Alex POV

We went deeper in the forest until we reached a strange temple. This place had some light, finally.

"Thank god, the dark was really freaking me out", Gabby stated.

" Same here", Crona replied. I looked ahead, seeing a sword driven into the ground.
"Is that it? Excalibur?", I asked. Everyone stopped and looked at it in awe.

" Amazing. So that's the legendary sword huh", Ulric said.
"It seems neat but could there be any trap nearby?", Izaya pointed out. Everyone looked around frantically, but I couldn't spot any trap.

" I don't see any trap", I stated.
"Sweet!! Let's get the sword while we still can", Gabby urged.

" Already got it!!" We all looked to see Magane waving the legendary sword in the air. All of us looked at her shocked.
"What? Someone had to do something", she urged. Suddenly the sword glows brightly in her hands.

" Greetings young ones. Do you wish to behold the great and magnificent power of the holy sword?", it asked. I bowed before it.

"Oh holy sword, please give us the honor of working beside you", I begged. Magane suddenly dropped the sword and it fell onto the ground.

Ouch!! Who is the fool who dropped me?", he asked. All eyes glared at Magane.
" What the hell were you thinking?", Ryuga asked.

"Sorry, he was glowing so bright I couldn't see", she explained.
" Forgive her sir, she meant no harm. It was an accident", Gabby said.
"Not to worry, I must show you my true form any way" , the holy sword stated. The sword then transformed.

We all stared at him.
"Oh my god. So incredibly.......lame", I said.

(This is what Excalibur really looked like)

I facepalmed. I should've known this would be the Excalibur from Soul Eater. Boy am I dumb.

" Wow, you certainly are, different, then what we expected", Crona said.

"I think you mean completely weird looking", Ulric corrected.
" Does anyone want to hear about my time in the twelfth century?", Excalibur asked.

"I don't see wh-"
"Fool!! No interrupting while I speak", Izaya gave a face of confusion. I knelt down to Excalibur's level.

" Actually sir, I be-"
"Fool!! Tell me why you are here", he ordered.

" Well our boss wants you t-"
"Fool!! Why is the sky blue?" Ryuga gritted his teeth.
"I don't c-"
"What is everyone's favorite number that is between 12 and 1?", Excalibur asked.

" My favorite is 7", I chimed.
"I like number 4", Gabby replied.
Suddenly he pointed his cane in my face.

" Fool!! Why pick just one number when all are to be cared for", he stated.
Magane yawned.

"You're a lot more boring then I thought you would be", she complained. Excalibur pointed the cane in her face.
" Fool, respect your elders", he snapped.

"Jeez, you're that old of a sword", Ulric mocked. The cane was now in his face.
" Fool!! Dogs are supposed to be obedient to their masters", Excalibur stated. Everyone laughed at that comment. Ulric growled.

"Yeah yeah, very funny. Now get that damn cane out of my face", he barked.
" Not until you've all heard my story of the twelfth century", Excalibur said.

"Fine. Make it quick", Ryuga ordered. Excalibur cleared his throat.
" My mornings start off early in the morning with a cup of coffee, my afternoons are spent at a cafe drinking herbal tea, in the evening i-"

"Drink booze, seems right for a person as random as you", Izaya pointed out. Excalibur whacked Izaya with the cane.

" Ow! What the hell?", he asked annoyed.
"Fool!! Don't interrupt me while I speak", Excalibur snapped. Izaya sighed and kept his mouth shut.

There was a long silent pause.
" Aren't you gonna finish?", Crona asked.

"...Finish what exactly?", Excalibur asked. Everyone groaned.
" Your story, finish the damn story", Magane urged. If she was getting mad, then you know how annoying Excalibur can be.

"Ah yes, my story. Where did I leave off at?", he asked.
" Something about the evening", Ryuga said.

"Ah yes, my evenings are always started with me wearing my pink pajamas", he said"Then I go to sleep and dream of little white fluffy sheep jumping over a large wooden fence."

"What that's have to do with your battles of the twelfth century?", Crona asked.

"Nothing. I never said my battles, I just said a story of the twelfth century", Excalibur corrected. Ulric sighed.

"This is getting ridiculous", he stated.

"Well if your boss wishes to have me on your force then he, along with you 7, must follow the 1000 requirements", Excalibur stated.

"1000...REQUIREMENTS?!", Ryuga yelled.

"No need to yell sir, but yes, that is my deal", he stated.

Crona, Ulric, Gabby, Izaya, Ryuga, and I gathered in a group.

"What do you guys think?", I asked. 

"Not happening. That freak is crazy", Ulric stated.

"I agree. I don't know how to handle someone that annoying", Crona said.

"Frankly, that guy pisses me off", Izaya said flatly.

"So we agree not to take him", Ryuga said.

"What do we tell Roy?", I asked. Ryuga shrugged.

"We'll come up with something", he assured. Everyone looked at Excalibur.
"Are you ready my friends?", he asked as he took back his sword form.

"Together we shall be invincible", he stated,"All you have to do is do exactly as I say."

Magane, who seemed to be trying to contain her anger, screamed with rage.\

"That's it!!", she yelled. She grabbed the sword and stabbed back right where it was before. Everyone looked at her shocked.

"I regret ever pulling out that bastard. I thought I was gonna have to rip my own hair out", she stated.

"Wait!! Come back!! I'll lower the requirements to 800, just please do the 5 hour story time", Excalibur begged. We all ignored him and started to leave the cave.

"Too bad that guy was a total bust", I said.
"I think we'll live just fine without that piece of junk", Izaya assured. 

Author POV

Envy and Monokuma approached the cave carefully. 

"You think they got the sword?", Envy asked.

"Most likely, keep your guard up", Monokuma ordered. Envy suddenly heard a noise from behind and turned his head to look. 

Still nothing. Envy shrugged and the 2 of them went inside.

"Yes, a buffet, all for myself", the creature said to himself.