Ash POV

I blinked a few times, sure that I hadn't heard it right. There was no possible way my dad had just said what I thought he'd said. "Did you just say-?" I asked slowly, my voice trailing off as he nodded solemnly with eyes shutted closed, covering his eyes. From unexpected to reality, the whole world had just stop moving for a moment and my life changed it's direction to down at the core of the earth.

"Yes, Ash." Dad shot me an exasperated glance, running a hand  through his brownish short hair. "I mean, this had to have crossed your  mind at some point." He opened his eyes only to be presented by a gaped expression from me.

Me dying? Why in the hell would that cross my mind willingly?  The only time I had actually thought of that was when I'd gotten started  on my list, but now, I just thought of it as a fun activity. You know,  something to do to pass the monotony of my life now especially now that I  didn't have to go to school which I don't even call it my bucket list  anymore!

My mind went whirl with my mouth moving on it's own, I spluttered, "I  don't- why are you talking about me dying?" I spread out my arms,  feeling betrayed by him. And just when I thought we'd come to some sort  of agreement. "You're my dad; you're not supposed to say things like  that!" I pointed a finger at him in self-disbelief.

Sighing, dad began pacing up and down in front of me with his arms folded  across his broad chest. Great. Time for yet another lecture, right on  schedule. "Hear me out," he said, looking serious. "Like you said, I'm  your father. Meaning that I have to think about the morbid stuff. I  don't like it any more than you do, but such is life." He paused for  effect, his steely dark eyes targeting at my face. "Dr. Brock says there's a  chance of you- dying during surgery or post op." I sucked in a shiver  breath as dad continued talking. Of course I knew that, but I definitely  didn't want to think about it. Death was such a scary subject for me.  "You know this. You were there when he said it."

"I was there when you bullied him into saying it," I retorted.

Dr. Brock was such a diplomat that he would never consider even  mentioning the word 'death' in my presence, but dad had forced his hand  on my last check-up. I had cringed through it all. Dad was a born bully.

Disinterested, dad flapped his hand at my direction. "Whatever. My  point is you know that operations like that are touch and go." He sighed  as I stared at him. Something must have been written on my face, maybe  the last shred of respect I had for him shrivelling up, he continued,  "Don't look at me like that, boy! I don't like it more than you do, but  facts are facts. We have to prepare for eventualities. That's why people  prepare their wills and get their affairs into order before they go in  for surgery." He shrugged at me as I stood still silently, my ears ringing  with his self-righteous speech. He actually thought he was giving me  advice? Why not tell me to just give up hope period? "I thought that  would surely be one of the things on your bucket list," he faced his head down in the shadows and bobbing for a second of his eyelids again. "but I guess not."

Breathing through my nose in an effort to calm myself, I stared dad down. "No. Writing my will wasn't on my list."

Dad chose to ignore the sardonic tone in my voice. "What do you think  your precious girlfriend will do if you died on the operating table?"  He tilted his head a little, giving me a questioning look. "It'll crush her to  bits! You're her first boyfriend, no wait, maybe her last, I'm sure?"

I nodded brusquely. "Yeah." So what if I was Sere's first boyfriend? I  really had no idea what he was trying to get at. This had nothing to do  with anything.

"Put yourself in her shoes. She has a boyfriend- her first boyfriend-  and he has an aneurysm. He's due to go into surgery any day now. What  happens if he doesn't wake up? How would you feel? What would you do?" He asked thrice questioned which I didn't even have the muster to answer them for him.

I kneaded my temples, hating what I was hearing, especially since I  knew that when I was alone, I would replay everything dad was saying  over and over. "Damn, dad. Don't. Just- stop."

Pity in his eyes, dad shook his head. "I can't. You have to hear  this out from me. It may seem like I'm attacking you, but I'm just looking at the  bigger picture here. If anything happened to you during surgery, it will  scar Miss Yvonne for life. You know that." He gave me a knowing look.  "Do you want that on your conscious? Do you really want to see Miss Yvonne cry after your death? Of course it may break her but it's only way to save her from this tragic of yours." he paused for a moment, taking his time to find the words to spit out at me. "So would you?"

I hung my head facing down at the ground, hiding away all my  expressive emotions on my face. "No," I mumbled as my own selfless words  escaped from my mouth. I was seeing a brand new side of dad, and it was  freaking me out. I knew that all this just had to be a ploy to get me  to dump Sere and stop showing him up, but the feeling behind it seemed  so sincere. He was actually acting like he cared about someone else  besides himself.

Cracking his knuckles, dad continued. "Then there's only one thing  for you to do." With all the pain suffering beneath my heart. I looked up at him receiving his next words, but the next  part made my eyes go wide open. "Break up with her. Be as cold-hearted  as possible. That way, if anything goes wrong, it won't hurt her as much  because you already hurting her deeply." He resumed pacing, getting  into his diabolical plan as I gaped at him. He had some nerve... "If,  after the operation, you decide that you still want to be with her, all  you have to do is tell her you were protecting her."

"I can't do that," I protested, my voice hurting my throat and tears welling my eyes, holding back the negative emotions inside of me. "It's heartless!" I deeply croaked.

"Sometimes you have to be heartless," dad intoned in grim tones.  "It's called being a man. A leader. It's a dirty job, but it must be  done."

I stared at him with wide teary eyes, feeling more tired than ever. Honestly, dealing with  dad just sapped all of my energy. "I can't- I won't do it," I said  adamantly, beginning to sound like a skipping CD. "It's not right, dad."

"You know it's right." He nodded his words. "You just don't want to admit it." Dad shrugged.  "But you'll think it over and over and then you'll realise that it's  the only way to go."

