she closed her eyes, pretending it was Jeno hugging her.

***

A new movie was released and Solji bought two tickets without thinking.

"He couldn't possibly be with her all the damn time. Maybe this time he's free," Solji muttered to herself. But who was she kidding? The moment she told Jeno about the movie, he declined the offer.

"I'm sorry, Solji. I already bought a ticket of another movie and Heejin and I will watch it this weekend."

She was disappointed but not surprised. At this moment, she already knew the answer but she still pushed it. She heaved a shaky breath before answering.

"That's alright. I can just ask Mark oppa."

"I'm really sorry, Solji. I promise I'll make it up to you."

Make it up to me when Heejin's gone? Save it. I can handle myself, thank you very much.

Solji didn't answer and ended the call. She dialed Mark's number and he picked up a few seconds later.

"Hey! Wanna watch a movie with me this weekend?"

"Are you asking me out on a date?"

"Sure. Whatever."

"Jeno bailed again, am I right?"

Solji sighed and that was enough for Mark to know.

"Alright. I'll be there."

Mark didn't mind being a second choice to Solji. He was there to catch her whenever Jeno failed her. He wanted to confront his cousin for neglecting his own fiancé but he guessed that could wait. Solji needed him more.

And despite being the second choice, he never failed her. He was there when she needed him, always available for her.

As he stared at the girl sitting beside him staring blankly at the screen, he couldn't help but feel sympathy. Solji's eyes were full of sadness. Mark knew Solji wished it was Jeno sitting beside her right now.

"How I wish I'm enough for you," Mark spoke out loud which made Solji turn. He realized what he had just done. "Forget that I said that."

Solji shook her head. "No. I owe you a lot. I'm not worthy of your time but you're still here. You're always there when I needed you."

"And so was Jeno."

Solji smiled bitterly. "Yes. That's why I got so attached to him. I can finally know the feeling of relying to somebody and not being independent all the time. But after how many times he bailed, I don't think I can ever trust him again."

"Can I hold your hand?" Mark asked.

Solji contemplated for awhile before nodding. Mark caged her hand with his. His hands were warm and rough and it felt comfortable. But it felt different. It didn't provide the same security that Jeno did.

"You know you can always choose me," Mark said playfully and Solji flicked his head. She might think he was joking, but he wasn't.

Solji knew that no matter how grateful she was towards Mark, she still wished it was Jeno and not anyone else.

The movie began but Solji's mind was somewhere else. She couldn't focus at all. Even the audiences laugh or grunt in frustration, she was just staring.

Tears cascaded down her cheeks and she used her other hand to muffle her sobs. She could only cry freely because it's dark. Mark heard her but didn't say anything. All he could do was to replace Jeno's presence for a little while. He might never be enough, but at least he was there.

Mark drove Solji home. She felt a lot better after a good cry. Crying was a good outlet to release overwhelming emotions.

"Thank you so much, oppa," Solji said and gave Mark a sincere smile. It made his heart race but pretended it didn't affect him. He had to remind himself that even if an opportunity presented itself, nothing would change the fact that she was engaged.

"I'm the best. I know."

Solji rolled her eyes. She caught Mark off-guard when she hugged him before stepping out of the car to let him know how grateful she was because he's there. His mind was in chaos and he couldn't think straight.

Please, don't make me fall deeper than I already did.

When Solji opened the door, she was met by her family all gathered in the living room as if they were having a meeting. All their faces looked grim. Her heart started beating faster out of fear and anxiety.

"What's happening?"

Jungwoo was hunched on the couch. Doyoung was talking to someone on the phone. Suho and Irene both looked serious.

Nobody answered which made Solji's temper rise. They were always like that to her. If not silence, they gave her vague answers that didn't help at all.

"Can you please enlighten me what's happening right now? You can't leave me out like you always do."

Nobody moved except for Irene.

"There's a mole inside the company."

"A mole?"

"It's best if you do not know, princess. It will only stress you out," Suho said.

"No, I wanna hear it," Solji said. There was determination in her face which surprised her father but not her mother. Irene always knew. With a dejected sigh, Suho nodded at Irene to continue.

"Like I said, there's a mole inside the company. One of your employees leaked the details about the new collection of perfume that's going to be released this month."

"Oh..."

It was beyond bad. The situation was irreversible and the effects would harm the company. It took them months to complete the collection and polish them to perfection before it would be released and it only took one traitor to ruin everything. All the efforts went down the drain.

After that quiet dinner, Solji shut herself to her room, unable to get the problem off her mind. Her eyes landed on the scented candle sitting on her bedside tabe. The one given by Jeno.

It was unfair.

That after all the many times Jeno bailed her out, he was the only one she could think of at moments like this.

"This is the last time I will ever need you," Solji vowed to herself and dialed Jeno's number. "If you do not answer me, I will not bother you anymore."

She was afraid that he wouldn't answer. She was expecting it. But there was a part of her that was still hoping that he would answer this time. That he would come to her rescue like he always did.

She hated the fact that she started acting like a damsel in distress.

He didn't answer on the first one.

Second.

Third.

Still nothing.

She had enough.

The tears that wet her face suddenly stopped. She turned off her emotions like a switch.

Three unanswered calls were enough to remind her where she stood in his life. She didn't need to dial him a hundred times. It was literally written as an etiquette.

She needed him the most.

He wasn't there.

That was the last chance.

"So be it."

Solji begrudgingly wiped her face dry before lying down in her bed. She closed her eyes, her mind still plagued of Jeno but she forced him out. He didn't belong there. He didn't belong to any part of her. She wouldn't allow it anymore.

The next day, Solji was hunched on one of the library chairs reviewing for a quiz when Jeno sat across her. His scent filled her nose. It used to bring her comfort, but now it made her blood boil. But instead of letting her anger ruled over her, she acted as if he didn't affect her at all.

"Solji," Jeno called. Solji looked up.

"Yes?"

"You called me last night, right? Is everything okay?"

Solji nodded. "Of course, yes. Everything is alright."

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to answer your call. I was in the arcade with---"

"Heejin," Solji cut him off. "I know."

Jeno knew the brewing storm inside Solji. He just didn't know how strong it had become during the times she reached out to him but he wasn't there.

He realized just how many times he apologized but didn't make up for it. Not even once.

"Just... just tell me if you need me, okay?"

A sickly sweet smile spread across Solji's lips. "I will. Don't worry."

Her smile was sweet but her voice was laced with venom. Her eyes were full of anger and hatred. She was reminded of this harsh world that everyone was temporary and she should never expect someone to be there all the time on her dire situations.

She was already whole before Jeno came. And she would be okay again without him.

I will not need you anymore. Never again, Jeno.