Well this weeks been pretty CRUDDY. Okay before I talk about the cruddyness of the week I have to write a whole paragraph about Sarah. Its because I forgot to print out a get well soon card and bla.

So here goes. Sarah is my neighbor and has been since I was in kindergarten. She is almost a year younger then me but we're still really great friends. We have had many great memories together. I remember when we first met she and her older sister Ally were playing out in front of their house when my family were going to church. I was sad/angry to see them because I thought that they stole the house from my old neighbors. Eleanor and her brother Sam were my old neighbors. I thought they were the best neighbors ever. Eleanor was a year older then me and Sam was my age. I was devastated when they moved. I was so angry at Sarah and Ally. But when I got to know them I realized that maybe Eleanor and Sam moved for the best. Sarah, Ally and I did so many cool things together. One year when we were little, their parents took us all to Santa land. When her dad had a motorbike we would play on it. When their family came to port Macquarie with us, TWICE! When Sarah did the spring cycle with us. We've had so much fun together. Singing and dancing crazily on the bus, tricking people into thinking we were sisters and way more.

Okay Sarah was that enough?

Anyway this chapter is not going to be like a recount of the cruddy events in my week. I'm gonna kinda just put all my stupid feelings onto the page, well here goes...

I stuff up everything. I try to do things right but all I do is stuff things up. I think its because of my weird shyness problem. I'm not shy to people I dont know at all or my real good friends. But to other people I am friends with or who I know I find it so hard to talk to them.

For example on Thursday sport was rained out so we had to go to a classroom and watch a movie. Tiana asked the teacher if she could go to the computer room where Max, Zane and Kirk were. She asked me to come but I didnt want to as I really didn't like the game they were going to play. I told Tiana I was fine to stay and that she should go. I went over to sit with the other year 8 girls but I could just not join in. I felt lonely and unwanted. I mean I would not have told T to stay cause that would have been selfish. She wanted to have fun so it's no business of mine to stop her.
That sorta thing happens a lot with me. I feel so awkward when I'm not with people who are my real good friends. Also I am very wary of what other people think of me. I may not let it show but I am. I embarrass myself so much. But when I'm with friends I feel fine to embarrass myself.
I'm such a strange person!

Okay the secret that I was talking about in previous chapters, most of you have asked or guessed. Right? Cause if you don't know this whole next paragraph or so will make no sense to you.

I finally talked to my parents! Well I wouldn't call it talked, I sorta left them a note. I put it on their bed just before I went to bed to "read", but while I was "reading" I "fell asleep". This was because I am a major chicken and was scared what they would say.
Then in the morning my mum didn't say anything to me about it. I was freaking out that maybe they didn't get the note. But my fears were washed away when my mum told me their answer. I nearly jumped through the roof, but I didn't want to show mum how excited I was so I replied "cool thanks!" The only down side that she had 2 conditions. But Bof!

Except my terrible troubles started when I got to school. I told T what my parents said and she said I had to tell Max straight away. But I was nervous and a bit of a woss. I didn't know what to say or how to say it. When I got a message from him saying "you could have just said no" I nearly burst into tears. But no, I am strong. I will get through this. Its my fault that everything is stuffed up, I was a chicken and waited a whole MONTH! I'm such an idiot!

I also feel so bad for T. She is such a strong person. If I was in her shoes all kinda hell would brake loose. I'm wondering if I should just stop so I dont hurt her anymore. But I just can't. I mean when I tried I COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY FAILED!!! But im just so sorry T. I really am.

Oh I thought I should add a little note in here: Zane thinks of the um how should I describe it... weirdest and wrongest things! Oh also a little hint, just be yourself!

A/N
Hi guys,
Thanks for so many reads, I really appreciated it.
I would like to dedicate this chapter to my friend @phia8209 as she is helping me a little with all my 'issues'.
Also I am wondering if you guys can help me with a name for the second book. Elizas year 9. So if you have any ideas feel free to comment them or even pm me.
Happy readin ;)
Em