What Ifs and Possibilities

Katrina's teeth sunk into her bottom lip peering past Keir trying to decide which option would be best for her life; the car or the house. The heat of his gaze warmed her, lifting the temperature of her body and igniting a burning desire in her chest.

Her warring thoughts of worries wrecked her mind with a cloud of confusion. What ifs and possibilities raced through the corridors of her brain so she took a deep breath, tried to shake the nerves out of her hands, and let her instinct make the choice she was unable to verbalize. The gravel crunched under her footsteps as she advanced past Keir. Her eyes were trained on her destination. The handle called for her hand and when she opened the door all the anxiety melted from her body like wax. She knew she made the right choice.

Cardamom and vanilla washed over her as she walked over the threshold. Her eyes took in her surroundings. He had found a new love and knew there had to be changes. She searched like a detective, glossing over the white brick fireplace, taupe-painted walls, the monstera in full bloom in the corner of the living room, and the architecture book on the coffee table that lay underneath a smaller book. A book whose red cover that called to her. A chill quaked down her spine as she lifted it in her hands and flipped through the pages.

Keir's footsteps stopped as she settled on the page she regularly visited, which reminded her what she was seeking in all relationships.

Her voice came back to her as she read aloud, "But love is really more of an interactive process. It's about what we do, not just what we feel..."

"It's a verb, not a noun." Keir finished.

Her sight immediately went to him, "You kept my book."

"I did." Keir nodded, with his hands shoved in his pockets.

She glanced around the room in amazement then gave him a look of confusion, "Everything is still the same."

"It is." He shrugged as a man drained of all his energy, "I couldn't...in my mind this was still our house and...I couldn't change anything."

"So, that's why—" She placed the book back where she retrieved it from. "...you decided to sell it."

He sighed, "I don't want to argue anymore."

"I'm not.." She shook her head. "That's not what I'm trying to do. I'm just trying to make sense of everything. Understand it."

"Understand what?"

"Love is an action." She started as she chipped away at the distance between them. "And for the last two years, you've spent that time with another woman. Days, months, and years have passed with thousands of miles between us but..." She toyed with the hem of his shirt as her sight linked with his. "And I went on dates and I tried to move on but I couldn't. I couldn't even will myself to take off the necklace and when I saw you with her...I felt replaceable."

"You're—" He started but she gently placed her fingertips to his lips, silencing him.

"I need you to listen to my truth, please." She admitted lifting her fingers from his mouth.

"Okay." He replied claiming her hand before he returned back to her side. "Tell me your truth.

She nodded and continued. "I don't understand you. I don't understand this." She gestured between them. "I'm not used to this. That's why it made sense that we remained friends because friends love me, my mom loved me but men...their love always came with conditions and you...even through the midst of my mess loved me unconditionally."

"Love." He corrected her.

Her face twisted with tears, "I don't understand why. What's so great about me?"

"Everything." He spoke fiercely. "The flaws and messy parts that make you human. Your weaknesses don't prevent you from having the courage to keep going and accept help." He took hold of her face to alleviate the shifting of her focus. "Everything about you is great for me. There is nothing else to understand. And I could prove it to you if you'd stop pushing me away. Because to me, you are irreplaceable. Just...please, let me prove it."

Her tears trailed the outline of his thumbs, as she nodded. "I will."

"You will what?"

She took in a shaky breath. "Stop pushing you away, no matter that mess or drama. It's you and me."

"You and me." He nodded, with a contented smile lifting his lips.

Katrina's mouth shifted into the same curve as his until his mouth sought hers. His supple flesh chased away the doubts that insisted on lingering in the depth of her mind and called the courage she had in their love that had been dormant for years to the forefront of her consciousness.

And she knew he was a different breed. A man of his word. A man she could and would love for a lifetime. It was a risk worth making and as she relinquished herself from the hold of that the past kept her trapped in, her guard deactivated.






One more part to go


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