I'm so sorry

That's the song playing from my playlist as I am writing this note. I sing it quietly under my breath, even though Makayla isn't here.

I glance towards my bed, and see the rope sitting in a bundle on my pillow.
I finish writing the letter, and sign it with my name.

The song changes, another Imagine Dragons song, called Battle Cry.
I shed a tear as I pick up the knife up off of my dresser. I bring the sharp pointed edge across my skin, and watch as the blood bubbles around the wound.

My alarm goes off, telling me that Makayla would be back soon. I walk over to the bed and grab the rope. I stand on the stool to tie it to the ceiling. Once the rope is on the ceiling, I close the door, and turn my phone off.

I put my head through the hole, and knocked over the stool. I feel the life draining from my body as Makayla walks into the room.

The world goes black as I hear Makayla ask what I wanted for dinner.

I wake up in a cold sweat, and look around me. I'm in my bed at my mom's castle, in the Shadow Realm. I check the laptop sitting next to me on a table to see the date. August 18th. My birthday. The day I go back to school. The day I get to see Makayla again. The day I dreaded the most. I don't like my school, the only good part is Makayla, my only friend there.

I walk out of the portal I set up, and into my dorm room. I look around at the walls I had painted black. I sit on my bed, and notice a book on my pillow. I pick it up, and see that it was from my aunt. I opened it, to see it was completely empty, except for one page which had writing on it. It was an invitation to her castle.
I assumed she needed something, so I started walking. I passed by the guards without question, and into the room my aunt wanted me in.

She was holding a few pieces of paper as she motioned for me to sit down. I sit across from her, and she opens her mouth to say something, but then closes it, as if she couldn't figure how to word it.

Finally, she says something. "Eliana, I was looking through the medical records of the students at your school, and when I got to yours, I noticed you had gotten a refill on a medicine both your mom and I thought you no longer needed. Is everything alright?" She was talking about the antidepressant I had taken as a kid.  I didn't want to lie to her because she could put me under some truth-telling spell, but I also didn't want to tell her the truth because even though my mom and her aren't on the best terms, they still talk to each other about me.

"Yeah," I decided to not completely lie, but not tell the whole truth, "everything is alright, I just felt that I needed to take it again to prevent those thoughts from returning.." She looked at me strangely, as if she didn't believe me, but soon looked away.
"Alright.. I just wanted to make sure you were okay," she replied, as she handed me a cup of tea. She must have known I was lying because she added this. "You know you don't have to lie to me, right? I won't tell your mom. Tell me the truth, please, Eliana." She knows I don't like it when anyone calls me 'Eliana', so this must have been really important to her.

I didn't want to reply, so I just pulled my sleeves over my hands. She looked at me disapprovingly, and held her hand out. I reluctantly let her pull the sleeve up, and look at the deep cuts on my arm. I looked away in shame, not wanting to meet my aunt's eyes. Some of the cuts were more recent than others, but I still felt pain in all of them. "Eli..." I blinked away the tears from the pain of her tracing over the scars.

She pulls the sleeve back down, and slowly lets go of my arm. I feel tears roll down my face, and turn my head to the ground, not meeting my aunt's eyes. "Eli.. I may not like talking to your mom, but you're my niece. You matter to me, and I want you to be okay. I don't want you to be hurting yourself like this.." I glance upwards, and see my aunt's eyes are red from tears. I try not to move my head, as I really didn't want to face her.

I walk back into my room, passing by the kitchen where Makayla was cooking.

I walked into my room, and saw it looked like the dream I had had last night. The ropes on the pillow, the knife on the dresser. I shut the door, and put the rope in the closet. I take the knife into my hands, and slowly slice against my arm, wincing slightly at the cold metal. I hear Makayla yell that lunch is ready. I quickly clean the blood with magic and walk into the kitchen.

I walk into the kitchen, and sit down, muttering a 'hello' to Makayla. She had made spaghetti for dinner. Makayla does all of the cooking, and I had taken care of the laundry. It was the deal we had made. Once I finished my food, I wash my plate and mutter a 'thank you' to Makayla. I walked into my room again, and found everything as I had left it. I take the knife back into my hands, and choose an old scar higher on my arm to cut over.

To be continued...