As he said that, I turned around with my back facing at him and started walking out of the room, getting myself to assemble all my feelings for Sere even for me to decide on what to do. "Nope," I said over my shoulder as I stepped my both feet out of the cleaned kitchen leaving my dad all alone by himself.

Behind me, dad spoke once more, his words speculate my head. "Time is running out Ash!"

I shuffled into my bedroom and sat down on my tidy bed, and all of a sudden,  depressing thoughts started trickling into my head. And unfortunately, I  didn't have anything better to do than to listen to them.

Dad was, as much as I hated to admit it, right about one thing. If  something happened to me during surgery and I didn't make it, Sere would  be devastated. It was hard for me to think about, because nobody wants  to think about their own impending death. We all want to live forever.  But if anything did happen to me, it would hurt Sere desperately, I knew  that much. Did I really want that burden on my shoulders?

I shook my head, folding my arms behind my head as I layed flat on my bed, staring unseeingly up at the ceiling.

No. I loved Sere; I didn't want to think about her hurting over  something to do with me. Her mindset was already so fragile, what with  dealing with Alain and feeling guilty over the death of her niece. I  didn't want to add to that.

Sighing, I faced the bare facts that my dad had been trying to make  me face during his impassioned lecture- if I dumped Sere as callously as  possible, she would get over it eventually. It would hurt her  considerably less if I dumped her now and something did happen to me  later on, right? Damn, I hated myself for trying to justify what I was  thinking, but I didn't have a choice. People got dumped everyday and got  over it. At least that way, there would be closure for her.

But could I go through with it? Did I even want to go through with  it? All I had to go with was what dad had said, and he wasn't my go-to  person for enlightenment on the human psyche. What if he was just saying  all that for his own selfish reasons? I wouldn't put it past him,  trying to get Sere out of my life because he doesn't think she's good  enough. I don't mean not good enough for me, because we all know that  dad thinks I'm the lowest of the low, but not good enough to be dealing a Ketchum. To a snob like dad, it was all in the name. And Sere didn't  have a 'reputable' background or any of the goods that makes dad happy.  Like money. That's why he didn't care when I dated Miette because  although he didn't like her, not that he likes any of my friends, he  approved of the fact that she was from a rich family. He didn't care  that she was shallow, spoilt and catty. Actually, neither did I, because  I was just like that too. But now... Now I saw things differently and I  liked to think I was a better person for it. And I mostly had Sere to  thank for that. So why would I take dad's advice and throw her under after all the help she's been to me? Especially after all the s*** I've already put her through? Sere didn't deserve it.

I sighed lightly, kneading my head to curb the pounding which was likely due to thinking too much.

But what if something did happen to me? What if, God forbid, I really  did die? If I took dad's advice and dumped her as cold-heartedly as  possible, then died, she would hate me for what I did to her. Who would  I want that on their conscious? Definitely not me.

Does that mean you think something is going to happen to you?

I tried to shut that thought out of my head but it just wouldn't  give. Of course I thought something was gonna happen to me.

I stayed up  till late, just reading people's aneurysm stories. Not many people  survived. If this had been months ago, when I just found out about the  aneurysm, I wouldn't have even cared. Sere hadn't really been in my life  then and I didn't really care about anyone's feelings like I did right  now. I didn't want to be selfish and use Sere to comfort me now as I  dealt with the aneurysm and not be there for her if I didn't make it...

I hated not knowing what to do. Clutching my pillow to my chest touching the cold cushion by support, I fell into a troubled sleep as my eyes drifted down into a slumber, lying restessly on my bed and letting the night take over it's time.

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Next Day

You know that feeling you get when you've pumped yourself up to do  something you don't want to do? You talk yourself into it, try to  justify your actions and totally ignore that niggling feeling that's  screaming 'stop it!' in your head. Then something comes along that  completely rocks your world because it means you don't have to go  through with your original plan and you start to regret even thinking  about it?

Well, that's how I started to feel when the doctor called me to make a  'very important' appointment a couple of days later. You know,  pessimistic yet hopeful. As I sat in Dr. Brock's office, waiting for him  to lift his head from the piles of reports on his desk, my stomach was  tied up in knots. What did he want to talk to me about? Was it good or  bad? When was he going to say something, dammit?

I was this close to hyperventilating when he finally looked up from the paperwork on his desk, a huge smile on his face.

"Fantastic news, Ash," he started positive, just as I was starting to think he  was going to go the opposite way and tell me to start writing up my  will. "We have discerned that the aneurysm is now large enough to  operate on. You will go into surgery a week from today."

Maybe it was shock from hearing that finally, after months of  waiting, I would have a chance to live headache free. Or maybe it was  the confusion of trying to figure out what the hell 'discerned' meant.  Hey, I had just popped 2 Tylenol 3's- I was feeling a little doped up!  Anyway, I just stared blankly at Dr. Brock for approximately a minute,  my eyes hardly focusing on him and my mouth open, before mumbling  "What?"

I am so glad dad wasn't anywhere near me.

Luckily for me, patience (or maybe love) is Dr. Brock's middle name. Or it should be,  especially after the way he explained everything from the surgery prep  to what I would expect after the operation. When I left his office, I  was flying high and all the negative thoughts I'd been having for the  past couple of days evaporated.

I had planned to meet Sere at Lumiose park after school and go watch a  movie, but the instant I saw her coming towards me I knew something was defiantly wrong. And the fact that I could see that through my drug induced haze  meant that I had it bad.

"Hey. What's wrong?" I asked immediately, placing my hands gently on her  shoulders and looking down into her face. My heart hammered as she  sniffled, wiping her eyes with the heel of her hand. All the  excitement I had felt upon hearing my good news from Dr. Brock's  evaporated again as I stared down into my girlfriend's sorrow face.