December 3, 2008 8:00 am
Santa Barbra, California: Earth
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▫️Soren

I wake up in a hospital room, white walls and white bedsheets surround me. There is a small tv in the corner playing some random news channel I don't recognize. I am lying on one of the weird recliner beds with an IV strapped to my arm. The little heart rate machine softly beeps, reminding me that I am alive still... alive and well. My head aches of pain, I can't quite remember all the details, just bits and pieces. But I know I saw Azun. Azun is here, Azun is well, Azun is alive! I must find him. I try to sit up, cords and sensors resist me.

"Woah there!" Vestry pushes me back down. "Take it easy, you just got out of surgery!"

"Vestry?" I gasp. "Where I am?"

"The hospital," He explains. "You're lucky they go you here quickly. They called me down from work last night. I have been keeping watch over you ever since they rolled you in." I could tell he indeed had. His brown hair was a mess, it looked like he just rolled out of bed and rushed over here when he got the call, he was even still in his PJs.

"Vestry?" I say softly, my voice cracks a tiny bit. He hands me a bottle of water for me to drink.

"Yeah?" He smiles softly as I take a small sip of the cold liquid.

"Thanks." I sigh. I sink back down into my bed as he takes the bottle back and puts it on the stand. "I just thought I went to heaven. If there even is such a thing."

"What makes you say that?" Vestry handed me some crackers to snack on.

"I saw Azun." I nibbled into the cracker. "He spoke to me, touched me."

"Soren--"

"I know what your going to say," I interrupt.

"He is dead." Vestry grabs my hand in his. "You know that. He isn't ever coming back."

"But what if-"

"Soren. I loved Azun just as much as you do, but when someone dies, they don't come back. Azun committed suicide years ago. It's long time you accept that and move on."

"But I was almost certain I saw him." I argue. "He touched me... He told me to hold on and that everything would be alright."

"It was just your mind playing tricks on you." Vestry assured me. "Besides, I was watching you during the whole operation. No one was there besides the doctors and nurses."

"Vestry-"

"Soren please get some rest. I was scared for you when I got the phone call that you were in a crash and heading into surgery. You almost gave me a heart attack."

"I'm sorry."

"Your car is destroyed," Vestry says. "By the way."

"Figured." I sigh. I slide back into the covers as I let go of his warm hand . "Guess I won't be driving anything anytime soon."

"I can take you in my truck," Vestry offerers. "and you can ride the bus to and from school."

"I guess that would be nice. It has been a long time since I rode a bus."

"I bet it will be enjoyable, being with all the other kids--"

"Have you meet me? I hate people."

Vestry chuckles, "I'm glad you're ok."

"I am too." I close my eyes and will myself to sleep. Dreaming of what death might of been like if Azun hadn't told me to stay alive.

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January 8, 2008 4:30 PM
Santa Barbra, California: Earth
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I just can't take it anymore. Its different for me. My chest aches because my heart is so broken no doctor can put it back together. Every moment without her is like getting my heart removed with a butter knife. The pain is unbearable and lasts forever. It's the type of headache you feel all the way to your bones.

"Life goes on Soren." Vestry told me every time I brought this up. "She wasn't the one anyways. There will be lots of ones in the future."

But he doesn't know how different of a feeling this is for me. My heart was broken... I can't just tape it back together and pretend like nothing is wrong. I wish I could just go out and get drunk like every other guy on Malison did when they lost a love. I wish I could push back the feelings of pain that come when I think about her. But I can not. I just can't stand it anymore, I can not carry this, and I can not bear these feelings anymore. I pick up a pen and open the cap. I can see the blue ink on the tip, I stare at it for a moment before I just throw the pen at my year long calendar. It landed on January 12th.

That is the day I will die.

Four days from now.

Then I can join her. Forever. I can be with her, Azun, my parents. I can be with my friends I have lost overtime, and I can meet knew ones in the afterlife... if such a thing exists.

I went to school the next day. I had to make sure nobody thought something was wrong with me. If someone suspected anything they would tell the principal and word would get to Vestry and I can't do that to him. I want it to be private, with just me knowing. I had picked out the location, date and time. Now it was time to do the dirty work so Vestry wouldn't have to once I am gone. I open my locker to grab my books out, I had a ton from this stupid school. I still have four days to take them all back slowly. This way Vestry won't have to clean my stuff, he won't have to see me gone. I would just barely be a though in anyone's mind. I grabbed some math books and English novels and slammed my locker shut.
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December 12, 2008 2:15 PM
Santa Barbra, California: Earth
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Day 4 of 4.

