Early in the morning—and not my usual morning na wala sa ospital—bungad na bungad agad sa 'kin si Tyrone na kalalabas lang ng bathroom.

My usual morning with Ty wasn't like this. Mostly, I would call him just to ruin his morning at marinig siyang sumisigaw. That was the definition of what the best morning should be like for me.

Never kong na-imagine na magigising ako at makikita ko siyang bagong ligo at towel lang ang suot. Last time kasing nasa condo ko siya, hindi niya binabalak maligo roon. Naghilamos lang siya then he went home bago ako pumunta sa boutique.

I was surrounded by hot bods of different male models around the world. Sa tagal kong nagbibihis ng mga lalaki, hindi ko rin mabilang kung ilang beses ko silang nakitang nakahubad. And since Ty is on a different level, hindi ko alam kung maa-amaze ba 'ko o matu-turn on—and I don't want to trigger my horny mode while I looked like a breathing eggplant. He just went out of the bathroom, walked beside the bed, and took his eyeglasses and phone while water was still dripping from his damp hair.

"Hindi ka nangalay sa puwesto mo?" tanong niya habang tutok sa phone.

"Nah," sagot ko habang nakatitig sa mukha niya. I like him better with his glasses on. Mas gusto kong nakikita yung ayos niya dati kasi . . . I dunno. That innocent Tyrone Chen before was way better than the grumpy Tyrone Chen now.

"Forest will take her breakfast here. Magbibihis lang ako." Then he put his phone back on the side table again and went to his walk-in closet.

I hated Tyrone for the past ten years of my life. Tipong kahit wala pa siyang ginagawa, nakaka-bad trip na siya. For what reason? Wala naman, gusto ko lang mainis sa kanya. Hindi kasi natatapos ang araw ko nang hindi kami nabubuwisit sa isa't isa. At kapag hindi kami nabuwisit sa isa't isa, gagawa at gagawa talaga kami ng paraan para lang mag-away without any valid and rational reason.

May mga araw na hindi kami nag-aaway. 'Yon din ang mga araw na parang hindi kompleto ang buhay ko kaya dinadaan ko na lang sa inom. I dunno. Ang satisfying kasi niyang asarin.

Not that I was interested to check his phone, but I was so curious about his messages. Gusto ko lang malaman kung ilan ba ang babae niya at baka lumampas sa tatlo. Sa sobrang busy niya, duda akong kaya niyang mag-handle ng higit pa sa dalawa. Automatic na ang count ko as his top chick of the decade.

Pasimple kong kinuha ang phone niya at binuksan. Tumaas lang ang kilay ko sa locked screen. It was a photo of Eiffel Tower. That kind of photo na template sa mga default wallpaper ng phone's theme. Ang boring naman niya. Wala bang picture ng mga kabit niya rito? Pati gallery, walang ibang laman. At wala siyang lock sa phone. Hindi ba siya takot manakawan? O baka may iba pa siyang phone.

Nag-check ako ng apps niya. May Telegram kaso puro naman Chinese ang kausap niya. Wala siyang Facebook! Wala ring Twitter! May Messenger app pero puro naman ignored, ni hindi man lang niya sini-seen! Yung sa iMessage niya, aside sa 'kin, kay Forest, puro na Chinese ang iba. Tao ba siya? At may IG siya, at last!

Pagsilip ko, puro naman damit ng Lion Fashion. Tapos 54 lang ang naka-post. Para naman siyang online seller nito, what the hell? May iba pa ba siyang phone?

Feeling ko, nasa laptop niya lahat e.

Tinantanan ko na yung phone niya kasi walang kuwenta talaga. Hindi ba nabo-bore sa kanya yung mga kabit niya? Ako, nabo-bore ako sa buhay niya.

Paglabas niya ng closet, naka-loose cream tee na naman siya saka cotton shorts. He combed his hair for a slick look but some strands rested on his forehead. Mas nababawasan ang intimidating and annoying aura niya kapag nakapambahay siya. Although, he looked so fine if he was on his suits and ties. Nevertheless, I still want to see him angry and hear him shout.

