Scar's alive.

Scar's alive.

Scar's alive.

Scar's alive.

It's all that runs through my mind from the moment I see him, standing in the rain just outside the gate. As I let him and his new friends in. As I organise hospitalities for them. And as I run from the room where he's just sat there. Alive. Not dead, as I thought for half a year.

But it isn't just that I can't handle.

It's WHY he didn't come back.

Either he couldn't get back, hurt and lost and I abandoned him, or he was fine. He chose not to return. He abandoned me.

And I don't know which would be worse.

'Cub?'

Of course Scar remembers the favourite hiding place I ran to. And of course he found me huddled there, tears down my face.

'Why?' I whisper.

'Why... What?'

'Why couldn't you come back?'

Silence.

'I... was hurt...' Memories flood back. 'After I ran off... I think I passed out and... I'm sorry.'

'I should've found you...' I mutter, wiping the tears away. 'I should've looked for you and tried to find you... I shouldn't have let you go off on your own I just...'

'Cub no... no this isn't your fault. I... wanted a break anyway...' He stops suddenly. I don't speak. Scar wanted a break? Why didn't he tell me? Why didn't he trust me to accept it? Why did that mean he ran away and didn't come back for half a year? Why didn't he even write to me? I can't reply. So both the worst options are right. He chose to leave and I didn't find him.  'I'm so sorry, Cub... I didn't mean it that way...'

'No, no, it's ok.' I insist. 'It's fine... go and talk to your new friends. I'm... fine here.' I know I'm not as jealous as I sound, but still regret it. Scar doesn't move.

'Cub... I'm so sorry for not coming back. If I could've... I'd have done anything...'

'I want to be alone.' 

'Cub...'

'Alone.' I repeat, then soften my tone to add. 'Please.'

'A... alright.'

I hear his footsteps walking away, the door closing, and then silence.

He screams.

I break into a run.

Every part of my mind turns to panic. He's not here. He should be here. Why isn't he here? 

Another scream. Louder. 

'WHERE IS IT?'

'I DON'T KNOW! PLEASE! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!'

Scar.

'TELL ME!'

But I can't find him. Running down corridors. Streets. I don't know where I am. Or when I am. All I know is he's in trouble...

'I DON'T KNOW! I DIDN'T STEAL IT I-' His yells cut off into another scream. I howl his name back. 

'SCAR WHERE ARE YOU?!'

'I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! I DIDN'T- I NEVER WANTED TO BE PART OF THIS!'

'Then we have no use in keeping you alive.'

Another scream. Louder. 

Cutting to silence

'SCAR!' 

I wake up.

My heart races, breathing fast as though I'm still running to find him...

It was a dream. 

It was just a dream. 

Another stupid dream about... 

I stare at the drawing across the room. The last one of us before we were separated by... 

'I wanted a break anyway...'

I can't think about what he told me. I can't. So I just slip out of bed, grabbing a gown before leaving my room.

'What happened?'

I jump, but it's just Grian, clearly just woken up by my yelling. 

'Nothing... nothing... it was just a dream.' I insist, turning away to continue towards somewhere quieter.

'And where are you going?'

'To think. I can't...' I hear his screams again. 'I'm not going to get back to sleep for a while.'

'Well... would you like me to join you?' 

'No... you should go back to sleep. I'm sorry for waking you up.'

'I'm a bad sleeper. And I'm not that tired.'

I pause, but let him follow down the stairs, back into the living room. Collapsing into the nearest seat, I fight the memories rising up again. Scar... what did he have to face these last 6 months? How badly hurt was he? 

'Why did you run off earlier? Were you ok?'

'Still overwhelmed.' I decide to tell the easiest part of the truth. 'It'd been half a year... I thought he was dead for sure. And then he turned up... and he was alive. And safe. And everything was ok...'

'How long have you known each other?'

'A while... He came to the door looking for employment... Dad let him stay as a servant. I was pretty young at the time and I'd never met any tieflings outside of the family. We immediately became friends... Didn't start stealing until... I was the last one left.' I don't elaborate. I don't need to for the tears to start welling up again. 'You?'

'Ran away from my family to become a rogue... Met a group of friends but... That didn't last forever.' I see one hand rise to hold his feather necklace... 'Travelled back to Dryadalis where some friends helped me. Just started stealing for myself after that until... Me and Scar got arrested and... We ended up here.'

We both fall silent. The rain's stopped outside, the night clear across the hills. Again, memories of Scar take over my mind. Missions. Failures. The final day...

'RUN! I'LL MEET YOU AT THE GATES!'

'SCAR WHAT ARE YOU DOING? SCAR WHERE ARE YOU...'

'Cub?'

I blink. Grian's frowning at me.

'What... Uhh... Yes?'

'Are you ok?' He asks. Probably repeats.

But before I can answer there's a meow, and a familiar cat wanders into the room. I smile, picking Jellie up.

'Scar's cat.' I explain, stroking her, thankful for the distraction. Grian moves closer. 'Left behind after he... left.' 

'I had 2 cats. Pearl and Maui... they're probably still at our... my... old base.'

'Jellie's been around for ages. She just walked into the mansion one day when Scar was still just a servant... he adopted her secretly. She sometimes joined us on missions, but not a lot. Queen Jellie preferred staying here.'

Grian chuckles before letting out a surprised noise as Jellie pads over, demanding affection he provides. I smile. 

I haven't smiled this much since Scar left.

'She likes you... now you're stuck here... the Convex decrees.'

'YOU'RE THE CONVEX?! Sorry, Jellie... but YOU'RE THE CONVEX?!'

'Me and Scar, yeah... now you definitely can't leave...' I can't take back my slip-up, the reveal that me and Scar were the renown thief duo, just rolling with it. 'It payed well in stolen goods. And we enjoyed it. Until... me and Scar separated.'

Silence again. Jellie's curled up on Grian's lap, purring at his continued stroking. 

'Cub?'

My focus returns to him as he speaks.

'Yeah?'

'Are you going to join us?' 

'What?'

'The campaign. Are you going to join us in finding the dragon egg... or stay here. I think Pearl will reward us when it's done if you need an incentive. And it'll get us some money.'

'Reward us? Like... protection? For Scar... and me?'

'Probably. I mean, the NHO got protection from Cleo... you get to hang out with Scar again. You said you missed it. And we need all the help we can get.'

'I'm in.'