I carry the last of my books against my chest as I make my way through the halls, I couldn't let anyone see me cry. Death was a scary though, and the idea of just being gone and not knowing where you are going scared me too. Could I actually go through with this? Can I just leave and do that? I bury my face in the books and continued walking. Suddenly, some idiot ran into me from around the corner, knocking me and the books to the ground. They slide across the floor in all directions.

"I am SO sorry." The boy who slammed into me says.

"It's fine." I grumble. "I'm use to it."

"Let me help you." The boy got to the ground and picks up my books, helping me make a neat pile.

I studied him as he did so. He had fair olive skin and blond hair almost like mine but a little darker, like it was made of gold. His eyes were the color of fire sticks, a mixture of browns, yellows, and a hint of red. His body was tall too, making it hard for him to kneel and help me. The boy wore jeans and a white shirt with a button up gray shirt. He didn't complain as he helped me, in fact he smiled as he performed the service.

"Wow you have a lot a books," The boy says. "I bet your super smart, having all these books, you must be a genius."

"Something like that," I mumble.

"Seriously, if I had this many books." The boy finished staking my papers. "I wouldn't know what to do with it all. Do you really read all of these?"

"Yeah," I lie.

"That's amazing! Do you bring them back with you too? That must be insane, but you love it right?" His eyes seemed to be glowing with excitement as he talked to me. "Reading adventures, I don't enjoy reading as much as I do writing, but still, to read this much in one day, amazing."

"Yeah."

"Let me help you carry these out to your bus," The boy offers. 

"No I'm fine."

"I insist. It's the least I can do."

So Mr. High & Mighty helped me put the books on the bus. I sit in the front seat, so he just sets them there. He continued to ramble on and on about me reading and how cool it was to him. He would not shut up or stop being nice to me. It was annoying.

"Enjoy your reading." He says as he walked off the stairs of the bus.

"Thanks," I whisper. I study him through the window as he slowly walks off.

"You know, you don't talk much." The boy turns to look up at me through the window.

"Yeah." I reach up to start to close the window so he could really leave me alone.

"Wait!" The boy yells. "I didn't get your name."

"Soren."

"Hi Soren, pleasure to meet you. My name is Aron." The boy smiles at me.

I closed the window and watched him through the glass, he watched me over his shoulder as he left. Why was he kind to me? I did not deserve it, the other boys just run into me, knocking me to the ground with my stuff, then leave. Why did he stop to help? Was he sick or something? Either way, a good degree of something was wrong with Aron.

Maybe I'll give it another go. This Aron seems like a sign. One more day couldn't possibly hurt. Could it? Besides, Vestry told me he was making my favorite meal tonight for dinner, Fettuccine Alfredo.

The next day I carry back the homework I had received from the previous hours. I walk down the hallway, heading to the bus to take me home to drop off my stuff. From there, I will head to the bridge... to where I will end it all. I am about to take my first step on the bus when I get a sudden headache from an annoying voice.

"Hey Soren!" Aron calls as he runs up to me. Why was he here again? I didn't drop any books. He didn't need to pick up anything. "Where are you going?" He asked. "Are you not going to stay for the winter dance?"

"The what?" I state with boredom.

"The winter dance. It's where the whole school gets together to celebrate the mark of half the school year being over. You can stay with me and my sister."

"I don't like social gatherings." I state again with the same tone.

"Come on. It will be fun." Aron smiles, trying to peer pressure me like this was drinking or something.

"Well..." I stammer.

"Stay with me if your nervous," Aron insists. "I don't have much friend, I am new here. Well pretty new to everything, maybe we can help each other out?" His eyes pleaded me to stay like a dog begs for food. How could I say no. I guess I will just have to continue with my plan to end it all maybe some other time...

"Stella!" Aron calls out. "Come here!"

In grey high heel ankle boots she walked over, with light jeans, curvy legs and hips, a tiny waist, a beautiful purple shirt and gold jewelry. Her charm bracelet bounced on her wrist with each step she took. Her brown curly hair waved in the wind, her olive skin blossomed in the sunlight. She was not like any girl I had ever seen. She smiled as she walked, just like Aron did. Her eyes were different then other eyes I have seen, they were purple and around them both were beautiful dark lashes and natural coloring eyeshadow and foundation. She was flawless. Maybe I can give it a few more days. Ray can wait.

"Stella this is Soren, the one I was telling you about." Aron looks to her as she walks over. "Soren, this is my twin sister. Stella."

"Soren?" Stella tilts her head and smiles softly. "That's cute." I feel my heart beat speed up a tiny bit, I gulp softly. She was beautiful... not Earth beautiful.

But Malison beautiful.