"Come on." Inalalayan niya 'kong bumangon kahit na sa totoo lang, kaya ko naman nang bumangon kahit pa masakit ang katawan ko. Dapat nga, hindi na niya 'ko alalayan kasi baka masanay ang katawan ko, lalo akong hindi makakilos kapag competition na.

"Oatmeal pa rin ba ang breakfast ko?" tanong ko habang tinataboy ang kamay niyang umaalalay sa 'kin.

"As if you have a choice. Hindi pa okay ang lower jaw mo."

"Gusto ko ng doughnut. Sana tinuluyan na lang ako nina Jomari. Pinagastos pa tayo sa abala nila."

"Cin."

Pagtingin ko sa kanya, masama na naman ang titig sa 'kin.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever."

Kahit gusto niya 'kong alalayan, hindi na 'ko nagpaalalay. Wala namang second floor ang bahay niya kaya dere-deretso lang naman kami hanggang kusina.

"Can I borrow your laptop, Ty?" I asked while sitting comfortably on the breakfast nook.

"For what?"

"I need to check all my backlogs from Lion. May inventory kasi akong hindi pa recorded sa data since hindi pa dumarating before I resigned. Ido-double check ko lang kung hinarang ng management."

Sinulyapan ko lang siya and he didn't look like he was suspecting about my intention. He was busy preparing some huge bowls and boxes of whole-grain cereals and Quaker Oats.

"Alright, stay here." Umalis na rin siya sa may kitchen island at dinuro ako. "Huwag kang pupunta ng garahe, ikakadena talaga kita sa kuwarto."

Napahawak agad ako sa pisngi para pigilang tumawa. Ang lakas talaga ng pang-amoy niya kapag alam niyang may balak akong tumakas haha!

Pero wala naman. Sa kanya pa rin naman ako kukuha ng fabric kaya hindi ko rin siya puwedeng takasan.

Isang liko lang naman sa kuwarto niya ang kusina at halatang binilisan niya ang pagkuha kasi hindi pa man ako nag-iinit sa upuan ko, nakabalik na siya dala ang laptop niya.

"Hindi nga kasi ako tatakas," depensa ko agad habang nilalabanan ang nagdududa niyang tingin. "May plano ako pero hindi pa ngayon."

His trust issues are worst, as in. Although, tama naman siyang may balak nga akong umalis, but not now. Not tomorrow. But next week, maybe—probably.

"You're my daytime nightmare, Cin. You know that?" he said and placed his laptop above the table, in front of me.

"Don't make me laugh, Ty. We both know I love being your worst nightmare." I pulled his laptop near me and forced a smile nang hindi ako masasaktan.

"I hate you." He rolled his eyes and went back to preparing our breakfast.

Curious talaga ako sa mga personal na gamit niya kaya kung papipiliin ako kung tatakas dito o titingnan ang laman ng phone o laptop niya, malamang na ipagpapalit ko ang chance para makaalis para lang mangialam ng gamit.

Pagbukas ko ng laptop, ito na. May password na.

"Ty, password?"

"C-D-C underscore Chen Jiao-Long. J-I-A-O dash L-O-N-G Capitalize each word."

Napangiwi agad ako. "Ang haba! Ito ba yung Chinese name mo? Ang weird, ha." I typed his password and it logged in. I was expecting a nude body of a lady for starter, but sad to say, it was a shot of Sydney Opera House in the morning from afar. Bakit ba ang hilig niya sa default wallpaper? Tamad ba siyang mag-customize?

"Naka-log in ba yung employee number mo sa Lion? Puwede bang i-log out?"

"Logged out na 'yon."

"May in-order pala ako sa Walter's na twenty yards ng gabardine. Nakalimutan kong ipa-cancel kay Ameiry. Sana main branch na ang nag-cancel."

"Tatawag naman sila sa accounting office if—"

Sabay kaming natigilan nang mag-vibrate nang malakas ang phone niya sa tuktok ng kitchen island. Dinampot niya agad 'yon saka sinagot ang tawag.

"Resty, where are you?" He glanced at me and I just shrugged. The cousin's here. "Yeah. Sana nagpaderetso ka na rito. Maglakad ka . . . Sana nga nagpahatid ka na. No. Iiwan ko? No!"

