December 1, 2008  7:30 pm
Santa Barbra, California: Earth
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▫️ Soren

I sit there on my Net-Pad and cry. I don't know for how long. Time doesn't matter anymore if she isn't there by my side.

"Vestry!" I rush back to his store. Vestry was giving sprite shots to a group of teens, I push the online article to him across the wooden table. I have no other words to say as I stare at him, tears gloss over my eyes.

"Soren." Vestry's eyes fill up with sadness for me. "I am so sorry."

"What do I do?" I beg him to tell me. "What do I do with my life now." I start to cry. "She was the only thing I liked about this stupid planet and now she is gone and I just don't know if I can live my life anymore."

"Calm down." My brother puts his arms around me and pulls me into his chest. "You have only known her for three days."

"Six days!" I correct him as I burry my head in his shoulder and let my tears soak his shirt. He hold me in his arms as I weep, he runs his fingers through my hair and down my tan coat, calming my trembling body. He holds me as I cry, then when I can't cry anymore because I have no tears left, that's when my friend finally speaks to me.

"Life is tough," Vestry tells me. "But so are you."

"What does that mean?" I ask between sobs.

"You are just one decision, own thought, one action from a totally different story. You are the author of your life. You write what you want to happen, don't let a plot twist get in your way from living your life."

I hug Vestry, thanking him softly as I hang onto him. He was always so nice to me. I leave him to have a bit of me time. I grab her keys from my pocket and roll them in my hand, I trace my thumb over her keychain as I stare down at it. Vestry helped to calm my emotions enough that I felt comfortable driving, but his inspiration doesn't stop my tears for long.

I drive down the road. I leave the busy city behind in my rear view mirror. The dark trees lines the road as I drove with emotions unable to be explained as anything more then a tragic heartbreak.

The road cuts through the forrest and leads up to a hill, a hill where two lovers had their first date, shared a kiss and then they were sm never able to go back. A hill where fireflies danced the night away and the stars were the only light in the sky. A hill I had learned to love again at.

My thoughts are everywhere as I drive down the road, Ray is gone and there is nothing I can do and absolutely no way to get her back. I came here to live a life of happiness and escape from that torture of my home planet and all I did was enter another round of disaster and depression.

This feeling I was feeling deep inside me, I hadn't felt it for years, I wish I could forget it all. I wish I could forget the way those I previously loved died, but as fires grow, more and more people die. Everyone dies, everyone. I remember the feelings of anger, of sadness, of grief, and finally of mourning. But everything I feel these for Ray I am reminded of that sadness from when I lost my first girlfriend to the dreaded monster of fire. The only thing I could do was watch as I lost her to someone else. I begged for Luke to spare her life, but he did not. That is how I felt now. With Ray, went so much of the small happiness I had gained.

I wasn't feeling depression, depression is homesick but not knowing where your home was. This was a whole other form of depression that makes it feel like you could never be happy again.

My Net-Pad buzzes, telling me I received a message. I glance down at it. Ames is sending me stuff. I click on his name to read what he wrote me.

Hey man, I know your sad about what happened and all. I am here do you if you wanna talk. Me and Hudson are at the teen club you work at. My sister is here as well. If you want to join us, sprite shots are on me, we can take you back... please Soren, come here. It will be a killer time, everything will be normal again.

He think everything will go back to normal after a few drinks? No! She was everything to me! She was my way of starting new and leaving my old life behind. I have never had this amount of happiness in years.

Another buzz, another text. I read the next message. Taking my eyes from the straight empty road as I read what Ames sent me.

Please answer me. Talk with me. We are all here for you. Please don't shut us out!

No I can't. I am not ready, just like after years I still can't talk about what happened. Why I am so different now, why I did what I did, and why I will to anything to make sure nobody else in the galaxy has to go through what I did. I feel so alone in this fight. I don't want to be alone and I don't want anyone else to be alone.

I hear one more text come in.

Solitude it never the answer. Please answer.

I start to feel with anger. This is exactly how everyone reacted last time! They all begged me to stop my anger, to stop the monster growing inside me, but that hatred spread through me. Now I will fight for a reason, I will stop at nothing to make things right. I tried to be peaceful and go on my own way. But if they can't leave me be for two moment in my grief... I wish they would tell me how to overcome this on my own instead of yelling at me for being alone. I delete the last two texts. Then something catches my eye. My screen saver. I didn't change it from her face. My whole attention is now focused on her details. Her gray eyes that seem to take in the light around her. Her pink highlights that compliment her tank top. Everything about her was so perfect that I don't know if I can ever love anyone again.

I remember her smile as she taught me how to drive. "Soren you need to signal." She laughs as I drive her up this very rode. "Don't hit anyone walking. They have the right of way." She was the best thing that had ever happened to me. "Don't be distracted by me in the passenger seat, stay focus on the road." She told me.

Five seconds. Five seconds of a distraction by her was all it took for me to drift slowly over the line that divided the ways of traffic. Five seconds on my Net-Pad not listening to her advice she gave just to me.

I feel a jolt and my neck snap back as I hit an oncoming truck, flipping this little car over, bouncing and turning. I listened to her advice on always wearing a seat belt, so I didn't die on impact, the strap locked across my chest, securing me to the seat as my head moved like a bobble head and the car rolled. Rocks flew at the windshield, shattering the glass, I felt each piece of sharp jagged glass lodge itself into my chest. I tried to reach for the glass as the car was upside down spinning out of control, hitting everything, but my effort to remove the glass only made them dig farther into my chest, into my lungs. I screamed out in pain as the car came to a stop. My breath was wheezy as I tried to take breaths to keep myself alive, I couldn't breath and I could barely see. The car had stopped at the edge of a cliff. Outside the now shattered window I could see the bottom of the endless canyon. I would die if I fell. I received many gifts from home planet Malison, immortality being one of them, nothing could kill me but fire.

I close my eyes, willing for my car to fall, willing for it to go up in flames so I can die, please let me die so I can be with her. Fire was the only thing I have found that can harm me. Fire can destroy me. Fire will destroy me like it destroyed everything I lost in that fire at the place I called home long ago.

I willed myself to fall asleep and to never wake up again, I see my vision go black as stars dances across like the night sky, reminding me of the time I danced under the stars... I black out... and hope to never wake up again.