This was gonna be a Patton chapter- BUT- I decided that I wanna write Roman again.... so deal with it

TW- counting calories,swears, again, really bad thinking, puking, passing out

Romans eyes narrowed as they held their pen, they hadn't heard from their soulmates for awhile, and was thinking they had forgotten them. Their eyes moved to their hand, seeing the shakiness of it. They sighed, putting the pen down and looking around the room. It was before dinner, and Remus was helping cook today as it was his turn. Roman hummed a small tune softly, not caring where it was from just at the moment. They sighed after a little, knowing that Remus would kill them if they didn't eat dinner today. The breakfast bar had around 330 calories, then the apple had maybe 100... plus, they were having spaghetti, which, a decent serving would have around 700, which was way over how much Roman could have. Maybe, if they had a small plate, then it would be okay. Just maybe though. Roman nodded softly, deciding a small plate would be okay. Roman smiled softly, they were happy, they were taking care of themselves for once.

"Roman! Get your ass- ow! Dinners ready!" Remus yelled, the ow probably being from being smacked for swearing. Roman sighed, standing slowly, their vision cut out for a few seconds and they took a deep breath, Roman shakily went down the stairs, waving to their mother and Remus. Roman sat at their place, taking a small portion of the spaghetti and sauce. Remus looked at them worried.

"Had a big lunch, don't worry" Roman said softly. Remus nodded. The twos mother then sat down, placing the cups of water down for each of them. "Thanks mom" She nodded with a smile and a no problem.

Roman woke up with a groan, their stomach gargled slightly. They ignored it, rolling out of bed to take a shower and change.

After the shower, and the act of almost passing out in the shower, Roman was ready. They met Remus downstairs, seeing that the twos mother had made breakfast.

Shit.

"Hey ro! You hungry?" Lily asked. Roman shook their head.

"Not really, my stomach hurts a little" Roman pushed it off, grabbing a halo tangerine, as it only had 37 calories last they knew. Remus quickly joined Roman at the door after brushing the sugary maple syrup from his teeth. Roman smiled softly, peeling the orange while they walked to the bus stop. Their eyes widened as they realized that Virgil would see they only had a orange for breakfast, they would have to eat a lunch. Unless.... Roman nodded to their plan, they just wouldn't sit with the group for lunch, and if they asked where they were, which they doubted, they could just say they sat with Remus in the cafè. Roman nodded softly, waving to Virgil.

"Pronouns?" Roman asked.

"He/Him, what's up?" Roman shrugged, eating a slice of the orange. "All you eating for breakfast?" Roman nodded.

"I'll eat lunch" Roman smiled softly. Virgil nodded.

"So, what do you think of our group?" Virgil asked. Roman hummed.

"Logan seems okay, he doesn't talk much, but you don't either so that's chill. Pattons a fluffball, who could hate him? Janus is cool too, his scars make him look dangerous, which is funny because he's short" Roman giggled. Virgil nodded with a smile.

"What do you think of me?" Roman asked softly. Virgil hummed.

"What'd you say? You mumbled" Virgil asked. Roman shook their head.

"It doesn't matter, it wasn't important" Roman said with a smile. Virgil nodded slowly.

"If your sure" Roman nodded.

"I'm sure"

After three classes, it was lunch, Roman was fazing in and out of awareness, not really paying attention to what was actually happening.

"Hey, you good kiddo?" Patton asked. Roman nodded, wondering when they got in the floor.

"Yeah, just not feeling great, my stomach hurts and I'm dizzy" Patton frowned, helping Roman off the floor.

"You wanna go to the nurse kiddo?" Roman shook their head.

"I'm sure I'll be fine" Roman said with a soft smile. Pattons worry never left his face, but he did nod.

"You wanna sit with the group again kiddo?" Roman shrugged.

"Sure" Patton nodded, leading the way to the bench the group inhabited. So much for the plan. Roman sighed as they sat down, rubbing their eyes when their eyes sight went dark for a few seconds. Janus noticed Romans disheveled look.

"You good Ro?" Roman nodded softly.

"Just not feeling too hot" Roman mumbled. Janus nodded, patting Roman on the back softly. Roman flinched away from the touch, sighing and taking a sip of water. Water was good, it didn't have calories, they could survive with under 1000 calories as long as they could have water. They would be fine. Roman rested their head in the table, tears stinging their eyes at the pain from not eating anything much this morning. Logan sat down, and noticed that Roman still had no lunch. He grabbed some of his own lunch, half of his ham and cheese sandwich. Janus nodded as Logan told him to give it to Roman. Janus tapped Romans shoulder, and Roman looked up quickly.

"Here, Logan can see how shakey you are, you should eat" Janus mumbled. Roman shook his head.

"I'm not hungry, I'm alright" Roman said softly. Logan shook his head. Signing to Janus.

"Lo said you've got to eat something, please?" Janus said softly. Roman sighed, nodding and taking the sandwich half. It was a ham and cheese, so it probably had around 200, maybe 180 calories. Roman couldn't remember exactly. They took a small bite, smiling softly at the taste. It was good, really, but, they couldn't finish it, every bite seemed to make them feel more and more sick.

It was good but the bread just stuck in their throat.

It was good but the different tastes and textures were overwhelming.

It was good but Roman wanted to cry just from eating it.

It was good, but they couldn't eat it.

They could feel it sink in their stomach, they felt even more sick then before, they felt like throwing up. Roman put it down, shaking their head softly.

"Hey, what's wrong Ro?" Virgil asked, seeing the tears in Romans eyes.

"I can't eat it" they whimpered. Janus tilted his head.

"Why? What's wrong?" Janus asked softly.

"I just can't, I'm sorry" Roman mumbled, grabbing their bag and walking off quickly, forcing their tears to stop. They quickly left to a bathroom, sitting by the toilet, holding their hair tightly trying not to sob. However, the held sobs made them even more sick, and they threw up. They watched as they flushed the sandwich, well, the remnants of it down the toilet. Roman stood shaking, gargling their mouth with water and leaving the bathroom, hoping it didn't look like they were crying. Roman skipped last period that day, they hid away in a stairwell closet that had been unlocked luckily. They stayed their until the dismissal bell rang. And then they waited even longer until they heard the second bell, showing the late bus was here. They stood, leaving the closet, and walking onto the bus that would take them close enough to their house, they could jog home, get some extra working out in to burn the fat from the sandwich.

"Roman!" They heard Remus yell as they got to the house, the room spun, the floor suddenly seemed to be a lot closer then they remembered. The floor was hard, very hard, was it concrete? It had to be. Romans vision failed then once again, they blinked, trying to see again, but they saw nothing, a awful ringing filled their ears. Was this what dying was? Roman didn't know, all they knew was they just wanted to sleep, and that they were really, really hungry.