Mukhang ginigipit na naman siya ni Forest, a.

"Kaya nga . . . sana nagpahatid ka na nga lang. Parehas kayo ni Cinnamon, ang sakit n'yo sa ulo."

Wow, nadamay pa talaga ako?

"Ang aga-aga, nakakainit ka ng ulo. Sige na, hintayin mo 'ko sa gate."

Pagbaba niya ng phone, tiningnan niya agad ako nang masama.

"May dala raw si Forest, iniwan siya sa gate ng service niya."

"Baka galing sa club, ngayon lang uuwi."

He rolled his eyes, so I guess I'm right. "Kukunin ko lang yung phone mo. Susunduin ko si Resty sa gate."

Tyrone and his overthinking issues. Pagbalik niya sa kitchen, binuksan niya ang FaceTime app ko and he called me. Ipinatong niya sa stand ang phone ko sa may kitchen island kung saan sigurado siyang mapapanood niya ang puwesto ko kapag umalis siya. It was far from me so may time talaga akong dapat ilaan para abutin 'yon. And that was enough para bumalik siya sa bahay niya at hulihin ako.

"Ang KJ mo," sabi ko na lang habang sinusundan siya ng tingin.

"Try to escape and I'll lock you up inside the closet."

He already got his keys, and from the inside, I peeked at the garage door na unti-unting bumubukas.

"Ingat si Resty sa 'yo," bored kong sinabi at binalikan ang laptop . . . kunwari.

Pasulyap-sulyap ako sa kanya na papunta sa garaheng katapat din ng bintana ng kusina. He was driving one of his maroon sedan and I saw him glaring at me inside his car na bukas ang bintana.

I rolled my eyes and went back to his laptop.

Well, kung papipiliin ako kung tatakas o laman ng laptop niya, dito muna ako sa laptop. Next week pa 'ko tatakas.

Sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam kung pressure ba o kaba kasi bawal ang gagawin ko o thrill kasi first time kong kakalkal ng gamit ni Ty. Basta, kinakabahan ako. Kapag may nakita siguro ako ritong hindi ko gusto, may pag-aawayan na naman kami mamaya.

Though, inaasahan ko nang babae ang makikita ko, but malay ko ba, mamaya may anak na pala siya sa labas.

I opened his Edge browser and I really wanted to see something shocking like Porn sites or some shits na masarap ipang-asar sa kanya. But unlucky me, all I saw was boring histories. Li-Shang website, Lion website, La Mari website, Red Carpets. His Google history was full of manufacturers and textiles. He was browsing too many dresses and suits. I saw a YouTube history about a movie, and yeah, Devil Wears Prada. He was watching Project Runways episodes, and he got a document file stating the fakes and reals behind the scenes of that fucking show.

Wala ba siyang magandang history na hindi related sa damit and fashion? Is he for real?

Nag-open ako ng Facebook to check my account since wala naman siyang FB at gamit niya pang-FaceTime ang phone ko. But lo and behold! After I opened the site, an active Facebook account was fucking logged in!

Ah! The great Tyrone Chen has a fucking Facebook account!

Sabi na, nasa laptop niya talaga ang lahat e!

And yeah, he has a Facebook account, and it wasn't named Tyrone Chen. Chinese character ang site, and I couldn't understand a single fucking Chinese character of this fucking site!

Kinailangan ko pang i-on ang automatic translate ng FB para lang ma-translate sa English ang mga nakikita ko.

His name didn't change. Chinese character pa rin kaya pala hindi ko mahanap. But what surprised me was his display photo. Hindi ko alam kung ngingiti ako o ano. It was our backdrop photo last Lion Fashion event. I wore an elegant crimson gown with a high-hip slit, a sheer cape, with matching crimson stiletto. He wore one of my crimson suits with a lion head brooch. Matching outfit kami, as always. He was holding my waist and we looked like a power couple. The whole photo screamed royalty and superiority. Something na idi-DP ko rin kung hindi lang kami galit sa isa't isa.

I checked his recent post and hindi siya ganoon ka-active sa Facebook. But most of it was inspiring quotes like 'If light is in your heart, you will find your way home,' . . . 'If you try to change it, you will ruin it. Try to hold it, and you will lose it,' . . . 'Amidst the worldy comings and goings, observe how endings become beginnings,' . . . 'When you wish for others as you wish for yourself and when you protect others as you would protect yourself, that's when you can say it's true love,' . . . 'To love a thing means wanting it to live.'

Fan ba siya ni Confucius? Nag-check ako ng album and he has a lot of albums. Some were named in Chinese na hindi auto-translated. But the thumbnails showed his family and their business. Inuna ko na lang ang profile pictures and it shocked me a lot.

Puro kasi picture naming dalawa, solo picture ko, solo picture niya, then trophy na ang iba. Hindi naman sobrang dami but all of it were the highlights of our decade. Halos lahat ng nakita ko, shots from events na mukha kaming respectable personalities. Wala siyang shot na mukha siyang simple or even casual attire. Lahat puro naka-suit. Those photos of me naman, puro mga naka-dress, and had the same captions: - The lioness. Well, dati 'yon. Pride of Lion Fashion. But not anymore.

Alam ko naman ang setup namin ni Ty behind these photos and everything was only for public validation. Ni hindi ko nga makita sa mga mukha namin na masaya kaming kasama ang isa't isa.

While scanning some of his album, nakita ko rin yung wallpaper niya sa laptop. And damn, it wasn't a default wallpaper. I zoomed in the photo and I saw someone na malapit sa edge at nakasandal sa iron fences. It was me na busy sa phone ko.

The shot was in Sydney, Australia. That was the year na nakuha ko ang NIFA Award ko. Pero hindi naman ako ang focus sa wallpaper niya kundi yung Opera House so, I don't see anything special about it.

Then there was this hidden album na naka-Only Me lang. I was expecting a scandal, but nope. It was full of my photos. Not the stalker kind of shots.

Nandito ang picture namin noong engagement night na medyo blur at mababa pa ang quality since that was a decade ago pa. Some were my photos noong trainee days ko. He even had shots ng mga gabing haggard ako at nakasuot pa ng trainee's badge. The next were the receipts of my body pain—literal na nagpapalagay ako ng Salonpas sa likod kasi bugbog ako sa pagbubuhat ng fabrics. Those sleepless night during big events' presentation. Behind-the-scene shots as a major designer sa iba't ibang fashion shows na nangangatal ako habang pinanonood ko ang mga model na rumampa sa catwalk suot ang damit na design ko. Shot during my stressful nights with him before the main event at pinagagalitan niya 'ko. Puro kuha na nagyoyosi ako sa may balcony kasi may asthma siya so I had to calm myself nang hindi siya nadadamay sa bisyo ko.

These photos were my worst moments, and he had it shot by shot.

Hindi ko alam kung mawiwirduhan ba 'ko at masasabi kong stalker siya, but I couldn't say that kasi sa mga oras ng shots, he was there—either he was watching me cry, helping me prepare, or scolding me because pressure was eating me alive.

He wasn't a stalker. He was just there . . . with me. During my best and worst times. And until now.

"Ang KJ-KJ, nakakaloka ka talaga!"

Napalingon ako sa kaliwa kaya mabilis kong isinara ang Facebook tab. Naiwan na lang ang tab ng Lion.

"The next time you attempt to go here, make sure na hindi ka galing sa kung saan. Amoy-pawis ka na, nakakadiri ka. Don't hug me!"

"Suplado!"

Pagtapak nila sa kitchen, diring-diri si Tyrone habang kibit nang bikit sa balikat niya. Hindi niya maitulak si Forest na nakasuot pa ng black leather jacket at red mini skirt—or not a mini skirt. It was a short red dress. Hindi na gaanong pantay ang makeup niya, so I guess, galing nga ng club.

Bumaba ang tingin ko sa dala ni Tyrone. Mukhang naisipan pang mamili ni Forest bago pumunta rito.

"Cinn!" tili agad niya at nilapitan ako. "Damn it, at last, I get a chance to visit you! Grabe, ang higpit sa ospital, ha? Lagi akong hinaharang. Bawal daw ang media. Mukha ba 'kong media?"

Umupo siya sa kaliwang tabi ko at marahan akong niyakap at hinalikan sa kaliwang pisngi. At . . . amoy-alak siya. At ang asim pa niya. Kaya pala kung makapandiri si Tyrone sa kanya, akala ko naiirita lang dahil sa kaartehan.

"Grabe, girl, sabi nila, okay ka naman na raw. Mukha kang napuruhan a? Gusto mo, ipatumba na natin sa loob yung putang inang Jomari na 'yon?"

Napahawak agad ako sa pisngi ko kasi napapatawa na naman ako. "Resty, 'wag mo 'kong patawin, kagabi pa kami nag-aaway ni Tyrone sa sugat kong dugo nang dugo."

"Ay, sorry!" Sinilip pa niya ang leeg kong nababalutan ng gasa. "Si Ty yung nag-aasikaso sa 'yo?" Nilingon niya agad yung pinsan niyang tinutuloy ang paggawa ng almusal ko. "Ty, pinaliliguan mo si Cin?"

"Gusto mo ba, ikaw ang gumawa?"

"'Suplado mo talaga! Suot na niya yung pinagawa mong undies?"

"Wala naman siyang magagawa."

"Ikaw yung nagsuot?"

"Isang tanong pa, ikukulong na kita sa trunk ng kotse ko."

"Ang KJ! 'Kainis!"

She was making faces when she looked at me again. "Sungit talaga. Anyway, how are you? Grabe talaga, dapat death penalty ang ibigay kay Jomari e. Mas malala na 'to this time, ha?"

"Handled naman na ng mga kapatid ko yung kaso."

"But knowing the de Chavez brothers, duda akong papayag silang hanggang kulong lang si Jomari."

"I know." Sumaglit ako ng lapit kay Forest saka bumulong. "Ty doesn't want me to join La Mari."

"Yeah, for sure," she answered while nodding.

"Can you find me a good white fabric for overcoats? Pashmina or Cashmere."

Lumayo agad siya sa 'kin habang pinandidilatan ako ng mata. "Are you out of your mind, Cinn?" mahina niyang singhal sa 'kin habang tinuturo si Tyrone na nakaharap sa ref. "Ty's not gonna like it!"

"I still want to join."

"Hindi mo pa kaya! Bugbog ka pa nga, o! Look at you!" She pointed my whole body.

"Sasali pa rin ako. I already have a finished sketches. I just need fabrics."

"Kailangan mong gumawa ng prototype before the main event, Cinn. You don't know if it will work for the fabric type na makukuha ko if ever. And besides, you can't do that here. Di papayag si Ty na matagtag ka. Praning 'yan, alam mo naman."

"Gagawa ako ng prototype sa main event mismo."

She keenly looked at me and her observant eyes were searching for something in mine.

"You're scaring me, Cinnamon. You can't win in that competition without a practice."

"I'm Cinnamon de Chavez, I don't need to practice."

I stole a glance at Tyrone who was washing some fruits in the sink.

"I can't work unless I have my fabrics. Wala akong magagawa rito kung tutunganga lang ako."

"Cinn, hindi ako gumagamit ng fabrics for overcoats. Lingerie ang ginagawa ko. If ever I would ask for Cashmere and Pashmina, magdududa agad sila. Kung lace or cotton wool 'to, kahit mamaya, may material ka na."

"Then look for someone who can buy me a Cashmere or a Pashmina. O kahit sample lang ng fabric. I can pay for it."

She heaved a deep sigh and looked at me in frustration. "I can see why Tyrone take you here with him. If he left you somewhere else, you'll probably die because of overwork. Susubukan kong maghanap. It will take days, sana mahintay mo. Hindi ko siya puwedeng kunin nang sabay-sabay, maghihinala talaga sila."

"I know. Take your time. May ten days pa 'ko to prepare."

"Kinakabahan ako rito, Cinn. Ang hilig mo talaga sa gulo."

I'm not giving this up. I'll win that competition kahit na anong mangyari.

♥♥♥